Anyone have a conflict w/ their gf/wife about how big they want to be vs. wifes view

**40plusnewbie** · 09-30-2010, 11:12 AM

Now that I am on some real mass builders, not to mention I have great genetics and seem to be an easy gainer, I'm putting on the muscle quickly.

I have my view of what I want my body to look like and my wife's view is very different, much less muscular/much less mass, just defined and lean I guess you would say. I want to be a thick son of a bitch sporting a 6 pack.

This is a new topic for us as I just started my first real cycle and putting on muscle daily. How have u dealt with it (I don't want to just tell her 'f off, its my body I'll do what I want' I'd prefer to get her to buy into the idea.

I don't want to be a beast but want to have a look so that even with clothes on anyone who even glances at me knows I am quite muscular.

Suggestions anyone?

**warchild** · 09-30-2010, 11:13 AM

kill her

**Sector** · 09-30-2010, 11:19 AM

I dumped my last girlfriend that gave me grief about being big. However, sense you are married... My suggestions would be a little mind trick. Bring up something that she does that makes her attractive and tell her you done like it. For instance, tell her you want her to stop wearing makeup or wear less of it because YOU prefer her to look more natural. She will probly tell you to butt out or atleast not agree and thats when you relate it back to you wanting to be a big buff badass.

**Times Roman** · 09-30-2010, 11:33 AM

my woman refers to it as "that stuff", as in "I don't know what 'that stuff' is you are taking...." (she does know about the test) You may want to develop a story you present to her that includes the benefits of being in really good shape, less drinking (for me anyways, I don't drink when I'm serious about working out) and improved ability to satisfy her womanly urges.

btw... i'm getting closer to achieving one of my objectives with her.... back to back multiple orggasms! I came pretty close the other night, and I friggin just plain ol' wore out. She's never had a back to back multi "o's", says it's no big deal, but for me, I look at it like it's Everest!!! So maybe after I can resume my cardio schedule???? (nurturing some injuries)

but I think if you want this thing to fly with her, it has to have something in it for her.

The other thing? If it's been awhile since you've been looking studly, she may feel threatened that if you get too studly looking, other women will notice too. For me, that's when I pore it on in the bedroom, and I verbally tell her my goals.... back to back multiple O's, etc. That way, she knows/feels it's all for her.

**Times Roman** · 09-30-2010, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by Sector

I dumped my last girlfriend that gave me grief about being big. However, sense you are married... My suggestions would be a little mind trick. Bring up something that she does that makes her attractive and tell her you done like it. For instance, tell her you want her to stop wearing makeup or wear less of it because YOU prefer her to look more natural. She will probly tell you to butt out or atleast not agree and thats when you relate it back to you wanting to be a big buff badass.

I don't know... mind games like this, for me anyways, are not healthy in the long term.

**Sector** · 09-30-2010, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

I don't know... mind games like this, for me anyways, are not healthy in the long term.

Hmm I can agree with that. If done too much or with something to serious they can be very unhealthy for a relationship. Its really just up to the person in question if they wish to risk it to get what they want :P

**Bigmax** · 09-30-2010, 11:44 AM

Hopefully she will be supportive to your goals bro..Im not a relationship expert but i can tell you that many times bodybuilding and relationships dont go well...whatever it is talking about it and expressing your feelings will help...Now i will have this moved as there is no question about aas here..good luck.

**SlimmerMe** · 09-30-2010, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

my woman refers to it as "that stuff", as in "I don't know what 'that stuff' is you are taking...." (she does know about the test) You may want to develop a story you present to her that includes the benefits of being in really good shape, less drinking (for me anyways, I don't drink when I'm serious about working out) and improved ability to satisfy her womanly urges.

btw... i'm getting closer to achieving one of my objectives with her.... back to back multiple orggasms! I came pretty close the other night, and I friggin just plain ol' wore out. She's never had a back to back multi "o's", says it's no big deal, but for me, I look at it like it's Everest!!! So maybe after I can resume my cardio schedule???? (nurturing some injuries)

but I think if you want this thing to fly with her, it has to have something in it for her.

The other thing? If it's been awhile since you've been looking studly, she may feel threatened that if you get too studly looking, other women will notice too. For me, that's when I pore it on in the bedroom, and I verbally tell her my goals.... back to back multiple O's, etc. That way, she knows/feels it's all for her.

like your strategy---I bet fool proof!

**Hazard** · 09-30-2010, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

my woman refers to it as "that stuff", as in "I don't know what 'that stuff' is you are taking...." (she does know about the test) You may want to develop a story you present to her that includes the benefits of being in really good shape, less drinking (for me anyways, I don't drink when I'm serious about working out) and improved ability to satisfy her womanly urges.

btw... i'm getting closer to achieving one of my objectives with her.... back to back multiple orggasms! I came pretty close the other night, and I friggin just plain ol' wore out. She's never had a back to back multi "o's", says it's no big deal, but for me, I look at it like it's Everest!!! So maybe after I can resume my cardio schedule???? (nurturing some injuries)

but I think if you want this thing to fly with her, it has to have something in it for her.

The other thing? If it's been awhile since you've been looking studly, she may feel threatened that if you get too studly looking, other women will notice too. For me, that's when I pore it on in the bedroom, and I verbally tell her my goals.... back to back multiple O's, etc. That way, she knows/feels it's all for her.

BINGO! This is my problem..... It doesn't matter what I do..... she hates me getting bigger and I know it's because shes very insecure about herself. So I just go and do my own thing anyways..... she knows i'm not content being tiny.....

~Haz~

**Knockout_Power** · 09-30-2010, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

BINGO! This is my problem..... It doesn't matter what I do..... she hates me getting bigger and I know it's because shes very insecure about herself. So I just go and do my own thing anyways..... she knows i'm not content being tiny.....

~Haz~

I hear there are pills for extra inches mate =)

My ex didnt condone my usage but loved when other girls would comment to her on how I looked. She was definitely not insecure at all cause I never even consider cheating and make the effort not to stare at other girls when with her.

**Sector** · 09-30-2010, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

she knows i'm not content being tiny.....

~Haz~

Haz I think you left the word Tiny behing about 60lbs ago.

**NVR2BIG1** · 09-30-2010, 12:19 PM

girls dont want you getting more attention than them, thats the major issue. Do you think its just by chance that extremely attractive women are with average looking guys? They can't handle someone on their own level or above it, its viewed as a threat

**Dont wanna be old** · 09-30-2010, 12:29 PM

My wife is real open minded .
She says I look like any other forty seven year old and I'm wasting my time .

And Haz . Your not alone I'm tiny too .
I fantasize about a women with tiny hands .

**Sector** · 09-30-2010, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by Dont wanna be old

I fantasize about a women with tiny hands .

I feel your pain. Its not the hands I fantasize about being tiny though :P

**Hazard** · 09-30-2010, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

I hear there are pills for extra inches mate =)

My ex didnt condone my usage but loved when other girls would comment to her on how I looked. She was definitely not insecure at all cause I never even consider cheating and make the effort not to stare at other girls when with her.

LMFAO! I suppose it's too late to edit my post......

Originally Posted by NVR2BIG1

girls dont want you getting more attention than them, thats the major issue. Do you think its just by chance that extremely attractive women are with average looking guys? They can't handle someone on their own level or above it, its viewed as a threat

You sir..... are a smart man for sure!

Originally Posted by Dont wanna be old

My wife is real open minded .
She says I look like any other forty seven year old and I'm wasting my time .

And Haz . Your not alone I'm tiny too .
I fantasize about a women with tiny hands .

All you guys suck..... For what it's worth - I poked the wifes ovary last night.....

~Haz~

**V-ROID** · 09-30-2010, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by 40plusnewbie

Now that I am on some real mass builders, not to mention I have great genetics and seem to be an easy gainer, I'm putting on the muscle quickly.

I have my view of what I want my body to look like and my wife's view is very different, much less muscular/much less mass, just defined and lean I guess you would say. I want to be a thick son of a bitch sporting a 6 pack.

This is a new topic for us as I just started my first real cycle and putting on muscle daily. How have u dealt with it (I don't want to just tell her 'f off, its my body I'll do what I want' I'd prefer to get her to buy into the idea.

I don't want to be a beast but want to have a look so that even with clothes on anyone who even glances at me knows I am quite muscular.

Suggestions anyone?

Tell her in order to look they way she wants, you have to bulk up before you can cut down. Tell her you will gain 10lbs of muscle and lose 5lbs of fat. Then say you diet was wrong if she complains and it was due to her cooking. In order to shed and shred you will have to do another cycle. That oughta get you 6 months or so down the road, maybe she will change her mind by then if you're a good boy...

**Brewster** · 09-30-2010, 03:14 PM

Why don't you show her how big your penis has gotten(optical illusion since your balls are smaller)(Try shaving your pubs to, this always makes my weiner look bigger)

And then show her the other great thing about being on a cycle.
I don't know if your taking prop.
But the complaints will turn into "40plusnewbie I can't have any more sex, you just destroyed my Vagina and ripped me a new anal"

**boundup** · 09-30-2010, 03:22 PM

Eh, I am not wanting to be huge so much as lean and defined. I think about 180-190 would be a solid amount of mass on me. That being said, my last g/f had a tummy on her and when I started getting bigger and leaner, she became more self conscious about everything. When we would go shopping we would get into big fights because I didn't want a pack of oreos.

**supe3** · 09-30-2010, 03:33 PM

I agree with what a lot of people are saying here, my woman got very insecure after I got back in shape, and she was over weight, she was always "checking up on me" and shit after I started looking better then her. BUT, one good thing that did happen is that it made her want to be in better shape too, and she now looks A LOT better, nothing like a little insecurity in a relationship to make things better LOL

**V-ROID** · 09-30-2010, 03:34 PM

Thanks for the thread. I never felt so lucky. My chick is into diet as much as me (almost) and exercises as much as me (more) and doesn't care what I do if I go about it correctly ( and share)... But yah I can tell it bugs her as we get older and my BF drops easier than hers... Oh well...

**crazy_rocks** · 09-30-2010, 04:21 PM

its kind of funny because girls always think they need to loose weight but we want them to keep their butts and thighs. guys want to get large and muscular and they want us lean and muscular.

**LGM** · 09-30-2010, 04:25 PM

I've not had this problem; I've always been a big guy. My current g/f actually wants to see what I'd look like on gear, and is encouraging me to take it... She's smokin hot though, and believe me I know I traded up with her. lol...

As for the OP, there's nothing wrong with sitting down with her, explaining things to her, helping her understand the facts vs. the myths, and telling her how important this is to you.

**40plusnewbie** · 09-30-2010, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

The other thing? If it's been awhile since you've been looking studly, she may feel threatened that if you get too studly looking, other women will notice too. For me, that's when I pore it on in the bedroom, and I verbally tell her my goals.... back to back multiple O's, etc. That way, she knows/feels it's all for her.

That's def part of the issue. Although she trusts me (I never cheated on any woman in my life..... then again i was never committed to any woman in my life until my wife when I was 35 yrs old lol). Her girlfriends are making comments about me to her, desk chick at the gym said "bye honey" to me today when we dont even know each others names and have only greeted her a few times, chick i gave a tip about ab work at the gym got all red and blushed and thanked me and she was real hot, etc, etc....

**40plusnewbie** · 09-30-2010, 04:41 PM

Originally Posted by Brewster

Why don't you show her how big your penis has gotten(optical illusion since your balls are smaller)(Try shaving your pubs to, this always makes my weiner look bigger)

And then show her the other great thing about being on a cycle.
I don't know if your taking prop.
But the complaints will turn into "40plusnewbie I can't have any more sex, you just destroyed my Vagina and ripped me a new anal"

She is def looking forward to the cyp kicking in lol

**Dont wanna be old** · 09-30-2010, 05:08 PM

All you guys suck..... For what it's worth - I poked the wifes ovary last night.....

~Haz~

**Times Roman** · 09-30-2010, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

All you guys suck..... For what it's worth - I poked the wifes ovary last night.....

~Haz~

that's nothing. Sunday night, I was giving it to my woman deep, kissing her.... she started gagging and I felt something like another tongue in there. The other funny thing was as i thrust myself deeper, the deeper I got, I coulda swore I felt something in there like teeth!

**Times Roman** · 09-30-2010, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by supe3

BUT, one good thing that did happen is that it made her want to be in better shape too, and she now looks A LOT better, nothing like a little insecurity in a relationship to make things better LOL

Leadershipt by example! My woman has lost 30+ lbs in the last 5 months, and I stick my, I mean show my appreciation to her every chance I get!

**crionics** · 09-30-2010, 07:36 PM

I showed my wife a You Tube video of Kai Greene posing...She said "Eww...Look at his legs." I think she knows that I would kill for legs like hat.

**mperk** · 09-30-2010, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

BINGO! This is my problem..... It doesn't matter what I do..... she hates me getting bigger and I know it's because shes very insecure about herself. So I just go and do my own thing anyways..... she knows i'm not content being tiny.....

~Haz~

LOL You're just too fukkin big, Haz...She's just afraid you'll crush her! hahahahahaha

but seriously 40PN, i get the same thing and the shit of it is that her bro & dad were skinny dudes so she thinks that's "normal" WTF is "normal" anyway? But she seems to be getting used to it after 4 years - she even said she'd go to a bb contest w/ me this weekend! She'll see - I'm actually small (not tiny...) Phil Heath is the guest poser...MONSTER! BTW i started this shit at 47 - so its never too late!

**terraj** · 09-30-2010, 08:38 PM

I'm not allowed to get any bigger. And no muscle shirts when out with the wife.

But she is Japanese and they don't dig the whole BB thing...

**boxin23** · 09-30-2010, 08:42 PM

Left my Wife....problem solved

Don't keep a girlfriend now for more than a month....problem solved.....LOL....

It's great after 13 years with same woman to have 22 different ones in a year...haha....i don't give a Fu*K what they (women) think about my personal decisions........problem solved!!!!

**stevey_6t9** · 09-30-2010, 09:00 PM

dump her.

**boxin23** · 09-30-2010, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by stevey_6t9

dump her.

That made me laugh....haha....plain and simple......as Arnold would say "hasta la vista ....Baby!"

**sensaispike** · 09-30-2010, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by boxin23

Left my Wife....problem solved

Don't keep a girlfriend now for more than a month....problem solved.....LOL....

It's great after 13 years with same woman to have 22 different ones in a year...haha....i don't give a Fu*K what they (women) think about my personal decisions........problem solved!!!!

NICE... i like your style, screw spending a life time unhappy and having someone bitch at you. Kick that ass to the curb and go on being happy and huge.... :-)

**smalltime7** · 09-30-2010, 11:01 PM

my wife likes it she says the bigger i get the smaller she looks im 5'6" 190 shes 5'2" 115

**martialartsman** · 10-01-2010, 03:32 PM

Not a problem for me the wife understands that its my life and thats that, i wouldnt stop her from chasing her dreams so why stop me from going after mine.

**40plusnewbie** · 10-02-2010, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by Brewster

Why don't you show her how big your penis has gotten(optical illusion since your balls are smaller)(Try shaving your pubs to, this always makes my weiner look bigger)

And then show her the other great thing about being on a cycle.
I don't know if your taking prop.
But the complaints will turn into "40plusnewbie I can't have any more sex, you just destroyed my Vagina and ripped me a new anal"

One the downside I"m taking HCG on cycle so balls not shrinking. Not on prop, on cyp, but have already told her when it kicks in I'll be wanting sex like crazy and she loved that!

**40plusnewbie** · 10-02-2010, 09:26 PM

Times Roman: that's nothing. Sunday night, I was giving it to my woman deep, kissing her while having sex like a beast .......... she started gagging while I was kissing her and I felt something like another tongue in there. The other funny thing was as i thrust myself deeper, the deeper I got, I coulda swore I felt something in there and I think it was the head of my own dick!

**40plusnewbie** · 10-02-2010, 09:32 PM

Originally Posted by boundup

Eh, I am not wanting to be huge so much as lean and defined. I think about 180-190 would be a solid amount of mass on me. That being said, my last g/f had a tummy on her and when I started getting bigger and leaner, she became more self conscious about everything. When we would go shopping we would get into big fights because I didn't want a pack of oreos.

I finally broke my woman of this habit of trying to shove crap food down my face. I just say in a loud voice "Protein, protein, protein!"

**TKO Performance** · 10-03-2010, 05:36 AM

I've always been pretty big, so my wife is used to it and loves it. She does her workouts and I do mine and we never really comment about it. I think the issue stems from two different people with different views on lifestyle. My wife and I are both into eating good and exercising, not for what the other thinks about us, but for ourselves. Not everyone is so fortunate, but there are always going to be things about your spouse that you don't like and vice versa. The sooner you both learn to let those things go the better off you'll both be. There should be about 10% of things about your spouse that drive you nuts, and vice versa.

If you found someone who was exactly like you, but female you'd kill each other. All you end up seeing is the negative qualities in her that you hate in yourself. Then you argue over degrees of things because you like all the same stuff. Trust me, I dated a female version of myself at one point and it was just never going to work out.

Oh, and if they are worried that you will cheat, or are cheating then it means that they are insecure and/or are cheating or thinking about it. People suspect others of behaviors in which they themselves partake. Think about how easily it is for an honest person to get lied to.