Is this fair?

[mavsluva]

I hope an agency doesn't use that term. You're adopting a child, not an animal.

If it were me and the point is to provide a child a loving home it would not matter what their race is. But whatever.

You just said it best Carlos. We are very open to bringing in a child of any race to our home and turning his/her life around. It would be an honor and I really hope that happens to be honest.

[STYLE74]

Don't forget now....I do WANT to go. I just hate having to break the bank to accomodate her extremely high maintenance wants. My wife's sister spent a total of $200.00 for our wedding. We, on the other hand, will be spending $4,000.00 plus....

That's quite the delta if you ask me.

I hear you man, it's alot of money to spend for 4 days and especially when you are trying to adopt a child.

[mavsluva]

Here's my feelings.

Christmas is for kids get over it. I cant believe how many men are sad because no presents. They can still spend the holiday together.

His wife's sister is family. You guys keep saying do whats good for your family.

Christmas is in fact for kids. But when did my wife's sister get the authority to call off part of the festivities? That's the problem. I understand her intentions, but it's something we should all agree upon.

[goodcents]

You just said it best Carlos. We are very open to bringing in a child of any race to our home and turning his/her life around. It would be an honor and I really hope that happens to be honest.

ok, that's not what I read earlier Why wouldn't you take the russian kid then

[mavsluva]

Our preference is an American Caucasian Male at this time. But since we are still thinking this through right now, then we have the ability to ponder about the different ideas. Our goal is to change the life of a child, so if it does in fact result in something different than what we've envisioned at this time, then so be it. My wife and I are pumped about this opportunity.

[goodcents]

Our preference is an American Caucasian Male at this time. But since we are still thinking this through right now, then we have the ability to ponder about the different ideas.

I got you, I was about to label you a racist My cousin just adopted a white baby and it took forever, like 2years(?) oh and my cousin is racist (meaning it had to be white) but hey it's family, what you going to do? If I adopted, I don't think it would matter too much (very few people stare like they use too)

[mavsluva]

Our preference is an American Caucasian Male at this time. But since we are still thinking this through right now, then we have the ability to ponder about the different ideas. Our goal is to change the life of a child, so if it does in fact result in something different than what we've envisioned at this time, then so be it. My wife and I are pumped about this opportunity.

Goodcents: I quickly edited my previous post and you had already responded.

[Beefyman]

Like he said don't say anything or you will have your gal upset & sad

thats some crazy bs 30k for a child... and i think someone said this but they should that pay half the price for everyone...

pick of the litter i have seen this somewhere that white american kids sell for the most.

and fvk that i would not want another mans jelly in my wife haha

Best of luck to you bro and love the new boy & have a fun time at the wedding!!!

[goodcents]

Goodcents: I quickly edited my previous post and you had already responded.

That sounds better you just knew you would catch shlt for that one

[Beefyman]

I hope an agency doesn't use that term. You're adopting a child, not an animal.

If it were me and the point is to provide a child a loving home it would not matter what their race is. But whatever.

yep my uncle adopted a black/mexican boy and i love him with all my heart!

[Teabagger]

Caucasian. Learn how to spell your own people.



Is this something you made up or did an adoption agency actually say this.

Ya know I'm offended by your comments regarding the adoption. Calling him out for a misspelling?? Chickenshit is what that is. Calling into question his motivation just because he wants to adopt a child that is the same race as himself?? More chickenshit!! The guy is sharing some very personal information with us and you want to take his inventory by insinuation...

As a matter of fact I think you owe him an apology for your inappropriate and rude comments and questions regarding the adoption...of course there will be none...you're never wrong.

[gixxerboy1]

Ya know I'm offended by your comments regarding the adoption. Calling him out for a misspelling?? Chickenshit is what that is. Calling into question his motivation just because he wants to adopt a child that is the same race as himself?? More chickenshit!! The guy is sharing some very personal information with us and you want to take his inventory by insinuation...

As a matter of fact I think you owe him an apology for your inappropriate and rude comments and questions regarding the adoption...of course there will be none...you're never wrong.

I agree. Whats wrong with wanting someone of your own race? It probably makes it easier for the child also. It takes a good person to adopt and raise a child as his own.

[spywizard]

Here's the Readers Digest version of my situation:

My wife's sister is getting married in Jan. 07 and my wife is the Maid of Honor. She has chosen to have an overseas wedding. The total cost for both my wife and I to attend this wedding and the associated festivities is a little over $4000.00. Keep in mind that my wife and I are currently in the process of saving lots of money to adopt a child within the next 2 years.

My thoughts: It'll be a beautiful wedding and I'm sure that I'll have fun. However, from the moment that her sister comitted to an overseas wedding, she then accepted the fact that not everyone will be able to attend, mainly due to the financial requirements. We will be going to this wedding, but a part of me is a little bitter about the financial aspect of it. Not only will I have to work harder to help raise money for the adoption, her sister has now established a rule that no one will be exchanging Christmas gifts this year to allow us to use that money towards her wedding. Hey, that makes great sense and all, but why does everyone else in the family have to get shafted due to your high maintenance wants?

Do I have a valid argument here?

Thanks guys,
Mavsluva

yes, you have a valid argument... Family is about others.. not what others can do for you..

she is spoiled, her father did it for her, and her husband is doing more of the same..

[Carlos_E]

Ya know I'm offended by your comments regarding the adoption. Calling him out for a misspelling?? Chickenshit is what that is. Calling into question his motivation just because he wants to adopt a child that is the same race as himself?? More chickenshit!! The guy is sharing some very personal information with us and you want to take his inventory by insinuation...

As a matter of fact I think you owe him an apology for your inappropriate and rude comments and questions regarding the adoption...of course there will be none...you're never wrong.

It has already been established I don't care what you think.

also known as the pick of the litter.

I hope an agency doesn't use that term. You're adopting a child, not an animal.

That is what I questioned.

[Teabagger]

Your response is exactly what I expected...good, I hate surprises. And you also called into question why he wanted to adopt a white child, instead of adopting any race child...insinuating he was racist for not accepting any color child. But whatever Carlos, you are who you are and show more people everyday who your are.

[Carlos_E]

Your response is exactly what I expected...good, I hate surprises. And you also called into question why he wanted to adopt a white child, instead of adopting any race child...insinuating he was racist for not accepting any color child. But whatever Carlos, you are who you are and show more people everyday who your are.

You forget who you're talking to. I do not beat around the bush. If I thought him racist, I'd call him one. I said:

If it were me and the point is to provide a child a loving home it would not matter what their race is. But whatever.

I said for me, I would not care. That is not insinuating he is racist. You see what you what you want to see.

[STYLE74]

I have to agree with teabagger on certain points.

[BigLittleTim]

My cousin and his wife (both Irish red-heads) adopted two wonderful boys , ages 3 and 5, from Kenya two years ago. They can't have kids of their own and looked into American adoption and realized they'd have to wait years for a healthy white child of either sex. They discovered a large network of families and adoption agencies that help place older, orphaned children (one of the hardest groups to place) from poor countries.

Not only are they giving a loving home to actual biological brothers who were left orphaned by the AIDS epidemic in Africa, they have completely turned around the opinons of some of our relatives regarding "minorities". This is an old-time, Boston, blue-collar Irish Catholic family... and if you know the breed you can appreciate the power of love that can make my burly Irish Firechief uncle take his grandsons down to the station every week-end so they can play with the shamrock emblazoned firetrucks! Those kids are the best thing that happened to the whole town, let alone our family.

Sometimes people do stare in public at such an incongruous family, but everyone who gets to know them soon forgets the physical differences between my cousin and his wife and their kids. You really don't notice it, hard as it is to believe! They just become your "nephews".

Your kids become your kids, no matter how you got them.

-BigLittleTim

[STEROIDZZ]

its good that they can help kids, or at least try to.just tell them to keep t heir head up and things will work out for the best at the end... God Bless

[gixxerboy1]

If it were me and the point is to provide a child a loving home it would not matter what their race is. But whatever.

Thats the comment that insinuates you think your better. I could just imagine you rolling your eyes as you typed that.

Also saying something because he spelled Caucasian wrong? Was there really a need for that?

Trying to prove or point out your always on the high road. Really makes you on the low road.

[STEROIDZZ]

who you talking to gixxerboy?

[gixxerboy1]

who you talking to gixxerboy?

Carlos

[Carlos_E]

Thats the comment that insinuates you think your better. I could just imagine you rolling your eyes as you typed that.

My but whatever insinuated nothing. But whatever ... as in "But whatever, people are different."

Go ahead and see what you want to see. I don't care. I have more important things to worry about than what you or teabagger thinks of my comment.

[STEROIDZZ]

easy to jump on the racist pole arent we Carlos?? typical i guess

[STEROIDZZ]

also a probably good idea is to change topic, no need for the problems

[goodcents]

Wow, this turned ugly since I left last night

[gixxerboy1]

I don't care. I have more important things to worry about than what you or teabagger thinks of my comment.

Of course you don't. Yet when you feel someone a thread isn't important or offensive it gets edited or locked.

Yet you have 5 members here telling you what you said is wrong and you don't care. Thats real class

[Teabagger]

It didn't turn ugly. Just people disagreeing...nothing ugly about that, only real.

[scriptfactory]

My cousin and his wife (both Irish red-heads) adopted two wonderful boys , ages 3 and 5, from Kenya two years ago. They can't have kids of their own and looked into American adoption and realized they'd have to wait years for a healthy white child of either sex. They discovered a large network of families and adoption agencies that help place older, orphaned children (one of the hardest groups to place) from poor countries.

Not only are they giving a loving home to actual biological brothers who were left orphaned by the AIDS epidemic in Africa, they have completely turned around the opinons of some of our relatives regarding "minorities". This is an old-time, Boston, blue-collar Irish Catholic family... and if you know the breed you can appreciate the power of love that can make my burly Irish Firechief uncle take his grandsons down to the station every week-end so they can play with the shamrock emblazoned firetrucks! Those kids are the best thing that happened to the whole town, let alone our family.

Sometimes people do stare in public at such an incongruous family, but everyone who gets to know them soon forgets the physical differences between my cousin and his wife and their kids. You really don't notice it, hard as it is to believe! They just become your "nephews".

Your kids become your kids, no matter how you got them.

-BigLittleTim

A truly wonderful story. Maybe there is hope for the human race, yet. Thanks for sharing.

[scriptfactory]

Of course you don't. Yet when you feel someone a thread isn't important or offensive it gets edited or locked.

Yet you have 5 members here telling you what you said is wrong and you don't care. Thats real class

What he said isn't wrong. I am lucky enough to have two cute and strong boys of my own but if I was adopting I wouldn't search around for a black baby simply because I was black. That would be the last thing I would look for actually.

Top 5:
#1 An excellent attitude. I can't stand bad children.
#2 Good teeth.
#3 Excellent facial characteristics
#4 Good hair.
#5 Lack of fleas.



As Carlos said, everyone is different. I don't think he said anything was wrong with that because there IS nothing wrong with that. I think too much was read into what was typed because some of you wanted to see something that wasn't there. Just take what was written at face value and be happy.

[mavsluva]

Update: As of this morning, I have officially booked our travel plans for the wedding (remember, this thread was originally about a wedding!). I've totally accepted the cost of the festivities and I'm fully at peace with the decision. My wife's sister owes me nothing.

Lets not forget the fact that having a healthy child is not a human right that we were born with. Being that I'm sterile due to my cancer experiences, I feel extremely blessed to have the opportunity bring a child into my home. Now whether the child is black, white, purple, male or female, it doesn't matter. It's the principle of the adoption that we should all accept and be proud of.

Thanks to all for your insights.

[goodcents]

Update: As of this morning, I have officially booked our travel plans for the wedding (remember, this thread was originally about a wedding!). I've totally accepted the cost of the festivities and I'm fully at peace with the decision. My wife's sister owes me nothing.

Lets not forget the fact that having a healthy child is not a human right that we were born with. Being that I'm sterile due to my cancer experiences, I feel extremely blessed to have the opportunity bring a child into my home. Now whether the child is black, white, purple, male or female, it doesn't matter. It's the principle of the adoption that we should all accept and be proud of.

Thanks to all for your insights.

Well have fun then, reminds me of what a sales manager said to me one time when he was pretending to be a customer "well, I got fuked, but I least I enjoyed it" You are made for marriage, I'm a self centered prick, I could never do it

[Carlos_E]

Of course you don't. Yet when you feel someone a thread isn't important or offensive it gets edited or locked.

Yet you have 5 members here telling you what you said is wrong and you don't care. Thats real class

As I said before and I'm saying it for the last time. If I thought him racist I would have said so. I don't insinuate. I stated my opinion that I would not care what race I would adopt and said but whatever. As in "people are different" "it's not important."

I got you, I was about to label you a racist My cousin just adopted a white baby and it took forever, like 2years(?) oh and my cousin is racist (meaning it had to be white) but hey it's family, what you going to do? If I adopted, I don't think it would matter too much (very few people stare like they use too)

Goodcent said he was about to call him a racist. I don't see you jumping down his throat.

Again, you see what you want to see.

[scriptfactory]

Update: As of this morning, I have officially booked our travel plans for the wedding (remember, this thread was originally about a wedding!). I've totally accepted the cost of the festivities and I'm fully at peace with the decision. My wife's sister owes me nothing.

Lets not forget the fact that having a healthy child is not a human right that we were born with. Being that I'm sterile due to my cancer experiences, I feel extremely blessed to have the opportunity bring a child into my home. Now whether the child is black, white, purple, male or female, it doesn't matter. It's the principle of the adoption that we should all accept and be proud of.

Thanks to all for your insights.

If you are at peace with it then that's all that matters! Have fun, man.

If it was my wife's sister I would have kicked her fiancee in the head for his lack of balls.

[goodcents]

As I said before and I'm saying it for the last time. If I thought him racist I would have said so. I don't insinuate. I stated my opinion that I would not care what race I would adopt and said but whatever. As in "people are different" "it's not important."



Goodcent said he was about to call him a racist. I don't see you jumping down his throat.

Again, you see what you want to see.

Yeap, I get a pass Actually I was thinking about when you said I made a racist comment on some mid east thread and it got deleted (so I guess that does kind of prove you are not afraid to use "racist") I'm still kind of bugged by being called racist since I was helped raised by a black woman that I loved dearly, till I took a look at things and discovered I am to an extent racist against arabs

[STYLE74]

I hope an agency doesn't use that term. You're adopting a child, not an animal.

If it were me and the point is to provide a child a loving home it would not matter what their race is. But whatever.

This is the disagreement right here.....

All masluva said was that he and his wife wanted to adopt a Caucasian child and they wanted the pick of the litter (ok thats the not the right term but he was just saying that to expalin to us easy). Just because they want a caucasian child does not mean they wouldn't love one of any other race or provide a nice home for any other race, it's just what they want. The but whatever part makes it seem sarcastic and insinuating even if it's not meant that way. The other part of the disagreement is the fact that it seems like Carlos is trying to belittle mavsluva because of the simple fact that he mispelled the word caucasian and the way he sais it....Learn how to spell your own race!! To me that is just wrong, he could have just tried to correct him instead of saying it like that. Many people on this site mispell things every day including carlos and to say it like that is not cool. These are my thoughts on it.

[Teabagger]

You were not getting a pass I have been back and forth between computers. Question; Is your brother a racist because he wanted to adopt a white child only?, or is he a racist because he hates blacks, hispanic, etc...

Am I a racist because I wanted to marry, and did marry a white woman? Am I a racist because in my entire life I have only been with one black woman, and many white women? The PC crowd have been successful in blurring the line between "preferances" and "racism". We all have preferances, they are not in and of themselves wrong...unless you have a preferance for children or animals.

I would "prefer" my son and daughter marry Catholic, and white. Am I a racist for having that preferance? If they end up marrying a non-white, that is good to them and makes them happy...then I will love them as my own son or daughter. By prefering they marry a Catholic does that make me a religious bigot? Simply stating a preferance is no reason for someone to make statements that insinuate the person's preferances are somehow less pure, valid, or lofty than someone else who "professes" to have no preferance.

Peace out..........