If you owned a gym.....

**Monkeytown** · 02-12-2005, 11:27 AM

My gym would have a separate area for noobs and NYE resolution people. If you can hang with the program for 6-8 weeks and are showing progress then you can move in with the big boys.

MT

**mfenske** · 02-12-2005, 11:27 AM

1. No Elderly (unless they're really jacked like this one guy and his wife at my gym)
2. No inner and outer thigh machines
3. If you are spotted doing bench and biceps more than once in the same week you are taken out back and thoroughly beaten (twice if bench and biceps are the same workout)
4. Broom twists (see also #3)
5. Anyone doing exercises not instantly recognizeable for a muscle group(s) will be flogged (there's a guy at my gym that holds dummbells with a hammer grip and then proceeds to do pelvic thrusts).
6. More than 2 power cages.
7. Dumbbells that go heavier than 130.
8. Any members under the age of 25 caught bench pressing with more than 2 friends will have their membership immediately and permanently terminated. This rule also applies to any other upper body exercises. I would put lower body also, but we all know this type doesn't need those.
9. If walking on the treadmill you must maintain a speed of AT LEAST 2.5 Mph and an incline of AT LEAST 5%.
10. All members are allowed to only use one matched pair of dummbells at any given time (an old guy at my gym always takes every single weight from 2-20 lbs, making it hard to warm up).

That's all I can think of for now. Mark

**Monkeytown** · 02-12-2005, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by mfenske

1. No Elderly (unless they're really jacked like this one guy and his wife at my gym)
2. No inner and outer thigh machines
3. If you are spotted doing bench and biceps more than once in the same week you are taken out back and thoroughly beaten (twice if bench and biceps are the same workout)
4. Broom twists (see also #3)
5. Anyone doing exercises not instantly recognizeable for a muscle group(s) will be flogged (there's a guy at my gym that holds dummbells with a hammer grip and then proceeds to do pelvic thrusts).
6. More than 2 power cages.
7. Dumbbells that go heavier than 130.
8. Any members under the age of 25 caught bench pressing with more than 2 friends will have their membership immediately and permanently terminated. This rule also applies to any other upper body exercises. I would put lower body also, but we all know this type doesn't need those.
9. If walking on the treadmill you must maintain a speed of AT LEAST 2.5 Mph and an incline of AT LEAST 5%.
10. All members are allowed to only use one matched pair of dummbells at any given time (an old guy at my gym always takes every single weight from 2-20 lbs, making it hard to warm up).

That's all I can think of for now. Mark

Preach on Brotha!! These are two that annoy me most. Six high schoolers all benching together. It only takes 15 minutes for them to get through one set.

ARGH!!

**OldSchoolLifter** · 02-12-2005, 12:02 PM

Some rules I learned at my first gym that I still hold from nearly 20 years ago are:
1.) Treat it as your home and rack your weights on a tree NOT on the cage.
2.) Cage is for power movements only.
3.) Check your ego at the door
4.) You do anything that doesn't look safe (TRYING to bench 275 when 185 is your personal max) will get you called out, and you do it again and you will be thrown out
5.) Teenage kids show respect to people really trying to get a workout in and hurry up on the bench.
6.) Rock is all that we play!!!!

**BIGB** · 02-12-2005, 07:09 PM

no flexing after each set in the mirror.

**SwoleDave** · 02-12-2005, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by Mesomorphyl

Are you saying you are gay and wear lifting gloves?

no mesomorphyl...

**Mesomorphyl** · 02-13-2005, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by BIGB

no flexing after each set in the mirror.

If you are doing it for others' benifit agreed, if you are doing it for your own benifit it is ok... Have you ever tried this in between sets on lets say bicept work out?

**BIGB** · 02-13-2005, 12:30 PM

i know what you mean by that kind of flexing but the guys that do like a set of bench then there up in the mirror for a couple minutes flexing the arms and basically cheakin themselves out i think it looks retarted. On arm day after a set of biceps i've flexed them afterward gives you a good pump.

**BASK8KACE** · 02-13-2005, 12:50 PM

--No dropping weights
--Re-rack your weights
--Do not do exercises directly in front of the dubmbell rack.
--Keep your bench far away from the dumbell rack so people can pass by with enough room to avoid taking off your knee caps while carrying dumbells
--Anyone caught dancing can be bitch slapped once by anyone without retailation from the person being slapped. If you're a bad dancer you can be slapped twice.