Infertility

**Bruce000** · 02-14-2007, 05:46 AM

This is my first tread. Took me a while before I gathered enough courage to Post It.
When I was a baby i had surgery on my nuts. Unbeknown to me it F**ked every thing up. I got married with all the hopes and dreams that newly weds have. A year after getting married I went to a urologist, only to find out the bad news. Nine years later been for several test, but nothing.
The frustrating thing is that all my wife wants is a child and I cant give it to her. You can imagine what pressure this puts on a relationship. Month to month highs and lows.
Here's the hard part. We've decided to go for AI (artificial insemination). So far we've had eight attempts, but no go. The thing is were using donor sperm. As you can imagine this is very hard. We cant tell anyone. And I cant talk to anyone about it. So I thought I could vent here. The problem is no one really takes into consideration what the man is going through. All support is given to the woman in the relationship. This is what happens in an average month. Two weeks in to month wife gets excited because she is doing something about it AI. At least a week after no sex. Week before cycle starts Anxiety not knowing if were pregnant. End of last week period comes DEPRESSION hits. This is a month to month roller coaster ride. In the meantime I feel like a bystander. Not really needed. My wife tries to reassure me. But can't help feeling the way I do. Anyway thanks for listening. There must be some others guys experiencing the same thing. Any way thanks for listening.

**acciaio** · 02-14-2007, 06:27 AM

I'm with you man.... Cheer up, i know that's not an easy situation but just think that you and your wife love eachother and you can fight together to solve your problems...

**Bruce000** · 02-14-2007, 06:54 AM

Thanks Bro. Our love is strong. Just don't know how long it can keep us together.

**acciaio** · 02-14-2007, 08:01 AM

It is in hard situation that love will temper, you'll be stronger after all of this passes... It takes a man to face such an hard situation, you're great!

**Bruce000** · 02-14-2007, 08:25 AM

Thanks for the kind words. Really appreciate it.

**prncezzml** · 02-14-2007, 09:38 AM

Have you thought of adoption?

**X-Damien** · 02-14-2007, 09:42 AM

takes a lot to share this, hang in there bro!

**MotoLifter** · 02-14-2007, 09:58 AM

thats a tough issue to deal with bro. I give you alot of respect for mentioning it, and even more for living it everyday. I wish you and your wife the best of luck. Keep us informed.

**Bruce000** · 02-14-2007, 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by prncezzml

Have you thought of adoption?

Thank you all for the kind words. It is really heart worming. Thanks for the support it really means alot/ But yes we have thought of adoption.
The problem is since we went through all the social workers in our area. In about five years none of them have even come over for a house inspection. We even went the private social worker way. About 5 years ago but still nothing

**l2elapse** · 02-14-2007, 12:59 PM

i would recommend you pm Mavsluva, hes got great advice

**mavsluva** · 02-14-2007, 01:02 PM

Check this out. I'm right there with you Bruce. Feel free to PM me.

**Link edited on 2/15/07**

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...86817887&hl=en

**spywizard** · 02-14-2007, 01:04 PM

been there and done that.. had a reversal, then production up to 64,000,000 sperm.. but the wife can't get prego.. did the AI.. still no good.. did invetro... $$$$... not successful...

the drugs were the worst for her, the bloating, the frustration.. this past month still again, a little spotting, then two weeks of nothing, very hopeful, then craps and her period.. a sad day before v-day...

you are not alone... keep busy, relax and enjoy your life..

**prncezzml** · 02-14-2007, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by Bruce000

Thank you all for the kind words. It is really heart worming. Thanks for the support it really means alot/ But yes we have thought of adoption.
The problem is since we went through all the social workers in our area. In about five years none of them have even come over for a house inspection. We even went the private social worker way. About 5 years ago but still nothing

What about an international adoption? I know my uncle is doing that, in Vietnam. It is expensive though.

**Tock** · 02-14-2007, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by Bruce000

In the meantime I feel like a bystander. Not really needed.

Anyone can be a father. But it takes a special person to be a daddy.

Look at all the schmucks who get their girl friends pregnant, then skip town. Then look at yourself, fully prepared to take on the bigger challenge and responsibility for raising another human being.

Ya, for the moment, your part in all this may be minimal, but before long, your participation will be critical. You're doing the right thing, there's no reason for shame. And anyone else who thinks less of you because your 'nads ain't making sperm, well, they're (1) wrong, (2) stupid, (3) not minding their own business, (4) idiots, and probably the sort who'd complain if they were hung with a new rope.

ugh.

You're doing just fine. Screw what other people think. Don't be afraid to tell other people the circumstances of the kid's birth, as it won't make any legal difference. Just prepare to be a good parent to the kid, and that is what will be the most important thing . . .

Good luck . . .

**Bruce000** · 02-15-2007, 05:41 AM

Originally Posted by mavsluva

Check this out. I'm right there with you Bruce. Feel free to PM me.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...86817887&hl=en

Soryy Mavsluva, It opened up With Google Beta. But nothing else opened up.
Cheers
B

**Bruce000** · 02-15-2007, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by spywizard

been there and done that.. had a reversal, then production up to 64,000,000 sperm.. but the wife can't get prego.. did the AI.. still no good.. did invetro... $$$$... not successful...

the drugs were the worst for her, the bloating, the frustration.. this past month still again, a little spotting, then two weeks of nothing, very hopeful, then craps and her period.. a sad day before v-day...

you are not alone... keep busy, relax and enjoy your life..

We want to go invetro but as you say $$$$. Only can afford AI for now. Who knows maybe our situation will change and we could afford it. I See you know what I'm talking about regarding "Monthly Roller Coaster Ride"

**Bruce000** · 02-15-2007, 05:49 AM

Originally Posted by prncezzml

What about an international adoption? I know my uncle is doing that, in Vietnam. It is expensive though.

A bit too expensive for us. Have looked into it but Rand Dollar exchange a bit too High. Who am i kidding even if it was lower still wouldn't be able to afford it. Thanks for the ideas though.

**Bruce000** · 02-15-2007, 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by Tock

Anyone can be a father. But it takes a special person to be a daddy.

Look at all the schmucks who get their girl friends pregnant, then skip town. Then look at yourself, fully prepared to take on the bigger challenge and responsibility for raising another human being.

Ya, for the moment, your part in all this may be minimal, but before long, your participation will be critical. You're doing the right thing, there's no reason for shame. And anyone else who thinks less of you because your 'nads ain't making sperm, well, they're (1) wrong, (2) stupid, (3) not minding their own business, (4) idiots, and probably the sort who'd complain if they were hung with a new rope.

ugh.

You're doing just fine. Screw what other people think. Don't be afraid to tell other people the circumstances of the kid's birth, as it won't make any legal difference. Just prepare to be a good parent to the kid, and that is what will be the most important thing . . .

Good luck . . .

Soo true. I had a chat to my wife. I think I'm suffering a from a bit of Self Pity. But I cant help what I'm feeling. My wife is really trying her best. Just trying to put on a brave face and be there for her. I apologised to her for being a little self centred.
I really appreciate your input.
Thanks
B

**mavsluva** · 02-15-2007, 08:06 AM

It's weird because when I copy and paste the URL to this page, the link changes for whatever reason. I'll try it again:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...86817887&hl=en

**IBdmfkr** · 02-15-2007, 09:28 AM

I'd consider adopting as well, if not you could send your wife over to spend the weekend and when she gets back all your problems will be solved.

j/k bro goodluck.

**Hunter** · 02-15-2007, 09:34 AM

Really a what makes a child your child is the morals you teach them, the love you give them, etc. A child being half yours by dna doesn't make it anymore your child then adoption. Good luck bruce

**Bruce000** · 02-15-2007, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by mavsluva

It's weird because when I copy and paste the URL to this page, the link changes for whatever reason. I'll try it again:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...86817887&hl=en

Thanks Mavsluva I managed to get it right the second time. Wow you have been through a lot. It makes my situation look like kindergarten. There's a saying that I've quoted a couple of times. "You cry because you don't have shoes, but there is always someone with out feet" Maybe I should practice what i preach. Wow hats off to you. I know God has given you the strength. Because it is humanly impossible to cope with what you've been through.

**Bruce000** · 02-15-2007, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by mn_fighter

Really a what makes a child your child is the morals you teach them, the love you give them, etc. A child being half yours by dna doesn't make it anymore your child then adoption. Good luck bruce

Thanks Fighter