Problems with Wife and My Mom!!!

**dhriscerr** · 01-06-2007, 11:42 AM

Ok, This is going to get long but I need some help. We have a 8 month old daughter and she is awsome, she can go to my wifes moms house anytime she wants, and my wifes aunts and other friends of the family can babysit her and my wife has no problems with that. But my mom on the other hand, my wife wont let her go stay over night with my mom and the only way my mom can see her is if my wife is there with her. She wont ever let me take my daughter over to see my mom by myself and she says that since we invite my mom over sometimes and she doesnt wanna come my mom has no right to be mad that she doesnt see her. But my mom shouldnt have to have visitation rights, thats basically how its set up. My mom has been a state licensed babysitter for 28 years has a preschool for 2-5 year olds and both have over 1 year waiting lists to get into. Alot of people sign thier kids up when they are born to reserve a spot. So my mom has all the credentials in the world as far as kids go. Now we bought a house in august and her whole family got to come see the house and help us fix it up and this and that and my parents were dying to see it and didnt get to come until the end of October. I lived in california for 4 years in the Marine Corps and my family came out 4 years ago in july. My daught was born in April and I let my wifes family come out first and see the baby because that is what she wanted. But she got pissed off that my family came out after that. She said that they already came out so they didnt need to come out again. It was a year later, and it was thier Granddaughers birth! Ive always just been trying to make everyone happy but have basically been Sh*tting on my mom and she is getting screwed in not seeing her granddaughter. My mom has 4 important things in her life, her sons, (me and my brother), her husband, her job, and her granddaughter. My wife has basically taken her grand daughter and in a way me away from my mom. My mom has layed awake alot of nights crying and has even thought about suicide because of it. She has done nothing wrong to deserve this. My mom told me that it would be easier if we had no contact because she cant keep hurting like this. And she said she loves me but she has taken me out of her will. And put everything to go to my brother incase I get a divorce so my wife doesnt try to take anything. WHAT DO I DO?????

**Fordfan01** · 01-06-2007, 11:56 AM

Dude u got to tell ur wife wats up man. That is ur MOTHER. She is the most important woman in ur life. U may have more than one wife in ur life, but ull only have one mom. Dont risk something happening to her and yall end on bad terms

**dhriscerr** · 01-06-2007, 12:00 PM

Thats what I was thinking man, If my mom commited suicide that night when like 4 of her close friends were over here watching her, I would have never let myself live it down, It would have been my fault!

***perfectbeast2001*** · 01-06-2007, 12:14 PM

what is your wifes reasoning for being so mean to your mum? I would tell my GF to go **** herself unless she had a real good reason to act that way.

**onestone** · 01-06-2007, 12:25 PM

Sounds like there's more to this story if your mom has taken you out of her will. She's playing the same game your wife is. What happened between your wife and your mother?

**stuball** · 01-06-2007, 12:33 PM

When i first started reading this post i though your wife was a real fvckin cvnt, but reading on, you wife has a point ,if you mother is that unstable and would kill herself over this, maybe she shouldnt be around your daughter or any other children, sorry bro but your mom needs help...

**king6** · 01-06-2007, 12:38 PM

Be a man, reach down and grab a hold, tell your wife she is FVCKED up for doing this. But like the others said, it sounds like there is more to this story. Why does your wife not like your mom?

**dhriscerr** · 01-06-2007, 12:40 PM

I dont know man, Its the only time shes ever thought about it and my wife totally treats her like shit, she wont talk to her and just walks by her at xmas and stuff. She says she doesnt like her because she is in our buisness to much, but im really open with my mom. ANd the other thing is my wife says she is in our buisness all the time but then everytime i do something wrong she is the first one to call my mom and bitch about what i did. So its only ok for my mom to be in our buisness when its ok for my wife to tell her

**dhriscerr** · 01-06-2007, 12:42 PM

Whenever I ask my wife she just says i dont want to let her go over there and you should let me make my decision. My mom buys things for my daughter and my wife all the time. She use to send formula home everyweek to help us out. Even my wifes brother and cousin see that my wife is like this and think its messed up. But the only problem is its really all me and my wife fight about, other than this were really good.

**Booz** · 01-06-2007, 12:44 PM

tel her if she cant stay with your mom she cant stay with hers.............
you need to sort her out mate.................
put your foot down...........

**king6** · 01-06-2007, 12:50 PM

Yup, this friction is between your wife and your mom only. It is not right for her to include your daughter in it. I remember when my parents got divoreced, they used my to play sides against the other, which is all kinds of fvcked up. If they have problems with each other than thats fine, but they have no right to drag anyone else into it. My dad use to make me play baseball, not so he could watch, but so he could bring my stepmom by to piss my mom off. I use to tell them to go take there pissing contest somewhere else and leave me the fvck out of it.

**SS1476** · 01-06-2007, 12:54 PM

Sounds like your mom never liked
your choice,and never will.And Im
also sure your woman knows this..

Sounds like your being forced to
decide whos going to be in your
life,and it seems the two of them
have the same plan..who will win?

**king6** · 01-06-2007, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by SS1476

Sounds like your mom never liked
your choice,and never will.And Im
also sure your woman knows this..

Sounds like your being forced to
decide whos going to be in your
life,and it seems the two of them
have the same plan..who will win?

Sounds like the description of some new action movie.

**Mike Dura** · 01-06-2007, 01:02 PM

That's a profoundly dysfunctional situation. It really begs the question: Why does your wife have such an axe to grind with your mom? If she feels your mom over steps due bounds by being too "into your biz" that doesn't come close to justifying your wife's behavior of isolating your daughter from your mom. Frankly, your wife's behavior seems selfish, childish and destructive. But maybe there's more to it than being expressed here. It sound like a really sad situation for all involved. You have to do something about it obviously. Have you considered marrraige counseling? That would be a good move.

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

Whenever I ask my wife she just says i dont want to let her go over there and you should let me make my decision. My mom buys things for my daughter and my wife all the time. She use to send formula home everyweek to help us out. Even my wifes brother and cousin see that my wife is like this and think its messed up. But the only problem is its really all me and my wife fight about, other than this were really good.

**dhriscerr** · 01-06-2007, 02:50 PM

Yeah but fvck man, Im going to college 20semester hours and working 40+ hours a week we bought a house and I have bills, the money isnt really there for marriage councilling. God I hate MY life right now

**prncezzml** · 01-06-2007, 02:51 PM

Maybe your mom says rude things to her when you're not around, and your wife doesn't want to tell you because she thinks you won't believe her. Just my experience....

**Anabolic CEO** · 01-06-2007, 02:51 PM

Good Luck!!!

**beuleux** · 01-06-2007, 04:41 PM

oops never mind

**dhriscerr** · 01-06-2007, 04:46 PM

Even if she did, and i doubt it but maybe? that should be between my wife and my mom there is no reason I shouldnt be able to take my own daughter over to see my mom

**king6** · 01-06-2007, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

Even if she did, and i doubt it but maybe? that should be between my wife and my mom there is no reason I shouldnt be able to take my own daughter over to see my mom

I would do it, tell your wife your taking your daughter over to see your mom, if she says no, then put your foot down. Tell her to stop acting like a psycho hose beast, and learn to deal with it.

**SS1476** · 01-06-2007, 10:21 PM

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

Even if she did, and i doubt it but maybe? that should be between my wife and my mom there is no reason I shouldnt be able to take my own daughter over to see my mom

Bro,I don't think its going to get better
by the sounds of it.Your mom does not
approve of her,that's a big issue right
there.If their not woman enough to put
their issues asside,then you will more
than likely go though this all the time.

**guest589745** · 01-06-2007, 10:41 PM

Sounds like yer wife is an asshole man, no offense but seriosuly.

Lay the ****in law down.

**spywizard** · 01-06-2007, 10:46 PM

you let it go too long, now you have to fix it..

you left your mothers home to have a relationship with this woman.. great.. you have a child now.. great..

it's your child ya know??? if you were to divorce, and get joint custody.. i bet ya your mother would help you raise the child while she was with you 6 months of the year..

but hey, your wife is in the wrong..

**spywizard** · 01-06-2007, 10:47 PM

your mom should not be using emotional blackmail with you either, threatening suicide is just wrong, i understand she is hurt, but my mom did not see my children more than everyother year and then only for like 3-4 days..

so i know what i am talking about..

**RockhardKnockout10** · 01-07-2007, 02:42 AM

First of all lets all breakdown the psychological warfare of WOMEN. No offense to any woman viewing this but as a female you definitely fight your battles way different then men do. Find out whatever your mother did to piss your g/f off......next find out what your g/f did to piss your mother off.....next mediate the situation....squash the beef and basically take back the head of your house and let them both know that as the man of the house you will not accept that kind of bickering and in the event of another altercation tell them up front to squash it and confront it before it escalates into your mom taking you out of the will.....

**dhriscerr** · 01-07-2007, 02:50 AM

Thanks guys, had along talk with my wife, she said she doesnt trust my mom or want to see her right now. And is mad that I am going to be taking our daughter over there by myself but finally said whatever. She thinks WE need to make more decisions, but ive told her all along that her decisions are irrational. She wants to go away this weekend and just be with her friend so i guess whatever she needs to do to figure it out. I cant play games anymore. If she leaves me I guess the court can figure it out.

**dhriscerr** · 01-07-2007, 02:57 AM

Side note, I was open about steriods with my wife. I havent actually taken them yet but have them here, and she told my mom, so now I have to deal with that issue, although not hard because im 23 and can make my own decisions, it's still stupid. If she hates my mom so much why would she even talk to her let alone tell her this shit, when she says that my mom is always in our buisness, but obviously she is throwing my buisness out to her!!! also Im scared she will bring this up if we do get a divorce in court and it will help her case to keep me from seeing my daughter or getting joint custody!!!

**RockhardKnockout10** · 01-07-2007, 03:03 AM

dude get rid of them hide them or something dont take them anytime b4 the divorce hearing if she breings that shit up then say well test me........i am goin through the same situation right now except my daughter is not here yet..........she will be born in feb and my wife did a lot of the samethings...i dont know what to say except........for good luck when it comes to custody by sheer virtue of our genetical make the odds are stacked against us when it comes to custody

**dhriscerr** · 01-07-2007, 03:06 AM

Chicks are evil life sucking cvnts!!!! damn them for having the one thing in life most of us need!!!

**RockhardKnockout10** · 01-07-2007, 03:11 AM

i hear ya man...........if you figure them out or come up w/ a solution let me know ive been trying to figure it out for a while now and the only explanation i have is that like you said they truly are evil at times....and they do have the most powerful bargaing tool ever

**Jason865** · 01-07-2007, 04:17 AM

Simple, quit crying and be a man.

**gixxerboy1** · 01-07-2007, 08:59 AM

This is going to sound like like an a-hole thing to say but its the truth.

You and your wife were to immature to get married and have a kid. Also you are kinda a mamma's boy.

I'm sorry but you are married with your own family. That should be your number 1 priority. You should care about how your mom's feels but your family comes first including your wife.

Good luck with everything.

**spywizard** · 01-07-2007, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

Side note, I was open about steriods with my wife. I havent actually taken them yet but have them here, and she told my mom, so now I have to deal with that issue, although not hard because im 23 and can make my own decisions, it's still stupid. If she hates my mom so much why would she even talk to her let alone tell her this shit, when she says that my mom is always in our buisness, but obviously she is throwing my buisness out to her!!! also Im scared she will bring this up if we do get a divorce in court and it will help her case to keep me from seeing my daughter or getting joint custody!!!

what proof does she have that do steroids ?? did you get a test??

clean house now.. and never admit to anyone.. not your mom, not anyone..

period..

i have 3 guys right now that will testify in court that they have had sex with my wife if we were to divorce... get the point.. i don't but she doesn't know that..

good luck

**Panzerfaust** · 01-07-2007, 10:28 AM

I'll tell you one thing right now, why the **** don't you man up and tell your wife she can go straight to goddamn hell and that your Mom & Dad can come over any ****ing time they want!

Sounds like to me you let your wife run the roost.

**king6** · 01-07-2007, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

Side note, I was open about steriods with my wife. I havent actually taken them yet but have them here, and she told my mom, so now I have to deal with that issue, although not hard because im 23 and can make my own decisions, it's still stupid. If she hates my mom so much why would she even talk to her let alone tell her this shit, when she says that my mom is always in our buisness, but obviously she is throwing my buisness out to her!!! also Im scared she will bring this up if we do get a divorce in court and it will help her case to keep me from seeing my daughter or getting joint custody!!!

Wow dude, she sounds evil. If push comes to shove, and she tries to take your daughter away, just run away to Canada. They wont be able to take any legal action then. At least I don't think they can.

**Mike Dura** · 01-07-2007, 01:30 PM

Her behavior, as you pointed out earlier, is contradictory and irrational. She seems to have little sense of boundary by "spilling the beans" after you confided in her. If she can't be a trusted confidant, then what's the point? Nail and bail! Get your kick in before the sheeeeet house burns down! Maybe you can get her to "swing" with you or what ever your fantasy is.

If you're not in a place emotionally to do the above than think practically: You may want to consider getting legal advice and take some pre-emptive action now because that situation seems inevitably doomed. Your not dealing with a rational person and the idea that it can be fixed is probably misguided.

So what to do? Maybe you can "stage" a throwing out of the steroids . Say to her, yeah, this is wrong and throw out decoy gear and take the real gear in secret. You also may seek to find incrimanating info on her so you are not at a disadvantage legally. You gotta think and take action bro because this is going down the tubes for sure. Now it's about damage control and smarts. Good luck bro! Also, if you're hurting over this, get social support and see what resources are available to you - counseling is do-able (sliding scale payments, etc). Just don't confide (your problems) to the wrong people! Use better judgement! Think!

Originally Posted by dhriscerr

Chicks are evil life sucking cvnts!!!! damn them for having the one thing in life most of us need!!!

**Hunter** · 01-07-2007, 02:34 PM

I was blessed with a great family and it sounds like family is very loving and caring. You gotta back family's play most of the time esp if you are close. Your wife sounds cruel and vindictive. On the note about aas, she has no proof. Throwing claims out there goes to ways. Also was she like this before you married her?