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  1. #1
    slob is offline Member
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    Arrow another chick problem thread

    maybe we should have a chick problem forum??
    anyway here's the problem:
    I've been with my gf for about 2 months now and it was going great guns for the first 6 or so weeks but the past 2 weeks I've really started feeling unhappy with her. I've never fallen for a girl like I have with her. She's nice but I am getting a bad impression recently, she doesn't seem interested. She often says that she is 'just not feeling good' and she has cancelled a few evenings I had planned with her. She doesn't display the same urge to screw me that she used to.Our sex life is practically non-existant at the moment. This really gives me the shits because I have been played in the past and I don't want it to happen again.
    I want to tell her how I feel but if I try to do that, she get's shitty and then so do I.
    Bottom line - I am defenitely not happy. I promised myself that I wouldn't be f*cked around again but I feel as though that's what she is doing.
    I would really hate to be wrong because she has been real nice to me before this.
    Can anyone give some input? I'm keen to see what the female members have to say

  2. #2
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    maybe u moved to fast and feelings developed at a speed neither of you was comfortable with - or at least she wasn't.

    She has feelings for you, but maybe they are not where she thinks they should be and she can tell your really into her.

    If your not happy though hun - move on

  3. #3
    perfectbeast2001's Avatar
    perfectbeast2001 is offline "king of free stuff" / Retired
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    I would ask her this stuff man. maybe she has issues that are not to do with you. Or maybe she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Either way you have a right to know so that your not wasting time when you could be out looking for a new chick!!

  4. #4
    Mesomorphyl's Avatar
    Mesomorphyl is offline Smart Ass Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by slob
    maybe we should have a chick problem forum??
    Or a I have a vagina instead of a penis and dont know how to be a man forum...

  5. #5
    AleX-69's Avatar
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    If sex life is non existend in a relationship , the relationship will go down rather quickly. Some of my close friends had exactly the same thing happen to them.

    I think if a women distances herself form a man and does not want to have sex anymore she already "closed" the relationship, ... maybe she is affraid to tell you whats up and wants you to find out for yourself..

  6. #6
    Receiver84's Avatar
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    I agree with Alex. It's only a 2 month relationship which may seem like a lot to the guy falling in love but it's really not. Bag it while you can and limit the emotional damage.

  7. #7
    collar's Avatar
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    i dont want to be negative but i do have to say i think she might be over this relationship.
    Possibly there is other interest maybe, ofcourse there could be no one else she just is not interested anymore.
    But i would say sit her down and really have the full talk with her and see where you are both at..
    communication is the best thing mate, you will both know whats going on.

  8. #8
    slob is offline Member
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    yeh good idea.
    She said she would come over tommorrow. I will put it to her then and see what happens. Either way I am sure it's for the best.

  9. #9
    collar's Avatar
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    yep i think it is man and good luck with it all .
    and keep us informed and dont weaken stand your ground but be understanding.
    good luck.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mesomorphyl
    Or a I have a vagina instead of a penis and dont know how to be a man forum...
    Hah! Dude I guess that's why you're a smart ass member. Funny $hit

  11. #11
    dedic8ed1's Avatar
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    Never take a relationship too seriously if she likes you she'll let you know and if she doesn't she'll let you know like she's doing now.This is basically her way of brushing you off without being rude she probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings but she don't know how to tell you she's not interested longterm,I wouldn't push up to hard give her space and see what happens,but leave her alone for now

  12. #12
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    I learned the hard way bro, 4 yrs and engagement later. If the sex is dying in 6 weeks, get the hell out now.

    Regardless of what reason you are being given, there are usually deeper seated issues..

  13. #13
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    She's giving you hints; that a lot of people don't pick up on. Not that your naive and I'm not saying your not smart...but, people want to stay in denial hoping for a change for the better.

    It really hasn't been that long...so, basically I see it as an infatuation. Sweetie, you need to sever the ties. I agree with D3.......there are more issues there...believe..I'm a female...I have done this before.
    Just wasn't interested in a guy after so many weeks...and my way for him to cut it off with me...is to play it cool...like I'm busy...or sick...or ...well whatever! This way the relationship fizzles out, and no one really takes responsibility for ending it.

    Hugs!
    Someone's Little Pumpkie

  14. #14
    dedic8ed1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkvelvet
    She's giving you hints; that a lot of people don't pick up on. Not that your naive and I'm not saying your not smart...but, people want to stay in denial hoping for a change for the better.

    It really hasn't been that long...so, basically I see it as an infatuation. Sweetie, you need to sever the ties. I agree with D3.......there are more issues there...believe..I'm a female...I have done this before.
    Just wasn't interested in a guy after so many weeks...and my way for him to cut it off with me...is to play it cool...like I'm busy...or sick...or ...well whatever! This way the relationship fizzles out, and no one really takes responsibility for ending it.

    Hugs!
    How you gonna be like "Hugs" that was sweet Pinky.
    Sounds like the boys got a case of puppy love he'll be cool,

  15. #15
    slob is offline Member
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    Just wasn't interested in a guy after so many weeks...and my way for him to cut it off with me...is to play it cool...like I'm busy...or sick...or ...well whatever! This way the relationship fizzles out, and no one really takes responsibility for ending it.
    that was my initial impression but she went on about how much she loved me etc. I do realise it does not sound good from what I have typed. Maybe I have made it sound worse than it really is, maybe not. Time shall tell.
    Either way I am pretty sure I will live to fight another day.

  16. #16
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    If I were you, I'd sit down and have a long talk about how you, and how she feels. There's probably more going on than you know, and I don't mean her screwing around on you. She's probably been hurt before, just like you, and she may be worried it's gonna happen again. So have a talk with her before you make any decisions.

  17. #17
    Timm1704's Avatar
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    in my experience, i predict that your relationship is over, for definate. you could: sit down and talk things through, which i believe will still result in a break-up. or, you could: turn the bastard switch into the 'ON' position, try and irradicate your feelings for now (they may catch up with you later) and just dump her. then, if she gets upset, talk things through. if she doesnt seem that bothered, walk away, and surround yourself with horny women

  18. #18
    Bojangles69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slob
    maybe we should have a chick problem forum??
    anyway here's the problem:
    I've been with my gf for about 2 months now and it was going great guns for the first 6 or so weeks but the past 2 weeks I've really started feeling unhappy with her. I've never fallen for a girl like I have with her. She's nice but I am getting a bad impression recently, she doesn't seem interested. She often says that she is 'just not feeling good' and she has cancelled a few evenings I had planned with her. She doesn't display the same urge to screw me that she used to.Our sex life is practically non-existant at the moment. This really gives me the shits because I have been played in the past and I don't want it to happen again.
    I want to tell her how I feel but if I try to do that, she get's shitty and then so do I.
    Bottom line - I am defenitely not happy. I promised myself that I wouldn't be f*cked around again but I feel as though that's what she is doing.
    I would really hate to be wrong because she has been real nice to me before this.
    Can anyone give some input? I'm keen to see what the female members have to say
    So lets get something straight, you never fell for someone like you have her?
    Your not happy with her because its been 2 WHOLE months and the sex is flaking. Hmm.. what else? Your afraid to get played and your definently not happy.
    Dude this is something i tell to A LOT of people when they say "i'm afraid to talk to her about things".
    You have to understand how something like that is formed.
    First, in any healthy relationship theres a thing called communication. It exists in ANY healthy relationship. The 2 partners ALWAYS know they can discuss matters with each other no matter how sensitive a topic it may be.
    I would have pulled out much sooner had i sensed those were the dynamics i was getting myself into with this chick. A relationship that condones a degree of secrecy towards discusing something TOTALLY APPROPRIATE is nothing short as fake and shisty in my opinion.
    "Im afraid to discus certain things"
    Is a way basically of saying "i care more than she does and i dont want to give her a reason to dump me (which you may feel shes already looking for)"
    So you refuse to discuss things to keep shit safe, to perpetuate any lingering denial that you have towards the relationship being tainted.
    You realize "discusing things" actually = fast forward. And for some odd reason youd rather live in a confused present than move towards a more honest future.
    Who knows? Maybe shes losing attraction for you in the first place because your the kind of guys whos afraid to discuss things, because you dont like to take risks, because your an approval seeker (seeking to US for approval on YOUR relatioship problems) Maybe if you look at it in a more realisitc way, ALL these questions your asking us is only allowing you to further be the person shes coming to discover as not really the assertive guy she was looking for.

    Maybe shes not the important one here. Maybe its you. Maybe this is something you'll have to deal with again in the future because your that kind of guys whos afraid to "discuss things".. women love a guy whos riddled with fear towards lifes most simplest decisions.

  19. #19
    manc's Avatar
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    step up and tell her its over,she obviously aint gonna tell ya...move on..
    its sh*t but its the truth...you need to get out on the hunt asap.
    good luck

  20. #20
    Mizfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bojangles69
    So lets get something straight, you never fell for someone like you have her?
    Your not happy with her because its been 2 WHOLE months and the sex is flaking. Hmm.. what else? Your afraid to get played and your definently not happy.
    Dude this is something i tell to A LOT of people when they say "i'm afraid to talk to her about things".
    You have to understand how something like that is formed.
    First, in any healthy relationship theres a thing called communication. It exists in ANY healthy relationship. The 2 partners ALWAYS know they can discuss matters with each other no matter how sensitive a topic it may be.
    I would have pulled out much sooner had i sensed those were the dynamics i was getting myself into with this chick. A relationship that condones a degree of secrecy towards discusing something TOTALLY APPROPRIATE is nothing short as fake and shisty in my opinion.
    "Im afraid to discus certain things"
    Is a way basically of saying "i care more than she does and i dont want to give her a reason to dump me (which you may feel shes already looking for)"
    So you refuse to discuss things to keep shit safe, to perpetuate any lingering denial that you have towards the relationship being tainted.
    You realize "discusing things" actually = fast forward. And for some odd reason youd rather live in a confused present than move towards a more honest future.
    Who knows? Maybe shes losing attraction for you in the first place because your the kind of guys whos afraid to discuss things, because you dont like to take risks, because your an approval seeker (seeking to US for approval on YOUR relatioship problems) Maybe if you look at it in a more realisitc way, ALL these questions your asking us is only allowing you to further be the person shes coming to discover as not really the assertive guy she was looking for.

    Maybe shes not the important one here. Maybe its you. Maybe this is something you'll have to deal with again in the future because your that kind of guys whos afraid to "discuss things".. women love a guy whos riddled with fear towards lifes most simplest decisions.
    Well put

  21. #21
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    You knew what to do before you posted this. Man up and get er done. Sucks though bro, I know how it feels to really like the image of someone and think it could be awesome but she doesn't want to give it the chance.

  22. #22
    Beefyman is offline Banned
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    just act like a dick... what alot of members told my in my post

  23. #23
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    treat women like the stock market. once the price starts falling sell that bitch fast. lol. jk

    just dont put too much emotion into the relationship and like other members said back off for now. Maybe start seeing some other women, sometimes that even makes her want you back b/c your "in demand".

  24. #24
    spound's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timm1704
    in my experience, i predict that your relationship is over, for definate. you could: sit down and talk things through, which i believe will still result in a break-up. or, you could: turn the bastard switch into the 'ON' position, try and irradicate your feelings for now (they may catch up with you later) and just dump her. then, if she gets upset, talk things through. if she doesnt seem that bothered, walk away, and surround yourself with horny women
    BINGO!! Perfect advice right there, I would recommend turning on the Bastard switch though and seeing how she reacts if you kinda dump her, if she doesnt give a shit...move on. Or just quite calling her, if she keeps calling then maybe tlak abotu it then, otherwise IMO its too early to have these "serious" conversations, you are still feeling each other out, its not like either of you is going to be that comfortable yet.

  25. #25
    Pinkvelvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timm1704
    in my experience, i predict that your relationship is over, for definate. you could: sit down and talk things through, which i believe will still result in a break-up. or, you could: turn the bastard switch into the 'ON' position, try and irradicate your feelings for now (they may catch up with you later) and just dump her. then, if she gets upset, talk things through. if she doesnt seem that bothered, walk away, and surround yourself with horny women
    HELLO!!!!

    Someone's Little Pumpkie

  26. #26
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    Tim and Spound got it right. You need to turn the "asshole" level up a couple of notches and play hard. Tell her you think it's time you guys start seeing other people.

    After you tell her that, you'll need to play off her responses:

    If she seems to be ok with it, you've managed to save face and hurt later on down the road when she breaks it off.

    If she seems upset, and tells you she doesn't want to break up, then you can work things out. This course usually is met with a couple days of "make-up sex".

    1buffsob

  27. #27
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    Send her some rosses to her work and wait for an call. After that take her to dinner at night and let her know how you feel with some really good SEX

  28. #28
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    Yeh the asshole switch is something imo he should have turned on earlier which is why i dont think it going to work. If he starts acting like a jerk off shes not going to think "this guy isnt as soft as thought he was, damn its so attractive how he has standards now" but most likey she will intepret it as him just being bitter and mad that shes acting distant.
    Theres no harm in trying but the best thing imo would be to just next her ass and start with a new clean slate.
    If you think about it, would you even want a chick that you have to manipulate to get interested in you? I mean what kind of ultimate satisfaction would you get even if it did work? Great you treat her like an asshole and chances are since your not congruent with that attitude you will miscalibrate and blow it. Even if she did come back to me at that point it would be a game and no longer a relationship (which is perfectly fine) But being as though you have such intense feeling for the chick the best thing you can do for yourself is drop her or try to work things out, how do you know when to drop her? The minute she starts playing with your head.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bojangles69
    how do you know when to drop her? The minute she starts playing with your head.
    That is the nail hit straight on the head. I live by that rule.

  30. #30
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    ima go w/ the Shard of Glass method

  31. #31
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    Bojangles got it right.

    I would just try to distance yourself from her and see if that makes her want you more. Find other things to do and keep occupied. Don't be a dick with her, just show her you are not pussywhipped and have a life other than with her, she will either stay distant or come around
    either way, you will be better off

  32. #32
    DSM4Life's Avatar
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    I hate to downplay your feelings but dude grow up. It was only two months. I just broke up with my girl after 3 years, trying giving that a shot. Will make your setup feel a walk in the park.

  33. #33
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    I agree with Bojan 100%!! (AS USUAL)

  34. #34
    collar's Avatar
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    i just believe you should sit her down have a chat and see where shes at.
    Then if its not going well and shes not interested you just end it.
    no need to play games act like a bastard and distance yourself, you just complicate the situation and then you will start blaming yourself.

    good luck.

  35. #35
    DSM4Life's Avatar
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    I totally disagree with the @$$hole move. I know a lot of guys say, "Hey these girls need to be treated like crap." but do not listen. Treat women the way YOU think they should be treated and when you find the right one that respects that you both can live out a very happy life together.

    Don't let others change you.

  36. #36
    slob is offline Member
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    I think maybe I didn't explain it properly. I have no problem discussing things with her, she just usually ends up getting shitty, whether that's because she doesn't understand why I'm talking to her or for some other reason, I do not know.
    On another note I am not seeking anyone's approval, I just want advice that's all. Sometimes an outsider's perspective is what's needed to help see the forest through the trees!

  37. #37
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    fella if she gets shitty with you for discussing something that is, definately, essential, then she is blatantly not worth your time, effort, or emotions. tell yourself its over now, it will sink in sooner rather than later, then discus things with her when its the right time (well, ASAP really)

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by slob
    I think maybe I didn't explain it properly. I have no problem discussing things with her, she just usually ends up getting shitty, whether that's because she doesn't understand why I'm talking to her or for some other reason, I do not know.
    On another note I am not seeking anyone's approval, I just want advice that's all. Sometimes an outsider's perspective is what's needed to help see the forest through the trees!
    If you cannot communicate with her 100% how you feel then do yourself a favor and move on.

  39. #39
    eightball17 is offline Associate Member
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    within the first 2 months that my girl and I were together, i couldn't even come close to the number of times we had sex and are pretty much still that way

  40. #40
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    all i paid attention to is "No Sex". Thats just a plain HELL NO and i think you should call her out prior to just ending it. WTF is the deal, is your cock too small or to large for her liking since shit like that plays a part in the relationship. People here trying to walk around the issue and shit, but if you ain't hitting it right there is your answer. You need to find out what has happened so the next pig you get will be kept in the barn that time.

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