My body is fighting the new cycle severly

[Immortal Soldier]

What are your stats IS?

6'0 (a little over)
193 (my last cycle was a cutter)
bf% 7-8

I know your first instinct is to throw my stats aside, but consider I did just cut as well as all my weight is in my upper body due to the fact I have a family history of arthritis in the knees where both sides of my family have had to get knee surgery and my father did from heavy lifting from his youth so I have been reluctant to really hit my legs where I could add a decent 20-25lbs if I did. It's demoralizing another thing I hate with my body.

To the OP.

When I went to bed last night I was thinking about the one time I ran Tren Ace and Tren NE, I have never felt more emotionally uncertain than during that cycle.

Emotional issues can be indicative of other greater problems, from one´s evironment, One´s past, One´s current physcological stresses.

As I reread more of your thread a few times, I feel like what I am gonna say you might have a hard time doing. IMO, using tren (any ester(s)) can only contribute to emotional issues.

Also please take aspirin ED to keep your blood normal.

Much of what I feel comes from my own past. Tren was a contributing factor (made me emotionally weak) to staying in a bad relationship.

One must find his/her own path.

The issues you brought up in the later part of this thread need to be addressed. I will say IMO a new drug will just undermine a bad situation.

Perhaps you should consider starting a new thread in the lounge about other issues. I am sure you are not the only one.

I am not emotionally uncertain, my muscle dysmorphia has been with me for 3 years before I even touched AAS, maybe I shouldn't have considered AAS knowning I would become to easy psychologically dependent on it.

But I don't regret the decisions I made in my life, if I had a chance I would make them again.

[Mooseman33]

whatever happens Immortal, i wish u nothing but the best.
u are a good guy man...

but remember bro, ur young and have a full life ahead of you..so always be carefull...

[Quo]

But I don't regret the decisions I made in my life, if I had a chance I would make them again.

From personal experience, I can say that this is a really easy thing to say at 23, when the consequences of your actions now are not f*cking up your life on a daily basis. I did a lot of dumb things that seemed like really good ideas at the time that I now severely regret. And I cannot un-do them.

Just think about it... you get one life, one body. It can't be replaced if you **** it up.

I really think you should get this body dysmorphia issue looked at by a professional. Body image issues CAN be fatal... ask my sister, who OD'ed on laxatives and nearly died because of her belief she was too fat when she was at about 4%BF.

Good luck, dude.

[tboney]

Alright so lets get things clear this is my cycle:

1-14 test-e/test-cyp blend 1g/week
1-12 tren -e 800mg/week
1-4 Abomb @ 100mg ed(will start taking it next week)

Alright so I do my first injection, now I do not believe the tren-e could just activate from one injection (that is VERY UNLIKELY) however, I think the fact I cruise on test-e and the bump up to even more test coupled with the fact that regardless if tren-e was working or not yet there is just SO MUCH SHEAR HORMONE IN THE BODY that the body just fluctuated.

Kind of like throwing gasoline onto a fire, even though the tren hasn't been activated and it was one injection my body has taken a nose dive last night after I injected about 3.5 CC's worth of hormone into my body.

This happend when I introduced Deca on my last cycle, what it is it kind of feels like Test flu.

Like I am REALLY WEAK I mean I don't have strength pulling myself onto the bed and I am REALLY COLD like my body is freezing from the inside out and I am out of it. I just worked out and even though I was putting up relatively good weight, I felt like I was gonna die. I was out of it and feeling so shitty and out of wack that I didn't know what to do.

When I first introduced deca to my body the same thing happend but this is more severe, I mean I am in sweat pants and a sweater IN MY OWN HOUSE.

Idk how long it will last, last time it lasted about a week and then disappeared.

Is there anything I can take to help jumpstart my recovery? Obviously cold medication and stuff is useless since I am not "physically" sick.

I think this is a harsh cycle for a 23 yr old.........

[FranciscoG]

I am not emotionally uncertain, my muscle dysmorphia has been with me for 3 years before I even touched AAS, maybe I shouldn't have considered AAS knowning I would become to easy psychologically dependent on it.

But I don't regret the decisions I made in my life, if I had a chance I would make them again.

If you reread that reply; I suggested that emotional issues (muscle dysmorphia or other self-image issues are commonly known as emotional issues) are symptoms of a greater issue. I as such as one´s past. Which is true in your case.

Other situations have lead to this development, which I am sure are private but you can certainly hit me up on the PM if you need to talk. In general these underlying issues involve emotional abuse in one´s past.

I actually think that the use of anabolics can help many people with dysmorphia. I believe and have seen in practice image improvement.

How you feel is not rare. I will be willing to bet that 20% of the members here have at one time had disorders that involve self image, eating disorders, various dysmorhia.

Again I did not explain myself well. When I ment that by use of any drugs is a negative is: It is based on the western medical thought of ¨just give him something and he will go away.¨

Vast majority of medical professionals you will see will try to prescribe you something and get you out of thier office in less than 10 min.

In totality, I mean no new drug is a positive.

Tren and anadrol will not be. The release of progestrone will contribute to depression like symptoms at high enough dosages. Which with the amount of use you have that will be the case. Women often feel the emotional effects of progestrone during pregnancy. You will be using around 1500mg of anabolics that have conversion ability to progestrone.

["DIRTY D" SANCHEZ]

Immortal no one knows your body better than you, but you of course knew that most of these people were going to head this direction with this thread right? I am also 23 and i used off and on since i was like 19 unfortunately. And i actually didn't know about a site like this until late last year (hence the join date) and i never used pct or anything. I don't know how i didn't mess anything up without this info but i sit at around 545 total test in my body as of last blood test. But have you seen a doc who says you should be cruising or is this your own prescription per the feeling of dysmorphia? I only ask because there were times i didn't want to get off either but my guys ran out (turned out for the better) so i was forced to. But as far as the dosages go they are pretty high but you seem to feel your body can handle it right? How long to this day has it been making you feel like sh*t? I found anytime i ran test i get at least a little sick. But as far as these emotions i'd say the tren could be causing it. Yes the body is probably fighting 3.5 cc's at a time considering thats a lot to take in at once ya know? But it can adapt to that (if that is what is making you feel this way). Otherwise i've read posts of guys around like 28-30 which is a whole lot older than us, but they record running doses of like 1200 and higher of test a week. Tren at 7/8 i can't recall them saying that in the posts but it hasn't been popular too long so maybe you will be a prome example for high tren doses......?

None the less we all probably agree as you already admitted to having some what of an addiction to the gear as you feel it makes you look and preform better all around. Well it does, but when you can't stop taking it without wanting to die, its time to seek a new route. Chances are you can do this bro! I had an addiction to pills for a while where i wouldn't pass the chance for them, spending big money on them too. More than i could handle in gear a week bro ($200 a week) and i could never induce that much gear a week. But it sounds like you are starting to rely on it and you should try to stop this naturally without the rehab as you will feel so much better about yourself doing it ya know.

I wish you the best and keep us posted man, i want this to work out as a success story like the deca did bro!!!

Good luck,

"dirty d"

[LBP311]

man im going through the same thing right now im on 40 mg of d-bol ed / 500 mg of deca and 600 mg of test prop. i just started the test prop and took one shot of 100mg 2 days ago and ive been laying in my beed sweating but freezing cold and my legs are killing me, but i dont know whats wrong ive ran way stronger cycles!

[AlphaMaleDawg]

I also have had muscle dysphormia for several years now. It's worse than it sounds and it's very psychological. I try so hard not to look in the mirror unless I am really "feeling" jacked

edit: I dont know if it's "dysphormia" per say, but I do find myself evaluating my muscle and bodyfat way more than I should be

[bjpennnn]

Best of luck to you man, I did not see that you had muscle dysphormia until the last couple post. I use to feel the same way a lot. I hope everything works out for you. Take care of yourself<3

[Swifto]

Over 1g of total AAS for 23 years old at your stats is a little overboard if you want me to be honest (I always am). Thats my opinoin IS.

My stats are similar at 5"11 and a higher bf% (12-14%). I'm around 200lbs and use very low doses. Infact, I had'nt cycled for 4 years until recently and am on Test Prop 100mg/EOD and ran 15-20mg/ED Dbol for the first 3-4 weeks, but stopped due to acne.

Havent trained legs for 4-5 months due to a knee injury (fluid under my patella).

[Immortal Soldier]

Feeling pretty bad guys, going to the hospital will update later.

Need something to dull the migraine and complete lack of everyday strength.

[BeastIn916]

Read your topic and good luck with everything bro.
Its hard when your addicted to drugs, I know that as well.
Best of luck to you.

[Quo]

Feeling pretty bad guys, going to the hospital will update later.

Need something to dull the migraine and complete lack of everyday strength.

Praying for you, my man. Hope everything turns out alright.

[PuzzyFalker]

Feeling pretty bad guys, going to the hospital will update later.

Need something to dull the migraine and complete lack of everyday strength.

I understand where your coming from bro but I honestly think you can get to where you want with less juice. When we are young we dont understand the bad things we do to ourselves until its too late. On the other hand this is your life and if you want to live half a life as a corvette compared to a full life as a camaro thats your choice. Gl bro, I hope you feel better.

[PuzzyFalker]

opps diddnt mean to quote you on my last post.

[corsa5000]

just read every post in this thread and i have learned a lot, the info i find on these boards is priceless. Immortal, i hope everything turns out good for you bro, but i would seek some professional help as soon as possible if i were you. The things you say seem serious and resorting to use this much gear to try and satisfy your mental needs is dangerous to your health.

[bjpennnn]

Feeling pretty bad guys, going to the hospital will update later.

Need something to dull the migraine and complete lack of everyday strength.

I hope your feeling better man. Take care.

[elpropiotorvic]

man....im a young guy as well 21 ...and was considering juicing in a couple years, but now im thinking, is this what it ends with? I dont wanna rely on gear,,,,,i rather be on my 40's ..skinny arms with bitch tits and fat but be remembered for doing something great, instead of being the guy who was bigger than the other friends...honestly...i havent logged in a day...and I think I am slowly growing out of the internet boards, on the one hand it completely sucks, because I want to meet a couple great members here, and Im sure there is a lot more other interesting fellas to meet as well, but on the other hand, there is so much more that I can do with my life instead of sitting behind the computer.

I feel for you man, You look better than me,,,im probably at 13 14% bf and dont have a gym membership as of the new year, I promised myself to prioritize and get the fvck on with my education, I really want to be remembered, I was working, and called one of my customers place, and learned that he is no longer at his place because he is the head of the U.S mission in haiti, his wife came to the office and starts telling me stories about him, and i didnt drop a tear because i had a mix of feelings, but I learned that if that guy was to die tomorrow, he would leave a good good mark in this world, humanity lies within him, and thats what I want to do.

Im sorry for the highjack man, but anyways, I really feel for you and have to admit that I too a lot of times , maybe a little bit too often look at the mirror like that. BUT NO MORE.

GOOD LUCK WITH UR ENDEAVORS

AND LIVESTRONG!!!

[Immortal Soldier]

UPDATE: So instead of the hospital I decide to go to a walk in emergency clinic because hey 1) it will be a ton cheaper and 2) I will get seen a hell of alot quicker

So I go in and pay the $50 insurance co-pay the doctor comes in I explain what I have taken he looks a both sides for signs of infection and takes my vitals.

Pulse came back high, blood pressure came back normal, temperature rather normal if a little above.

Then he tells me he doesn't know the side effects of test and has to go look it up

So then he comes back and says you need to go to the hospital because you need bloodwork ASAP i think its an INFECTION (WRONG its not because the swelling was going down as time was going over) then he said how it could be my kidney and livers being under attacked signs of renal failure.

So in the end I pay 50 dollars for a doctor to tell me to go to the hospital whcih would cost me anotehr 250 dollars ER copay. I said f that, I went to CVS picked up some Emergen-C and Iborfuen took that went to bed and I woke up 2 hours later feeling DAMN GOOD.

Tomm I am going to a clinic that will do blood work and get me the results fast.

[juiceda26]

Wow. Reading all this almost makes me wish i didnt just order shit. But i did and would like to hear an opinion. i got 20ml of 100mg/1ml of propionate and 10ml of 100mg/1ml test suspension and 50 20mg nolva. Anyone have a good idea on stackage? Thanks.

[BJJ]

UPDATE: So instead of the hospital I decide to go to a walk in emergency clinic because hey 1) it will be a ton cheaper and 2) I will get seen a hell of alot quicker

So I go in and pay the $50 insurance co-pay the doctor comes in I explain what I have taken he looks a both sides for signs of infection and takes my vitals.

Pulse came back high, blood pressure came back normal, temperature rather normal if a little above.

Then he tells me he doesn't know the side effects of test and has to go look it up

So then he comes back and says you need to go to the hospital because you need bloodwork ASAP i think its an INFECTION (WRONG its not because the swelling was going down as time was going over) then he said how it could be my kidney and livers being under attacked signs of renal failure.

So in the end I pay 50 dollars for a doctor to tell me to go to the hospital whcih would cost me anotehr 250 dollars ER copay. I said f that, I went to CVS picked up some Emergen-C and Iborfuen took that went to bed and I woke up 2 hours later feeling DAMN GOOD.

Tomm I am going to a clinic that will do blood work and get me the results fast.

What kind of BW are you willing to get?
In any case, you need to see an endocrinologist with your BW on hand.
Also, I would advise you an ECG.

Wow. Reading all this almost makes me wish i didnt just order shit. But i did and would like to hear an opinion. i got 20ml of 100mg/1ml of propionate and 10ml of 100mg/1ml test suspension and 50 20mg nolva. Anyone have a good idea on stackage? Thanks.

Start your own thread.

[Kdub]

According to you, your body is fighting your wishes to get big through the use of AAS and you want us to help you defeat your body's primal instinct to protect itself?

Utterly ridiculous.

Time to do a proper self-evaluation or get a professional one.

If you are not training for the Olympia or as a professional athlete its time to re-think your life.

At 23 I pursued professional bodybuilding and ran 3,500 mgs a week so your dosing isn't spectacular by any means. I was on for 8 months straight my last cycle, had zero sides, zero shrinkage and recovered with no PCT. Am 100% healthy today 13 years later. My body could handle it and if it couldn't then I would have stopped.

It appears you have hit a wall and are slow to realize this. Its best to trade in your value system for a new one.

You are not willing to listen to your own body but are willing to listen to strangers of which you have zero clue about regarding the authenticity of their experiences, medical training, I.Q., common sense or intentions?

In life you can pay now or pay later and when paying later it is always more expensive, more damaging, more emotionally taxing and much more difficult... but we always have to pay.

How much you got???

[elpropiotorvic]

According to you, your body is fighting your wishes to get big through the use of AAS and you want us to help you defeat your body's primal instinct to protect itself?

Utterly ridiculous.

Time to do a proper self-evaluation or get a professional one.

If you are not training for the Olympia or as a professional athlete its time to re-think your life.

At 23 I pursued professional bodybuilding and ran 3,500 mgs a week so your dosing isn't spectacular by any means. I was on for 8 months straight my last cycle, had zero sides, zero shrinkage and recovered with no PCT. Am 100% healthy today 13 years later. My body could handle it and if it couldn't then I would have stopped.

It appears you have hit a wall and are slow to realize this. Its best to trade in your value system for a new one.

You are not willing to listen to your own body but are willing to listen to strangers of which you have zero clue about regarding the authenticity of their experiences, medical training, I.Q., common sense or intentions?

In life you can pay now or pay later and when paying later it is always more expensive, more damaging, more emotionally taxing and much more difficult... but we always have to pay.

How much you got???

U can say that without BEing a douchebag, the guy has a problem and he's nt asking for help to help him get bigger , he is sharing what he is going through ..

[tboney]

U can say that without BEing a douchebag, the guy has a problem and he's nt asking for help to help him get bigger , he is sharing what he is going through ..

I agree! Perhaps a self evaluation is more appropriate for you kdub...........

[Mooseman33]

Immortal, bite the fvking bullet brother and go to the hospital.
money is just that,only money...ur health has no paper value, it is everything..

go get looked at bro, u have no clue what is going on inside ur body....

so i say this as a friend, PLEASE GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND GET EVERYTHING CHECKED....

[Quo]

At 23 I pursued professional bodybuilding and ran 3,500 mgs a week so your dosing isn't spectacular by any means. I was on for 8 months straight my last cycle, had zero sides, zero shrinkage and recovered with no PCT. Am 100% healthy today 13 years later. My body could handle it and if it couldn't then I would have stopped.

Sure, buddy. Sure.

Hope you're doing well, Immortal, and hope you re-evaluate things.

[PuzzyFalker]

[QUOTE=Kdub;5047240]According to you, your body is fighting your wishes to get big through the use of AAS and you want us to help you defeat your body's primal instinct to protect itself?

Utterly ridiculous.

Time to do a proper self-evaluation or get a professional one.

If you are not training for the Olympia or as a professional athlete its time to re-think your life.

At 23 I pursued professional bodybuilding and ran 3,500 mgs a week so your dosing isn't spectacular by any means. I was on for 8 months straight my last cycle, had zero sides, zero shrinkage and recovered with no PCT. Am 100% healthy today 13 years later. My body could handle it and if it couldn't then I would have stopped.

It appears you have hit a wall and are slow to realize this. Its best to trade in your value system for a new one.

You are not willing to listen to your own body but are willing to listen to strangers of which you have zero clue about regarding the authenticity of their experiences, medical training, I.Q., common sense or intentions?

In life you can pay now or pay later and when paying later it is always more expensive, more damaging, more emotionally taxing and much more difficult... but we always have to pay.

How much you got???[

I think many of us have already told him this in a nicer way. But mabe your approach will help him.

[FranciscoG]

Immortal, bite the fvking bullet brother and go to the hospital.
money is just that,only money...ur health has no paper value, it is everything..

go get looked at bro, u have no clue what is going on inside ur body....

so i say this as a friend, PLEASE GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND GET EVERYTHING CHECKED....

Yeap, he needs someone to talk to.

[AlphaMaleDawg]

do u have any pics of yourself immortal? I am curious (if not, it's cool man)

["DIRTY D" SANCHEZ]

3,500 mg a wk? Is this guy fu**ing serious? I thought coleman and those guys super doses were like in the 1,500-2,000mg a wk? Thats just absurd man. But hey if you say so...........

"dirty d"

[elpropiotorvic]

3,500 mg a wk? Is this guy fu**ing serious? I thought coleman and those guys super doses were like in the 1,500-2,000mg a wk? Thats just absurd man. But hey if you say so...........

"dirty d"

pros have that for breakfast... But anyways let's not deviate the thread

[bjpennnn]

According to you, your body is fighting your wishes to get big through the use of AAS and you want us to help you defeat your body's primal instinct to protect itself?

Utterly ridiculous.

Time to do a proper self-evaluation or get a professional one.

If you are not training for the Olympia or as a professional athlete its time to re-think your life.

At 23 I pursued professional bodybuilding and ran 3,500 mgs a week so your dosing isn't spectacular by any means. I was on for 8 months straight my last cycle, had zero sides, zero shrinkage and recovered with no PCT. Am 100% healthy today 13 years later. My body could handle it and if it couldn't then I would have stopped.

It appears you have hit a wall and are slow to realize this. Its best to trade in your value system for a new one.

You are not willing to listen to your own body but are willing to listen to strangers of which you have zero clue about regarding the authenticity of their experiences, medical training, I.Q., common sense or intentions?

In life you can pay now or pay later and when paying later it is always more expensive, more damaging, more emotionally taxing and much more difficult... but we always have to pay.

How much you got???

fuuuuck well said i think i even might of needed to read that

[Immortal Soldier]

do u have any pics of yourself immortal? I am curious (if not, it's cool man)

This is gonna sound pathetic, but whatever. I really don't take pictures of my body because it ends up fustrating me, actually I dont have alot of pictures of myself PERIOD unelss the ones people take care of me.

You think someone like me would have tons of pictures of my body on facebook or something, but I am the complete opposite. Like I said, I hate looking in the mirror why would wanna have pictures to always be there to remind me of what I was?

[Necrosaro]

^ Everyone starts somewhere and from somewhere you started small just like anyone else. Pictures provide so much more then a body image,they allow you to see where you were before and where you are now. Everyone starts somewhere when improving there look and pictures are one thing to help show your evolution to get where you are today.

[-Ender-]

This is gonna sound pathetic, but whatever. I really don't take pictures of my body because it ends up fustrating me, actually I dont have alot of pictures of myself PERIOD unelss the ones people take care of me.

You think someone like me would have tons of pictures of my body on facebook or something, but I am the complete opposite. Like I said, I hate looking in the mirror why would wanna have pictures to always be there to remind me of what I was?

So you're feeling fine now?? None of the symptoms that you have reported still exist?

[Immortal Soldier]

Another update: I was bed ridden in the morning since my body went into thermo shock again around 3-4 am, I got an fever then in the morning it just started sweating so I had to shed clothes.

But the GOOD NEWS is each battle the body is putting up is weaker and weaker than the first ones which were terrible, so I see only a matter of time before the body gives in.

I am not too worried guys because this happend on my last cycle when I introduced deca to my body (first time) except it wasnt nearly as bad, but it left after a week or so and the rest of the cycle was smooth as butter.

Lets hope this goes the same.


I just wanted to take time to thank all you guys for your support, it really means alot. I mean alot of you guys supported me more than my "friends" and that says something. I obviously don't want this addiction in my life and so far I have not abused dosages till this cycle which I still dont think is that bad. Yes for my age it might be which i totally understand. I am working on it and after this cycle i am prepared to go to professional help/rehab center

[Immortal Soldier]

So you're feeling fine now?? None of the symptoms that you have reported still exist?

Thats the thing Ender, one minute I am FINE AS DAY and within a span of 3 hours the body goes does a 360 and goes to hell.

Right now I am fine, but who knows what will happen tonite. Right now the combination of Vitamin C + Robotussin + Ibrofuen is working.

[Necrosaro]

You quote "But the GOOD NEWS is each battle the body is putting up is weaker and weaker than the first ones"

This concerns me!!!

["DIRTY D" SANCHEZ]

^^^^^good job man. And seems to be the smartest choice just to be safe at the very least ya know? Also shows ya how real you're friends are huh?

Good luck man keep us posted,

"dirty d"



-off topic but i had no idea they were doing that much! That is so much i can't fathom this. i believe you i just know ill never get anywhere close to that man, sorry off topic, but that is interesting to me.

[BJJ]

You quote "But the GOOD NEWS is each battle the body is putting up is weaker and weaker than the first ones"

This concerns me!!!

...x2