My protein farts have gone too far.

**FallenWyvern** · 06-03-2008, 07:23 PM

My protein farts have gone too far.

I was shopping at a store and I went to the changing room to try them on. I went to the changing room and it was very small. I had to fart and I was all alone in the room so I thought I would let it rip.

Man I let one go, it felt so good. If fact as it came out I even had to let out a little giggle cause it was so loud and felt so good.

Then the smell hit me. Protein fart smell the worse. My eyes even watered.

Then a guy came in and used the changing stall next to me. I heard him say "FVCK". I then I could here him breathing heavily like he was holding his nose.

Then another guy came in with his kid. The little kid was like "Daddy, what is that smell?"

Then another guy came in and immediately said "Jesus Christ! This is a changing room, who took a shit in here?"

So then I had to wait for them all to leave.

What the fvck is wrong with my diet. I just thought my wife and kids were big complainers!

**number twelve** · 06-03-2008, 07:33 PM

hahahaha

**Voice of Reason** · 06-03-2008, 07:34 PM

LMAO !!!

**Big** · 06-03-2008, 07:44 PM

It's the smell of muscle growth, revel in it.

**NATE0406** · 06-03-2008, 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by Voice of Reason

LMAO !!!

where do you come up with all this shit. lol

**jchopper1** · 06-03-2008, 07:56 PM

basking in the ambiance

**StoneGRMI** · 06-03-2008, 08:09 PM

I would be proud

**Bolo1982** · 06-03-2008, 08:12 PM

Everyone loves the smell of their own brand!!

**CeeLo** · 06-03-2008, 08:14 PM

OK! I can't stop laughing. I just split a rib!

**HORSE~** · 06-03-2008, 08:19 PM

Originally Posted by Bolo1982

Everyone loves the smell of their own brand!!

Damn I thought I was the only one....

Sometimes when I take a shit I pull my shirt bottom over my knees, then I take my shirt top and stretch it over my mouth and nostrils, then deeply inhale and enjoy the fruits of my labor....

Good stuff.............

**Johnny_Rotten** · 06-03-2008, 08:25 PM

^^^^^^^^Ahahahahahaha x 5653653653865326.

Horse inhales the vapours of his own poo!

**HORSE~** · 06-03-2008, 08:28 PM

^^^^ Um Um Good!!!!^^^^

**StoneGRMI** · 06-03-2008, 08:30 PM

This thread has turned disgusting.

I do it too, HORSE!

**HORSE~** · 06-03-2008, 08:31 PM

^^^^lmfao!!!! Nice........................^^^^

**buffgator** · 06-03-2008, 08:34 PM

When I got divorced for about a month I had protein drinks and peanut m&m's for almost every meal. It was worst my farts have ever smelt.

**FallenWyvern** · 06-03-2008, 08:46 PM

I have done the shirt thing too.

I wouldn't be surprised if some/all of this made it to the hall of shame.

***JDMSilviaSpecR*** · 06-03-2008, 09:24 PM

Try being at work and letting one loose thinking that it would be a simple little air fart. NOT.

***JDMSilviaSpecR*** · 06-03-2008, 09:25 PM

And one time I was with my chick at a nice french restaurant, and I did the same thing at our table. I really misjudge the smell of my farts,

**Prada** · 06-03-2008, 11:11 PM

Usually I evacuate the premises ASAP. Then again my bodily gas smells like roses.

***JDMSilviaSpecR*** · 06-03-2008, 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by Prada

Usually I evacuate the premises ASAP. Then again my bodily gas smells like roses.

Clearly ur not taking in enough protein... CLEARLY

**BANKAI*zanpakutō** · 06-03-2008, 11:22 PM

oh man ... and at work i try and hold it in......wow i feel like i am about to blow up ..

**Prada** · 06-03-2008, 11:29 PM

Originally Posted by JDMSilviaSpecR

Clearly ur not taking in enough protein... CLEARLY

1.5 grams per lean body weight.

oh man ... and at work i try and hold it in......wow i feel like i am about to blow up

Just wait for a fat guy to pass. Everyone assumes its the fat guy.

**BANKAI*zanpakutō** · 06-03-2008, 11:31 PM

lol good advice .... gona try that ..

**DeputyLoneWolf** · 06-03-2008, 11:48 PM

oh wow that was the funniest thing I've read in a while my side hurts from laughing so much.

**Kale** · 06-03-2008, 11:57 PM

I am pissing myself laughing here , that is sensational !!! Same thing happened to me recently, I was sitting on the couch with my wife watching TV and I let one rip, she ran out og the room dry reaching and my Dog's both looked at me like they wanted to marry me.

**Nicotine** · 06-04-2008, 12:10 AM

i enjoy farting.... it's so underrated on how great it is.

the guys at my gym are all massive...the farts...simply incredible.

most wont say anything till it hits you. then it's nothing but laughter. no one gets offended.

i hate doing abs, and you're doing leg lifts, and you let one go with 0 control.... we call it a game of 50/50...

50% chance of fart....%50 chance of shitting yourself

***JDMSilviaSpecR*** · 06-04-2008, 12:44 AM

Thankfully I can say I've never sharded, but I do agree that theres nothing like ripping one next to the dumbbells and the bench your using, clearing that whole area for 5 minutes, basking in my own glorious scent, and having that area EXCLUSIVELY to myself and myself be the only person there, lol. Doesn't seem too obvious?

**Amorphic** · 06-04-2008, 01:31 AM

Originally Posted by Big

It's the smell of muscle growth, revel in it.

haha. wonderful

**Swifto** · 06-04-2008, 03:06 AM

ha ha ha! Great thread.

Has anyone had any luck getting rid of them using digestive enzymes. Mine really dont smell nice at all. Its got to the point where I dont enjoy smelling them myself.

**DSM4Life** · 06-04-2008, 05:00 AM

Originally Posted by HORSE

Damn I thought I was the only one....

Sometimes when I take a shit I pull my shirt bottom over my knees, then I take my shirt top and stretch it over my mouth and nostrils, then deeply inhale and enjoy the fruits of my labor....

Good stuff.............

So wrong...

**paulzane** · 06-04-2008, 06:53 AM

Threads like this are why I love this site!!

**TJM7275** · 06-04-2008, 07:19 AM

Dude, too funny... I am still laughing

**VisceralReaction** · 06-04-2008, 01:54 PM

hahahahaha oh well thats the sacrafice we make

**smokeyd** · 06-04-2008, 02:17 PM

all my family members think something is wrong with me because my gas smells so bad haha, i went over to old ladys house and let one go and her mom walked in later and said o god did something terrible happen in here!! hahaha i almost shit my self lauging. i mean if i am in a room for more than 30 min i produce so much gas that it most of the times leaves the room tainted for about an hour after i leave haha

**Pooks** · 06-04-2008, 02:37 PM

EGG WHITES THAT COME IN THE BOX.. mmmmmmmmmmm

GOOD STUFF FOR FARTS!!.

I have a ton of the same story..

Take a dumppp.. let out a few farts as welll..
Now I flush right away...

before I used to just kind of chill and relax there for a few minutes..
Than u hear all the other people in the public bathroom.. Gagging, Saying ****,, and stampeding on out ..
Thats when u hear the bones of their skulls crush, under the feet of others...
Many lives lost....

Once when I was playing with Spiro.. I put that stuff on my head..
I went shopping to the mall.. stopped at a POLO store..
Went into the changing room to try out some stufff...

I broke a sweat and it got hot, putting clothes on and taking it off..
next thing I hear is all this chatter outside the changing room

"DOOD IT SMELLS LIKE A SKUNK IN THERE"
IS THERE A SKUNK IN HERE"
yo come here, doesn't it smell like a skunk in here etc...
it went on for like 5min..

finally they disppersed, and i made my getaway.. last time i put spiro on my head.

**ghettoboyd** · 06-04-2008, 02:55 PM

omg! you guys r killin me! i cant stop laughing. personaly,at home i just blame them on the dog cus his farts r unreal.

**xavier_888888** · 06-04-2008, 02:55 PM

Originally Posted by JDMSilviaSpecR

Thankfully I can say I've never sharded, but I do agree that theres nothing like ripping one next to the dumbbells and the bench your using, clearing that whole area for 5 minutes, basking in my own glorious scent, and having that area EXCLUSIVELY to myself and myself be the only person there, lol. Doesn't seem too obvious?

Marking your teritory ! good one! LMAO