anyone ever been self destructive...

**lucabratzi** · 11-01-2006, 03:28 AM

im sure no one will see this till tomorow...but i might as welll put this out there while im not sober and have these thoughts..
1 and a half years ago i got real serious into diet and bb...before was just workin out...i went from 200lbs to 250lbs in a year...about 30-35lbs was lean muscle...i ate slept and breathed bb...i never drank never smoked or did drugs...i was dedicated...i loved it...people looked at me like i was crazy for bein 20 years old and 250-255lbs and never partyin...then this past summer i crashed...drinkin and pills, (mostly perc's)....and not workin out for shit...i havent worked out since the beg. of summer...just drinkin and doin pills...i kick pills then get back on...i enjoy bein destructive and pain..this is were u guys start to think im nuts....i have no regard for death...i go 170mph on my bike atleast 2 times a week...if im not sleepin from takin to many pills im not sleepin cause i dont take any...i get so angry at my now ex gf, that i really wanted to make things work cause we just got back together...she was supportin me gettin off pills but doesnt realize how people change temporarily while kickin it..so now i say **** her for not helpin and always nit pickin everything i say.. and **** everyone...i dont wanna sound like a whiny pussy but this is the way i am...im on a destructive path and am ok with it..it makes me feel better and can be nice to people this way...has anyone ever been were i've been...i feel like i need to see my real freinds from back home..sorry for the rant...just the way life is for some people...

**Hunter** · 11-01-2006, 03:34 AM

Never been where you are or where your going. There is a qoute some where on this board maybe some ones sig that says "your desire to change has to stronger then your desire to stay the same." If your happy with this choice no one can help you and if you aren't happy with this choice only you can help yourself. Sometimes you just have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get your life back in order.

**NightTrain** · 11-01-2006, 03:47 AM

chin up bro, im not gona say i've been there and done that cause i havent.... but when i got divorced from my first wife i did go on a pretty nasty drinking binge, and probally would still be doing it if it wasnt for the fact that i meet my new wife and i realized that i had a good woman..... and she helped me change. if you want to quit, quit if not rock on dude. 'Train

***perfectbeast2001*** · 11-01-2006, 05:32 AM

I was extremely self destructive a few years ago. I weighed 22 stone of fat from drinking and eating crap. I took whatever I could lay my hands on and drank alcohol daily. I smoked the strongest cigarettes I could buy. I drove around drunk speeding ect. I put my self in situations where I would get beaten up as I kind of liked the pain. It was very wierd. I also used to self harm, burning my skin with cigarettes, putting them out on my tongue, breaking my knuckles on walls. For a while i was convinced I was going to die of a terminal disease. All I can say is that BB has made me a better person. I dedicate myself to diet and training and enjoy looking as good as i can. I think I have an addictive personality and I need something in my life. If i wasnt into BB I think I would go back to hating myself and become destructive again. My only advice is to channel your feelings into either a sport or a hobby or job and dedicate yourself to it. Good luck, it is hard at the beginning but it gets much easier with time brother.

**Mizfit** · 11-01-2006, 06:51 AM

Yah i was - for me something happened that caused me a lot of pain and i tried to numb it by going out and partying.

I got out of an abusive relationship and basically when it was all over i felt like i was worthless.

I started going out to clubs and after hours way too much and forgot who ym real friends were - spending a bit too much time with my club friends.

I was lying to my sister, I was out from friday nite till the wee hours of monday morning and I didn't feel like stopping.

I was lucky i didnt obtain any physical addictions, but i admit i got totally addicted to the club scene.

One night i just took a look at my life and realized that something had to change because everything i worked so hard for, would slip away.

The quot above about your need to change has to be stronger than your need to stay the same is so true.

Also do not put your happiness in thr handsof anyone else - we are responsible for our own happiness.

**1819** · 11-01-2006, 07:04 AM

Originally Posted by lucabratzi

im sure no one will see this till tomorow...but i might as welll put this out there while im not sober and have these thoughts..
1 and a half years ago i got real serious into diet and bb...before was just workin out...i went from 200lbs to 250lbs in a year...about 30-35lbs was lean muscle...i ate slept and breathed bb...i never drank never smoked or did drugs...i was dedicated...i loved it...people looked at me like i was crazy for bein 20 years old and 250-255lbs and never partyin...then this past summer i crashed...drinkin and pills, (mostly perc's)....and not workin out for shit...i havent worked out since the beg. of summer...just drinkin and doin pills...i kick pills then get back on...i enjoy bein destructive and pain..this is were u guys start to think im nuts....i have no regard for death...i go 170mph on my bike atleast 2 times a week...if im not sleepin from takin to many pills im not sleepin cause i dont take any...i get so angry at my now ex gf, that i really wanted to make things work cause we just got back together...she was supportin me gettin off pills but doesnt realize how people change temporarily while kickin it..so now i say **** her for not helpin and always nit pickin everything i say.. and **** everyone...i dont wanna sound like a whiny pussy but this is the way i am...im on a destructive path and am ok with it..it makes me feel better and can be nice to people this way...has anyone ever been were i've been...i feel like i need to see my real freinds from back home..sorry for the rant...just the way life is for some people...

bro, you are a young man. never underestimate the importance of being young and having your whole life in front of you. you will go through many dead periods in your life. how you deal with them determines what kind of man you'll be. you already proved to yourself you have what it takes to be successful at workin out. take the positive from that and use it to your advantage. thats one of the hardest things in life to be good at. if you can do that, imagine what else you can do. chicks come and go. dont sweat that. your real friends will always be there no matter how long you go without contact. kick the pills first and foremost. those are always a disaster. no regard for death? im sure if you take a minute to think you'll see its much better to be alive. alive and young! keep your head up bro. you'll get through.

**taiboxa** · 11-01-2006, 07:49 AM

the most self destructive thing i have done is...

i guess.. either A) break hand punching door frame (hit it like 10-12 times IM A WEETARD)
or B) head buttin an Oak door out of anger as well.. NOW THAT F'N LEFT A MARK! lol
im so weetarded ><

**LBT** · 11-01-2006, 07:57 AM

Yes, it's partly why I took up BB. I used the frustration and anger and turned it into a positive. (Not though I knew that at the time).

**hotstuff** · 11-01-2006, 08:01 AM

you say you feel like you need to see your real friends from back home... than go do that. it sounds to me like you don't have a support system and even if you want to make a change going at it alone makes it alot tougher.

and as everyone else is quoting ...your need to change has to be stronger than your need to stay the same.

dictate your life... don't let life and drugs dictate you.

**lucabratzi** · 11-01-2006, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by perfectbeast2001

I was extremely self destructive a few years ago. I weighed 22 stone of fat from drinking and eating crap. I took whatever I could lay my hands on and drank alcohol daily. I smoked the strongest cigarettes I could buy. I drove around drunk speeding ect. I put my self in situations where I would get beaten up as I kind of liked the pain. It was very wierd. I also used to self harm, burning my skin with cigarettes, putting them out on my tongue, breaking my knuckles on walls. For a while i was convinced I was going to die of a terminal disease. All I can say is that BB has made me a better person. I dedicate myself to diet and training and enjoy looking as good as i can. I think I have an addictive personality and I need something in my life. If i wasnt into BB I think I would go back to hating myself and become destructive again. My only advice is to channel your feelings into either a sport or a hobby or job and dedicate yourself to it. Good luck, it is hard at the beginning but it gets much easier with time brother.

sucks, its good that you found bb...i kinda went the opposite direction...and miz i know what u mean about not puttin my happiness in someone elses hands but after last night i wanna cry cause im such a **** up...and thats were it all revolves again to cause pain...idk guys i really dont ****in know...

**lucabratzi** · 11-01-2006, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by hotstuff

you say you feel like you need to see your real friends from back home... than go do that. it sounds to me like you don't have a support system and even if you want to make a change going at it alone makes it alot tougher.

and as everyone else is quoting ...your need to change has to be stronger than your need to stay the same.

dictate your life... don't let life and drugs dictate you.

i really want to go home and see my down to earth friends that make me feel good..my true freinds back home make me feel like gold no matter what im goin through...but its hard to get home when i have classes 5 days a week and no vaca till christmas...

**cj1capp** · 11-01-2006, 08:17 AM

i have been where you are, even worse. When you sober up call a friend find a drug program and get busy living or get busy dying. If you havent hit bottom then nothing anyone will say will make a difference. I just want to say that there is no need to go all the way down. You dont need to lose friends family and your mind , you can change things now!
i can go on and on about the joys of getting clean and sober but bro if you wont or dont want to take the first step then get busy dying and hopefully you will do it in a manner that will minimise the damage to those that love you. You can PM me if you think you want to talk or need info about getting help.

**lucabratzi** · 11-01-2006, 08:24 AM

Originally Posted by cj1capp

i have been where you are, even worse. When you sober up call a friend find a drug program and get busy living or get busy dying. If you havent hit bottom then nothing anyone will say will make a difference. I just want to say that there is no need to go all the way down. You dont need to lose friends family and your mind , you can change things now!
i can go on and on about the joys of getting clean and sober but bro if you wont or dont want to take the first step then get busy dying and hopefully you will do it in a manner that will minimise the damage to those that love you. You can PM me if you think you want to talk or need info about getting help.

.
thats the problem..i dont want to quit totally...i was takin them daily for a while..breakfast, before lunch, lunch, dinner, before sleep...i would take so many so many times a day...then i saw myself goin to hit rock bottom..so i stopped then started again...but not as much..then my girl came and supported me to stop...i used her as a crutch...and i told her i will not be the same...i guess she didnt listen...she just kept pickin apart the little things i did wrong instead of all the good things i've done...i really am a good guy and bf...but she made me feel like a peice of shit...

**dedic8ed1** · 11-01-2006, 08:47 AM

Listen bro I just got home from work I gotta get some sleep right now so check out this link to my past and later I'll jump back on and add some knowledge for ya.
A little bit about me

**lucabratzi** · 11-01-2006, 08:59 AM

Originally Posted by dedic8ed1

Listen bro I just got home from work I gotta get some sleep right now so check out this link to my past and later I'll jump back on and add some knowledge for ya.
A little bit about me

dam bro...sounds like were im goin...my friend that was seriously addicted when through withdrawls like u said..he said it was something he wouldnt wish on his worst enemy...its so hard to kick it when u feel so worthless though...i wanna go in my room and cry cause i feel like such a peice of shit...and the one person that was helpin i pushed away...i think i have a chemical imbalance cause i've been depressed before..im off to my room thanks for the help guys...means alot..

**mavsluva** · 11-01-2006, 09:13 AM

The quote: "Your desire to change has to be greater than your desire to stay the same", was mine!

**big L 17** · 11-01-2006, 09:28 AM

i have last febuary it all started me drinking everynight skipping class,using drugs everynight.i was punching walls,falling throw windows,broke two windows in one month.i lost my ex gf becuase she coudnt deal with me and my problems.i would go to aa and as soon as i would leave my freinds would already be calling me wanting to get drunk.i had to stop and realize was all this worth it i worked so hard for everything i had to kick my habbits its not easy but u need the desire to change your self.i have been clean for 3months now and its hard i still think about using everday i have moved to another city to help me get over it and keep me away from.

**lucabratzi** · 11-01-2006, 11:49 AM

ahhh gettin on my gsx-r and listenin to my ipod brings me right back down to earth...hopefully i can stay feelin almost normal for the rest of the day..no more sniffin or takin pills...ima take it day by day and try to keep my head up...

**Bojangles69** · 11-01-2006, 11:57 AM

Freud said everything we do in life operates under our "life instinct" or our "death instinct". It may sound extreme but you can break every choice you make in life into 2 decisions.

Constructive vs. Destructive

Constructive is ANY decision that leads you closer to your ideal self.
Destructive is ANY decision that leads you farther from your ideal self.

Whether or not we really do have life/death instincts is debatable, but everything you do serves a purpose, even if your *doing nothing.

**Mizfit** · 11-01-2006, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

Freud said everything we do in life operates under our "life instinct" or our "death instinct". It may sound extreme but you can break every choice you make in life into 2 decisions.

Constructive vs. Destructive

Constructive is ANY decision that leads you closer to your ideal self.
Destructive is ANY decision that leads you farther from your ideal self.

Whether or not we really do have life/death instincts is debatable, but everything you do serves a purpose, even if your *doing nothing.

We all live to die - that kinda stuff

**bently** · 11-01-2006, 02:03 PM

never been self abusive but i have a uncle who treated his liver like a two dollar hooker who stole his dog and his truck. pretty bad scene

**dedic8ed1** · 11-01-2006, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by lucabratzi

ahhh gettin on my gsx-r and listenin to my ipod brings me right back down to earth...hopefully i can stay feelin almost normal for the rest of the day..no more sniffin or takin pills...ima take it day by day and try to keep my head up...

Listen brother it's good to have your head in the clouds but only if you have your feet on the ground,take your street bike for instance it has the association of adreniline and danger which let's face it is probably the best feeling in the world,going 170mph with your hair on fire and the only thing that concerns you is the fact that for this moment your free,there's no mailbox with bills there's no girlfriend questioning you about the way you've been treating her and your family wanting to know why your sinking further and further into the depths of addiction when they've probably offered help but all you have to do is be willing to embrace it,so what do adrenaline junkies like you and me do we "TWIST"that throttle even harder because the thought of facing all that doesn't seem as appeling as blasting down the highway where in your mind your invincible and nothing can touch you.But guess what brother your not invincible your not immortall your human just like everyone else,your not the first person to get hooked on the rockstar feeling of painkillers it's an epidemic on society today man.The worst thing you can do right now is feel sorry for yourself and keep taking those pills and whatever other drugs your taking.Your family is most likely terrified that yor gonna end up dead because let's face it all this shit leads to death man nothing positive comes from addiction except the ability to become sober.Don't you see that right now this addiction has a strangle hold on your soul your letting your family down your girlfriend down and all your friends are saying,yo man stay away from Lucabratzi soon enough with his lifestyle he'll be sleeping with the fishes or the other junkies that thought they knew more then the next guy who thought that the illusion of control was a reality.What you need right now is to boost your "MORAL"by kicking these habits and gaining the strenght to stay sober and that my friend is the only thing that you need to focus on.

On January 6,2007 I'll have 2 years of sobriety and yes that makes me happy but do I go around telling people that I'm an addict no because to me I'm ashamed of admitting to myself that yep I was a peice of shit and I hurt alot of people and I hate to be reminded of it and that shame will keep your ass straight and sober but only after your clean and raised your moral enough to acknowledge the fact that I slipped up and can never let that happen again.

Talk with some people about getting help bro or brfore you know it you'll be in jail kicking that shit and at that point your fuked.When I was in jail for that 16 days this kid I went to highschool with went in the day I got out and he was on a xanax binge for about a month and he wasn't in 2 days and then he hung himself with his county issue clothes.And guess what bro no one has pitty for a suicide.Get help get claen stay clean good luck man.

Feel free to PM me for advice on how to start your new life don't be scared bro it's time to start living again.

Bodybuilding is my anti drug and it could be yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**dedic8ed1** · 11-01-2006, 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by perfectbeast2001

I was extremely self destructive a few years ago. I weighed 22 stone of fat from drinking and eating crap. I took whatever I could lay my hands on and drank alcohol daily. I smoked the strongest cigarettes I could buy. I drove around drunk speeding ect. I put my self in situations where I would get beaten up as I kind of liked the pain. It was very wierd. I also used to self harm, burning my skin with cigarettes, putting them out on my tongue, breaking my knuckles on walls. For a while i was convinced I was going to die of a terminal disease. All I can say is that BB has made me a better person. I dedicate myself to diet and training and enjoy looking as good as i can. I think I have an addictive personality and I need something in my life. If i wasnt into BB I think I would go back to hating myself and become destructive again. My only advice is to channel your feelings into either a sport or a hobby or job and dedicate yourself to it. Good luck, it is hard at the beginning but it gets much easier with time brother.

Perfect beast you and I are one and I couldn't of said it better bro I'm happy to be apart of the same board as you man,great advice

**lucabratzi** · 11-01-2006, 04:55 PM

dedic8ted pm sent....

**boxingbean** · 11-01-2006, 04:58 PM

once had a gut....so one nite i got tired of it and socked my self many times hard as **** until i threw up......bruises kept me from walkin straight for a while.....now i just go to the gym when im feeling shitty...works tremendously

but i do enjoy a nice pill poppin session and fall into a soma coma after a hard day

**nd03** · 11-01-2006, 08:21 PM

Bro, you are not alone man. I've been an avid bodybuilder for over 6 years. About a year ago I started doing piainkillers (oc's) on the weekends, then when I was stressed or wanted to get a buzz, before I knew it I was doing them everyday and when I wasn't I felt like shit. The problem with these things are they change your priorities in life, at least for me it did. I didn't care if I missed a lift or was eating bad. Changed me as a person. Lost all motivation to lift. Some how I landed a great job away from home and knew I needed to get off these things. WD's are horrible I won't lie. Can't eat, Puking, shitting all day for about three days. Then the WD's start to subside. It's been about 7 weeks now since I;ve been clean and I'm back to my old self. If you need anything let me know, your not alone. The worst part is the mental part. I was depressed for a while wondering how I fell so deep.

**DSM4Life** · 11-01-2006, 08:35 PM

I have hit depressions as well. What made it bad was it happened while i was on a cycle it just went too far. I couldn't eat , sleep then on top of that my girl which i love more then myself broke up with me. I was eating percs like they were candy and drinking every night just to be able to sleep. I would go out partying and be that sloppy F*** you laugh at in the bar. I was drinking to escape the pain. After about 2 weeks i noticed the pain was only getting worse and it was either cont. down that path or shape up.

The girl thing hurts .... alot but i am not allowed to talk about it because mizfit will yell at me because i talk about it too much

**AnabolicAndre** · 11-01-2006, 09:04 PM

Keep your head up man!

Everyone's been there. We can all atest to and give personal accounts to the feeling and emotions effin up entails.

It takes a big man to step up and say, " What am I doin? Get your feet on the ground, hold your head up high, and walk tall my friend, and tommorrow is a new day!"

**lucabratzi** · 11-01-2006, 09:19 PM

thanks for the anecdotes...so if u guys can do it i can...its possible...thats the way i see it...right now im swearin them off...gettin back on my feet...i told my ex im gettin clean and want to call her in 2 weeks...but she doesnt understand what it does to peoples personalities and thinks im just an ass cause i treated her bad for 1 week...besides that 1 week i treated her amazing...but she quickly forgot about all that...i dont think i will call her because i feel like she will still be the same girl and not be right for me...i feel like in some way she is the reason i started drinkin/takin pills which led to me stoppin lifting...cause we broke up before summer and i was miserable..i got done with pct and started drinkin to kill the pain...the percs came in the picture..whatever gotta move on...thanks though guys...wish me luck..

**NightTrain** · 11-01-2006, 09:38 PM

good luck Bro, you can do it..... you just have to have faith in your self..... plus we got your back

**Evil Predator** · 11-01-2006, 10:28 PM

I hit rock bottom. Complete alcoholic. Its a long story I dont care to go into (no time) but ive been clean and sober for 3 years, and im quite happy...

**tiger909** · 11-01-2006, 11:03 PM

im gonna take it that your an atheist/agnositic....this a ttypical response that ppl go through when they figure this out

Man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world - and defines himself afterwards. Thus, we reject "deterministic excuses" and claims that all people must take responsibility for their behaviour. angst and despair are the emotions people feel once they come to the realize that they are responsible for all of their actions. also loneliness atheists feel when they realize that they are all alone, that there is no God to watch over them. This is associated with despair and angst.

if u dont wanna live, just kill yourself, theres nothing morally wrong with it....but do not go 170 on the freeway which children, and mothers share with you, douchebag.....u feel likes theres no use to life, well make one..were thrown into this world without purpose, now either cease or define yourself...

im making alot of assumptions here, but im guessing some are correct, and no hard feelings

**T3/T4 GSR** · 11-01-2006, 11:35 PM

My ex gf used to cut herself and it would make me mad and so one day when I saw she did it I took a knife and cut myself and she started crying and I said if you do it again I iwll cut myself till you stop. She actually stopped after that. Guess it woke her up to seeing what it was like from someone who cares about yous perspective. I kinda did it for constructive reasons but it was also destructive.

**Bojangles69** · 11-01-2006, 11:38 PM

Originally Posted by tiger909

im gonna take it that your an atheist/agnositic....this a ttypical response that ppl go through when they figure this out

Man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world - and defines himself afterwards. Thus, we reject "deterministic excuses" and claims that all people must take responsibility for their behaviour. angst and despair are the emotions people feel once they come to the realize that they are responsible for all of their actions. also loneliness atheists feel when they realize that they are all alone, that there is no God to watch over them. This is associated with despair and angst.

if u dont wanna live, just kill yourself, theres nothing morally wrong with it....but do not go 170 on the freeway which children, and mothers share with you, douchebag.....u feel likes theres no use to life, well make one..were thrown into this world without purpose, now either cease or define yourself...

im making alot of assumptions here, but im guessing some are correct, and no hard feelings

Nothing morally wrong with suicide eh?? If your gonna backwards rationalize something like that, than theres nothing morally wrong with murder either, or rape, or genocide.
Try telling that to the parents of someone who commited suicide. That morals dont apply because when someone is going through pain that they are the only one feeling it. Pain is not an isolated feeling. Emotional pain is contagious. If Im in pain, so is my family and so is my friends. So putting a gun to my head to end my pain and inflict more on those who tried to help me isnt morally wrong? Thats the most selfish thing in the world.

No of course theres certain situations where suicide may have some logic to it. But even still thats a 1:1,000,000 occurence. You may want to reverse your logic so it applies to the other 1,000,000 people on this planet and not just the one. Anyone who says suicide isnt morally wrong lacks a great deal of empathy imo and is judging the life of another from thier own egocentric self centered perspective.

**I_AM_HE** · 11-01-2006, 11:54 PM

Yes Still Em .....its Pretty Bad

**I_AM_HE** · 11-01-2006, 11:56 PM

Originally Posted by lucabratzi

im sure no one will see this till tomorow...but i might as welll put this out there while im not sober and have these thoughts..
1 and a half years ago i got real serious into diet and bb...before was just workin out...i went from 200lbs to 250lbs in a year...about 30-35lbs was lean muscle...i ate slept and breathed bb...i never drank never smoked or did drugs...i was dedicated...i loved it...people looked at me like i was crazy for bein 20 years old and 250-255lbs and never partyin...then this past summer i crashed...drinkin and pills, (mostly perc's)....and not workin out for shit...i havent worked out since the beg. of summer...just drinkin and doin pills...i kick pills then get back on...i enjoy bein destructive and pain..this is were u guys start to think im nuts....i have no regard for death...i go 170mph on my bike atleast 2 times a week...if im not sleepin from takin to many pills im not sleepin cause i dont take any...i get so angry at my now ex gf, that i really wanted to make things work cause we just got back together...she was supportin me gettin off pills but doesnt realize how people change temporarily while kickin it..so now i say **** her for not helpin and always nit pickin everything i say.. and **** everyone...i dont wanna sound like a whiny pussy but this is the way i am...im on a destructive path and am ok with it..it makes me feel better and can be nice to people this way...has anyone ever been were i've been...i feel like i need to see my real freinds from back home..sorry for the rant...just the way life is for some people...

dude your prude gett on some proper drugs and drive a least 210 and go rape a cow...

**I_AM_HE** · 11-02-2006, 12:03 AM

I have drank every day since march ...I have almost died once this year I have ......I am wild cuz there is something inside of me crying out for something else..that I am not doing

**Rye_guy** · 11-02-2006, 12:55 AM

Originally Posted by taiboxa

the most self destructive thing i have done is...

i guess.. either A) break hand punching door frame (hit it like 10-12 times IM A WEETARD)
or B) head buttin an Oak door out of anger as well.. NOW THAT F'N LEFT A MARK! lol
im so weetarded ><

Hmm, I guess tai doesn't like them doors. everyone needs an arch nemesis, mine is cheese cake

**tiger909** · 11-02-2006, 02:30 AM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

Nothing morally wrong with suicide eh?? If your gonna backwards rationalize something like that, than theres nothing morally wrong with murder either, or rape, or genocide.
Try telling that to the parents of someone who commited suicide. That morals dont apply because when someone is going through pain that they are the only one feeling it. Pain is not an isolated feeling. Emotional pain is contagious. If Im in pain, so is my family and so is my friends. So putting a gun to my head to end my pain and inflict more on those who tried to help me isnt morally wrong? Thats the most selfish thing in the world.

No of course theres certain situations where suicide may have some logic to it. But even still thats a 1:1,000,000 occurence. You may want to reverse your logic so it applies to the other 1,000,000 people on this planet and not just the one. Anyone who says suicide isnt morally wrong lacks a great deal of empathy imo and is judging the life of another from thier own egocentric self centered perspective.

its not like murder, rape ect because you do it to yourself
if you have taken prior obligations (relationship, children, imp work) then you lose the right to end your life, because you have made other ppl dependant on you...your death cannot leave others vulnerable
The removal of misery makes suicide morally justifiable and permissible—to bear unbearable pain is in no way part of a natural inclination. moral duty is reciprocal—while, alive and healthy, it is my bounden duty to render service to society as it protects me in return, but when my life becomes a liability and a burden to society, my withdrawal is not only innocent but applaudable; and there is no such thing as order designed by God

my .02

we can discuss more if you like