Why be gay? No religious posts

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 05:00 PM

Why be gay ?

I got this question from a friend today and I have to admit I do get it quite often. Kind of an odd question since it insinuates that being gay is a choice but I answered it. I used an analogy that helped him give him just a small glimpse of the “gay lifestyle.”

For all of you guys out there that have wives and girlfriends or have ever had a significant other you can easily relate to this. Picture this:

You have a women/man in your life that you care about. They make you feel good about yourself and you return the favor. Not as a chore but because just making the other person feel good makes you feel good. When you see the other person smile or giggle you can’t help but break out in laughter yourself enjoying the moment together. Now take this person and enter into “my world.”
Imagine people looking at your two and thinking, ewww that’s disgusting. Having people staring at you two when you get “too close” to each other in public. You might even see them whisper to their friends then turn your way and give you a look. Ok, I know what you are thinking, you are saying F them. We are happy with each other so who cares. Well imagine you two are walking home from a movie and you decide to hold hands. Someone sees that that doesn’t like it and attacks you two. So now you are fearful not so much for yourself but for your partner. You no longer hold hands, kiss , or show any affection in public because you don’t want to see anything happen to who you are with. On top of that some of your friends stop being your friend just because you two are together. Maybe even your parents look down on you now in disappointment.

Why am I typing this? I just want other people to see where I am coming from. Do I want peoples pity ? No. I want to be left alone like everyone else. I want to be able to hug the person I love without having to worry about being followed at home that night because someone wants to harm me for who I am. I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder before I give a kiss to the person I love. I don’t want to have to lie to people that I work with telling him I have a girlfriend because I know my job could be in jeopardy if it got out. These are the things I deal with on a daily basis.

So what can others do to help? Absolutely nothing. If you see gay people in public and can’t say anything nice then just turn away. If you feel the need to make a comment, go ahead but make it to yourself and not out loud where others can hear it.

Treat people the way you would want others to treat your family members.

Now how can anyone say I would choose to have a life like this? If I had the choice to be as happy with a girl as I am with another guy I would hands down take the girl in a second. I know this will never happen but am just reiterating the fact that I am what I am and there is nothing I can do about it.

Thanks for reading.

**notus** · 07-13-2007, 05:09 PM

Not sure what to say...

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 05:13 PM

Originally Posted by notus

Not sure what to say...

Honestly, nothing even needs to be said. I just want to try and help people see the other side of the coin. Most don't understand because they have never been there which is understandable but not an excuse to hurt someone else.

**thetank** · 07-13-2007, 05:20 PM

i had this exact same discussion with a guy i work with..hes kind of homophobic, and has the same theory..that sexuality is a choice, that sexual attraction is what you learn, not what you were born with. he thinks gay guys were all raised by single mothers or lesbians, or hung around their big sisters too much..which floored me...cause hes actually a pretty smart guy. its just funny hearing someones perception of reality when you know its been jaded by thier upbringing..which is kind of funny, because the irony is, he thinks the way he does, because its what his dad always taught him..and the reality is its his very prejudice/misunderstanding thats learned and chosen..but the more i tried to explain, the more he disagreed...so i just cut him off and said "alright consider this, if you hung around your older sister more when you were young, would you have a cock in your mouth right now?"
im not trying to be crude, im just retelling the story as it happened, and i felt the only gambit of argument he would accept and take as food for thought was the suggestion that his own theory making it possible for he himself, to be gay, if he had been brought up under a different circumstance...and ever since hes started to change his mind a little..weve talked about it since and i can tell hes read more about it, and is questioning what he was told/believes.
anyway, i know its gotta be tough being gay. i know because ive heard and seen prejudice towards gay people my entire life, from people ive worked with, good friends of mine, even people in my emmediate family. and i know my sexual attraction is innate, and based on my genetic instinct and its not something i can change..why would it be any different for someone who is gay?

**ronan the barbarian** · 07-13-2007, 05:22 PM

i do understand what your saying how people should be tolerent.

but can i give you a scenario?

would you be happy if a black guy dated your sister/daughter/mom?

my friend(whose gay) and i often argue about this.iv been racially abused for dating a black girl,but iv never started a 'date a black girl pride'

i also didnt choose to fancy every race of woman on the planet.

unfortuanatly 75% of the planet arnt catholic or irish or black or gay or TOLERENT.the majority of the world is straight and dating the same race.fact

being gay must bring its problems,but try dating a black girl in a predomintly black neighbourhood.now thats fun.lol.

believe me you get less grief than me,but i dont have a whole movement behind me.

**scaramouche** · 07-13-2007, 05:31 PM

well good luck to u mate,i really didnt need to know all that but its up to u if u wanna share it with all insundry,i kinda figured that was the case from ur avy long before this post anyhow

**Carlos_E** · 07-13-2007, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by ronan the barbarian

being gay must bring its problems,but try dating a black girl in a predomintly black neighbourhood.now thats fun.lol.

believe me you get less grief than me,but i dont have a whole movement behind me.

"Walk a mile in my shoes."

Get one of your friends to do an experiment with you. Walk a few blocks holding his hand and compare the reaction you get to the reaction you get when you are with your girlfriend. Then come back here and post. I'm curious to see the out come.

**ronan the barbarian** · 07-13-2007, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

"Walk a mile in my shoes."

Get one of your friends to do an experiment with you. Walk a few blocks holding his hand and compare the reaction you get to the reaction you get when you are with your girl friend. Then come back here and post. I'm curious to see the out come.

ha ha ha.f*ck me.holding hands with a black guy in my girlfriends area......you obviously know how homophobic black guys are......your right i wouldnt even bother.

iv been threatened many times,but im sure hnk,johnson crew,burger bar boys...etc wouldnt look too kindly.lol.

you def have it worse than me.lol

**gixxerboy1** · 07-13-2007, 05:48 PM

Never really thought about how hard it must be just to live life

***Doc.Sust*** · 07-13-2007, 05:50 PM

well put gentleman, i couldnt imagine walking a mile in either of your shoes. you have my support

**Diary of a Mad-man** · 07-13-2007, 05:51 PM

High-5 to you for not giving a shit what other people think. This world is so screwed up and people are so evil, that you have better things to do than care what they think. Our existence goes so much deeper than sexuality, who could focus so much on that. With so many people having their different "things", how can it even be a shock any more? To me, gay is like people who like tit porn, and then lesbo porn, and then dildo porn, and then midget porn, and then etc...etc...etc...., know what I mean? Its just a different fetish.

I realized long ago that since we all have to share space and resources, that it was not in other people's best interest for me to survive and prosper. People just want to bring you down.

David Cross said it best when he summed it up like this, and Im paraphrasing:

Yeah, Im 13, I have acne, nobody talks to me, Im shunned from my peers everyone makes fun of me, I KNOW, Im going to choose do something that physicaly repulses me with a guy, so everyone will hate me more.

Obviously not a choice. Glad you got it off your chest.

**Carlos_E** · 07-13-2007, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by Doc.Sust

well put gentleman, i couldnt imagine walking a mile in either of your shoes. you have my support

It depends where you live. Living in a city it's not a big deal. You see gay couples every where. People stare more when a gay couple does not fit what they stereotypically think of as gay. Two muscular guys, or one in a police or military uniform. That's when they really stare.

**Johny-too-small** · 07-13-2007, 06:01 PM

I like men who are gay. Why?

Many gay men are very attractive and take care of themselves. They do not like women which means that there is more ***** for me that I dont have to compete with another male for! The best looking dudes that I knew were always gay, that makes things so much easier for me.

All joking aside, dose not matter what or who you are, your a human being that deserves to be happy just as much as anyone else.

**ronan the barbarian** · 07-13-2007, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by Johny-too-small

I like men who are gay. Why?

Many gay men are very attractive and take care of themselves. They do not like women which means that there is more ***** for me that I dont have to compete with another male for! The best looking dudes that I knew were always gay, that makes things so much easier for me.

All joking aside, dose not matter what or who you are, your a human being that deserves to be happy just as much as anyone else.

damn i must be gay...good looking,take care of myself....sh *t im now gonna have to tell my mrs.lol.
seriously,shame the whole world doesnt want the rest of the world to be happy

**SMAN12b** · 07-13-2007, 06:24 PM

I really never understood WHY what two consenting adults do behind closed doors should be of any concern to anyone else be it two men, two women or a mix of whatever....as long as they are not causing harm to themselves or others it really shouldn't matter.

Society is too damn judgmental and really who of us here can say we are holy enough to judge what LOVE is between two people???

More power to you Carlos, and DSM

**gixxerboy1** · 07-13-2007, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

It depends where you live. Living in a city it's not a big deal. You see gay couples every where. People stare more when a gay couple does not fit what they stereotypically think of as gay. Two muscular guys, or one in a police or military uniform. That's when they really stare.

Your were in the village people?

**Big** · 07-13-2007, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

I really never understood WHY what two consenting adults do behind closed doors should be of any concern to anyone else be it two men, two women or a mix of whatever....as long as they are not causing harm to themselves or others it really shouldn't matter.

Society is too damn judgmental and really who of us here can say we are holy enough to judge what LOVE is between two people???

More power to you Carlos, and DSM

You summed up my thoughts exactly, well stated.

**BOOST** · 07-13-2007, 06:34 PM

Maybe it was Adam and Steve

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

I really never understood WHY what two consenting adults do behind closed doors should be of any concern to anyone else be it two men, two women or a mix of whatever....as long as they are not causing harm to themselves or others it really shouldn't matter.

You say "behind closed doors." Just curious what your thoughts were if you saw two guys holding hands outside in public?

**SMAN12b** · 07-13-2007, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

You say "behind closed doors." Just curious what your thoughts were if you saw two guys holding hands outside in public?

Its not my personal choice. but the behind closed doors statement just means in general....Like I may have certain fetishes that I enjoy during sex with my GF, but that doesn't change who I am day to day in public...its the same for gay/lesbian
Its not like being homosexual makes someone LESS of a productive individual in society so why should it matter what you do "behind closed doors"

Now, do I want to see two men in public with their tongues down each others throats?, NO , but I also wouldn't want to SEE that with a heterosexual couple in public either..... Do I care that the heterosexual couple go home and have wild kinky sex, HELL NO, so its the same, do i care that the homosexual couple go home and have wild kinky sex, HELL NO

Holding hands in public or even small kisses are fine....I am just not much for public groping in any gender, but arm in arm, hand in hand should not be looked at any different way.....

and as much as I enjoy watching two women kiss, I would not think it be the right place for them to do the tongue thing in public either...BUT JMHO

**ronan the barbarian** · 07-13-2007, 06:50 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

You say "behind closed doors." Just curious what your thoughts were if you saw two guys holding hands outside in public?

ha ha funny.............

so your saying if i fuc*ed my mrs inthe mouth in public that would be better than "behind closed doors"....i love this subject...its the new polotics/religeon

**SMAN12b** · 07-13-2007, 06:52 PM

OK, now that the serious stuff has been said...let me interject some levity....

DAMMIT CARLOS!!!!!!!!!!! You swore to me that being Gay WAS a choice and that you could teach me in just 12 easy weeks of INTENSE training!!!!

WTF???? Now my butt is sore and I am still not sure I am gay!!!

I WANT MY MONEY BACK !!!!!!!!

Now WEBB will never take me over TAI

Thanks for NOTHING

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 06:56 PM

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

Holding hands in public or even small kisses are fine....I am just not much for public groping in any gender, but arm in arm, hand in hand should not be looked at any different way.....

I agree. I don't like seeing people go at it in public either.

I do however find it very disappointing when i look over at him and want to give him a kiss and i know he wants to give me one but we both just turn away form each other because we know there could be consequences.

I don’t care because I am willing to stand up and fight for myself which I would hope it would never come to but he tells me its just not worth the "risk."

Makes me angry when he says it but i understand.

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by ronan the barbarian

ha ha funny.............

so your saying if i fuc*ed my mrs inthe mouth in public that would be better than "behind closed doors"....i love this subject...its the new polotics/religeon

He said i don't care what people do behind closed doors giving the impression that it is ok to do it out of the public eye (not sex of course). Thats why i questioned it. I think your way out in left field on this one.

**Big** · 07-13-2007, 07:08 PM

I have a question for you DSM, I hear a lot of younger people using the word "gay" to in some way mean stupid or something derogatory, not referring at all to anything homosexual, it's like they are trying to redefine the word, and I wonder if you take any offense to that? It seems somewhat age biased, to people over 60 gay means happy, to people who are adults gay means homosexual, and to young adults and teens gay seems to mean something else entirely. It's like every so often the word gets re-defined by a new generation, and it puzzles me. I saw a post just yesterday where someone said "this thread is gay", about a thread that had nothing to do with homosexuality, I assumed the poster was a kid just by his (or her) terminology.

**Carlos_E** · 07-13-2007, 07:15 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

Your were in the village people?

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by ImaGetBig

I have a question for you DSM, I hear a lot of younger people using the word "gay" to in some way mean stupid or something derogatory, not referring at all to anything homosexual, it's like they are trying to redefine the word, and I wonder if you take any offense to that? It seems somewhat age biased, to people over 60 gay means happy, to people who are adults gay means homosexual, and to young adults and teens gay seems to mean something else entirely. It's like every so often the word gets re-defined by a new generation, and it puzzles me. I saw a post just yesterday where someone said "this thread is gay", about a thread that had nothing to do with homosexuality, I assumed the poster was a kid just by his (or her) terminology.

I do not take offence when it’s used like that. Its funny but one of my friends did the, i think that is really ga.... stopped then turned to me

I don't care. You can say something’s gay or even call me a fag. It doesn't bother me personally (I have thick skin). It’s in the context of how you use these words. You and i know when gay is being used in general as apposed to being used in a hateful way.

**Carlos_E** · 07-13-2007, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

DAMMIT CARLOS!!!!!!!!!!! You swore to me that being Gay WAS a choice and that you could teach me in just 12 easy weeks of INTENSE training!!!!

WTF???? Now my butt is sore and I am still not sure I am gay!!!

I WANT MY MONEY BACK !!!!!!!!

Now WEBB will never take me over TAI

Thanks for NOTHING

You need to keep practicing till you're good at it.

**Carlos_E** · 07-13-2007, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

I agree. I don't like seeing people go at it in public either.

I do however find it very disappointing when i look over at him and want to give him a kiss and i know he wants to give me one but we both just turn away form each other because we know there could be consequences.

I don’t care because I am willing to stand up and fight for myself which I would hope it would never come to but he tells me its just not worth the "risk."

Makes me angry when he says it but i understand.

Tell him to man up and do it.

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 07:41 PM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

Tell him to man up and do it.

That’s how i feel but he said that there is not reason to get into a fight over it and if i did get into a fight he would be mad. I told him if anyone every disrespected him in front of me i would kick the @$^# out of them but he still doesn't agree with me. Like he says, it takes more to walk away then fight. I said he is right but regardless i would still fight if someone did anything to him with me there.

**SMAN12b** · 07-13-2007, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

You need to keep practicing till you're good at it.

How good can I be when you have me tied down with my butt in the air.....lolol

You said everyone wants to be a Bottom....its the new Craze !!!......

When do I get my turn??...lol

OUCH......I think you lied to me.......Big Boy !!

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 07:43 PM

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

How good can I be when you have me tied down with my butt in the air.....lolol

You said everyone wants to be a Bottom....its the new Craze !!!......

OUCH......I think you lied to me.......Big Boy !!

i always knew you were a bottom !

**SMAN12b** · 07-13-2007, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

i always knew you were a bottom !

Is it my fault I have a SEXY a$$.......

**heads back to the squat rack**

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

Is it my fault I have a SEXY a$$.......

Ill be the judge of that ! Bring on the pics !

my b/f is going to kick my a$$ if he sees this.

**SMAN12b** · 07-13-2007, 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

That’s how i feel but he said that there is not reason to get into a fight over it and if i did get into a fight he would be mad. I told him if anyone every disrespected him in front of me i would kick the @$^# out of them but he still doesn't agree with me. Like he says, it takes more to walk away then fight. I said he is right but regardless i would still fight if someone did anything to him with me there.

As much as I agree with YOU on this point, society is ignorant and it is NOT worth giving or taking a beating because this country is so prim and proper out doors, but the ones that will judge you for kissing your BF are most likely the ones going home and dressing up in kinky outfits or strange latex fetishes or wanting smacked around just so they can get off....

Some day the rest of the world will catch up and realize that TRUE love has No gender or color or religion!!!

**SMAN12b** · 07-13-2007, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Ill be the judge of that ! Bring on the pics !

my b/f is going to kick my a$$ if he sees this.

Best I can do on short notice....its only 8 years old......lolol

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

As much as I agree with YOU on this point, society is ignorant and it is NOT worth giving or taking a beating

Some day the rest of the world will catch up and realize that TRUE love has No gender or color or religion!!!

I agree with that to which is why i don't force the issue.

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

[U]Some day the rest of the world will catch up and realize that TRUE love has No gender or color or religion!!!

I believe that. I just hope i am around to see it.

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2007, 07:50 PM

Originally Posted by SMAN12B

Best I can do on short notice....its only 8 years old......lolol

im still waiting on the thong shot.

**gixxerboy1** · 07-13-2007, 07:51 PM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

You need to keep practicing till you're good at it.

**ronan the barbarian** · 07-13-2007, 07:52 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

He said i don't care what people do behind closed doors giving the impression that it is ok to do it out of the public eye (not sex of course). Thats why i questioned it. I think your way out in left field on this one.

ha ha.my point excactly.......why is it so different for gay people to straight people??????????

in general if i snog my mrs in public the average person isnt too keen(psoa),but if i was gay your saying it should be acceptable?

sorry i dont see why its ok for you and not for me?

i really really couldnt care if you were straight,gay,black or white....at least have the same principles.......

i repeat,i have never ever been to a hetrosexual parade celebrating being straight!!!!!!!!

your entitled to the same rights legally,yeah.but you wanna change the whole world.....good luck.straight people cant do it so what makes you think an extreme minority can do it?

this is def the new polotics.lol