I told my doctor I was on steroids by accident

[Fluidic Kimbo]

I had to google it elsewhere because apparently a few fonts here didn't take it seriously.

This was an answer:

"There is a doctor patient confidentially code that doctors are supposed to abide by and therefore I believe if he did it wouldn’t be able to be used against you. I am not sure on that aspect but as the patient confidentiality I can tell you it exists and all medical professionals are bound by it. Even if you committed murder for instance your therapist could not turn you in as they are sworn to uphold this code. If you planned on committing a crime or murder in the future and told them that is a different story. You can be arrested for that and there is no violation committed by the medical professional."

I'm on the NHS in Europe too so I get everything for free and can tell my doctor (almost) anything.

Like just last year I caught syphilis, and my doctor identified juvenile DNA meshed to the syphilic pathogen. He asked me in his office:

You understand that I'm a doctor and that I am obligated to report some things to the authorities, but... it seems you could only have gotten this infection from molesting a child

I went bright red in the face -- naturally -- and I was stuttering and stammering, until he interjected with:

unless you could account for the DNA, perhaps you share a sink or bathing area with a niece or nephew. . . ?

I blurted out, 'YES! My nephew left his toothbrush in my bathroom'. That was enough to stop my doctor going any further with it -- I knew he didn't want the scandal in his clinic.

Nobody ever found out about what I did with the boys behind the lockers in the basement, and thankfully I made my way to Germany to be treated as a 'virtuous paedophile'. My life is on the straight and narrow now, I'm free and happy. I'm getting married next year.

So here's my advice for you:
Tell the doctor that you molested a child who was being breastfed by a mother who took steroids . He won't look any further into it.

[TheDreamer]

I
Tell the doctor that you molested a child who was being breastfed by a mother who took steroids. He won't look any further into it.

At first I really thought you were serious. Wow.
Thanks for taking the time anyways.