Story time inspired by woman groping thread

[Kratos]

So I was at a christmas party mabe 2 years ago, everyone was drinking and having a good old time, but it was party kinda even split between 20 somthings and old heads. Kinda a bi-generation party. At one point a group of us decide to leave the party and go to a bar. A few of the girls I left the party with were cute and some of my guy friends came along. The thing is the girls we went to the bar with had one major DUFF (designated ugly fat friend) with them. This girl seriously had to be a duce and a half and about 5'11'', she wouldn't even be good looking if she were thin. She had the trailor park look going on, her shirt looked like some kinda quilt, big glasses, curly hair, manly face, just something you wouldn't even touch with someone else's dick. I was polite to her, nothing more, I thought I had to be polite, remember her friends are hot.

Fast forward two weeks, one of the hot girls invites me to a party--ya know kegs and beer pong, we had friends in common and I knew people who were going to be there. I was like, "sweet a hot chick on my dilznick."

After I get to the party and am enjoying some drinks, I realize the chick who called me up is hooking up with another dude on the couch. I'm thinking man that f-ing sucks, guess I totally mis-read the senerio. A little side note, later I found out that hot chick was a complete psyco, and was looking to get prego because she wanted a baby. That dude knocked her up after dating her only like two weeks. I may have dodged a bullet there anyway.

Anyway, onto the groping part. The big girl dawn starts touching my ass while i'm pouring myself a frosty brew. I play it off like nothing happend, and kinda walk away (this is my typical, confrontation avoidal move when unwanted advances are made). She pulls a few more touch feel grab manovers thought the evening. After awhile I think to myself, "I don't care if the beer is free, I gotta get the hell outta here."

Myself and one of my guy friends leave and go play playstation II on his 100 projection screen. We have been chillin for about 1/2 hour when my phone rings. The caller ID is from one of my friend's phone, but it's Dawn. She didn't have my number so she borrowed one of my friend's phone to get the number. She starts babbling about god knows what, so I'm just like "Dawn what is it, what do you want?" To which she replies "(insert my real name here) I like you." Apparently she had a serious crush on my from two weeks earlier, and got the hot friend to trick me to the party. I told her I didn't want to be anymore than friends.

Here comes the dramatic twist. After Dawn gets off the phone with me, she starts to kinda loose it. She starts getting all worked up and decides she is going to walk home. Not that she couldn't use the exercise, but she lives like 15 miles away. She gets mabe 1/2 a mile from the house when the hot friends + one of my friends at the party get into his 1988 ford aerostar minivan and go after her. The street is a 25mile per hour street in a nice neighborhood and they are riding with the sliding door open at about 3 miles per hour trying to coax the beast into the van. She is crying and sad, and won't get into the van. In the distance there is a car parked by the side of the road. Guess what, it's a cop car and as they aproach closer the party lights go on. That is when Dawn finally decides to slide her fat ass into the car. Everyone in the car is hammered, it doesn't look good for my buddy driving. Another cop car comes on the scene, in my mind never a good sign. He hands the cop his licence and registration. The cop comes back from his car, hands it back to my friend and says "head straight home," and he signals to the other car and they both leave. For some odd reason my friend keeps $200 dollars in his registration envelope for emergency's, the envelope came back light, the cop kept the 200 lol. I have neven spoken to Dawn again. The thing is even though the hot chicks are her friend, they were lau***ng at Dawn with everyone else like they knew what was going to happen minus the police drama. Girls are mean.

[Lexed]

lol I use the term Duff too

[Lexed]

if you wanna get with the hottie you gotta make friends with the fattie

[StoneGRMI]

trying to coax the beast into the van

Stop lying, dude! You hit it!

[IronReload04]

hahahah great story

[PEWN]

lol..... tag them both... but good story... your a good detail writer...

[taiboxa]

cop took the 200 ?! LOL fuxowned

[buffgator]

Thats a good story Kratos. For some reason its like the weird girls where always having crushes on me.
One time my buddies and I where hanging out at a friends house when his parents where out of town. There was like 5 of us guys and 4 girls, three where very attractive, the third I later nick named Big Pun because she was like 6 foot and 225lbs. Well we where sipping on some beers and listening to sublime and just talking and lau***ng and half ass watching a movie. The song caress me down comes on and one of the girls all of the sudden gets up and starts dancing real provocative. Any way she strips down totally nude and one of the other hot girls follows her lead. Things where going great we came up with a couple more songs to play and they where just running around naked giving lap dances and grinding up against us. Well all of the sudden big pun jumps up and starts stripping down also. It is not attractive at all, first she is just amazon in size, second she has a huge mole on her gigantic boob, third she is wearing bright glossy blue grandma panties, and last of all she has a big bush. Well we start lau***ng and making some rude comments and one of the hot girls says if you want to continue to see us dance then big pun is allowed to also. Wow what a crappy bargain, we had to agree though. So big pun would be dancing and come up to give you a lap dance and it was like my god how can I get out of this. Well to make a long story short she tried her hardest to hook up with one of us. I end up hooking up with the girl that was there but did not strip. We are laying in bed almost asleep when big pun comes and slide in to bed with us. She then proceeds to put her hand on my unit and suggest a three some. I had to just play it off that I was tired and that Melanie and I where just going to go to sleep and that she could sleep on the couch upstairs. It was a very interesting night to say the least.

[StoneGRMI]

^ sick man

[Bojangles69]

Yeh I think your friend may have been so drunk he hallucinated the fact that there was $200 with the registration. Thats just a very VERY dumb and quick way for a cop to lose his badge.

W/e the case I had a girl at work a while ago who was probaly just as ugly if not uglier than the girl you describe. This girl was so far from fvckable she could be reincarnated as Jessica Alba and I still wouldn't hit it just knowing what she looked like in her past life.
Well she did the same grabbing the ass thing. One day did it about 15 times through out the course of work. I was being passive and cool about it. But the last thing I would have asked her is "what do you want?" That should have already been realized in your mind by her grabbing your ass and by you asking her your provoking her to take a grave social risk (saying she likes you) and even though its confrontational and you say no theres a better way to do it.
Next time don't ask her what she wants. You'll notice when really attractive socially savey girls are being stalked by some drunk guy at the bar they won't verbally engage them on levels like that cuz it can be a setup for an ugly/akward situation. They will ignore them and distance themself as much as possible.
But all you really had to do as a guy was say what I did with a serious face. "If you grab my ass again I'm gonna break both your fvcking arms bitch". It was completely justified in response to what SHE was doing to ME at the time. And as a guy you can say that w/out the fear of being anally raped to death.
She got scared, didn't talk to me the rest of the day. Next time I worked we were cool and she kept her hands to herself. She eventually starting flirting again and everytime she did I just walked away. Women CAN be trained just like puppies.. even fat ugly morbidly obese puppies.

[Prada]

So I was at a christmas party mabe 2 years ago, everyone was drinking and having a good old time, but it was party kinda even split between 20 somthings and old heads. Kinda a bi-generation party. At one point a group of us decide to leave the party and go to a bar. A few of the girls I left the party with were cute and some of my guy friends came along. The thing is the girls we went to the bar with had one major DUFF (designated ugly fat friend) with them. This girl seriously had to be a duce and a half and about 5'11'', she wouldn't even be good looking if she were thin. She had the trailor park look going on, her shirt looked like some kinda quilt, big glasses, curly hair, manly face, just something you wouldn't even touch with someone else's dick. I was polite to her, nothing more, I thought I had to be polite, remember her friends are hot.

Fast forward two weeks, one of the hot girls invites me to a party--ya know kegs and beer pong, we had friends in common and I knew people who were going to be there. I was like, "sweet a hot chick on my dilznick."

After I get to the party and am enjoying some drinks, I realize the chick who called me up is hooking up with another dude on the couch. I'm thinking man that f-ing sucks, guess I totally mis-read the senerio. A little side note, later I found out that hot chick was a complete psyco, and was looking to get prego because she wanted a baby. That dude knocked her up after dating her only like two weeks. I may have dodged a bullet there anyway.

Anyway, onto the groping part. The big girl dawn starts touching my ass while i'm pouring myself a frosty brew. I play it off like nothing happend, and kinda walk away (this is my typical, confrontation avoidal move when unwanted advances are made). She pulls a few more touch feel grab manovers thought the evening. After awhile I think to myself, "I don't care if the beer is free, I gotta get the hell outta here."

Myself and one of my guy friends leave and go play playstation II on his 100 projection screen. We have been chillin for about 1/2 hour when my phone rings. The caller ID is from one of my friend's phone, but it's Dawn. She didn't have my number so she borrowed one of my friend's phone to get the number. She starts babbling about god knows what, so I'm just like "Dawn what is it, what do you want?" To which she replies "(insert my real name here) I like you." Apparently she had a serious crush on my from two weeks earlier, and got the hot friend to trick me to the party. I told her I didn't want to be anymore than friends.

Here comes the dramatic twist. After Dawn gets off the phone with me, she starts to kinda loose it. She starts getting all worked up and decides she is going to walk home. Not that she couldn't use the exercise, but she lives like 15 miles away. She gets mabe 1/2 a mile from the house when the hot friends + one of my friends at the party get into his 1988 ford aerostar minivan and go after her. The street is a 25mile per hour street in a nice neighborhood and they are riding with the sliding door open at about 3 miles per hour trying to coax the beast into the van. She is crying and sad, and won't get into the van. In the distance there is a car parked by the side of the road. Guess what, it's a cop car and as they aproach closer the party lights go on. That is when Dawn finally decides to slide her fat ass into the car. Everyone in the car is hammered, it doesn't look good for my buddy driving. Another cop car comes on the scene, in my mind never a good sign. He hands the cop his licence and registration. The cop comes back from his car, hands it back to my friend and says "head straight home," and he signals to the other car and they both leave. For some odd reason my friend keeps $200 dollars in his registration envelope for emergency's, the envelope came back light, the cop kept the 200 lol. I have neven spoken to Dawn again. The thing is even though the hot chicks are her friend, they were lau***ng at Dawn with everyone else like they knew what was going to happen minus the police drama. Girls are mean.

I know your orthography is quite coherent and rather impeccable compared to Tia but would you be in any way, shape, size or form, related to her?

[taiboxa]

is her = to tia?

[Prada]

is her = to tia?

Affirmative........darling.

[taiboxa]

oh yeah kuz he used paragraphs in his story bout a chick just like me!

[Kratos]

Yeh I think your friend may have been so drunk he hallucinated the fact that there was $200 with the registration. Thats just a very VERY dumb and quick way for a cop to lose his badge.

Well she did the same grabbing the ass thing. One day did it about 15 times through out the course of work. I was being passive and cool about it. But the last thing I would have asked her is "what do you want?" ].

He wasn't lying about the 200, the cops really did take it. Despite the 88 nose van, his parents are loaded (oil money, they don't work) and always make sure he has 200 in his glove box. He didn't realize it was missing or remember it should have been there until the next day, he just couldn't figure out why the cop let him go. Where I live drunk driving is about as serious of a crime as you get and the piggers are happy to catch you if they can.

I left the party, she was calling me on the phone, it was time to put that baby to bed.

Good story buffgator, big pun lol.

[Prada]

oh yeah kuz he used paragraphs in his story bout a chick just like me!

The story per se led me to believe it to be quite equivalent to one of yours. The orthography however tilted me in the other direction, actually pretty much confirmed no correlation whatsoever.

[taiboxa]

kuz he uses C when i use K

[thetank]

haha dawn and bigpun...i love it. one time this filthy girl (not quite a duece, but she had some serious meat on her)asked me for a smoke at some party her and her roomates were having..i was like, uhhh...no, i dont smoke..and she looks at me for like 10 seconds, no words exchanged, were just looking at each other..but i could see that pensive look in her eyes, wheels were turning, she was about to do something, it was like the pre-kiss face so i had my gaurd up ready to dodge a bullet, then she threw a low blow that tore the very fabric of my ****in soul...my fly just happened to be down, and i was wearing boxers with a one button fly..and somehow, she plunged her hand weaving through both holes like a snake in the grass and grabbed right onto my junk---squeezed---then asked me if i wanted to go up to her room..after about 3 seconds of collecting myself, i ****in tossed that bitch across the room..well i pushed her, and she fell back into the minibar they had downstairs which was a good 6 feet away..then i went upstairs with a shiver down my spine that has yet to rest. it was the closest thing to rape ile ever experience, and has forever jaded my perception of the world.

[Prada]

kuz he uses C when i use K

Et voila!!!

There is actually more then that but yeah that is one thing.

[Kratos]

This thread is open to all stories of inappropriate advances from hideous women, keep em coming.

[taiboxa]

[Prada]

^^Did she escape from her herd in Abu_Gharib?

[IronReload04]

the tank, that reminds me of a story, very very similar


it was saturday night, and in the buddies dorm, about 5 of us got super blazed........from here, we decide to go out.........so half of us were incoherent, and for whatever reason, somebody decided we should go to the female rugby house



(so this story is kind of intertwined with the dyke thread)





so we get to the woman's rugby house, the party was kind of half outside, and half inside, people were walking in and out, so it wasnt to hard or awkward to just kind of sneak in and blend in on the outside part...........we basically just stand around in a circle and only talk to each other.........


then i get brave, and decide to go in to get beers........i walk in, and i shit you not their were ugly lesbians everywhere.....everywhere, holding hands and making out and shit.........not to mention ugly lesbo vegetarian posters on the walls..............so with the balls i have, hahahahahahah, i go to the fridge, which was pretty packed, their was beer galore, and me and my buddy, just 2 of us went inside, grabbed a total of 5 beers........the kitchen was packed with people, so it wasnt really a major deal


so, now, we head back outside, now, we are the only guys at the party, 5 of us, totally surrounded by ugly lesbians, and we are standing in a circle drinking their beers....


so the head bitch, captain, heads over.........she was butchy, i probably might have banged her, but she was a little iffy..............she walks straight over, looks me in the eye, doesst say anything, extends her hand, and grabs my unit..............the other 4 guys completely lost it and caused a scene.......i was blazed and wasted at the same time,

and i have never been so frozen in my life.........I didnt know what to do......i was thoughtless, i didnt have a reaction because i was so confused........the only thing i remember, was when she had her hand around my frank, it took alot of composure not to stiffen up.......with her hand holding my unit, she's like, "so, you haven a good time".......i just caugh, didnt say anything, still in astonishment...i felt like i was being raped or somthing, like, she had all the power and i was the submissive one.......she releases and walks away........i am so confused at this point


she leaves, still in my little circle, i start talking again, and at this point everyone is confused.......so next thing we know, they are doing their lesbo rugby chant, loud, you probably could have heard it a block or 2 down



at this point, i said, lets get the **** outa here.......


and that pointless night would go on to serve as a great story

[taiboxa]

i kant read story, too many douple spacings between paragraphs and too many dots.. adhd wont let me focus ><

[Kratos]

Don't go to the women's rugby house, there are women rugby players in there.

[taiboxa]

Don't go to the women's rugby house, there are women rugby players in there.

wtf is wrong w/ that
i love a lil ruff'n'tumble w/ my forplay.

[buffgator]

Tai tell us a story about how you made an advance at a girl and made put her in the same situation us guys where in

[taiboxa]

oh G' you want a story .. about a girl.. in my life...
well lets see...
i really have been trying to avoid women lately...
i found out the super retarded chica in my class isnt even 20.. so thats a bumber... though she made some weird comment bout reluctantly gettin back together w/ her boyfriend.. then later on she i asked her to email me something.. and she said.. VERBADEM
"I will do what ever you want me to do..."
LIKE WTF i just wanted u to email me a GRAPH .. a simple GRAPH..
so ima ask for some nudes since she is hella hot.. and i'll post em up...

[buffgator]

If you post them up I will take back every ill word I have ever spoken

[taiboxa]

If you post them up I will take back every ill word I have ever spoken

as i get banned for breaking board rules ><

[buffgator]

You can just pm them to us

[taiboxa]

im so old.. i think chicks are lookin at me like a father figure nowdays ><


*ties knot in rope*