'Official Postwhore Thread'

[RuhlFreak55]

yea well....i'm stubborn.....therapy is expensive and it's not gonna happen

[Reed]

i'm definitely not mentally retarded......i could be unstable i guess but only due to past teasing and no one ever showing me much different in "REAL" life

Well your not the only one in the world that has been through those things. People have been in worse situations and still are able to function.

[Reed]

I think you should be banned from posting your issues in here and make a thread called Ruhl's Therapy session and when ever you need to talk about your issues post in there and get advice and when you don't take it see how many people begin to respond after a while

[RuhlFreak55]

I think you should be banned from posting your issues in here and make a thread called Ruhl's Therapy session and when ever you need to talk about your issues post in there and get advice and when you don't take it see how many people begin to respond after a while

hmm that's not a half bad idea.....

[RuhlFreak55]

lol i think i've literally been watching house since like 2

[Reed]

hmm that's not a half bad idea.....

You should Ruhl, I could start it for you. And when you come in here people won't leave because your starting to talk about your problems again and you can join in the normal conversations people have; not bring down people with YOUR problems

[RuhlFreak55]

Well your not the only one in the world that has been through those things. People have been in worse situations and still are able to function.

i do function......

[RuhlFreak55]

You should Ruhl, I could start it for you. And when you come in here people won't leave because your starting to talk about your problems again and you can join in the normal conversations people have; not bring down people with YOUR problems

whatever i don't always do that.....

[Phate]

i do function......

have you left your apartment yet?

[RuhlFreak55]

have you left your apartment yet?

today? no....don't have a reason to really

[Reed]

i do function......

But on your own described meaningless function

whatever i don't always do that.....

Some people help but some people that have been around you for a while are just tired out it. They don't care anymore because it seems you do it for attention and don't listen.

[Reed]

Once again I think a good idea would be a thread called Ruhl's Therapy Session so you can get help

[Bojangles69]

orrrr she could always be perfect in my eyes and never do any wrong and i could love her unconditionally forever

Sounds like a nice little disney fairytale.

Love is always conditional. If you were dating her and walked in on her one day blowing some dude, the conditions of love would become painfully vivid.

The only reason I honestly think you're like this with her is because the reality of you and her being together is really an impossibility, like a fairytale.
So you build her up into something shes not, give her value in your mind that noone realistically deserves, it becomes that awesome dream in your life that sands away all the rough edges.

Maybe you're scared to abandon a fantasy that in a way keeps you alive, or feeling that way at least.

I still think, at some point, you need to evolve your mindstate. I mean why do you go to the gym? To evolve and resculpture your body.
So why not evolve and resculpture your mind?

I mean, isn't there a part of you that at least would be curious to see what it would be like?

[Skully44420]

still on this subject? lol

[Reed]

still on this subject? lol

Yep, its sad

[Reed]

Later Ruhl, I gotta hit up my late night gym sesh.

[RuhlFreak55]

Sounds like a nice little disney fairytale.

Love is always conditional. If you were dating her and walked in on her one day blowing some dude, the conditions of love would become painfully vivid.

The only reason I honestly think you're like this with her is because the reality of you and her being together is really an impossibility, like a fairytale.
So you build her up into something shes not, give her value in your mind that noone realistically deserves, it becomes that awesome dream in your life that sands away all the rough edges.

Maybe you're scared to abandon a fantasy that in a way keeps you alive, or feeling that way at least.

I still think, at some point, you need to evolve your mindstate. I mean why do you go to the gym? To evolve and resculpture your body.
So why not evolve and resculpture your mind?

I mean, isn't there a part of you that at least would be curious to see what it would be like?

True.....that would be devastating in any relationship

That entire paragraph is so intuitive it's kind of scary. I can see that being exactly right. Just don't know how to get out of it.

Hope maybe?

i don't know how to do that but i'm def. intrigued

[FREAK]

were my dawgs 2nite?

[FREAK]

damm no dawgs 2nite

[Phate]

i wonder if i count, lol

[FREAK]

what up phate?

[Skully44420]

sup freak?

[FREAK]

not much, just checkin in

[RuhlFreak55]

i just feel so unmotivated......****

[FREAK]

i hear ya ruhl

[RuhlFreak55]

at least when i was in contest prep i felt motivated....pretty much all the time.....now it's just la ti da.

[FREAK]

i've been feelin pretty lazy lately too

[Phate]

at least when i was in contest prep i felt motivated....pretty much all the time.....now it's just la ti da.

i hate that feeling, i've actually had days where i get to the guy, do two sets, and just can't do anymore and end up leaving.....or taking a couple grams of caffine and then getting back to work

[RuhlFreak55]

i hate that feeling, i've actually had days where i get to the guy, do two sets, and just can't do anymore and end up leaving.....or taking a couple grams of caffine and then getting back to work

well i don't have problems in the gym......just everything else in life....schoolwork......getting a job.....cleaning etc.

[Phate]

well i don't have problems in the gym......just everything else in life....schoolwork......getting a job.....cleaning etc.

sounds like you need an intervention, cause your priorities seem to be off a little

[Skully44420]

i hate california

[Skully44420]

LOL steroid intervention

[FREAK]

i have a solution to part of ur problem get a chic she can clean and make her get a job theres 2 of ur problems solved

[RuhlFreak55]

sounds like you need an intervention, cause your priorities seem to be off a little

explain....

i have a solution to part of ur problem get a chic she can clean and make her get a job theres 2 of ur problems solved

this sounds like a good idea in theory lol

[Bojangles69]

That entire paragraph is so intuitive it's kind of scary. I can see that being exactly right. Just don't know how to get out of it.

I think you just don't want to get out of it. I mean in your head you might think "this is annoying" but when you're not thinking, and you're more or less just feeling, theres prob something about the fantasy or just having a love fantasy that makes you feel like you have a higher purpose in life.

Hope maybe?
I like the idea of hope, but honestly, when I hear "hope" it sounds like the word "prayer" to me. Like people who say just say a prayer & things will get better. No religion bashing here, but it seems like the same shit when a teenager girls clock turns 11:11 and she makes a wish she'll meet the boy of her dreams tommorow.
So I'd say 'provacative knowledge' anyday over hope. A logic that seduces you into a better life where you don't have to 'hope' for anything.

i don't know how to do that but i'm def. intrigued [/QUOTE]

Yeh people throw out so many different things which is the problem.
Maybe ruhl needs therapy?
Maybe ruhl needs to get laid?
Maybe ruhl needs to REALLY get his heart stomped and spit on once in his life and find himself wanting to die. Maybe once he reaches that point he'll have a reason to chasm open some new & different philosophies about love.

Maybe he'll realize that fantasies and dreams are the same things nightmares are made of. And that one actually relys on the other to breed.
(ie, your dream scenario with you and kate together = the nightmare of you 2 not being together)
So if you really find yourself dreaming about kate, isn't it odd to realize you're technically living a nightmare right now? Think about it. Think about how many other nightmares you don't realize your living because you have no control over your fantasies.

I honestly think the best thing that could happen to you, and I hate to say this, but would be to get your heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
I think at some point you need some raw reality induced motivation to not want to feel death anymore.
Because right now you're really just floating around, you're not really in any serious emotionally debilitative state. You're just living off habits. But ultimately your true ev0lution will take place on your first brush with a broken heart.
Fvcked up I know.
Motivation to be emotionally stronger is a privelage some will never really sacrifice for.

If you can understand what I'm saying.

[Phate]

i have a solution to part of ur problem get a chic she can clean and make her get a job theres 2 of ur problems solved

i like that, not a bad idea, i'll have to put that on my to-do list

1) go shopping
2) do college paper
3) find slave to clean and make me money

[FREAK]

wtf

[RuhlFreak55]

Yeh people throw out so many different things which is the problem.
Maybe ruhl needs therapy?
Maybe ruhl needs to get laid?
Maybe ruhl needs to REALLY get his heart stomped and spit on once in his life and find himself wanting to die. Maybe once he reaches that point he'll have a reason to chasm open some new & different philosophies about love.

Maybe he'll realize that fantasies and dreams are the same things nightmares are made of. And that one actually relys on the other to breed.
(ie, your dream scenario with you and kate together = the nightmare of you 2 not being together)
So if you really find yourself dreaming about kate, isn't it odd to realize you're technically living a nightmare right now? Think about it. Think about how many other nightmares you don't realize your living because you have no control over your fantasies.

I honestly think the best thing that could happen to you, and I hate to say this, but would be to get your heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
I think at some point you need some raw reality induced motivation to not want to feel death anymore.
Because right now you're really just floating around, you're not really in any serious emotionally debilitative state. You're just living off habits. But ultimately your true ev0lution will take place on your first brush with a bleeding heart.
Fvcked up I know.
Motivation to be emotionally stronger is a privelage some will never really sacrifice for.

If you can understand what I'm saying.

but i think that would kill me......which is why i don't open up to anyone else

[Bojangles69]

but i think that would kill me......which is why i don't open up to anyone else

Yep, and that leads to a shitload of things that don't matter.
Like the fact of why throughout the course of your life you managed to learn that was a destiny you couldn't escape.

And even when guys reach a reason why they learned that, it still doesn't become a reason to unlearn it.

So the course of your life will follow something along the lines of:
Maybe one day you'll meet a girl.
That fear will be reborn, and you'll either sabatoge things before they start to protect yourself, or create a fantasy situation where you really won't get hurt like only real love can do.

Or what I see happen with some guys. Something TERRIBLE happens one day. (I hate even thinking about shit like this) But maybe one day your mother passes.. or you get a fatal disease.
And you realize that pain is part of everyones destiny, in one way or another.
And that pain will oddly make you feel alive, maybe in a terrible way, but for once you'll have this strange motivation you never had before to look at your fears and say suck my dick, I own you, not vice versa.

Depending on how it happens, or if it ever really does, (the fear being as bad as you actually thought it would be - which it really never is) at some point you'll never be uneligible in crossing its path.
The day will come, but just realize that day is ALWAYS going to affect you less if you hadn't spent your entire life trying to prevent it.

And no this isn't anything that will change you. But it may offer some relevant insight to your future, you rocking on a chair one day old and tired, thinking about all the time you spent in the gym, looking at your scrawy self in the mirror just wondering why... a why that is still in the process of being written now, or in your futures past.

[RuhlFreak55]

well i read that....don't entirely agree but i wont argue......i'm gonna go sleepy by now.