disgusting jokes..

**stack_it** · 12-28-2010, 10:31 AM

Somebody wasn't hugged enough as a child

**DSM4Life** · 12-28-2010, 10:38 AM

Once upon a time these 2 gay guys were screwing when the doorbell rang. The one in the back said, "Don't cum without me; I'm going to go get rid of whoever this is."

The 'front' guy said he wouldn't. So, the 'back' guy comes back from answering the door to find cum shot ALL over the room, the bed, the dresser, etc.

He yelled, "I told you not to cum without me!"

The second guy said, "I didn't; I farted."

Where is my prize ?

***Admin*** · 12-28-2010, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by -Ender-

Here is the condensed version:

"You guys are pathetic
you stupid assholes
dumb shits in disguise
douche idiots
a stupid shit
Assholes
99% of you are stupid as fvck
stupid as shit
you all look like shit
a bunch of fat, unhealthy, weak assholes
you are flat out sad and pathetic"

Followed by "I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I."

Thank you for all that you have done for me Mr. King.

Thank you!!! for the short version it was a great help!

**-Ender-** · 12-28-2010, 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by *Admin*

Thank you!!! for the short version it was a great help!

anytime.

**yungone501** · 12-28-2010, 12:37 PM

As i said before in another thread that "worshiped" Skyler, "he is (or was) the most interesting man in the world!"

Damn, is the name "yungone" offending anybody here?

LMAO.

***Admin*** · 12-28-2010, 01:08 PM

It was not the fact of his offensive posts it was his direct disrespect for the authority on this board... there is a way to discuss things that you do not flame and or degrade humans... Our rules are in place for all and all are treated the same by our rules... he didn't like them and decided to break them and has received the same as anyone else that has done the same... he was warned but continued...

Originally Posted by yungone501

As i said before in another thread that "worshiped" Skyler, "he is (or was) the most interesting man in the world!"

Damn, is the name "yungone" offending anybody here?

LMAO.

as for your name I see no reason it should offend anyone or I would have asked you to change it

Good Day!

*admin*

**zimmy** · 12-28-2010, 01:15 PM

man ..why do the young guys always get so carries away over the internet?

**yungone501** · 12-28-2010, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by *Admin*

It was not the fact of his offensive posts it was his direct disrespect for the authority on this board... there is a way to discuss things that you do not flame and or degrade humans... Our rules are in place for all and all are treated the same by our rules... he didn't like them and decided to break them and has received the same as anyone else that has done the same... he was warned but continued...

as for your name I see no reason it should offend anyone or I would have asked you to change it

Good Day!

*admin*

You know, you should give out 'moderator day passes' on occasion. Let sum of us power thrusters get in here in bust some a$$. That makes for a perfect concoction: high levels of androgens and a badge....Yeah!

Who cares though admin, just doing your job. You give us all the privledge of being on here and you got these idiots that take it for granted and sh*t all over you. Most of the guys here truly appreciate what you do for us all man. Thanks!

**DSM4Life** · 12-28-2010, 03:06 PM

I didn't even read the first page i just posted my joke. Wow.

BTW, did anyone read my joke !?

**yungone501** · 12-28-2010, 03:18 PM

^^^lol

**Standby** · 12-28-2010, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

I didn't even read the first page i just posted my joke. Wow.

BTW, did anyone read my joke !?

i did! i laughed but my curiosity of what would be posted on the other subject in this thread killed the goodness of the joke

**stack_it** · 12-28-2010, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

I didn't even read the first page i just posted my joke. Wow.

BTW, did anyone read my joke !?

Yeah I read it..... It was pretty gay

**Shol'va** · 12-28-2010, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by *Admin*

It was not the fact of his offensive posts it was his direct disrespect for the authority on this board

*admin*

**Times Roman** · 12-28-2010, 10:28 PM

I think I missed it. Who got busted?

**xlxBigSexyxlx** · 12-28-2010, 10:32 PM

lol Skyler jumped off the deep end.

geez bro, its the ****ing internet... get over it.

**Times Roman** · 12-28-2010, 10:37 PM

I saw the big paragraph he wrote, just didn't have the energy to read all the way through it. yeah, I hate to say it, but I agree with you. Shouldn't take this so seriously. Just the internet. See, I could say some rotten things, like your breath stinks, and your face looks like a catchers mitt, and you can either get pissed off or you don't. Relax! Life's too short to stress over this BS.

go have yourself a beer

**Shol'va** · 12-28-2010, 11:00 PM

And your mama wears combat boots

**terraj** · 12-28-2010, 11:02 PM

How is that diet going Skyler?

haha

**Times Roman** · 12-28-2010, 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by Shol'va

And your mama wears combat boots

yeah, but she looks damm good while doing it!

**Shol'va** · 12-28-2010, 11:24 PM

**calgarian** · 12-28-2010, 11:29 PM

Originally Posted by Shol'va

i knew there as a reason i dont wear mine

**calgarian** · 12-28-2010, 11:40 PM

Originally Posted by Skyler

You guys are pathetic, and that's putting it lightly.
The fact that so many people can quote my post, as if they are going to point out my own words to use against me, or to argue with, and then continue to write about things that have nothing to do with me, my views, or my post, and somehow think they are related, is beyond, well, sad.

How many of you stupid assholes are going to talk about "Skyler's freedom of speech talk" before you actually read my post and notice that I never said one damn thing about freedom of speech?
I said "Although I do not agree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it"
Yeah, that quote has been around for a few hundred years, and it came from a time before "America" as we know it was even formed, and the person saying it, meant the same thing that I meant when I said it. Not legal rights, basic human rights. A man has a right to his opinions. A man has a right to say what he wants, to speak his mind, to state his views. People not agreeing with his views, opinions, sense of humor, etc do not justify trying to remove his basic human rights.
Again with this idea that all you internet geniuses are dumb shits in disguise, I notice that you will even make comparisons and assumptions that imply or even flat out state that I must agree with him, or support his views, even when I intentionally stated right from the start that i do not agree with him, his views, etc. just for that very reason.
I thought to myself "If I don't break this down barney style, all these douche idiots are sure to lead to all sorts of crazy conclusions".
Guess I was wrong though, because even when I do break it down barney style for you, someone how it still goes right over your heads, and the idiocracy continues.

As far as "why do I keep coming back"?
Congrats, you are also a stupid shit. I don't keep coming back. That would imply that I keep leaving, and then returning. I only "left" once. The reason why I returned just once, was because after being gone for a few days, I decided to hop back on so I could edit out pictures and videos from my old posts, when i suddenly realized that an entire thread was devoted to me, and I had both new and old members saying what a good guy I was, and how I was obviously just misunderstood, and that i had helped people out, and that they wished I would come back. So I slowly came back thanks to popular demand. Assholes.

I am going to be gone for good now though. So before I go, I just want to let you all know, 99% of you are stupid as fvck. I don't mean that in the "I want to think of something mean and degrading to say" I mean that in the "those guys have always come across as quite literally being stupid as shit"
How can so many of you claim to have all the answers on working out, AAS, be SO experienced, etc. Yet you all look like shit? You all post these pictures and I am shocked. We got a bunch of fat, unhealthy, weak assholes hiding behind avatars of good looking girls, telling newbies that they need to listen to them, because they know so much.

The ONLY people I can think of off the top of my head on this entire site that look good are Marcus (obviously) and KP, who will be completely honest about eating like shit, drinking, screwing up his training, etc yet the guy is still wide as a house. The rest of you are flat out sad and pathetic. You have bodies that look like inexperienced, all natural, newbies. Not "experienced lifters with a vast knowledge of AAS, PCT and not to mention quite a few cycles under your belt".

You know that I have only been home from active duty for 9 months? In that 9 months I have dropped my bodyfat% and still gained 40 lbs of muscle? You know that in that time I got up to a 405 bench press at 201 body weight? Not to mention very close to a 600lb deadlift, when I only trained deadlift for maybe 2 or three weeks at a time, every few months? You know how much of you guys' advice I followed? None! You know what kind of crazy ass cycles I was running? Let me see, I did anadrol for about 3 weeks early on, I did one cycle of 500mg test e with 225mg tren ace, and then currently I am running test, and test only! I also don't follow you guys' shitty, generic PCT advice, and guess what? I have no hair loss, no depression, no testicular atrophy, no acne, no gyno, no loss of size or strength once off cycle. As a matter of fact, when I did that 405 bench (you know, over double bodyweight) I wasn't even on cycle. I had been off cycle for 8 weeks!

So yeah, I don't take sides. I don't let myself sink into these emotional little dramatic events, instead, I just remind people that we all need to be adult, be tolerant, and remember that we all have a right to our opinions, our views, or own sense of humor, etc. Guess that makes me the asshole.
I stick up for human rights. Guess I'm a dick.
I don't have 30k post, which is probably because I am busy doing the real shit, in real life, getting real results. Guess I'm a loser.
I tell you guys to fvck off, and actually leave, and then you all say how great I was, and how I should come back. So I do. Guess that means I'm the one with the problem?
I don't even do cardio, and have lower bodyfat than most of you. Guess I'm just lucky, huh? (couldn't be diet, training, etc all the right way)
I have been in the gym less than a year, and am bigger, stronger, and more proportionate than a majority of you. Guess my views and advice is just shit.
I have trained with, lived with, spoken to on personal levels, and learned from Professional and world champion, hall of fame powerlifters, and am now starting to become very close with several IFBB bodybuilders. Yeah, guess I don't really start to learn anything until I kiss ass in an online forum.

The number one thing that pisses me off though? The thing I just can hardly grasp about you assholes? It's so ridiculous, I am not even sure if I can describe it accurately, but I will give it a shot.
The way you all misinterpret everything. I mean, even if I am lucky enough to be quoted accurately, and even luckier still that who ever is quoting me is actually grasping what I was trying to say, they then **** it all up by jumping to ridiculous, irresponsible conclusions. Like if I said something, anything, you assholes could find away to play "connect the dots" with facts that aren't even real, ones you just made up, and turn it into something completely different.
Like with me and DSM. I am talking about Karma, and how everything happens for a reason. Why is it that he takes it upon himself to make this conversation about children being raped? HE IS THE ONE who thinks that up, type sit out, and posts it in an attempt to debunk karma. I am then patient enough to state that although I believe in Karma, that does not immediately make me an expert that can personally justify every single possible scenario of what "might happen". For the sake of argument though, I will just say that maybe the experience had long term effects on the childs views, priorities, etc. and then someday years from now because of these views, he does something great for the world. A basic "yin-yang" idea. Nothing is completely good or bad, good or bad can come from anything. So That smart ass then starts in with the whole "OH I never knew there were so many advantages to being raped as a child, I will run down to the orphanage and tell the kids the good news"
Are you kidding me? DSM, I thought you were supposed to be smart. But fail. Epic fail. Your sick ass comes up with "child rape" before anything else, and now I am the bad guy because I don't know how to properly discuss all the aspects of this child rape? Well sorry DSM, I already told you I wasn't qualified, but just to make it clear, I do not sit around thinking of the possible pro's vs cons of child rape, so I apologize if my answer wasn't better.

Or in this situation. I say flat out "I do not agree with his views. I do not find this funny." then, the first words of my quote are "ALTHOUGH I DO NOT AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAY". So what happens? You assholes start making crazy ass comparisons that my belief in basic human rights means that I must automatically agree with publishing child porn? Are you ****ing broken in the head? Are you ****ing stupid? Because you can't possibly be serious.
Oh but I forgot, lets all now quote Skyler, and give him a lesson in the constitution "freedom of speech", seeing as how he never mentioned it once.
Idiots.

Enjoy the forum, the ass kissing, and the bandwagons all you keyboard jockeys.
I'm out!

YES YOU ARE OUT!!!! *admin*

sounds like a girl i had sex with and she think i will marry her....then she realize i will not and cry and moan like a b!tch

been there done that

***Admin*** · 12-29-2010, 01:19 AM

Originally Posted by calgarian

sounds like a girl i had sex with and she think i will marry her....then she realize i will not and cry and moan like a b!tch

been there done that

HAhAHA been there!!!

**alexISthrowed** · 12-29-2010, 02:37 AM

skyler and his girl just had a few too many beers guys.

**ranging1** · 12-29-2010, 03:28 AM

wow talk about a thread

to much testerone in this thread,

bunch of steroid junkies LOL jokes

**ReX357** · 12-29-2010, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

Here's a disgusting joke....

Machine515!

Har Har Har Har Har Har!

Everyone slept on this lol

**The Hyena** · 12-30-2010, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by ReX357

What do you call a leper in a hot tub?

Oatmeal.

His name is Stew

**MACHINE5150** · 12-30-2010, 03:03 PM

WOW!! i step away for a few days and get reamed.. I would have edited it myself but i was out of town. Sorry about the offensiveness of the jokes but as i said in the thread i titled it "disgusting jokes" not just "jokes".. i was just trying to hear some good dirty jokes, now i am being called a child molestor??? if you make a joke about a preist are you a satan worshipper?? Or if you laugh at a racist joke are you a racist?? come on man, a joke is a joke you guys need to take it easy. I did not know i was breaking any rules but i knew it was going to be somewhat offensive. My appologies to all of those who i did offend, a couple of those jokes were in bad taste, but in my defense just because you laugh at something does not mean that you condone or support it.

P.S. DSM i read your joke and thought it was hilarious..

**Friend** · 12-30-2010, 04:05 PM

Knock knock

Who's there?

Bare

Bare who?

Bare bum

**Shol'va** · 12-30-2010, 04:41 PM

What did the hooker say to the leper after she blew him... Thanks for the tip.

**Hoggage_54** · 12-30-2010, 05:43 PM

**drdeath613** · 12-30-2010, 06:08 PM

lol dsm you never fail to let us down with your dude pics and gay jokes i love you no homo

**calgarian** · 12-30-2010, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by MACHINE5150

WOW!! i step away for a few days and get reamed.. I would have edited it myself but i was out of town. Sorry about the offensiveness of the jokes but as i said in the thread i titled it "disgusting jokes" not just "jokes".. i was just trying to hear some good dirty jokes, now i am being called a child molestor??? if you make a joke about a preist are you a satan worshipper?? Or if you laugh at a racist joke are you a racist?? come on man, a joke is a joke you guys need to take it easy. I did not know i was breaking any rules but i knew it was going to be somewhat offensive. My appologies to all of those who i did offend, a couple of those jokes were in bad taste, but in my defense just because you laugh at something does not mean that you condone or support it.

P.S. DSM i read your joke and thought it was hilarious..

i could go on and on but there is no use beating the dead horse. Just be careful i will take any joke and laugh at them but children jokes.........thats all I gotta say....
u wanna know disgusting look up "anal advise" thread THAT was disgusting.....

**Shol'va** · 12-30-2010, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

i could go on and on but there is no use beating the dead horse. Just be careful i will take any joke and laugh at them but children jokes.........thats all I gotta say....
u wanna know disgusting look up "anal advise" thread THAT was disgusting.....

I put in anal vice in the advanced search and it keeps bringing me to DSM's thread.

**winston06** · 01-03-2011, 11:48 AM

hahhaha

**Times Roman** · 01-03-2011, 12:09 PM

it was St. Paddy's day at the pub, and a mate excuses to go relieve his full self in the lad's room. As he walks in, he sees this little fella at the urinal all dressed in green. He saddles up in the stall right next, and notices this little fukker is hanging on to his monster hose with both hands, barely keeping it under control. With shock, he tells the little man that is the hugest fukken dik he's ever seen! The green shrimp looks up at him and tells him it's no big deal, all leprechauns have huge peckers! The bloke proceeds to tell this midget that he would give anything to have a dik even half that big! With a grin and a wink, the little mate tells him that leprechauns have majikal powers, and he could easily grant him his very wish! The bloke, obviously interested, asks what he has to do to recieve such a gift? The leprechaun proceeds to tell him that if the bloke were to suk his dik, he would willingly grant the wish, and the bloke would be the beneficiary of a 9" rod. Disgusted, the bloke tells him to go to hell, and leaves. Moments later, the bloke returns to the scene, humbled, and asks if they could keep it just between them, since doing the deed would be but a moment in time, and a 9" tool would be forever. With a sly grin, the green half pint agreed to keep the deed a secret between the two of em. So the bloke proceeds to take the leprechaun's member in his mouth and serviced him until the leprechaun was fully satisfied. After, the half drunk bloke gleefully announced he can hardly believe he is about to get a 9" member. In turn, the green midget announced he can hardly believe that the bloke thought he was a leprechaun!!!

**insert10p** · 01-03-2011, 12:16 PM

like this one

why do women have legs?
so they wont leave a trail like a slug

**Times Roman** · 01-03-2011, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by insert10p

like this one

why do women have legs?
so they wont leave a trail like a slug

yeah yeah yeah... that's 30 years old... what else ya got?

**MACHINE5150** · 01-03-2011, 02:28 PM

A gynaecologist examines a lesbian and remarked "Madam that is the cleanest vagina I have ever seen"
She replied "Thank you, I have a woman in twice a week !"

What do 9 out of ten people like??
gang rape

and an old favorite:

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fvck her."