Thread: disgusting jokes..
12-25-2010, 07:30 PM #1
ok.. so i am one of those guys who laughs at the most horrible jokes in the world and wanted to post a few.. i welcome/encourage people to out disgust these jokes.. i appologize in advance for my disgusting behaviour
While you may laugh at these types of things many others find this totally out of order... since it was labeled I will not suspend you this time but consider this a warning of how far not to go... Child porn or child abuse WILL NOT be tolerated by anyone in any part of this forum... PLEASE refrain from refferencing the subject again...
12-25-2010, 08:42 PM #2
really? no one has any jokes??
12-25-2010, 08:52 PM #3
cold bro funny but cold.
12-25-2010, 08:54 PM #4
It's Christmas day/evening and everyone is playing with their new toys that santa brought, syringes, alcohol wipes, 10 ml bottles of test, HCG , HGH or BF/GF or B/ and G/F or, or.....give it some time.
12-25-2010, 08:58 PM #5
12-25-2010, 09:01 PM #6
12-25-2010, 09:07 PM #7
12-25-2010, 09:22 PM #8
12-26-2010, 12:25 AM #9
my gay friend told me this one so dont get mad at me guys
two gay guys are walking down the street when one notices a dirty old bottle laying of the side of the road he looks to his mate and says
Omg whats the world coming too when people throw there trash every where
So he walks over picks it up the genie in the bottle pops out and says
Im the genie of the mother ****ing bottle u get one wish
the two gay guys look at each other and say i thought u give three wishs the genie says
naw thats the genie of the mother ****ing lamp im the genie in the mother ****ing bottle now make your wish
two gay guys whisper back in forth and decide to tell the genie get back in your mother ****ing bottle will use the wish later
so its later the two lovers are back there getting down and dirty the kkk break down the door take em out side and hang em
so the one gay guy says i think its time to use that wish but i already did wtf did u wish for ****
to be hung like a n+++er
i swear im not racist lol i own two color tvs
12-26-2010, 12:56 AM #10
I was hoping to hear some dirty jokes I guess I will have to check back later
12-26-2010, 07:17 AM #11
here is a few more.. trying to remember a few good ones i used to know and can not remember them correctly
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
A: His wife died.
Q: How can you tell if you’re at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.
Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak
Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.
12-26-2010, 07:21 AM #12
this one is not dirty, but it is funny
Paddy’s been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs.
When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!”
“How did you know?” he asks.
“The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.”
12-27-2010, 12:53 AM #13
12-27-2010, 01:00 AM #14*Anyone wanting a source check from a willing vet/mod must first acquire 100 posts and 45 days of activity*The Young and Steroids
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12-27-2010, 06:17 AM #15
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12-27-2010, 11:02 AM #16I thought I knew it all...WRONG!
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Yeah bro, there is no freedom of speech here. Basically, it's a "keep in line and kiss the right ass" sort of place. Any individual humor, views, topics, etc. that others may disagree with are just a first class ticket to being singled out and threatened with an entire list of the "you betters".
Let me be clear, I don't think any of these jokes are funny. I do believe it is his right to tell them though.
One of my favorite sayings:
"Though I do not agree with what you say, i will defend to the death your right to say it"
12-27-2010, 11:13 AM #17
OP. Edit this shit.
12-27-2010, 11:20 AM #18
12-27-2010, 11:31 AM #19
What do you call a leper in a hot tub?
12-27-2010, 11:51 AM #20
I don't think the joke is funny but I just don't laugh and I move on. It's thinking like yours that got the pledge of allegiance pulled out of schools.
The whole I don't like it so nobody should train of thought has spread like a bad disease.
12-27-2010, 12:02 PM #21
Even Freedom of Speach has limitations. Trust me, I am the last guy who thinks the Pledge of Allegiance should be pulled form schools and I say Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays. If you think posting "jokes" about raping 5 year old boys is appropriate then it's just something you and I will have to agree to disagree on.
12-27-2010, 12:08 PM #22
12-27-2010, 12:13 PM #23
To clarify, my post to Skyler wasnt meant to compare the two, my post was simply to find out where he personally draws the line.
12-27-2010, 12:21 PM #24
Also, Just because there is no picture doesnt mean something cant be classified as child porn. Writing or making reference about raping a 5 year old boy I am sure falls into the same category with more than a few people.
12-27-2010, 12:29 PM #25
DEFINITION OF "CHILD PORNOGRAPHY"
... / Making child pornography / distribution or sale of child pornography / Possession of child pornography / Defence / Defences / Other provisions apply.
163.1 (1) In this section, "child pornography" means
(a) a photographic, film, video or other visual representation, whether or not it was made by electronic or mechanical means,
(i) that shows a person who is or is depicted as being under the age of eighteen years and is engaged in or is depicted as engaged in explicit sexual activity, or
(ii) the dominant characteristic of which is the depiction, for a sexual purpose, of a sexual organ or the anal region of a person under the age of eighteen years; or
(b) any written material or visual representation that advocates or counsels sexual activity with a person under the age of eighteen years that would be an offence under this Act.
12-27-2010, 12:39 PM #26
Getting a little too technical there. Striving to find a loop hole that shows that it's "technically" wrong. Seems like the same tactics the people use to drop god out of the pledge of allegiance or make saying "bless you" wrong.
It's not hard to find a technicality in anything.
12-27-2010, 12:49 PM #27
I am not saying it qualifies, I am saying its dangerously close. I guess this thread isnt a total waste as it least it has provided some respectful debate.
12-27-2010, 01:04 PM #28
12-27-2010, 02:24 PM #29
12-27-2010, 02:48 PM #30
lol what do michael jackson and priests have in common
they both know there way around lil boys
if u think this joke is breaking the rules ur so very wrong it made it into the new york times how i dont know but it did
12-27-2010, 03:20 PM #31
whew, somebody open a window its getting hot in here.
12-27-2010, 04:45 PM #32AR Admin
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While you may laugh at these types of things many others find this totally out of order... since it was labeled I will not suspend you this time but consider this a warning of how far not to go... Child porn in any form or child abuse WILL NOT be tolerated by anyone in any part of this forum and the same goes for racisism... PLEASE refrain from referencing the subjects again...
I have received many pms pro and con on this thread... I do not think that the OP meant it as some or most would take this and I do find it in bad taste however I would not have opened it with the title in place, had I not been sent the link to check it out along with disgusting remarks... now while I believe all have the right to post what they want they do haft to follow our rules to do so on this site...
12-28-2010, 12:20 AM #33Originally Posted by Skyler;5471503[B
Makes one wonder if you think " Basically, it's a "keep in line and kiss the right ass" sort of place why u keep coming back here......
Even John Stuart Mill one of the biggest proponents of free speech said there should be limitations to Free Speech. Following the "Harm Principle," that we all learned in government class in high school or should have (crack at the public system). Speech can and should be limited in the case where rhetoric can cause harm to others. Very clear examples that have been exercised in the legal realm are those of Hate Speech and Pornography.
In the US, Free Speech also falls under the added constraint of what is Moral and Proper, to society as a whole. Thus Freedom of Speech evolves in time with the ideas of the society as it changes. Clearly anything glorifying or promoting Child pornography and sexual assault is not under any legal or even debatable protection under anyone's standards.........................MuskelWissenschaft........................
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12-28-2010, 05:08 AM #35
A guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables around his neck. The bar tender turns to him and yells "Hey, don't you go starting anything in here buddy".
12-28-2010, 06:45 AM #36I thought I knew it all...WRONG!
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You guys are pathetic, and that's putting it lightly.
The fact that so many people can quote my post, as if they are going to point out my own words to use against me, or to argue with, and then continue to write about things that have nothing to do with me, my views, or my post, and somehow think they are related, is beyond, well, sad.
How many of you stupid assholes are going to talk about "Skyler's freedom of speech talk" before you actually read my post and notice that I never said one damn thing about freedom of speech?
I said "Although I do not agree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it"
Yeah, that quote has been around for a few hundred years, and it came from a time before "America" as we know it was even formed, and the person saying it, meant the same thing that I meant when I said it. Not legal rights, basic human rights. A man has a right to his opinions. A man has a right to say what he wants, to speak his mind, to state his views. People not agreeing with his views, opinions, sense of humor, etc do not justify trying to remove his basic human rights.
Again with this idea that all you internet geniuses are dumb shits in disguise, I notice that you will even make comparisons and assumptions that imply or even flat out state that I must agree with him, or support his views, even when I intentionally stated right from the start that i do not agree with him, his views, etc. just for that very reason.
I thought to myself "If I don't break this down barney style, all these douche idiots are sure to lead to all sorts of crazy conclusions".
Guess I was wrong though, because even when I do break it down barney style for you, someone how it still goes right over your heads, and the idiocracy continues.
As far as "why do I keep coming back"?
Congrats, you are also a stupid shit. I don't keep coming back. That would imply that I keep leaving, and then returning. I only "left" once. The reason why I returned just once, was because after being gone for a few days, I decided to hop back on so I could edit out pictures and videos from my old posts, when i suddenly realized that an entire thread was devoted to me, and I had both new and old members saying what a good guy I was, and how I was obviously just misunderstood, and that i had helped people out, and that they wished I would come back. So I slowly came back thanks to popular demand. Assholes.
I am going to be gone for good now though. So before I go, I just want to let you all know, 99% of you are stupid as fvck. I don't mean that in the "I want to think of something mean and degrading to say" I mean that in the "those guys have always come across as quite literally being stupid as shit"
How can so many of you claim to have all the answers on working out, AAS, be SO experienced, etc. Yet you all look like shit? You all post these pictures and I am shocked. We got a bunch of fat, unhealthy, weak assholes hiding behind avatars of good looking girls, telling newbies that they need to listen to them, because they know so much.
The ONLY people I can think of off the top of my head on this entire site that look good are Marcus (obviously) and KP, who will be completely honest about eating like shit, drinking, screwing up his training, etc yet the guy is still wide as a house. The rest of you are flat out sad and pathetic. You have bodies that look like inexperienced, all natural, newbies. Not "experienced lifters with a vast knowledge of AAS, PCT and not to mention quite a few cycles under your belt".
You know that I have only been home from active duty for 9 months? In that 9 months I have dropped my bodyfat% and still gained 40 lbs of muscle? You know that in that time I got up to a 405 bench press at 201 body weight? Not to mention very close to a 600lb deadlift, when I only trained deadlift for maybe 2 or three weeks at a time, every few months? You know how much of you guys' advice I followed? None! You know what kind of crazy ass cycles I was running? Let me see, I did anadrol for about 3 weeks early on, I did one cycle of 500mg test e with 225mg tren ace, and then currently I am running test, and test only! I also don't follow you guys' shitty, generic PCT advice, and guess what? I have no hair loss, no depression, no testicular atrophy, no acne, no gyno, no loss of size or strength once off cycle. As a matter of fact, when I did that 405 bench (you know, over double bodyweight) I wasn't even on cycle. I had been off cycle for 8 weeks!
So yeah, I don't take sides. I don't let myself sink into these emotional little dramatic events, instead, I just remind people that we all need to be adult, be tolerant, and remember that we all have a right to our opinions, our views, or own sense of humor, etc. Guess that makes me the asshole.
I stick up for human rights. Guess I'm a dick.
I don't have 30k post, which is probably because I am busy doing the real shit, in real life, getting real results. Guess I'm a loser.
I tell you guys to fvck off, and actually leave, and then you all say how great I was, and how I should come back. So I do. Guess that means I'm the one with the problem?
I don't even do cardio, and have lower bodyfat than most of you. Guess I'm just lucky, huh? (couldn't be diet, training, etc all the right way)
I have been in the gym less than a year, and am bigger, stronger, and more proportionate than a majority of you. Guess my views and advice is just shit.
I have trained with, lived with, spoken to on personal levels, and learned from Professional and world champion, hall of fame powerlifters, and am now starting to become very close with several IFBB bodybuilders. Yeah, guess I don't really start to learn anything until I kiss ass in an online forum.
The number one thing that pisses me off though? The thing I just can hardly grasp about you assholes? It's so ridiculous, I am not even sure if I can describe it accurately, but I will give it a shot.
The way you all misinterpret everything. I mean, even if I am lucky enough to be quoted accurately, and even luckier still that who ever is quoting me is actually grasping what I was trying to say, they then **** it all up by jumping to ridiculous, irresponsible conclusions. Like if I said something, anything, you assholes could find away to play "connect the dots" with facts that aren't even real, ones you just made up, and turn it into something completely different.
Like with me and DSM. I am talking about Karma, and how everything happens for a reason. Why is it that he takes it upon himself to make this conversation about children being raped? HE IS THE ONE who thinks that up, type sit out, and posts it in an attempt to debunk karma. I am then patient enough to state that although I believe in Karma, that does not immediately make me an expert that can personally justify every single possible scenario of what "might happen". For the sake of argument though, I will just say that maybe the experience had long term effects on the childs views, priorities, etc. and then someday years from now because of these views, he does something great for the world. A basic "yin-yang" idea. Nothing is completely good or bad, good or bad can come from anything. So That smart ass then starts in with the whole "OH I never knew there were so many advantages to being raped as a child, I will run down to the orphanage and tell the kids the good news"
Are you kidding me? DSM, I thought you were supposed to be smart. But fail. Epic fail. Your sick ass comes up with "child rape" before anything else, and now I am the bad guy because I don't know how to properly discuss all the aspects of this child rape? Well sorry DSM, I already told you I wasn't qualified, but just to make it clear, I do not sit around thinking of the possible pro's vs cons of child rape, so I apologize if my answer wasn't better.
Or in this situation. I say flat out "I do not agree with his views. I do not find this funny." then, the first words of my quote are "ALTHOUGH I DO NOT AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAY". So what happens? You assholes start making crazy ass comparisons that my belief in basic human rights means that I must automatically agree with publishing child porn? Are you ****ing broken in the head? Are you ****ing stupid? Because you can't possibly be serious.
Oh but I forgot, lets all now quote Skyler, and give him a lesson in the constitution "freedom of speech", seeing as how he never mentioned it once.
Enjoy the forum, the ass kissing, and the bandwagons all you keyboard jockeys.
YES YOU ARE OUT!!!! *admin*
12-28-2010, 08:09 AM #37
I know you had previously mentioned you had a serious comprehension problem when it came to reading. After what you just wrote I am going to have to agree with your assessment of yourself. It has so many fallacies in I am not going to even begin to address them. As far as this quote is concerned
"The ONLY people I can think of off the top of my head on this entire site that look good are Marcus (obviously) and KP, who will be completely honest about eating like shit, drinking, screwing up his training, etc yet the guy is still wide as a house. The rest of you are flat out sad and pathetic."
If you didnt spend all day in the lounge starting threads about almost getting in fights with Soccer Moms over parking spots, you would realize there are quite a few very knowledgable, very helpful guys on this board.
And if you think we are all hiding behind girl avys then you obviously arent paying much attention. Just among the Vets and HOFers, MikeXXL, Nark, Reed, Ronnie Rowland and myself would whoop your ass on stage.
Last edited by FireGuy; 12-28-2010 at 08:21 AM.
12-28-2010, 08:15 AM #38
Here is the condensed version:
"You guys are pathetic
you stupid assholes
dumb shits in disguise
a stupid shit
99% of you are stupid as fvck
stupid as shit
you all look like shit
a bunch of fat, unhealthy, weak assholes
you are flat out sad and pathetic"
Followed by "I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I."
Thank you for all that you have done for me Mr. King.
12-28-2010, 08:33 AM #39
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Wow. That is too funny! LMAO.
Skyler, this is the internet. Relax, man.
And to add to the list of people that would dominate you on stage: Mrs. Fireguy and Mrs. Ronnie Roland
12-28-2010, 09:13 AM #40
Here's a disgusting joke....
Har Har Har Har Har Har!
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