Obsessed with sex, you too?

[2Sox]

I just love that moral compass! I always thought I needed one of those, Now I have one.

Hey! Sex flicks should be on the Good side.

If you haven't yet seen "Thanks for Sharing", put it on the top of your que. It' a very good film.

Then check out the site Yourbrainonporn. Very revealing information.

[Beethoven]

I remember having conversations with 2sox befor about "choices". Where I do agree we are to an extent the choices we make, we are not all driven by the same force. We are at the inner level different. There is an adage that the perfect woman is your lady in public, your partner and confidant in private and your whore in bed. I don't say that in a demeaning way obviously but the point is that sometimes yes we " make love " but most others it's just good old fashioned f#cking. Although I have shared and swapped, never with my wife. I guess it's that old this is mine and don't f#ck with it. There are those of us "in touch" with our feminine side and those of us who are alpha males. By that virtue we will inherently make different choices. So the fact the one guy has that type of relationship with his partner, and they're both ok with it is fine for them, maybe not us but them. This kind of thing is not new and has been around as long as we have inhabited this planet. Wars have begun and people killed over that little piece of land.
Now please excuse me while I go back to my porn.

[2Sox]

I've been thinking a good deal about this thread, the content of the responses and also the paucity of responses - considering there have been well over 500 views. It's pretty clear to me that not only are us men uncomfortable about this subject but in general we've been dishonest with ourselves about it. In my opinion, there is entirely too much male bravado and self-deceptioin surrounding it. For what reason would someone say, in essence, "Different strokes for different folks"? Do you think it might be that he's protecting that attitude in himself? Rationalizing and reserving the right for himself to have contempt in the same way - if not in practice, then in his mind? I learned that contempt in any form not only hurts another person but it hurts the person having it. I would argue that we have to see that there is a greater pleasure we can have - the pleasure of respect - which can be accompanied by TREMENDOUS passion and wildness! When you hold a woman in your arms and have the purpose of having a good effect on her, and making her stronger, as you touch and are close to her body, the mutual pleasure is indescribable! I know because I've experienced this - and still do to this day. (And you all know I have the past history to make such a comparison.) You don't get it right every time but the pride and self respect you have for trying to get it right - for the purpose you have - is more than worth it. You can use it for inspiration the next time! I challenge the men on this forum to be honest about this.

I also challenge you to watch "After Porn Ends" and "Thanks for Sharing". Look at both with your best critical eye. I don't think anyone can come away from the viewing without feeling great compassion, some shame, and learning - perhaps seeing - something about yourself in each one. And then I challenge you to linger with that feeling and ask yourself why you have it.

[Beethoven]

I've been thinking a good deal about this thread, the content of the responses and also the paucity of responses - considering there have been well over 500 views. It's pretty clear to me that not only are us men uncomfortable about this subject but in general we've been dishonest with ourselves about it. In my opinion, there is entirely too much male bravado and self-deceptioin surrounding it. For what reason would someone say, in essence, "Different strokes for different folks"? Do you think it might be that he's protecting that attitude in himself? Rationalizing and reserving the right for himself to have contempt in the same way - if not in practice, then in his mind? I learned that contempt in any form not only hurts another person but it hurts the person having it. I would argue that we have to see that there is a greater pleasure we can have - the pleasure of respect - which can be accompanied by TREMENDOUS passion and wildness! When you hold a woman in your arms and have the purpose of having a good effect on her, and making her stronger, as you touch and are close to her body, the mutual pleasure is indescribable! I know because I've experienced this - and still do to this day. (And you all know I have the past history to make such a comparison.) You don't get it right every time but the pride and self respect you have for trying to get it right - for the purpose you have - is more than worth it. You can use it for inspiration the next time! I challenge the men on this forum to be honest about this.

I also challenge you to watch "After Porn Ends" and "Thanks for Sharing". Look at both with your best critical eye. I don't think anyone can come away from the viewing without feeling great compassion, some shame, and learning - perhaps seeing - something about yourself in each one. And then I challenge you to linger with that feeling and ask yourself why you have it.

I think the reason there aren't more responses is that many probably feel this is being overthought. The male sex condition be it monogamous or whatever else there is is a natural condition. The fact that this forum is dedicated to TRT, so we can all keep not only or bodies youthful but how to keep the sex going. That drive IS innate in ALL of us here. Why else was there a thread on Cialis that has gone on forever with a thousand pages? Now the fact of how we all participate in the "sex" is going to be different for all of us. We may not all agree or even like someone else's turn ons but we are all different. Respect can be had on many different levels and is not exclusive to heterosexual monogamous relationships. Would you consider gay sex between two gay partners contemptuous? How about bisexuals? We are all wired differently. Another factor is age. When I was much younger I wanted to have sex as often and with whomever I could. (Of the female species) As I've grown older, I also like mental stimulation. That's just part of life. Would I do a three some again, probably. Would I involve my wife? No. I remind myself of the another old saying that we men spen nine months trying to get out and the rest of our lives trying to get back in. In this forum that seems to be true. No my latest porn download is complete, back to porn.

[2Sox]

^^^^Always like to hear from you.

Regarding gay sex: If a person feels his (or her) purpose is to have good will for the other person - to have the other person stronger and better off, and the whole world looks more beautiful to them afterwards - go right ahead. No judgements.

And I think at this point it would be good to clarify some definitions from Aesthetic Realism that apply here and that have revolutionized my thinking;

Contempt - the lessening of things not oneself as a means of self increase as one sees it. This can be something as subtle as a disrespectful thought or as dramatic as a violent act.

Respect - is the same thing as good will. The desire to have something else stronger or more beautiful for this desire makes oneself stronger and more beautiful.

Yes, we have instinct and we are sexual beings. But we are also THINKING beings. Humans are the only species who have a sense of self; a consciousness of oneself. And because we do, we have something that no other species has. At any given time we can choose either respect or contempt IF we see that we have the clear choice. I'm very grateful and feel very fortunate that this body of knowledge makes clear that we do.

I taught for nearly thirty years and spoke to my students often about this idea. And if I was having difficulty with a student and he or she was given the opportunity clearly to choose between being fair or being unfair - having respect or contempt - (and what opinion they would have of themselves as a result of their choice) invariably, they would choose to be fair. It may have not happened on the spot, but it happened. That's one of the things I loved about teaching; because of their strong sense of ethics, my students gave me more hope for humanity. I learned and they showed me, and have seen time and time again, that fairness is part of our ethical makeup and it's the deepest thing in us. It's a fascinating study.

[Beethoven]

^^^^Always like to hear from you.

Regarding gay sex: If a person feels his (or her) purpose is to have good will for the other person - to have the other person stronger and better off, and the whole world looks more beautiful to them afterwards - go right ahead. No judgements.

I always enjoy not only your knowledgeable contributions to TRT but our other stimulating topics my friend.

[buttslinger]

.

Regarding gay sex: If a person feels his (or her) purpose is to have good will for the other person - to have the other person stronger and better off, and the whole world looks more beautiful to them afterwards - go right ahead.

In the ancient Roman World, they didn't even have a word for gay sex, it was just sex. You were judged on how you handled it. Romeo and Juliet were 15 and 13.

Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that bodybuilding wasn't always healthy, I think there's a trade-off with sex, it isn't all good. I had an entirely second life devoted to it, I'd embezzle money from work and get drunk at the strip clubs and have sex with whores and dancers, and waitresses, and girls walking down the street at 3AM. Half the time I won, half the time I lost.

This was back in the time of Marion Berry's Washington DC, they've cleaned up the streets and clubs, I don't even drink now.

I do believe that gay blades, perverts, and low-lifes have more exciting sex lives than the faithful and loving husband or wife. Sex is 5% of a happy marriage, and 95% of an unhappy one. In DC about 97% of the AIDs cases occur in the class of people who earn less than 10 grand a year. Hell has the best parties. CAVEAT EMPTOR.

[Beethoven]

Again to choices. When you're giving a student a choice, that is one thing. But in life your choices aren't presented in that fashion. As butslinger pointed out, he chose to go in a different direction than maybe you or I would have gone. I don't see the OP position on sex as contemptuous as long as he and his wife are both ok with it. Now again I am not, but that's me and he's him. Ask yourself, what drives each of us? Why does one person tend to zig when the other zags? Some kids born to wealthy well to do families seem to choose the corrupt path when those born surrounded by contemp or corruption choose the opposite path? It's easy to do the right thing when everyone's looking, not always as easy when no one is looking.

[2Sox]

Deleted

[2Sox]

Again to choices. When you're giving a student a choice, that is one thing. But in life your choices aren't presented in that fashion. As butslinger pointed out, he chose to go in a different direction than maybe you or I would have gone. I don't see the OP position on sex as contemptuous as long as he and his wife are both ok with it. Now again I am not, but that's me and he's him. Ask yourself, what drives each of us? Why does one person tend to zig when the other zags? Some kids born to wealthy well to do families seem to choose the corrupt path when those born surrounded by contemp or corruption choose the opposite path? It's easy to do the right thing when everyone's looking, not always as easy when no one is looking.

Well I'm presenting the choices here. It's up to you to do what you want with them. I've said it many times before - you've just got to test these principles and see for yourself if they are true. Sometimes, it's not easy to leave old, cliched beliefs behind. It takes courage and a desire to be honest with oneself about what one finds. And I'll tell you, I saw this courage and honesty in my students every day for the thirty years I was with them using these principles - and others I learned. But my purpose here is not to teach you - it's to tell about you what I learned and relate it to the questions members bring up here.

[2Sox]

In the ancient Roman World, they didn't even have a word for gay sex, it was just sex. You were judged on how you handled it. Romeo and Juliet were 15 and 13.

The Romans never had a monopoly on amorality and it's very old news. They just left lots of records. Remember Sodom and Gemorrah? And you can find stuff like that going on right here in NYC in the West Village, Manhattan or any enclave in any big (or small) city, in any country. So what point are you trying to make?

Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that bodybuilding wasn't always healthy, I think there's a trade-off with sex, it isn't all good. I had an entirely second life devoted to it, I'd embezzle money from work and get drunk at the strip clubs and have sex with whores and dancers, and waitresses, and girls walking down the street at 3AM. Half the time I won, half the time I lost.

This was back in the time of Marion Berry's Washington DC, they've cleaned up the streets and clubs, I don't even drink now.

It's very good to know you changed. (Or was there another point you were trying to make?)

I do believe that gay blades, perverts, and low-lifes have more exciting sex lives than the faithful and loving husband or wife. Sex is 5% of a happy marriage, and 95% of an unhappy one. In DC about 97% of the AIDs cases occur in the class of people who earn less than 10 grand a year. Hell has the best parties. CAVEAT EMPTOR.

At least you've made it clear to us that you have some work to do on your cynicism and how you see certain "classes" of people - which some of us on this forum may be part of.

Bold above.

[buttslinger]

Ouch, sorry I voiced my opinion.

[suprarob]

The world has gone to hell in a hand basket. Sharing your mates is just sick stuff to me. I've been married 34 years and we have never cheated on each other. The generation we have no has no moral compass. I will skip the religious aspect and move straight to secular so no endless debates needed or desired. The Romans had an extremely powerful super power that went to hell in a handbasket as soon as the morals dropped and justice was perverted.

The world today reminds me of a job I had delivering trash with a dump truck to the city dump. The first time i went there it was disgusting filthy and sickening. I looked at the guys who worked there just laughing and eating at the top of the hill. I realized that the longer one stayed around the filthy dump the more acclimated they became. Today is no different. Look how it turned out for the Romans. Should we expect different?

[Beethoven]

Well I'm presenting the choices here. It's up to you to do what you want with them. I've said it many times before - you've just got to test these principles and see for yourself if they are true. Sometimes, it's not easy to leave old, cliched beliefs behind. It takes courage and a desire to be honest with oneself about what one finds. And I'll tell you, I saw this courage and honesty in my students every day for the thirty years I was with them using these principles - and others I learned. But my purpose here is not to teach you - it's to tell about you what I learned and relate it to the questions members bring up here.

Look I get what you're saying. And I originall agreed with your "morality" view. What I'm simply saying is that morality to an extent can vary and still be legal. Why should it be just your particular view? The Christian community for the most part considers homosexuality immoral, yet it's being legalized everywhere for them to wed. Either side considers themselves moral and just. So you are ok with homosexuality but not with a guy that has an understanding with his wife on different sexual lifestyle? There are those in the gay community that I'm sure swap and have multi partner relationships. Immoral because they're gay or because the have multi partners? I'm just saying it can be YOUR opinion (and in this case mine too) that a guy sharing his wife is something YOU or I would not do, but certainly not immoral or illegal.
Slinger, most of us have been to an ugly place in our lives, what counts is what you learn from it and do after that counts.

[Beethoven]

The world has gone to hell in a hand basket. Sharing your mates is just sick stuff to me. I've been married 34 years and we have never cheated on each other. The generation we have no has no moral compass. I will skip the religious aspect and move straight to secular so no endless debates needed or desired. The Romans had an extremely powerful super power that went to hell in a handbasket as soon as the morals dropped and justice was perverted.

The world today reminds me of a job I had delivering trash with a dump truck to the city dump. The first time i went there it was disgusting filthy and sickening. I looked at the guys who worked there just laughing and eating at the top of the hill. I realized that the longer one stayed around the filthy dump the more acclimated they became. Today is no different. Look how it turned out for the Romans. Should we expect different?

Pretty much.

[2Sox]

Ouch, sorry I voiced my opinion.

All of us here are welcome to express our opinions. There is never a problem with that. A free exchange of ideas is what makes this forum so good. But it's always a good idea to be prepared to see if ones opinions are based on mistaken assumptions and prejudices. Occasionally there will be an opinion expressed that may not only be hurtful to others but also hurtful to the person expressing it. Sometimes one of us here will point that out. And IMO, there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, that's a very good thing.

[2Sox]

Look I get what you're saying. And I originall agreed with your "morality" view. What I'm simply saying is that morality to an extent can vary and still be legal. Why should it be just your particular view? The Christian community for the most part considers homosexuality immoral, yet it's being legalized everywhere for them to wed. Either side considers themselves moral and just. So you are ok with homosexuality but not with a guy that has an understanding with his wife on different sexual lifestyle? There are those in the gay community that I'm sure swap and have multi partner relationships. Immoral because they're gay or because the have multi partners? I'm just saying it can be YOUR opinion (and in this case mine too) that a guy sharing his wife is something YOU or I would not do, but certainly not immoral or illegal.
Slinger, most of us have been to an ugly place in our lives, what counts is what you learn from it and do after that counts.

If you look again at my posts, I think you'll see clearly that we completely agree with each other. Whether it's same sex or "other" sex, if two people are certain they are having good will for each other, bless them. What I tried to make clear is that if good will is NOT the purpose - whatever the relationship - each individual will inevitably despise the other and loathe themselves. People can live together for years in such poisonous relationships. We've all seen it. This is my opinion based on my observations and personal experience.

[hawk14dl]

I'm also obsessed with sex. Then again I'm 29 and not married

I do try to find someone and stay with her, monogamously. That's just in my nature. Tried the 3 some thing with an ex, it ended before it started. I had the two of them in bed, we were all naked and starting the foreplay, she instantly got jealous when I touched her friend and left the room.

I tried to carry on with the friend, but she left to go check on the ol lady.

We broke up shortly after

[suprarob]

I'm also obsessed with sex. Then again I'm 29 and not married

I do try to find someone and stay with her, monogamously. That's just in my nature. Tried the 3 some thing with an ex, it ended before it started. I had the two of them in bed, we were all naked and starting the foreplay, she instantly got jealous when I touched her friend and left the room.

I tried to carry on with the friend, but she left to go check on the ol lady.

We broke up shortly after

Fantasy and reality are not the same.

[macmathews]

Thanks Buster and Ramble for your replies.

Don't you find it interesting that it's been almost 24 hours since my lengthy post above and there has been no discussion at all?

I have plenty more to say on this. Would love to hear from you guys.

I'll chime in here..
While what you state is well put, its not true for everyone. Those are your experiences and while they may ring true for others they certainly do not for everyone. I have been down this road with my stunning wife and it just made us closer and stronger.. We have had several threesome's and while they have been all M/F/F she understood it was a dream of mine and also wanted to explore her own sexuality.. We never lived the life but enjoyed it after a night out and considered the third party no more than a sex toy. She also understand that if she ever wanted something for her that would be fine with me, but we also hide nothing from each other and are stronger for it, I know people VERY happily married and live that lifestyle. Remember love is FAR more than sex, sex being a flash in the pan so to speak.

I just realized I brought back the Dead.. But I also know that 2sox is a regular poster sooooooo....

Mac

[2Sox]

^^^^Nothing at all wrong about resurrecting this thread. Should be required reading, IMO.