Calling all BOUNCERS!!

**GQ-Bouncer** · 03-02-2006, 01:40 PM

how's the job going slightly?

**SlightlySt00pid** · 03-02-2006, 02:21 PM

Check out my last post, that was after my first night (even tho it was just orientation), i go in again tonight to start shadowing, and i get cut loose on saturday night. But so far so good, im so happy i decided to take this job!

**GQ-Bouncer** · 03-02-2006, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by SlightlySt00pid

Check out my last post, that was after my first night (even tho it was just orientation), i go in again tonight to start shadowing, and i get cut loose on saturday night. But so far so good, im so happy i decided to take this job!

for sure brutha, i read your last post, b4 my follow up post -

tell me how it is tonight, people will call you "the new guy" and try to poke fun at you, make sure to look at them like your going to kill them, and then be friendly

**SlightlySt00pid** · 03-03-2006, 11:05 AM

Oh man, so my my job is the fvcking shizznitell bam snizzle! I was sitting there, watching three girls make out with eachother, then take turns straddling and grinding eachother, when it hit me - I'm getting PAID for this! lol There were more than a few girls flirting with me and even a few that came up and basically tried to used me as a stripper pole (i just stood there while they danced up on me) but ive got a fiancee so i didnt let that shit fly. Believe me, it was very flattering but my fiancee would put any of those drunk bitches to shame. So I got to kick out my first guest, I caught this motherfvcker going into the womens restroom, so i opened the door and yanked him out, asked him what the fvck he sthought he was doing, and he started complaining about the line for the guys room being too long. I say tough titty, stand in line like everyone else and if i catch ya goin in the womens room again im not gonna be so nice. So he stands in line and I go back to the lounge area to watch my post. A minute later I look over and see the dude standing in line facing the wall but looking back at me. I think, theres no way hes doing what I think hes doing, so I walk over and as i'm walking by him he slowly turns his body so his back is still turned to me, so I grab him by the shoulder and spin him around (which could have been a horrible mistake, but luckily he was able to finish or pinch it off) I say 'are you fvcking kidding me??" and grab him by the collar and waistband and haul his ass out the back door, yelling at him like I do my dog when she pisses on the carpet lol later on that night the motherfvcker manages to get back in through the front and when I spot him hes smoking a cigarette (theres no smoking inside) I wanted to grab it and put it out on his nutsack, but I just grabed him and threw him out on his ass. So, that was fun, I can tell this is going to be an exciting job, I could probably make a post fter every shift and guaruntee something interesting happened that night. I'll let ya know how it goes tonight

**MotoXracer** · 03-03-2006, 12:26 PM

Wait a minute, your 6'5 and 175 pounds and your a bouncer? I always thought they wanted bouncers to be bigger guys?

**GQ-Bouncer** · 03-03-2006, 05:33 PM

great stuff slightly, i like what i'm hearing!

(please use paragraphs in your posts, it's a bit hard to read)

**SlightlySt00pid** · 03-03-2006, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by MotoXracer

Wait a minute, your 6'5 and 175 pounds and your a bouncer? I always thought they wanted bouncers to be bigger guys?

I need to update my profile, im about 200 now, 6% bf

Sorry bout that GQ, im working the door tonight, so if anything goes down worth writing about ill be sure to use proper paragraph format to make it easier on the eyes

**ndmand4u** · 03-07-2006, 06:42 AM

It is a good thing that you do not drink. If you did, it would definetly affect your workouts and body. Let us know if you have any wild events take place at the bar.

**SlightlySt00pid** · 03-07-2006, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by ndmand4u

It is a good thing that you do not drink. If you did, it would definetly affect your workouts and body. Let us know if you have any wild events take place at the bar.

Yeah for sure, not to mention that alcohol has a way of fvcking up everything else in my life, so i just decided that it isn't worth it. I'm now 6 months sober and have never felt better in my life, plus I've done more for myself in the last 6 months than the whole rest of my life. Sure, I got a late start, but at least I have a second chance.

Crazy sheit happens every night it seems, I'm going to start a new thread and just make a post after every shift I work telling about all the wacky stuff that took place that night lol drunk people are stupid, but entertaining...

**ndmand4u** · 03-08-2006, 08:37 PM

did you want to be a bouncer before you did your cycle or is this just something you thought you would do since you are so much bigger now?

**GQ-Bouncer** · 03-08-2006, 09:21 PM

good stuff, remember man

run that fvckin nightclub like a god dam prison

**SlightlySt00pid** · 03-08-2006, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by ndmand4u

did you want to be a bouncer before you did your cycle or is this just something you thought you would do since you are so much bigger now?

Definately never crossed my mind before I got bigger. Actually, the way it happened, I was in the club one night and I looked around and it hit me - im the biggest dude in the place lol plus, I could handle myself alright before when I was 175, so I knew that wouldnt be a problem. So I was talking to the doorman about it and he said I should come down and talk to the owner and boom, I got the job.

**Jizzle** · 03-08-2006, 10:23 PM

yo i've been bouncing at a club for two years and the most important thing to do is not hit someone unless they hit you first. That way when the police get there and you both are bleeding than its your word against his and they dont have anything on you. I have seen three of my co-workers go to jail already for assault after beating the s*** out of some drunkin idiots who probly started the fights in the first place...I dunno how many fights happen at your club but they happen at mine all the time

**MeanMachine2000** · 03-08-2006, 10:28 PM

Originally Posted by GQ-Bouncer

good stuff, remember man

run that fvckin nightclub like a god dam prison

Good advice

**GQ-Bouncer** · 03-08-2006, 10:46 PM

Originally Posted by Jizzle

yo i've been bouncing at a club for two years and the most important thing to do is not hit someone unless they hit you first. That way when the police get there and you both are bleeding than its your word against his and they dont have anything on you. I have seen three of my co-workers go to jail already for assault after beating the s*** out of some drunkin idiots who probly started the fights in the first place...I dunno how many fights happen at your club but they happen at mine all the time

I advise against that

make sure your door crew is TIGHT, remember its your sober witness statements against there's

if it gets too out of hand, make sure you keep a cheap knife on hand to plant on the fvcker

**USfighterFC** · 03-09-2006, 02:07 AM

Originally Posted by GQ-Bouncer

I advise against that

make sure your door crew is TIGHT, remember its your sober witness statements against there's

if it gets too out of hand, make sure you keep a cheap knife on hand to plant on the fvcker

Yeah then he goes to jail for weapons possession or conce****g a weapon....those can put you away for some time.

**BOUNCER** · 03-09-2006, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by GQ-Bouncer

I advise against that........ make sure you keep a cheap knife on hand to plant on the fvcker

Your are kidding, right?.

**bigbouncinballs** · 03-09-2006, 08:57 AM

careful with the throwing... last guy i threw out hit the second door so hard he shit himself! how do i know this? being drunk, he thought it a great idea to hide his embarassment by digging his hand in the back of his pants and taunting the other security with a handful of fingerdoo. luckily i had been forced inside by the owner cuz my temper gets outta control... wouldnt wanna have to deal with that guy.
anyway, yeah, dont throw em too hard

**NotSmall** · 03-09-2006, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by BOUNCER

Your are kidding, right?.

He comes out with shite like that regularly.

**AnatomicallyBlessed** · 03-09-2006, 05:59 PM

when i applied to work at a club downtown, i told the manager i was currently bouncing at a college bar. he says, we don't have bouncers here. we have security. i said, hey, works for me, lol.

they were ready to hire me for mardi gras day, but i never got back with them. i like working the college bar scene. lots of hotties and right around the corner from my apt.

**GQ-Bouncer** · 03-10-2006, 01:41 AM

nope not kidding, none of my staff are going to jail

**BOUNCER** · 03-10-2006, 02:18 AM

GQ let us get this straight. Your staff carry cheap knives to "plant on someone"?.

I'm honestly not calling you a lier, but I find this incredible.

**GQ-Bouncer** · 03-10-2006, 02:42 AM

Originally Posted by BOUNCER

GQ let us get this straight. Your staff carry cheap knives to "plant on someone"?.

I'm honestly not calling you a liar, but I find this incredible.

no no, we just have one in the staff washroom - more of an insurance policy than anything

it's honestly not as sinnacle as it sounds

**MotoXracer** · 03-10-2006, 10:32 AM

How exactly are you going to plant a knife on some one? Have you actually thought that through? If the guy says you planted it, detectives are going to question all of you. What hand was it in? What pocket did he have it in? Did you see it? How did you know he had it? Why are your finger prints on it? On and on. It's like that old joke about the 4 student's that tell the professor that they got a flat tire and couldn't make the exam and then the professor gives them a make up exam with one question, "which tire?"

**SlightlySt00pid** · 03-10-2006, 10:51 PM

Originally Posted by MotoXracer

How exactly are you going to plant a knife on some one? Have you actually thought that through? If the guy says you planted it, detectives are going to question all of you. What hand was it in? What pocket did he have it in? Did you see it? How did you know he had it? Why are your finger prints on it? On and on. It's like that old joke about the 4 student's that tell the professor that they got a flat tire and couldn't make the exam and then the professor gives them a make up exam with one question, "which tire?"

That's not a very funny joke.

**T3/T4 GSR** · 03-10-2006, 11:18 PM

Originally Posted by MotoXracer

Wait a minute, your 6'5 and 175 pounds and your a bouncer? I always thought they wanted bouncers to be bigger guys?

You don't really have to be huge to be a bouncer. Just have to know how to use what you got and be stronger than most people. I know plenty of guys that are bouncers that are far from huge but will kick the shit out of most "big" guys.

**SlightlySt00pid** · 03-11-2006, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

You don't really have to be huge to be a bouncer. Just have to know how to use what you got and be stronger than most people. I know plenty of guys that are bouncers that are far from huge but will kick the shit out of most "big" guys.

Very true. One of the guys I work with, no bigger than 5'9" 160, ex-military (not sure what branch) he could tie my or any big dudes ass up like a pretzel before they knew what the hell hit em. Its not about who can knock the other dude out (although if a guy pisses me off enough ill throw a blow to his head when no ones lookin

its about subduing the guy before he has the chance to knock YOU out.