relationship advice (VERY LONG)

[want2bulk]

Yes this, this is mint... Bro she still cares, Of course she is thinking about you!!!! Epecially if a girl goes up to her, and mentions your name!!! hehe... Imagine if you were in her shoes, One of her guy friends comes up to you at work and mentioned your girl to you, with the thoughts going thru your head, wouldn't you be pissed? I would, I would of did the same thing bro... She still cares, and there are still feelings, it's probally still racking her head what happened, but i would look forward to hearing from her soon, if not tonight...

You're right man. If I were in her shoes, I'd be pretty ticked off. I always thought she had to be thinking of me ... we've spent every night in bed together for the past year, minus the two months we were broken up. I hope she's thinking about what I'm doing and I hope she realizes I was different, and holy sh!t, I was suffering from depression. It changes you! I hope to God that I do hear from her soon. I just worry cuz when my friend told her to call me and block her # or do whatever she needed to do, she just said that she can't. It just doesn't sound promising, but if you're right, I'll be the happiest guy in the world. I doubt she's gonna call tonight cuz she got off work an hour and a half ago ... ****.

As for your girl man, that is some messed up sh!t. I dissed on my ex's friends and said I'd kick their ass and blah blah blah. She didn't like it but she at least talked to me about it. You're probably doing the right thing by letting her go. She'll party it up with these guys and realize that it's not going to get her anywhere in life. She's just in that party phase, it seems like. She'll go out and have fun smoking/drinking or whatever for a little while and then realize she screwed up. She's going to realize that you guys had something that can last forver ... LOVE! You can't hang out with punk ass wanna be gangsters and party for the rest of your life. Nothing is wrong with what you did .... she is at fault and will probably be back, or at the very least, regret screwing it up with you.

[monster.]

You're right man. If I were in her shoes, I'd be pretty ticked off. I always thought she had to be thinking of me ... we've spent every night in bed together for the past year, minus the two months we were broken up. I hope she's thinking about what I'm doing and I hope she realizes I was different, and holy sh!t, I was suffering from depression. It changes you! I hope to God that I do hear from her soon. I just worry cuz when my friend told her to call me and block her # or do whatever she needed to do, she just said that she can't. It just doesn't sound promising, but if you're right, I'll be the happiest guy in the world. I doubt she's gonna call tonight cuz she got off work an hour and a half ago ... ****.

Yea, when your friend said it doesn't sound good, depending on how she explained it could mean alot of things.. In my opinion by her saying I can't call him either means, she's still upset from what happened, or she's trying not to sound like she's still got a ton of feelings for you in front of another girl... girls are different from guys in how they control emotions and she probally was pissed and didn't want to even face your friend (which is how i would imagine it) and she wasn't going to give your friend any info on whats going on... By her reaction i can tell she still cares, she is still upset though... When you guys talk, just be honest bro, talk to her and try to comfort her and things will work out... In time the situation will get alot easier to deal with...

[spywizard]

This girl that likes you like crazy.... tell her the story... she'll dig you even more for it... and will wait...... until you figure it out........

Thanks for the input guys, and sorry my post was so long but I wanted to give the whole story. I've made mistakes just with starting arguments and getting jealous at times. My jealousy was related to her cheating on me before. The trust was earned back over time. I was 100% faithful to her while we were committed. She was what I looked forward to every single day. She started arguments and got jealous as well. She cheated. She slapped me and I pushed her. I was obviously wrong for pushing her and I obviously feel like crap and am actively trying to resolve the issues within myself. The most important thing in a relationship is TRUST. I do feel like she was able to trust me all the time. I wouldn't even dream of cheating on this girl. And you're right bro, most guys wouldn't go through what I did. Most guys would be like screw her, move on, after they were cheated on and left for another guy. I tried to move on but we started talking again and that old flame came back. I just took it slow with her and eventually the trust came back ... it was kinda hurt again though when we broke up and she had sex just two days later. I've gone through my "hoe" days or whatever so I've met a LOT of girls. Something about this one just seems different though. Our personalities match so **** well, it's unreal to me. We have some awesome times together and can't get enough of each other sometimes. I didn't change myself for her this last time, I changed myself because of what I was feeling inside. I could find another girl to treat me right but something keeps dragging me back to this one. I know of one girl who is nice as hell and wants me like crazy, but I just can't do it man ... I just can't do it.

[want2bulk]

Yea, when your friend said it doesn't sound good, depending on how she explained it could mean alot of things.. In my opinion by her saying I can't call him either means, she's still upset from what happened, or she's trying not to sound like she's still got a ton of feelings for you in front of another girl... girls are different from guys in how they control emotions and she probally was pissed and didn't want to even face your friend (which is how i would imagine it) and she wasn't going to give your friend any info on whats going on... By her reaction i can tell she still cares, she is still upset though... When you guys talk, just be honest bro, talk to her and try to comfort her and things will work out... In time the situation will get alot easier to deal with...

Another thing that's been on my mind is the fact that my ex said "Oh God." after my friend told her that I was on anti-depressants and getting counseling. To me, that just makes it sound like she feels I'm stupid or somethin ... I dunno. I hope she still cares because I obviously do. She may be upset about what happened and so am I ... I feel horrible because I can't even explain myself or show her that I'm changing back to the real me. If we ever get a chance to talk, hopefully the words will come out right.

And Spywizard, you're right ... this other girl seems to dig me a lot after I've told her the whole story and so do a couple others. They see what kind of guy I truly am and can't believe some of things I did for her. They see how much I can care about someone and that I'd be willing to do anything to save a meaningful relationship.

[Strut99GT]

Guys - wow, what to say. This thread is sort of similar to what's going on in my life right now. want2bulk - listen to your friends, man. That's all I can tell you.
I don't want to type out another novel like you did (haha) but basically I broke up with a 7-year girlfriend last year, and met a new girl a few months later who had also just broken up with her ex. We hit it off big-time, but I wasn't ready for a relationship. The long and short of it is that I finally ended up telling her that I wanted a relationship with her, and since then she's been back and forth about whether or not she wants to be with me or her ex. She hasn't done anything with any other guys in a long time (since I told her I wanted a relationship with her), and she wants to get over her ex, but is just having a hard time doing so. Whereas my ex moved to another country, she ends up having to see hers almost daily due due to various circumstances. I haven't talked to her in a while, though, because I'm finally taking the advice that my friends have been giving me for a couple months now and leaving it alone. If she comes around, good for me, otherwise, it's not worth it. I feel your pain though, bro, BIG-TIME. It's very hard to not just stop by and see how they are doing. You are so curious and you just want to know that they are thinking about you so that it gives you some sort of validation that your feelings meant something to them...
PM me if you want to talk! I'm going through almost the exact same thing. Your situation is definitely more scandalous, though, because there's no cheating involved with my situation...

[want2bulk]

Guys - wow, what to say. This thread is sort of similar to what's going on in my life right now. want2bulk - listen to your friends, man. That's all I can tell you.
I don't want to type out another novel like you did (haha) but basically I broke up with a 7-year girlfriend last year, and met a new girl a few months later who had also just broken up with her ex. We hit it off big-time, but I wasn't ready for a relationship. The long and short of it is that I finally ended up telling her that I wanted a relationship with her, and since then she's been back and forth about whether or not she wants to be with me or her ex. She hasn't done anything with any other guys in a long time (since I told her I wanted a relationship with her), and she wants to get over her ex, but is just having a hard time doing so. Whereas my ex moved to another country, she ends up having to see hers almost daily due due to various circumstances. I haven't talked to her in a while, though, because I'm finally taking the advice that my friends have been giving me for a couple months now and leaving it alone. If she comes around, good for me, otherwise, it's not worth it. I feel your pain though, bro, BIG-TIME. It's very hard to not just stop by and see how they are doing. You are so curious and you just want to know that they are thinking about you so that it gives you some sort of validation that your feelings meant something to them...
PM me if you want to talk! I'm going through almost the exact same thing. Your situation is definitely more scandalous, though, because there's no cheating involved with my situation...

It sounds like you've got it pretty bad too man. It definitely sucks and is pretty hard to deal with sometimes. Even if I try to stay busy, she's on my mind. It doesn't matter what I'm doing ... she keeps popping into my head. I know I've only known my girl for two years but we got so close, I felt like I've known her for much longer. I can't imagine your pain after a 7-year breakup. Maybe this new girl will come back around ... sometimes out with the old and in with the new is a good saying. I personally hate giving up on something that I've put a lot of time and effort into. My friend did give my EX some pictures from me on Sunday night and they were back in my mailbox the next day. I guess this means we're definitely done ... at least for a while. It's hard to say because the last time we broke up she told me she didn't need me and that she didn't know if she loved me anymore. She hooked up with two other guys pretty quickly and always treated me like crap if we talked. It's too hard to tell, so as hard as it's going to be, I have to walk down the lonely road and hopefully someone picks me up along the way.