Gonna try to get gyno surgery

[Test Monsterone]

Have about 15 dad bod buddies from high school and college that would sell their souls to trade places with you

It’s an endless quest and we’re all on the same journey…in no fucking way do you look like shit. Hairy maybe, but you can see the dedication.

I’m currently on the road, eating like a dumpster and haven’t had a minute to get to the gym in OC. I feel like a trash panda.

That is what motivates us though brother. Keep up the fight and don’t you forget we’re all in a very elite minority.

Even the guy that finishes second at the Olympia isn’t happy with his physique. It’s all perspective

I appreciate it man. Sorry for the hairy pics. I was just trying to show how bad it can look vs how good it can look. If I had a perfect, no better, diet - and my nipples were always hard, it probably wouldn't bother me as much. You, on the other hand, can probably put on 15 lbs of fat and still look great. I've been really busy, too, and a lot of stuff going on on the weekends. Hardly had time to train. Skipped leg day yesterday ugh. Was too stressed out with work to work out, which never usually happens. You're right, though, the down times give us the motivation to do even better. And, the joints and tendons get a little break.

Better pic - yup, a lot of fat in the lower end of the pec < That’s the hardest part to work with

My right one is the annoying one now - it’s not bad, but has a bit of fatty tissue - to get that corrected just right is so difficult

I’m “trying” to cut - but, life def gets in the way. I think that mine would really go away a lot if I can pull & keep my bf% at about 9% flat

But, yeah - those bad boys just grew within months when all the sudden the dex stopped it’s effectiveness

Recovery - shit, compared to my brain shit, is a walk in the park. You wear a “bro” for 2 months(get the real good one) or so & are able to lift after a few weeks. . . I got a whole thread on here somewhere about the whole thing.

Man, I don't know if I could wear a bro for 2 months ;-) A broad, maybe. 9% sounds rough. I haven't seen 10% since... probably never. My left one is more of the problem for me. If it was the same as the right, I probably wouldn't have even made this post. Fuck it. I'll see what I can do. A solid diet wouldn't be a bad idea.

[SampsonandDelilah]

I hope you know I’m kidding about being hairy

I’m a fucking Sasquatch if I don’t manscape regularly!

[Honkey_Kong]

I hope you know I’m kidding about being hairy

I’m a fucking Sasquatch if I don’t manscape regularly!

You know it's kind of funny on here. You'll see guys complaining that they wish they had chest hair and then you have Chia Pets like us wishing we didn't have so much to manscape. The grass is always greener on the other side.

[SampsonandDelilah]

Manscaping is a full time job! Otherwise it looks like I have a mushroom in a corn field!

[Honkey_Kong]

Manscaping is a full time job! Otherwise it looks like I have a mushroom in a corn field!

I have all those problems AND my old lady has to shave my back too. And you guys have seen my other threads. I'm basically forced to use electric razors so I never get that smooth feeling.

[< <Samson> >]

Shit

I look like chewbacca within a week if I don’t shave - longest I didn’t shave was during & post my icu stay - I told myself that I’ll shave as soon as I’m able - it was maybe a total of about 3 weeks if that - fuck, I looked like a ape

[Honkey_Kong]

Shit

I look like chewbacca within a week if I don’t shave - longest I didn’t shave was during & post my icu stay - I told myself that I’ll shave as soon as I’m able - it was maybe a total of about 3 weeks if that - fuck, I looked like a ape

Ahh man. And you feel like the hair makes it impossible for you to be "clean" even if you just bathed. I always have it in my mind that the body hair is trapping odor that I'm nose-blind to.

[< <Samson> >]

Ahh man. And you feel like the hair makes it impossible for you to be "clean" even if you just bathed. I always have it in my mind that the body hair is trapping odor that I'm nose-blind to.

Totally, and it makes me itchy af


I only use a trimmer set to zero on my whole body - head to toe. . . I touch up 2-3x per day. . . This shit grows well over 1mm per 24 hours

[DinAZ]

Totally, and it makes me itchy af


I only use a trimmer set to zero on my whole body - head to toe. . . I touch up 2-3x per day. . . This shit grows well over 1mm per 24 hours

Trimmer or clippers is the only way at least for me. I tried shaving chest and the boys completely smooth with a razor when I was younger for a gal that didn’t like hair. Eventually I decided to go back to clippers cause it’s a pain to razor shave balls often. Razor shaved hair makes me itch when it starts growing back. I’m pretty sure my coworkers thought I had crabs.

[Test Monsterone]

I shave my balls and crotch with a razor every week, no itch at all, ever. I've been doing it since I was 14. I think that itch only happens when you first start. I don't even remember it itching ever...

[SampsonandDelilah]

Razor ball shaver here too, a quality body lotion and a fresh Mach 3 every three days…no itch

It’s the fucking back hair that kills me. I can trim the chest with my clippers but the back I do with a razor and I swear that shit grows by the hour. Hate the feeling of having a 5 o’clock shadow on my back

[Mooseman33]

Totally, and it makes me itchy af


I only use a trimmer set to zero on my whole body - head to toe. . . I touch up 2-3x per day. . . This shit grows well over 1mm per 24 hours

brotha, do u really shave 2-3 times a day? everyday? go get the electro hair removal.
holy shit u guys spend a ton of time shaving.

[Dgs59]

I am a bear according to my wife, she had enough doing clippers for me so booked me in for laser removal.

[Honkey_Kong]

I am a bear according to my wife, she had enough doing clippers for me so booked me in for laser removal.

So this brings up the question. How large of a job can you get them to do realistically? I know it takes multiple treatments, but there's got to be a limit with the amount of hair that you're having them zap.

[Test Monsterone]

So this brings up the question. How large of a job can you get them to do realistically? I know it takes multiple treatments, but there's got to be a limit with the amount of hair that you're having them zap.

I owned and ran a laser cosmetic clinic for a few years and still have the laser in my basement. I never used it on my chest and arms. Just back and shoulders. There are different hand pieces the technician can select. Mine goes up to 15 mm. So you basically hold a button or foot pedal and zap away, overlapping say 5 mm. There is a little light than shines on the skin so you can see where you are zapping. It can take about an hour on a back. You also have an attached cooler machine that blows cold air to prevent injury.

You don’t individually target each follicle, like with electrolysis.

Btw I’ve done my dick and balls, and it works. Have to shave way less. You can use a topical anesthetic to numb the skin. Shit sold at stores won’t work, you need a prescription for the strong stuff.

[tarmyg]

Not understanding how to shave my ballsack To Be Honest. Exactly how does that work? Sack is like a raisin. Do you have to stretch out the skin or?

[SampsonandDelilah]

Not understanding how to shave my ballsack To Be Honest. Exactly how does that work? Sack is like a raisin. Do you have to stretch out the skin or?

Yup, stretch that bad boy flat and shave away. Remember to shave WITH the grain (the direction the hair is naturally growing) and not against the grain…really important in preventing in grown hairs!

I keep my bean bag nice and smooth, way better that way and have been told multiple times much more aesthetically pleasing.

[tarmyg]

Yup, stretch that bad boy flat and shave away. Remember to shave WITH the grain (the direction the hair is naturally growing) and not against the grain…really important in preventing in grown hairs!

I keep my bean bag nice and smooth, way better that way and have been told multiple times much more aesthetically pleasing.

So, I went and did this as soon as I read it. Was super easy. Not sure why I did not do this before.

Now, when I came out of the shower the wife came in, saw my newly shaved private parts and said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Ok, so who the fuck are you making yourself pretty for”.

Literally stayed pissed off for 1h.

[SampsonandDelilah]

So, I went and did this as soon as I read it. Was super easy. Not sure why I did not do this before.

Now, when I came out of the shower the wife came in, saw my newly shaved private parts and said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Ok, so who the fuck are you making yourself pretty for”.

Literally stayed pissed off for 1h.

Tarmy, tell me you said YOU BABY. I’m making myself pretty for you

Glad the technique was helpful at least.

I literally and intentionally shave my junk when I know my wife won’t be home to avoid that conflict specifically

[< <Samson> >]

brotha, do u really shave 2-3 times a day? everyday? go get the electro hair removal.
holy shit u guys spend a ton of time shaving.

Yup

I got it down to a science now tho - 10-20 mins 2x a day average

It’s the roids + my genetics. My dad is hairy, I’m hairy > on steroids

[Honkey_Kong]

I owned and ran a laser cosmetic clinic for a few years and still have the laser in my basement. I never used it on my chest and arms. Just back and shoulders. There are different hand pieces the technician can select. Mine goes up to 15 mm. So you basically hold a button or foot pedal and zap away, overlapping say 5 mm. There is a little light than shines on the skin so you can see where you are zapping. It can take about an hour on a back. You also have an attached cooler machine that blows cold air to prevent injury.

You don’t individually target each follicle, like with electrolysis.

Btw I’ve done my dick and balls, and it works. Have to shave way less. You can use a topical anesthetic to numb the skin. Shit sold at stores won’t work, you need a prescription for the strong stuff.

Ok, back hair is annoying, but I can live with that. What about getting your ass crack done. Do these clinics do that part normally? And if I got that done, how bad would it hurt and for how long?

[Honkey_Kong]

I owned and ran a laser cosmetic clinic for a few years and still have the laser in my basement. I never used it on my chest and arms. Just back and shoulders. There are different hand pieces the technician can select. Mine goes up to 15 mm. So you basically hold a button or foot pedal and zap away, overlapping say 5 mm. There is a little light than shines on the skin so you can see where you are zapping. It can take about an hour on a back. You also have an attached cooler machine that blows cold air to prevent injury.

You don’t individually target each follicle, like with electrolysis.

Btw I’ve done my dick and balls, and it works. Have to shave way less. You can use a topical anesthetic to numb the skin. Shit sold at stores won’t work, you need a prescription for the strong stuff.

Ok, back hair is annoying, but I can live with that. What about getting your ass crack done. Do these clinics do that part normally? And if I got that done, how bad would it hurt and for how long?

[SampsonandDelilah]

TMO,

Your thread has taken a hard turn, lol! You may want to rename it

[wango]

Ok, back hair is annoying, but I can live with that. What about getting your ass crack done. Do these clinics do that part normally? And if I got that done, how bad would it hurt and for how long?

Ass crack? Ass crack?!? Is this a new generation thing? That said, have been shaving the ball sac for a couple a decades now, plus the territory tween that and the bum hole. Think it’s called the gooch. With age comes unsteady hands, with unsteady hands comes bloodshed. Guess why that’s the real old timers stay away from the practice, lol. Keep the above parts trimmed, but clean shaven? Hope none of ya waxes their eyebrows. Newer generation, yikes!

[SampsonandDelilah]

Brother, you were at the helm for this one!

My apologies then TMO…

Hope you at least know how I feel about the initial topic

[< <Samson> >]

Now, hitting the ass crack with a trimmer - talk about a challenge

[SampsonandDelilah]

Allright FINE, I will engage on the new topic.

Just man up and go get some Nair. It only burns for a while.

Wax that ass crack. Literally. Go get some leg waxing strips and apply to your crack. It's kind of like a reverse wedgie. Just rip that shit off, it only hurts if you are a wimp.

Let's see, what other horrible advice can I give? Hmm, ok: when you nick your scrote, which you WILL do every now and then, just douse it with some alcohol. The isopropyl kind, not the liquor kind. Though, what the heck, get you some cheap ass vodka and try that. That, and maybe some of the "Old Spice" after shave, but not even the name brand, get like the knock off version and use that. Also be aware that when the scrote blood starts flowing, even the strongest among us will get woozy. It's natures way of saying "Be more careful".


Normally, I would be like 'nah, don't give out silly advice, because you never know when someone might misinterpret it and go do it.' But you know what? If somebody takes any of the advice I have offered here, they kind of got it coming.

Dying

[tarmyg]

Tarmy, tell me you said YOU BABY. I’m making myself pretty for you

Glad the technique was helpful at least.

I literally and intentionally shave my junk when I know my wife won’t be home to avoid that conflict specifically

Pretty much. Just just happy I did not go this route.

https://youtu.be/XbJrIeEjtaY

[SampsonandDelilah]

Pretty much. Just just happy I did not go this route.

https://youtu.be/XbJrIeEjtaY

That is hysterical!! Oh shit…oops

[wango]

Allright FINE, I will engage on the new topic.

Just man up and go get some Nair. It only burns for a while.

Wax that ass crack. Literally. Go get some leg waxing strips and apply to your crack. It's kind of like a reverse wedgie. Just rip that shit off, it only hurts if you are a wimp.

Let's see, what other horrible advice can I give? Hmm, ok: when you nick your scrote, which you WILL do every now and then, just douse it with some alcohol. The isopropyl kind, not the liquor kind. Though, what the heck, get you some cheap ass vodka and try that. That, and maybe some of the "Old Spice" after shave, but not even the name brand, get like the knock off version and use that. Also be aware that when the scrote blood starts flowing, even the strongest among us will get woozy. It's natures way of saying "Be more careful".


Normally, I would be like 'nah, don't give out silly advice, because you never know when someone might misinterpret it and go do it.' But you know what? If somebody takes any of the advice I have offered here, they kind of got it coming.

Cy, great advice . However, I’m a Brute and Hai Karate aftershave guy myself. I’ll see if there are any knock off versions of either . . . .

[Test Monsterone]

Ok, back hair is annoying, but I can live with that. What about getting your ass crack done. Do these clinics do that part normally? And if I got that done, how bad would it hurt and for how long?

Oh yeah, they do it all. It would hurt only for the duration of the procedure. Every zap feels like a rubber band snapping you, more or less. If you use the lidocaine gel, it will hurt a lot less. I've had it done by my girlfriend and it wasn't as bad as you'd think. It's like with injecting, you'll get the occasional spot that hurts like hell because of nerve clusters or if the hair is thicker in that part. The darker the hair, the better it will work. If you do get it, ask them what type of laser they use. Make sure it's either an Alexandrite or Nd:YAG. Don't go for the IPL (intense pulsed light), they don't work that great and you need way more treatments.

[Test Monsterone]

Ass crack? Ass crack?!? Is this a new generation thing? That said, have been shaving the ball sac for a couple a decades now, plus the territory tween that and the bum hole. Think it’s called the gooch. With age comes unsteady hands, with unsteady hands comes bloodshed. Guess why that’s the real old timers stay away from the practice, lol. Keep the above parts trimmed, but clean shaven? Hope none of ya waxes their eyebrows. Newer generation, yikes!

Why not? not to get into too much detail, but it's pretty easy. Put one leg up on a ledge or on the side of the bathtub, lift your sack up with the hand on the side of the leg that's raised, and with the razor go front to back... all the way back. Do it for each side. I've done it for so many years I don't even think about it. I haven't nicked anything in years. I use the Gillette Mach 5 razors, but I'll be careful if the razor is brand new.


S&D, you change your razor out every 3 days? Damn, I change mine every 3 months lol.

[wango]

Why not? not to get into too much detail, but it's pretty easy. Put one leg up on a ledge or on the side of the bathtub, lift your sack up with the hand on the side of the leg that's raised, and with the razor go front to back... all the way back. Do it for each side. I've done it for so many years I don't even think about it. I haven't nicked anything in years. I use the Gillette Mach 5 razors, but I'll be careful if the razor is brand new.


S&D, you change your razor out every 3 days? Damn, I change mine every 3 months lol.

It was honestly a bit in jest. I just pictured dudes digging their razor or trimmer in as they tried to pry their ass cheeks far apart. And holy hell, if I had mounds of hair shooting out from between my ass cheeks, I’d get that layered off in a heart beat. I do trim my lower ass when I trim my gooch though, seems wrong to have hair growing there.

Sincerely, thanks for this thread. After listening to everyone’s input & reading Samson’s advice, I’m putting this in the not likely to happen file for myself and using the $ on a less expensive surgery, that being hair replacement.

[Dgs59]

So this brings up the question. How large of a job can you get them to do realistically? I know it takes multiple treatments, but there's got to be a limit with the amount of hair that you're having them zap.

By just looking at it, they said I need 8 to 10 sessions so I am guessing that this is normal to have 10 sessions. Also apparently they can't run the laser on a tattoo.

I owned and ran a laser cosmetic clinic for a few years and still have the laser in my basement. I never used it on my chest and arms. Just back and shoulders. There are different hand pieces the technician can select. Mine goes up to 15 mm. So you basically hold a button or foot pedal and zap away, overlapping say 5 mm. There is a little light than shines on the skin so you can see where you are zapping. It can take about an hour on a back. You also have an attached cooler machine that blows cold air to prevent injury.

You don’t individually target each follicle, like with electrolysis.

Btw I’ve done my dick and balls, and it works. Have to shave way less. You can use a topical anesthetic to numb the skin. Shit sold at stores won’t work, you need a prescription for the strong stuff.

About 8 years ago I had my first test Patch and it hurt like mofo, zapping with bloody rubber band (I don't remember any cold air though)

I haven't had my test patch yet with the new technology but she said it doesn't "really" hurt now as the machines have improved significantly in last 8 years. Is that true?

[Test Monsterone]

By just looking at it, they said I need 8 to 10 sessions so I am guessing that this is normal to have 10 sessions. Also apparently they can't run the laser on a tattoo.



About 8 years ago I had my first test Patch and it hurt like mofo, zapping with bloody rubber band (I don't remember any cold air though)

I haven't had my test patch yet with the new technology but she said it doesn't "really" hurt now as the machines have improved significantly in last 8 years. Is that true?

Essentially, no. The Alexandrite laser has been around since the 70s and is the most effective at reducing hair growth. This isn’t a brand of laser, it’s a type of laser that uses the Alexandrite crystal found in the ground. There are many brands of lasers that use various crystal types, including light filters, Alexandrite crystal, etc.

Knowing this, the mechanism by which lasers perform hair reduction is the same, only the efficiency is different. The melanin in the hair follicle that gives it its color absorbs the pulse of light and energy from the laser. The energy, in the form of heat, travels down the hair shaft to the root and surrounding tissue and destroy it. The destruction of the hair follicle and surrounding tissue is what leads to hair reduction. The better the laser, the more it will hurt. If it doesn’t hurt, it’s likely not doing anything.

[< <Samson> >]

Def used to it now + getting hairy & nasty is good sometimes < something to hide behind

Like my PCP is hairy as a monkey - he don’t give a fuck. Who cares, when there’s nothing to show & you got better things to do than worry about your own looks < I know, tough to imagine. . . . Lol

[teedoff]

Ok to jump into the surgery mix. I have loose skin around mid section and under arms. Not terrible. But also not sure it would ever go away even if I were in my best shape. So my trainer told.me about j-plasma. I did some research and it seems like a very good, less invasive alternative to surgery. You should check into that as well TM. Not sure your issues are the same as mine, but worth a shot. Very lite recovery time and nothing more than a small incision where the gas is injected. It might be renamed to Renuvion. At least it is at the only clinic around me that performs this procedure.