Divorce Experiences

[DHew]

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[marcus300]

Sounds like you got a free pass to leave imho, if your not living a happy peaceful life and your Ms isn't either then go and be happy with someone else or on your own don't stay in a situation what makes you feel sad. Sounds like its broken and its not worth fixing and from the sounds of it you have already made your mind up you just reassuring yourself but no one can give you a defo on what to do but you need to be happy in life not live a life of torment.

[DHew]

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[kelkel]

Don't know if I'd bother with counselling but I'd surely seek legal advice first to learn what you should, or more importantly should not do. I'd also start taking pro-active steps now to financially protect yourself if possible. Not to hurt her, just to protect personal assets. If and when this becomes common knowledge treat every conversation from that point forward as it it's being recorded, no matter how hard it is to do....

Your situation sounds like one where if you do move out it may be best done immediately and without prior notice.

[DHew]

Ohhh yeah. I am quite well off, and it mostly stems from my fathers work in becoming a millionaire. I haven't told him yet because I know he's going to be scared on what losses he could be facing.

[kelkel]

Then I would quitely seek legal counsel before taking that next step.

[MuscleScience]

Don't know if I'd bother with counselling but I'd surely seek legal advice first to learn what you should, or more importantly should not do. I'd also start taking pro-active steps now to financially protect yourself if possible. Not to hurt her, just to protect personal assets. If and when this becomes common knowledge treat every conversation from that point forward as it it's being recorded, no matter how hard it is to do....

Your situation sounds like one where if you do move out it may be best done immediately and without prior notice.

I agree, I have a buddy in a similar situation. Violent, mean, hateful biotch. It’s only going to get worse the older and more bitter she becomes. Like Kel says, counseling is usually of little effect other than to give her a heads up and blow a lot of money. In my buddies case, his ex used that as time to get her shit in order and served him with papers. They got onto an argument shortly there after and she hit him and went nuts. Cops got called, she claimed he hit her and vice versa. They both ended up going to jail that night. With her anger problems I would envision the same senario.

I know it’s easy to what to do when it’s not you. But if you really think consoling will help and you want to stay with her then be prepared for what they brings.

If you don’t think it will help and are ready to move on. Move out when she is not there. Have your lawyer draw up papers and serve her and never lol back. The most telling thing about what you’ve said is her lack of caring and compassion for your family during the death of your grandmother and the utter selfishness of her during the funeral and lack of cooperation in the little things in your lives. She is just an annoyed female roommate at this point.

[DHew]

The counseling is for me, not her. I tried to have couples counseling last year and she wasn't expecting it. She got......mad. Really mad.

[DHew]

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[DHew]

One time she decided she wanted to get pregnant. She was mad about something, but decided if we don't have sex at that time right there she could potentially miss her pregnancy window for the month and she would never ever forgive me and hate me forever. She was dead serious. Soooo much damn anger. There were tell signs of it earlier, I just blew it off

[MuscleScience]

My mom moved in for a few weeks earlier this year to try to get away from her suspected pedophile Husband. Turn out he was being inappropriate with his high school students as a AP. My wife got really mad at me day 3 when I tried to explain how I was juggling a lot of shit and had a hard time. She said "what are you whining about, you've never liked her husband anyway". I begged her to quiet down because I didn't want my mom to hear us arguing and be even more loud. She said "oh you think I'm being loud now just watch". Anyway, of course my mom heard and started balling.

Just found out a few days ago my dad is struggling with opiate abuse again. I'm talking dengerous doses his doctor shouldn't be prescribing. She gets mad that I tell her I need support. She says "what's so hard? Call him and tell him to stop". She got really angry and said basically she can't stand me. Later that night she said sorry. This was the turning point for me I believe.

How so?

[kelkel]

Run. Just run to your attorney. Do not under any circumstance get that woman pregnant.

[DHew]

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[Mooseman33]

this is going to cost you. Go to attorney, forget the counseling.

[DHew]

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[calgarian]

This has actually turned into a pretty good collection of thoughts and events. I'm going to keep it going for now so I can reference it when I see my therapist tomorrow.

As far as sleeping, she hasn't really let me sleep in the bed with her for well over a year. She's doesn't say "you're not allowed to sleep in the bed with me" butt she refuses to make the dogs that weigh 75 pounds and 100 ponds sleep on dog beds, leaving me zero space on the bed. If my neck isn't in the right spot I wake up with a fucking terrible migraine and she knows this but refuses to compromise at all with the dogs on the bed. There's simply no space left for a 6ft 2in 240 pound man.

If I try cuddling she instantly removes my hand or says how "oh my god it's just sooo hot" and gets super angry.

ok I am confused.....if it is going for quite some time, why you are still with her and why you are going to therapist? What does she have on you that you are sticking around especially when you dont have kids. What it is that keep you in this situation? why you havent you done anything besides try to fix something that is not fixable?
I apologize if I sound like a douche but it sound like lot of nagging and not enough action. You already got the advise you needed.

[DHew]

That's a good question I can't really answer for you. I suppose the perpetual thoughts of reconciliation. If I knew the answers to your questions I think it would make life easier. You are trivializing a very complex situation.

[MuscleScience]

This has actually turned into a pretty good collection of thoughts and events. I'm going to keep it going for now so I can reference it when I see my therapist tomorrow.

As far as sleeping, she hasn't really let me sleep in the bed with her for well over a year. She's doesn't say "you're not allowed to sleep in the bed with me" butt she refuses to make the dogs that weigh 75 pounds and 100 ponds sleep on dog beds, leaving me zero space on the bed. If my neck isn't in the right spot I wake up with a fucking terrible migraine and she knows this but refuses to compromise at all with the dogs on the bed. There's simply no space left for a 6ft 2in 240 pound man.

If I try cuddling she instantly removes my hand or says how "oh my god it's just sooo hot" and gets super angry.

Dude, she is a super bitch. No man alive could or should deal with that.

True story:

I was dating this girl, she seemed perfect we got along great, she was hot and fit. Great in bed, made good money. Buuut, she didn’t know if she wanted to have kids and when I saw how her mom and sister and her treated their dad, I was out. Same shit, the mom couldn’t be bothered by her husband. They had 3 daughters together, we went on a road trip two states away for a wedding and they made him drive a separate car by himself all the way up and back. Not one of them bitches would keep him company. The mom made the Dad sleep in the basement, he had like 8 feet of his bowels took out because of cancer. He’s stomach would make too much noise at night and it kept her up. The daughters would get super annoyed and short with him, for stupid little shit. Half the time he would eat his dinner quitly and leave the dinner table to let them alone.

I was shocked by this and asked my GF why they all treated him like shit. Her response was that he is “too sensitive.” Further into the relationship the Mom was always coming to visit, we could never have a weekend to ourselves. Well one weekend we are sitting there eating dinner and her mom and her start in on me like they do their dad. I blew the fuck up and let them bitches have it. I in no uncertain terms told them I would not allow them to let me live miserable like they make their Dad. My GF cried and her mom was appalled but never had anyone stand up to her like that.

Things changed for awhile but the bitchness and selfishness started creeping back in and I bounced. Come to find out she married a guy much younger than her a few years later, from what our mutual friends said. She treats him just like she did her dad. Dodged a bullet there I guess.

[DHew]

Damn man. Sounds crazy. The more I think about and write down what has been going on the better I feel. That's why I'm seeking therapy. I really think her anger problems have fucked me up. After she botched me out the other night about how I should handle my dad, all I hear is all the shit she spewed out of her mouth to me over the years.

[calgarian]

That's a good question I can't really answer for you. I suppose the perpetual thoughts of reconciliation. If I knew the answers to your questions I think it would make life easier. You are trivializing a very complex situation.

ok so whats stopping you now to just leave? whatever you do DONT SHOW HER YOUR HAND.......just walk away file for divorce and be be HAPPIER.....

[kelkel]

Seek therapy. Just do it after the divorce.

[DHew]

Wouldn't seeking therapy for emotional damage present as useful to show a judge, if needed?

[MuscleScience]

Wouldn't seeking therapy for emotional damage present as useful to show a judge, if needed?

No, being the first to file is the advantage. I think any good divorce attorney will tell you that. She is caught off guard, is playing catch-up and is more likely to display impulsive, irrational behavior. Being the man, you are always at a disadvantage in family court, just the way it is. So it’s better to be on the offensive then the defensive.

[kelkel]

Who knows. That's what your lawyer is for to guide you on what's best (and when) for his client. Get out of this train wreck.

[Mooseman33]

you need to put a P.I on her now.

You need to meet with attorney and start building case.

She sounds like she has you by the balls my friend.

we have alligators in south florida for this type of shit.

[DHew]

I'm in South Florida

[DHew]

What about legally separating?

[RaginCajun]

sounds like you already made up your mind from reading the first post

she sounds like a really messed up person and probably could use some help of her own

do what is best for you bud, as others mentioned, attorney up and get ready for her to unleash the real beast!

make sure you get rid of anything that she can use against you because she will.

good luck!

[Obs]

Stay calm and pretend everything is fine and siphon off every dime you can. Get your new place ready. Hire a PI.
Sell anything you can to a friend (pretend to sell it). Do not go into divorce with a soft dicked legal seperation approach. Line up your troops and rain down hell all in one day. Get her to hit you on camera in front of a PI...

Women have a huge advantage in court and dont leave any slack or she willhang you with it without even trying.

Get her being violent toeard you on camera and file a restraining order, serve her with divorce papers, change the locks on the house, and jave five buddies waiting to haul her shit to a storage shed. Rain hell all at once and be the meanest guy you have ever been and she will hate you forever but you will be rid of a curse.

Don't jump back into a relationship. Marriage counseling is a joke. She obviously thinks she dominates you so show her otherwise for the last time.

I have had a bad marriage. I was shot at, hit, called every name available, and lost many many dollars and hard work along with the entirety of my 20's only to have the cunt leave me.

If I could go back I would be on the IFBB stage. The bitch sucked the fucking life and money from me for ten years and left me for another guy and begged for me back for over a year.


Do not live the way someone wants you to be. Be yourself and be happy. Don't waste your life on a cunt that trys to control you.

Live your life, not hers.
Good luck man.

[Couchlock]

Goodness.

[Obs]

Btw, all those beatings she gives you can onset "PTSD" (post traumatic slut disorder) after the divorce.

PTSD is when you enjoy your freedom so much you never want to get married again and would rather just slut around.
You wont get pussy every night most likely but new and different puss every week is like ten times the quality of the same ol gut every night. Nah, 100 times.

I gotta designate someone to delete my account if I ever die.

I take it back! The only vagina I could ever like belongs to my girlfriend! No new pussy for me! New pussy is terrible! Who wants to listen to a stranger moan and try to break their dick off they want you so bad... Not fucking I!

Dhew, when you get a new place... Get an extra bedroom I am moving in.

I want to get a divorce again just so I can fuck my girlfriend for the first time again! It was the best thing I ever had and still makes my testicles churn thinking about it. We both got off four times at the same time and had the perfect chemistry! We still do bit the first time with her was like I had never fucked before and got to build her from a dream.

I would give up anything for pussy like that every night.
So hold your head high dhew and get some of that in a few months. My ex wife and I weren't shit in bed compared to this new one. I have fucked my gf more in the last year than my wife our entire time together.

I like this subject. I am going to hell.
Hope the pussy is good down there...

[Obs]

Seek therapy. Just do it after the divorce.

I will schedule him into my office for three visits a week. All that above was only the tip of the iceberg.
Dr. Obs is here.

[kelkel]

I see a new thread coming soon:



"Obspowerstroke's Relationship Advice" thread.


Coming to a forum near you....

[kelkel]

Ha, we were typing that at the same time.......cut me in.