why am I so jealous all of the time?

[peam]

I get jealous when people who never committed anything to me stop talking to me so much, or stop comming over unannounced or what not. It's not like I have a boyfriend and am jealous of him hanging out with other girls. It's people that I like hanging out with but... there's nothing saying we're together at all. It's not even people I could possibly have a relationship with.. pretty much whoever I flirt with consistantly. Okay... so what in the world is all this about? I don't think it's about insecurity... but... anyone have any ideas?

[chevy44]

**** ....i am the same way. i always say i dont want anything serious, but the second taht "someone" doesnt call me, or is calling someone else, i get jealous!
i dont know why im like that, probably never willl, but ur not alone (taht was cute huh)

[mass junkie]

Muahhhh peamie

[peam]

I'm serious though mass.... it's a problem. I drive myself insane. Grrrrrrrrr

[hoss827]

Same problem here.....I dont get it. Kisses for Peam!

[mass junkie]

I get jealous too..........but I get over it.......jealousy is a bad thing

[scottninpo]

it's being territorial, you want the undivided attention of friends, suitors, family, whomever because you are afraid of losing their affection to someone else, every women i have ever met is like that, in fact, i usually use it to my advantage, whenever i'm after a girl and she pays me no mind, i just completely stop talking to her and act like i'm now in love with her worst female enemy, works about 80% of the time

[hoss827]

I'll start using that tactic scottninpo . Sounds like it works like a charm

[Tock]

I get jealous when people who never committed anything to me stop talking to me so much, or stop comming over unannounced or what not. It's not like I have a boyfriend and am jealous of him hanging out with other girls. It's people that I like hanging out with but... there's nothing saying we're together at all. It's not even people I could possibly have a relationship with.. pretty much whoever I flirt with consistantly. Okay... so what in the world is all this about? I don't think it's about insecurity... but... anyone have any ideas?

=============

I think it's less jealousy and more anger.
My guess is that you're angry with people who stop paying attention to you. There's lots of reasons why this could be, (a) maybe you feel abandoned or rejected, (b) maybe you feel they have an obligation to maintain the relationship at a constant level, (c) it could be anything really. You'd have to offer more info to really figure this out . . .
That's my guess, anyway . . .
--Tock

[peam]

I know it's a bad thing mass... it drives me crazy... that's why I'm tryin to figure out what causes it... cuz then maybe I can fix it.

[ItalianMuscle]

Just try and get over it. Life moves on...

[peam]

Italian.... I don't know what's causing it... I don't know how to stop it. I mean... I've been trying not to care but I always try not to care about things and it rarely works. Anyhow... maybe I'm just complaining.

[CutieFace]

Perhaps you should look at your relationships w/ these people to see why it is they stopped visiting or talking with you....perhaps there's something you're not even realizing that you're doing which is causing this? Perhaps they tire of the consistent flirting, knowing it won't go anywhere further so they stop trying? could be any number of reasons....you don't specify how old these people are or if they are men or women....

what you're feeling is a sign of insecurity......and we all suffer from it to some degree, some more then others....
just don't let it consume you

Cutie

[monster.]

Ok after reading this 4 times, and still confused... But if i understand this correctly you are mad cause people you flirt with who you are not commited to stop showing up unexpectedly to your house, and they hang out with other girls?

Is this what your talking bout?

[monster.]

Ok, i must of read it right.... They are going after the poon tang sweetheart... The guys that were all the time showing up at your house and you flirting with them, now found other girlies houses to go to...

Chris Rock came correct: "Guys don't have girls that are friends... Guys have girls they havn't ****ed yet"

Answer, find some new friends... People like that aren't worth the **** hanging around... They do not truly care about you and your feelings and therefore, would of stayed coming over your house and talking to you if they did... Move on, don't dwell over these bozos...

[Devourer]

i am a very jealous person. but jealousy is a weak emotion. one that i try to eliminate from my life.

[peam]

I guess it's all about knowing they talk with other people they talk with me. And cutie...flirting's not the only thing I do with them so it couldn't be that... I'm sure it is insecurity in a sense but... I don't know. I don't know why they stop talking to me... never seems that it's something I did but I always wonder. So I guess it is insecurity. Bloody hell.

[Carlos_E]

I get jealous when people who never committed anything to me stop talking to me so much, or stop comming over unannounced or what not. It's not like I have a boyfriend and am jealous of him hanging out with other girls. It's people that I like hanging out with but... there's nothing saying we're together at all. It's not even people I could possibly have a relationship with.. pretty much whoever I flirt with consistantly. Okay... so what in the world is all this about? I don't think it's about insecurity... but... anyone have any ideas?

Were you the center of attention growing up?

[CutieFace]

I guess it's all about knowing they talk with other people they talk with me. And cutie...flirting's not the only thing I do with them so it couldn't be that... I'm sure it is insecurity in a sense but... I don't know. I don't know why they stop talking to me... never seems that it's something I did but I always wonder. So I guess it is insecurity. Bloody hell.

are they guys? or girls?

sometimes guys will hang around because they want something but once they realize that they're not getting what they want, they fade away.....unless they are one of those few special ones who can handle a friendship w/ a woman.....

like I said could be something you're not even aware that you're doing....

Hang in there hon, if they fade away then they weren't worthy of your friendship, time and energy.....

*smile*

Cutie

[peam]

I just want everyone for myself like.... I don't want you but you should still want me. I've done it before where I'm into somebody until they show interest... then I'm like... ewww get away. I'm the baby... I don't know if I was the center of attention. I'm a spoiled brat. I always used to play alone when I was little and I still don't mind being alone...

[peam]

all guys actually.... I don't really like girls.. had the same girlfriends since I was in about 4th grade... some girlfriends come and go but... never stay around very long... and mostly because of me I think I get rid of them...

[mass junkie]

Obviously all this jealousy is aimed towards me...and after some thought i've come to the conclusion that yes...I will let you have my baby...

[lloyd_cannon]

sounds like your teasing them if they are guys, I personnally dont like being flirted with too much its like leading on someone them dropping them. If you dont really flirt with them and they are really just friends (which isnt possible because ever guy wants it) then its their fault for not hanging with you. I just laugh though cause alot of girls do that in highschool and the idiot guys hang around being the intellectual whores they are and always want it but thell never get the loving

[Danielle]

all guys actually.... I don't really like girls.. had the same girlfriends since I was in about 4th grade... some girlfriends come and go but... never stay around very long... and mostly because of me I think I get rid of them...

you think that could be a reason?...are you pushing people away?.......and i dont understand the whole girlfriend thing........like i said in another thread........my brothers girlfriend said she barely ever had a female friend in her life and that she too "doesn't like girls"..........i couldnt even imagine life without my girlfriends..........i have guy friends too.......but i'd rather have a girlfriend then a guyfriend anyday.....any reason why you dont like girls?...........im just trying to understand..........my girlfriends mean the world to me.......

[Xavier_4446]

I have this ugly A** roommate and he gets all the women I don't understand. It confuses the hell out of him . He's 100 soak and wet with shaggy hair. I hate it say it but I can't control it

[DADDYDBOL]

There is a girl - a young one - that I have been "talking" to that seems to have the same problem. I am 27 and she was 18 when we met and I will say this with every ounce that I am - she is the most beutiful thing I have ever seen. The thing is is that she knew that too. She worked at Darque Tan and the day she was hired I stopped by to tan. I couldn't even talk, I walked around behind her and acted stupid so she would explain the beds. After about 2 weeks we were on the friend level and she would stop by when she got off and smoke me out (I'm not a big smoker but when she offers...) and we would hang out and watch movies. The whole time she was flirting big time and I was too so I just figured it was a matter of time. She looks a lot like my ex and she found some pics of my ex and was astounded by how much they look alike and from then on she was a little differnt. Well to rap this up I was falling in love with tis girl I had never kissed, I finally just told her how I felt and now the past few months she calls once or twice a week - where was I going with all this? Anyway she always wanted me to want her but when I went away she would start calling, I guess thats what I was getting to, oh well I think its a fear of being alone. You say you flirt with these guys - do they flirt back or try to take it to another level?

[peam]

I need my girlfriends too danielle but... the same ones that I've always had. It's not so much that I don't like girls... it's mostly that they don't like me. I've been told a number of things about how I "come off" so ... yeah. They're loss if they don't want to get to know me because I know some girls and guys who totally love me and... can you really blame them? Nah... I guess I just want everyone for myself. I'm so freakin scared of ending up alone and I've always just wanted to be in love and get married. The little flirting and leaving thing bothers me. Ummm... so I guess I'm just all confused but.... only dull people really understand themselves, right?

[50%Natural]

Does this have anything to do with people leaving for the military? And how old is this person with whom you demand attention from. I think you should take mass up on his offer.

[Pheedno]

Their sure are some long replys here.

Simple and factual, it's your age. i was a jealous person in my mid-late teens. Two things that change that perspective.
1. Age brings about some wisdom and foresight with experience and you discover that in the grand scheme of things, it really makes no difference that is changable. You discover that peoples feelings and emotions are completely uncontrollable, and this gradually becomes not only acceptable, but empowering in a way. You gain a passive outlook on the present emotion, and prepare for the next best thing in your life.

or

2. You have your heart completely ripped to shreds thus creating a huge void only to be filled with a defense mechanism of disconnection and mistrust with anyone you might deeply want to be close with on an intimate level


Or both for some of us.

Life goes on kid, and though a tear or a frown, or even a feeling of hate might be considered the worst of times. It's better than 6ft deep when emotion is long gone.

[peam]

the guy leaving isn't the one I'm jealous about.... it's everyone else that I've never committed anything too...which is why I'm so **** confused as to why I'm jealous. if it was about him I'd understand.... I don't get jealous of boyfriends that I have... just of people that aren't all mine...

[groverman1]

Jealousy= The work of the devil. Hell, eveyone is jealous to a certain degree. I used to be just like you.

[bermich]

Tock hit it right on.
-Plus, you are an attention wh^^^
-You need everyone to pay attention to you and no one else because you are selfish.
-You think people talk about you when you are not around them so when they are away you need to know what is going on
-You are sheltered and have not experienced anything other than staying at home.
-You are bored with yourself and try to live in other peoples lives
-You dont like the fact that they can have fun without you
-You feel that everyone needs you, when you find out they are doing ok without you, it upsets you cause you realize your pressence is not as crucial as though

[50%Natural]

Nice work bermich. And that is why, your first year of college will be one to remember when those notches you'll be making in the bed will be hard to keep up with.

[bermich]

????

[peam]

guess you just have me all figured out don't you there bermich..... why don't you go fool around with your roommate.. oh that's right you have a fiance

[Tock]

Tock hit it right on.
-Plus, you are an attention wh^^^
-You need everyone to pay attention to you and no one else because you are selfish.
-You think people talk about you when you are not around them so when they are away you need to know what is going on
-You are sheltered and have not experienced anything other than staying at home.
-You are bored with yourself and try to live in other peoples lives
-You dont like the fact that they can have fun without you
-You feel that everyone needs you, when you find out they are doing ok without you, it upsets you cause you realize your pressence is not as crucial as though

===============

Oooooo . . . such tough language . . .
IMHO, there ain't any justification in criticizing a person for what they feel. What ya feel is what ya feel, and since the majority of us have not lived in ideal surroundings with ideal parents, most of us are going to have some sort of emotional problems to deal with. Whatever they are, they ain't our fault, there's no need to be ashamed about them, no need to try to hide 'em. The best thing, and healthiest thing to do with 'em is to try to overcome the problems, and that takes lots of effort and sometimes an awesome amount of courage. So anytime I see someone wrestling with issues like this, I feel myself cheering 'em on, wishing 'em the best, and ready to offer whatever constructive assistance I can.
So congrats and good luck to Peam in dealing with this . . .

[peam]

thanks tock

[spywizard]

I think it basically.. you always want what you can't have..

The best way for guys to get sex or whatever they want is to act like they don't want it.. women have been doing it to us forever.. it works with them to..

what's worse.. if they know about it.. it still works.. just like it does on you.. /

stop chasing.. you will find they stop running.

[wannabmassive]

man! ur an attention seeker

[bermich]

Tough language??? WTF TOCK...

She started a thread asking why she gets jealous. She is ASKING for our opinion. Not like she is just standing in a corner all quietly. SHE F UCKING came on the board and started a thread saying she gets jealous for no reason.
What does she expect us to reply with???

AND PEAM. When you see me start a thread asking for YOUR OPINION ABOUT ME, then you can give it. I could give a shi t less about your opinion of what I do.
Apparently you need attention all the **** time and when you dont get it, you need to start a thread asking why you dont.

Is this the "POOR little PEAM" thread where we console you and tell you it is not your fault. It is everyone elses fault around you?? WHATEVER.