Losing my girlfriend

**transform** · 03-25-2007, 05:13 AM

I was going out with a girl for a year, but its prety much over now (she wants to meet face to face to end it during the week coz she cant do it right now). Im devestated. I honestly didnt see this coming. I knew there was something bothering her for the last week or so, but nothing this severe. Anyway, I love her to bits, shes the first girl Iv ever truly loved and ever told I loved and she was the first girl I had sex with (I was her first too). She says she just thinks its run its course......

Anyway, I want to know what I should do. I told her Id love to try work on things and continue to be boyfriend and girlfriend but that if shes unhappy Ill understand and we can be friends. But I honestly dont know if I can accept being just friends with her and being around her if she finds a new boyfriend and so on, but the thoughts of never seeing her again are really upsetting me.... Should I just back off and leave her and go cold turkey, or can things like this work out and be 'just friends'? I know what Im feeling now will die down and Ill get better, but she'll always be more than just a friend. Id love if we even ended up going out again in the future if she wanted to give it another try.

Anyway, to people who have been in this situation, what should I do or is there any hope at all for a renewal of things or will I be able to just accept being friends? I feel so gutted.... We're both in our early 20's BTW. Havnt posted here in ages, just needed to write it down I guess

**Kevinjg** · 03-25-2007, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by transform

I was going out with a girl for a year, but its prety much over now (she wants to meet face to face to end it during the week coz she cant do it right now). Im devestated. I honestly didnt see this coming. I knew there was something bothering her for the last week or so, but nothing this severe. Anyway, I love her to bits, shes the first girl Iv ever truly loved and ever told I loved and she was the first girl I had sex with (I was her first too). She says she just thinks its run its course......

Anyway, I want to know what I should do. I told her Id love to try work on things and continue to be boyfriend and girlfriend but that if shes unhappy Ill understand and we can be friends. But I honestly dont know if I can accept being just friends with her and being around her if she finds a new boyfriend and so on, but the thoughts of never seeing her again are really upsetting me.... Should I just back off and leave her and go cold turkey, or can things like this work out and be 'just friends'? I know what Im feeling now will die down and Ill get better, but she'll always be more than just a friend. Id love if we even ended up going out again in the future if she wanted to give it another try.

Anyway, to people who have been in this situation, what should I do or is there any hope at all for a renewal of things or will I be able to just accept being friends? I feel so gutted.... We're both in our early 20's BTW. Havnt posted here in ages, just needed to write it down I guess

It's going to be hard staying friends, especially of she starts seeing some1 else you'll want to rip his head off. The longer u stay friends u'll think you've still got a chance with her! u just need to get over her! it's all or nothing i say. just start shagging around it worked for me, u'll think it'll never get better but that feeling goes away, i was in ur position 3 years ago, i was with sum1 for 4 years. just look at the relationship u were in was a learning curb, don;t think ur realtionship was a waste of time. Learn from it. Seroius dude u'll meet some1 else! i thought i wouldnt and know i'm with the girl of my dream and were getting married in 18 months!

Ur mates will look after, but for the time being keep ur chin up and enjoy urself, you are only young enjoy life whilst u can B4 u meet the 1 for you.

Hope this helps!

**transform** · 03-25-2007, 06:28 AM

Yea thanks, that does help. The writing is pretty much on the wall regards the end, but she wants to wait til mid-week to face me and talk, which is nice of her, just hate the wait when I know theres no hope. Im not the first person on earth to be in this position though, and Im sure I wont be the last

I really hope we stay mates, but as it is now I dunno....

Thanks for the reply

**Pooks** · 03-25-2007, 06:33 AM

The first one is the hardest and most painful, but It sounds to me like you are understand this really well,and are being reasonable about it. Props to you bro if you end up getting out of this relationship gracefully and respectfully with most of your dignity.

**Kevinjg** · 03-25-2007, 06:46 AM

Originally Posted by Pooks

The first one is the hardest and most painful, but It sounds to me like you are understand this really well,and are being reasonable about it. Props to you bro if you end up getting out of this relationship gracefully and respectfully with most of your dignity.

Yeah it's a killer, Shit happens tho!
Don't jump striaght in2 another relationship tho! it's the easiest thing to do. If the worse happens just enjoy and ****, **** **** until the old boy cant take no more or if it falls off. ha ha

Just take it easy. Think of all those free women out there! theres plent for you.

**ru-ga-ru** · 03-25-2007, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by Pooks

The first one is the hardest and most painful, but It sounds to me like you are understand this really well,and are being reasonable about it. Props to you bro if you end up getting out of this relationship gracefully and respectfully with most of your dignity.

+1. Yep. The first real love you have is allways the hardest to get over. But there are many out there.

**pwerfll1** · 03-25-2007, 10:22 AM

time to celabrate yipeeeeee

**Testsubject** · 03-25-2007, 10:33 AM

first love first girl you banged, get over it bro, find someone else and get the hell over it, if shes telling you she wants it to be over, the worste thing for you do to is 'be friends', cuz your just gonna keep yourself hanging on to something that will never be again, IMHO I would never talk to her again or hang out with her again and move on with your life, find another girl, dont become a herrmit or something and get all deppressed. My advice for futrure relationship is to NOT let yourself get that attached to the girl dont make her your life, thats a mistake IMO.

**Flagg** · 03-25-2007, 10:34 AM

Hey man, I know what you mean about how hard it'll be to stay friends with an ex, i've never done it. It really sucks but hey, she's at least doing the decent thing by telling you to your face so she at least has respect for you.

**B-STRONG** · 03-25-2007, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by transform

... shes the first girl Iv ever truly loved and ever told I loved and she was the first girl I had sex with (I was her first too).

I had the EXACT same situation a few years ago. It went like this...we tried to remain friends, but the simple fact is, everytime I heard she got with another guy or was interested in someone, I lost my lid. It got bad enough to the point where my brother slapped me around and told me to cut her out completely. I didn;t speak to her or see her for about a year, and it made it soooo much easier. Ironically, we are now pretty good friends, and I couldn't give a f8ck about who she brings home. Good luck bro, it's tough getting over the first one. -B-STRONG

**transform** · 03-25-2007, 11:15 AM

Thanks for the replies everyone. Anyways, just rang her and had a nice talk. She just felt that she was young and the fact we were going out so long suddenly seemed like alot for her since we're both so young. TBH, Iv felt the exact same at 2 points during the relationship actually so know where shes coming from. So its over. Im just glad it was on good terms and we're both willing to stay friends, but need to go seperate ways. We both really care about each other though and want to keep in touch and remain friends and didnt rule out future relationships, but tbh I know its over on that front..... Im really sad but just glad the whole thing is sorted and over now. Thanks for the feedback everyone. Time for me to get back to lifting now I think

**novastepp** · 03-25-2007, 11:42 AM

what i would do is end it respectfully. listen to her and breakup and keep your dignity. then remove all trace of her for about 4-5 months. (im name, phone number, pictures) you won't be able to be friends at first. you need the time away from her. after a good while you will automatically be friends. its weird how it works, you will say hi and maybe see one another some where and it won't be emotional for you, but everything will work out if you keep a clear head and stay away. it is actually a great time to cut. all the time you spent with her could be time for cardio. so when you bump into one another you can say hi and walk by knowing she is looking at how damn good you look. good luck you can do it bro.

**Timm1704** · 03-25-2007, 12:35 PM

i have been in the exact same situation bro, it was like i wrote the post lol!

it was real hard for awhile there, we didnt see each other for awhile after we split, i started seeing someone, then we bumped into each other and said we would go out for a drink to catch up. we did, it went great, then we went the cinema afew nites later, and i dumped the girl i was seeing as i wanted to get back with the ex. all the feelings, and thensome, flooded back. this never happened, again i got hurt, but its cool, always is, after awhile.

i dont really see her around anymore, the odd message on the net here and there, but to be honest you forget they ever existed, and not in a harsh way, but just you have absolutely zero feelings or emotions when you look back. at one stage i thought i would always love her, and always feel something, and that it would kill me to not 'know' her anymore. it doesnt, i really have no feelings in regards to her, fond memories, sure, but nothing more. i even see the odd picture of her, or see her about, and cant understand what attracted me to her.

**transform** · 03-25-2007, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by Timm1704

i have been in the exact same situation bro, it was like i wrote the post lol!

it was real hard for awhile there, we didnt see each other for awhile after we split, i started seeing someone, then we bumped into each other and said we would go out for a drink to catch up. we did, it went great, then we went the cinema afew nites later, and i dumped the girl i was seeing as i wanted to get back with the ex. all the feelings, and thensome, flooded back. this never happened, again i got hurt, but its cool, always is, after awhile.

i dont really see her around anymore, the odd message on the net here and there, but to be honest you forget they ever existed, and not in a harsh way, but just you have absolutely zero feelings or emotions when you look back. at one stage i thought i would always love her, and always feel something, and that it would kill me to not 'know' her anymore. it doesnt, i really have no feelings in regards to her, fond memories, sure, but nothing more. i even see the odd picture of her, or see her about, and cant understand what attracted me to her.

Thanks alot mate. Iv been in situations were Iv felt overwhelmed with emotions and stuff before that I thought would never change, buit they did and Im sure this will be the same but harder. Nice hearing about other people in those situations and the experiences they had.

***Doc.Sust*** · 03-25-2007, 02:52 PM

you ared oig th ebest thingm there is nothing u can do to make her stay, let her go, and move on, it is hard, but in time, it will be ok

**Mr Tick** · 03-25-2007, 03:51 PM

Time heals all wounds.

**Chitown Raider** · 03-25-2007, 04:32 PM

I was in the same situation a couple weeks ago. I really didn't see it coming but I noticed she was hanging out with her friends more than us hanging out. I asked her straight out and she said she doesn't think she has the same feelings for me anymore. I thought about the situation and weighed the pro's and the cons. I asked her to think about it and I wanted to give it another try. Well, she agreed to got out to dinner to take this slowly. That time came and I got an excuse, she promised the next day and I got another excuse. So I say f*ck it, move on and have fun out there are so many single women.

**johnmacdan** · 03-25-2007, 07:38 PM

I can only speak from experience, but I'm a firm believer that you don't get over a love until you get another one. Even random sex won't do it, but it helps. I have also never been able to be friends with a woman. I either want to sleep with them or end up sleeping with them. Could be why I pissed away alot of good women growing up.

You WILL get over her if you want to. Throw yourself out there maybe hook up to fill the void and then you will find someone you start to like again. This has happened to everyone who ever dated so your not by yourself.

**Rye_guy** · 03-26-2007, 12:29 AM

damn bro, you need a rebound shag

**king6** · 03-26-2007, 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by Snrfmaster

**Schmidty** · 03-26-2007, 09:03 AM

Originally Posted by Rye_guy

damn bro, you need a rebound shag

thats what im sayin

**jsokcmo** · 03-29-2007, 06:51 PM

Best way to forget her is to cut her off & go find yourself a quick piece of ass.. Easyer said then done though... good luck man... You will forget her after awhile man.. just keep yourself busy

**wishmasterATM** · 03-29-2007, 09:53 PM

dude best way, just start hating her...works always for me..remember her bad habits or whatever....works like a charm..but hang in there bro....

**anabolicshark** · 03-29-2007, 11:23 PM

nothing really helps...
the first one is when you actually figure out what will help you infuture... keep your head up take it like a man... dont try to remeber any cute memories... be as calm as you can when she talks and goes away.. and then go do chest.... at least youll bench your max ( I DID,-true story 405, may 3rd 2002)

**bulldawg_28** · 03-30-2007, 12:00 AM

I went through the same shit not too long ago. Don't make the same mistake that I did. I vented to the wrong people that went right back to her. She knew how much I was hurt. What you need to do is put a smile on your face whenever you see her or ANYBODY she knows. Don't talk about her in front of anyone, if anyone asks you about her say "I dont know, we haven't talked in awhile." The immediately change the subject.

In the meantime, go out with your boys to clubs, titty bars, etc. Go out and do ALL the things she would have gotten pissed off at you for. If she got pissed at you for talking to her friends, spending so much time in the gym, going to titty bars, etc then go out and do it! Flirt with as many women as you can, get as many numbers as your can. Have sex with as many women as you can.

Then when you meet another girl, you will have learned from your last relationship on how you should treat her, and how you should handle certain situations. It will better. But if it ends in another break up, scroll back up and re-read my post.

**AandF6969** · 03-30-2007, 01:09 AM

Get a hotter one.

**goodcents** · 03-30-2007, 11:53 AM

Yet another guy destroyed by a chic

Welcome to the club

**goodcents** · 03-30-2007, 11:54 AM

Fuk her friend, then she will want you back, that's how bltches think

**spywizard** · 03-30-2007, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by transform

I was going out with a girl for a year, but its prety much over now (she wants to meet face to face to end it during the week coz she cant do it right now). Im devestated. I honestly didnt see this coming. I knew there was something bothering her for the last week or so, but nothing this severe. Anyway, I love her to bits, shes the first girl Iv ever truly loved and ever told I loved and she was the first girl I had sex with (I was her first too). She says she just thinks its run its course......

Anyway, I want to know what I should do. I told her Id love to try work on things and continue to be boyfriend and girlfriend but that if shes unhappy Ill understand and we can be friends. But I honestly dont know if I can accept being just friends with her and being around her if she finds a new boyfriend and so on, but the thoughts of never seeing her again are really upsetting me.... Should I just back off and leave her and go cold turkey, or can things like this work out and be 'just friends'? I know what Im feeling now will die down and Ill get better, but she'll always be more than just a friend. Id love if we even ended up going out again in the future if she wanted to give it another try.

Anyway, to people who have been in this situation, what should I do or is there any hope at all for a renewal of things or will I be able to just accept being friends? I feel so gutted.... We're both in our early 20's BTW. Havnt posted here in ages, just needed to write it down I guess

If a girl chooses another guy, she is dead to me.. end of relationship, and don't call me at 1:30am to come get you cause you are too drunk to drive..

ending a relationship is like the death of a loved one, you need to take time to mourn the loss, take your time and just take what you have learned from this relationship and remember life is a journey, not a destination..

good luck..

**K.Biz** · 03-30-2007, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

If a girl chooses another guy, she is dead to me.. end of relationship, and don't call me at 1:30am to come get you cause you are too drunk to drive..

ending a relationship is like the death of a loved one, you need to take time to mourn the loss, take your time and just take what you have learned from this relationship and remember life is a journey, not a destination..
good luck..

damn bro thats some deep sh*t

. good advice though

**biggerisbetter2006** · 04-03-2007, 11:54 PM

Cut ALL ties for good. Unless you are over her (in the future) dont talk to her at all. You cant be friends unless you have moved on and even then it can be next to impossible. It took me over 2 years of trying to be friends with my ex to realize this. Someone else said it earlier, if u are friends you may think you still have a chance or should be with that person b/c you really arent opening up to anyone else or letting that person go completely. Letting go after 6 yrs was the best thing that ever happnd to me. Good luck!

**transform** · 04-04-2007, 01:57 AM

Thanks for the advice all. Just pissed off with the situation. She suggested Sunday over the phone after a long talk that we try things again, just much more casual and see how that went, but yesterday when we met face to face she said she wants no contact for 7 or 8 weeks or so (after my exams) to see how things are then and it was blatently obvious she was pissed off to see me (meeting was her idea btw), and I know what her 'feelings' are gonna be in 7 or 8 weeks. Just really tired of all this crap of being constantly confused by what shes saying and not getting any definitive answers, like Im being constantly messed around and mislead but she isnt the type of person to do something like that, so Im not gonna speak to her or see her anymore. TBH, Im kinda suspicious she might be seeing someone else. Anyway, enough of that, just gonna lift and study for the next 8 weeks

**Timm1704** · 04-04-2007, 04:16 AM

ignore her bro. delete her numbers, email etc. hell if she speaks, be polite and reply, but dont reach out to her. be strong, man up, make the decision for yourself. tell her its over, and you dont want to be messed around anymore. take it with your own hands. whatever happens after your exams, if you try again, it will last a week, maybe two, tops, and guess where you will be? back where you were to start with, hurting, wanting her, confused. kill it now, and move on. the sooner you are free of the situation, the sooner you will be free of the hurt

**boostedevo8** · 04-04-2007, 05:40 AM

wow great advice on here.....

geez next time I have a chic prob I'm coming on here to talk about it......

dude if she was annoyed to see you and shes asking for a no contact break then you can bet for sure there is some one else......just 4get her and move on

**taiboxa** · 04-04-2007, 05:56 AM

Originally Posted by biggerisbetter2006

Cut ALL ties for good. Unless you are over her (in the future) dont talk to her at all. You cant be friends unless you have moved on and even then it can be next to impossible. It took me over 2 years of trying to be friends with my ex to realize this. Someone else said it earlier, if u are friends you may think you still have a chance or should be with that person b/c you really arent opening up to anyone else or letting that person go completely. Letting go after 6 yrs was the best thing that ever happnd to me. Good luck!

exactly!

and make sure u got lots of junkfood on hand i have found this cycle works great for break ups

wks 1-12 icecream E3D
wks 1-5 3xsnickers ED
wks 1-10 Reeses PB cups (MANDATORY!) 2xED
wks 8-14 3cups Chocolate milk ED

PCT = LOTS OF PORN!

**DNoMac** · 04-04-2007, 07:17 AM

From what you said, I got the idea that she was probably seeing/interested in someone else. It probably won't work out and she'll come crawling back to you. That is your opportunity to piss on her. Use it as motivation in the gym, that always makes for intense lifting sessions.

**bigger than you** · 04-04-2007, 07:28 AM

dude sounda like your very young first love... just move on find a rebound
you're to young to be stuck get out more see other girls or women hang out with the boys flirt more for goodness sake don't start drinking and getting depressed get some new ass

RA · 04-04-2007, 07:35 AM

I agree with cutting all ties. You dont want to be the "friend" thats just going to end up prolonging the break up. Move on.

**taiboxa** · 04-04-2007, 07:46 AM

Originally Posted by roidattack

I agree with cutting all ties. You dont want to be the "friend" thats just going to end up prolonging the break up. Move on.

i tried that w/ rhonda.. being friends after break up..
after bout 4 weeks of being apart we humped and got back together only to break up like 3months later lol this time we are good friends and dont have the urge to jump bak together.. beats me relationships are so effin weird

**Chitown Raider** · 04-04-2007, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by DNoMac

From what you said, I got the idea that she was probably seeing/interested in someone else. It probably won't work out and she'll come crawling back to you. That is your opportunity to piss on her. Use it as motivation in the gym, that always makes for intense lifting sessions.

good points