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  1. #1
    Nathan's Avatar
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    So I says, "You can take those potato chips and cram them up your ass!"

    Is it just me or is it really hard to urinate when there is someone at the urinal next to you? Especially if it's my boss. It gets me nervous. I start to sweat and think to myself, "What if I urinate too fast? Or too hard? What if I somehow slip and lose control of my penis and urinate all over this poor bastard next to me? What if the feces I keep tucked away in my right pocket somehow slips out and onto his foot? What if I say something weird by accident like, 'You know, horses have huge penises. They must be like 2 feet long at least I swear. I saw one erect one time. It was neat.'?"
    It's a lot to handle and quite frankly, more often than not, I just stand there whistling with no urniation going on whatsoever until the guy leaves. I love you guys so much.

  2. #2
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    ....and we love you Nathan, yes we do

  3. #3
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    Nathan, you make me so happy to be female. I have never once had to worry about peeing on the person next to me.

    I do quite often say something stupid by accident, but can't say it's ever pertained to a horse's penis....

  4. #4
    Pheedno is offline Respected Member
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    Well Nate, I can't recall a similar event happening to me. I have seen a guy piss on himself in full force in the mens bathroom of a bar I was at one time. I don't know if he was thinking about horses or feces though.
    I guess the only thing I can do is wish you a better turd hosing experience for next time.

  5. #5
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Pheedno
    Well Nate, I can't recall a similar event happening to me.
    Okay, no offense though but you're a little bit strange so that might explain it.

  6. #6
    Shredz is offline Respected Member
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    Nathan!! I really think that you will be alright. EVENTUALLY!

  7. #7
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    I don't really get nervous, but I get scared that the guy next to me will look over and check how things are going down there.

  8. #8
    Pheedno is offline Respected Member
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    Originally posted by Nathan


    Okay, no offense though but you're a little bit strange so that might explain it.
    No offense taken my horse penis, pocketed feces friend;
    I am a little strange. None the less, i think next time you should go ahead and piss on your boss, or ask him about those horse penises. Who knows you might spark an interest or an undying love.

  9. #9
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    Re: So I says, "You can take those potato chips and cram them up your ass!"

    Originally posted by Nathan
    What if I somehow slip and lose control of my penis and urinate all over this poor bastard next to me?

  10. #10
    NightOp is offline Member
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    ROFL to the first post

  11. #11
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    hahaha wtf wierd shit hahha keep em commin

  12. #12
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    HAHAHA , and 1 time in band camp we were standing by the urinal's I pissed all over the counselor's leg.... Hilarious post nathan

  13. #13
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    you like horses too huh......haha

  14. #14
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    I always forget to take the feces out of my pocket. Always goes through the wash.

  15. #15
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    Re: So I says, "You can take those potato chips and cram them up your ass!"

    Originally posted by Nathan
    It gets me nervous. I start to sweat and think to myself, "What if I urinate too fast? Or too hard? What if I somehow slip and lose control of my penis and urinate all over this poor bastard next to me?
    Yeah, but I bet you'd do it voluntarily if CYC was at the next urinal.

  16. #16
    tt333 is offline Senior Member
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    I have a horses dick!!!!! Honest

  17. #17
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    Re: Re: So I says, "You can take those potato chips and cram them up your ass!"

    Originally posted by EXCESS

    Yeah, but I bet you'd do it voluntarily if CYC was at the next urinal.
    That's correct. If CYC was at the urinal next to me I'd use an old trick from way back when I was like 5 years old. You pinch your foreskin and then urinate trying to build it up without letting it spill and then once you have reached a critical mass you let go and urine flies in every which direction. You tend to get a little wet yourself but it is the best way to to the most damage in one shot to the jackass next to you.

  18. #18
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    Re: Re: Re: So I says, "You can take those potato chips and cram them up your ass!"

    Originally posted by Nathan


    That's correct. If CYC was at the urinal next to me I'd use an old trick from way back when I was like 5 years old. You pinch your foreskin and then urinate trying to build it up without letting it spill and then once you have reached a critical mass you let go and urine flies in every which direction. You tend to get a little wet yourself but it is the best way to to the most damage in one shot to the jackass next to you.
    Too fuckin Funy Nate!

  19. #19
    KeyMastur is offline VET
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    Nathan, I'm right there with you. I get that nervous feeling whenever I'm at a bar or a stadium where there's many stalls lined up. For some reason I just can't tinkle as bad as I had to 5 minutes before. I get big time stage fright. Sometimes I just walk off and come back later. Sometimes I just stand there until the guy next to me is done, making it look like I'm wizzin - hopin he's not lookin down and catching my bluff.

  20. #20
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    I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

  21. #21
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    Originally posted by tigress
    I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
    I just drag mine behind me like a tail.

  22. #22
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    Re: Re: Re: So I says, "You can take those potato chips and cram them up your ass!"

    Originally posted by Nathan


    That's correct. If CYC was at the urinal next to me I'd use an old trick from way back when I was like 5 years old. You pinch your foreskin and then urinate trying to build it up without letting it spill and then once you have reached a critical mass you let go and urine flies in every which direction. You tend to get a little wet yourself but it is the best way to to the most damage in one shot to the jackass next to you.
    LOL...how old are guys when they figure this stuff out??

  23. #23
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    Re: Re: Re: Re: So I says, "You can take those potato chips and cram them up your ass!"

    Originally posted by Cali


    LOL...how old are guys when they figure this stuff out??
    It depends on the individual. I had a tendency to play with myself and hump inanimate objects as a very young child so I learned quicker than most.

  24. #24
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    I get the same way.....just the other day my friends talking to me while were pissing im like wtf your making it crawl back up...and then he started making gay noises what kind of idiot does that... i dont know how the guys in the army take shits next to each other in some places theres no stalls just toilets lined up......i would be constipated the whole time......

  25. #25
    Cycleon is offline AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
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    Re: Re: Re: So I says, "You can take those potato chips and cram them up your ass!"

    Originally posted by Nathan


    That's correct. If CYC was at the urinal next to me I'd use an old trick from way back when I was like 5 years old. You pinch your foreskin and then urinate trying to build it up without letting it spill and then once you have reached a critical mass you let go and urine flies in every which direction. You tend to get a little wet yourself but it is the best way to to the most damage in one shot to the jackass next to you.
    Nathan would use any excuse to show me his penis

  26. #26
    wyz1 is offline New Member
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    I got the same problem but its situational I guess... Like I was in the USMC for four years and they piss test you and they actually watch the piss go out and into the cup to make sure that you aren't messing with it.. man I would have to drink all night and hold it tell I couldn't anymore just to go...

    But in boot camp, you had like 3 guys to a urinal and shit and it was like no big deal you run in you piss you run back out cause you either went then or you were gonna be the idiot pissin yourself (which a few did the first few days)..

    Now crappin that was a different story.. I went at night while everyone else was sleeping got that shit down to a schedule... wake up at like 1 a.m. go crap... D.I.'s were asleep only person up was firewatch..


    boy the things you can discuss on a message board ..

  27. #27
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  28. #28
    palme's Avatar
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    Originally posted by wyz1
    I got the same problem but its situational I guess... Like I was in the USMC for four years and they piss test you and they actually watch the piss go out and into the cup to make sure that you aren't messing with it.. man I would have to drink all night and hold it tell I couldn't anymore just to go...

    But in boot camp, you had like 3 guys to a urinal and shit and it was like no big deal you run in you piss you run back out cause you either went then or you were gonna be the idiot pissin yourself (which a few did the first few days)..

    Now crappin that was a different story.. I went at night while everyone else was sleeping got that shit down to a schedule... wake up at like 1 a.m. go crap... D.I.'s were asleep only person up was firewatch..


    boy the things you can discuss on a message board ..
    Life is though sometimes bro

  29. #29
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    I forgot to mention probation the first time i went to take a drug test. Im turning away from the guy and pissing in the cup. The guys like if its your first time read the wall ...... The walll said turn towards the guy or whatever hes called and piss in front of him......man i couldn't even piss i was squeezing it out just to get drops i felt so embarrassed..imagine a big tall guy watching you piss....lucky i dont have to do that anymore....i wonder what those people that work taking piss tell there families......" Yeah i look at cocks all day taking urine tests " they better be making a lot to look at cocks all day

  30. #30
    the nature boy is offline New Member
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    tsk tsk, this is recycled material nathan. I'm dissapointed.

  31. #31
    smallmovesal is offline Female Member
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    Originally posted by the nature boy
    tsk tsk, this is recycled material nathan. I'm dissapointed.
    haha i was avoiding saying that.

  32. #32
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    The best trick is to get a squirt bottle and fill it with Mountain Dew and go into a stall while someone is taking a shit in the stall next to it. Squirt the MD in the toilet like you are peeing, fake a sneeze and then spray it all over the feet of the guy in the next stall. Say "Oh shit!!! I'm sorry man". If he tries to kick your ass, run like hell.

  33. #33
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    latman, why not use actual piss!? lol

    nathan, IM coming out of the closet on this one as well... it helps when I think about dbol for some reason.. or winny.,

  34. #34
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by the nature boy
    tsk tsk, this is recycled material nathan. I'm dissapointed.
    Actually, jackass, I posted it here at the same time. I felt bad since I'd been spending so much time over on the EF chat board what with all the drama so I thought it wouldn't step on anyone's toes to post it here too. Say, why don't you go frolick somethin' fierce with some tiny woodland creatures. I NEVER recycle material really. At least to the best of my recollection.

  35. #35
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    man its been a while (ive been traveling) and just now i realize i miss you guys...you too nathan. this shit cracks me up.

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