I need roomate advice before I kill someone.

**Skully44420** · 07-05-2008, 01:28 PM

LOL yeah use her computer and then make sure this thread is on there so she sees it and starts reading it

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-05-2008, 01:35 PM

This i get mixed opinions about....

I had boys come down from NY one weekend... and they walk in the house... and sit on the couch... and were just bsing... and she comes out of the bathroom... in a towel and walks over to us... and leans over them and hands me a ticket she got and asked me about it.

I was like wtf are you doing?

Maybe its me, maybe im old school italian... but if my girlfriend came out of the bathroom in a god damn towel in front of dudes... especially ones shes never met before... Id lose it. She walks out in a towel all the time... its ****in nauseating...

My boys were like... wtf was that all about? Who the hell was that?

Even they hate her, and they met her once.

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-05-2008, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by FallenWyvern

This sounds like an easy problem to fix.

Tell her that she is getting on your nerves to the point that you want to kill her.

Show her this forum.

Problem fixed.

I would if it wasnt on this forum... Shes got a big mouth... thats all i need is my command to get wind.

**illwillogical** · 07-05-2008, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by FallenWyvern

This sounds like an easy problem to fix.

Tell her that she is getting on your nerves to the point that you want to kill her.

Show her this forum.

Problem fixed.

LOL I like this quote. Establish dominance, be a total dick to her, if she don't like it she will move. Don't worry about your boy, I'm sure he is aware his girl is a manipulating bitch.

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-05-2008, 02:19 PM

Ahh the cvnt is leaving... nice... i can now go about my day with out having to put up with her...

I keep my distance from her, because I know if i talk to her ill explode on her... and then ill be the bad guy.

**scottythebody** · 07-05-2008, 02:37 PM

Why can't you just move out?

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-05-2008, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by scottythebody

Why can't you just move out?

Because its not worth it for me to pick up and just leave when i got all my shit here. Plus i only have a little over a year left of this nonsense.

**numbat** · 07-05-2008, 04:14 PM

You can't fight fire with fire when it comes to women.

Kill her with kindness..

"Oh, thank you for throwing all my stuff in my room, I was just about to do that."

"My don't you look really nice today."

"Is there anything i can do for ya?"

Etc. Etc.

Works like a charm. They feed off of drama and conflict. Though I might warn you if she is mentally unstable this tactic over time could even attract her to you.

Try it and see how she reacts.

Change the battle plan.

**playboii** · 07-05-2008, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by ErnstHatAngst

Start walking around the house in your underwear carrying a loaded gun. For no particular reason. All the time. This will remove many an unwanted houseguest.

lmaoooooo

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-05-2008, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by numbat

You can't fight fire with fire when it comes to women.

Kill her with kindness..

"Oh, thank you for throwing all my stuff in my room, I was just about to do that."

"My don't you look really nice today."

"Is there anything i can do for ya?"

Etc. Etc.

Works like a charm. They feed off of drama and conflict. Though I might warn you if she is mentally unstable this tactic over time could even attract her to you.

Try it and see how she reacts.

Change the battle plan.

Well I dont want to lie to the poor girl...

Thats another thing to tip the scales... her sense of style... and her interior decorating skills are appalling.

She dresses like a 5 yr old. Sun dresses with over sized crocs to wear around the house...

And in the living room, there was a picture of a green fairy... and a vampire crying... Shes stuck in her 11 yr old mindset.

**playboii** · 07-05-2008, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by RoadToRecovery

Well I dont want to lie to the poor girl...

Thats another thing to tip the scales... her sense of style... and her interior decorating skills are appalling.

She dresses like a 5 yr old. Sun dresses with over sized crocs to wear around the house...

And in the living room, there was a picture of a green fairy... and a vampire crying... Shes stuck in her 11 yr old mindset.

lol omg dude i love these stories keep them coming! is it possible that u can get a picture of her? lol i wana see this ugly bitch

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-05-2008, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by playboii

lol omg dude i love these stories keep them coming! is it possible that u can get a picture of her? lol i wana see this ugly bitch

I will... but for now... picture schmeegle from Lord of the rings... but in human form. Shes hideous.

**rockinred** · 07-05-2008, 05:34 PM

Originally Posted by RoadToRecovery

This i get mixed opinions about....

I had boys come down from NY one weekend... and they walk in the house... and sit on the couch... and were just bsing... and she comes out of the bathroom... in a towel and walks over to us... and leans over them and hands me a ticket she got and asked me about it.

I was like wtf are you doing?

Maybe its me, maybe im old school italian... but if my girlfriend came out of the bathroom in a god damn towel in front of dudes... especially ones shes never met before... Id lose it. She walks out in a towel all the time... its ****in nauseating...

My boys were like... wtf was that all about? Who the hell was that?

Even they hate her, and they met her once.

**playboii** · 07-05-2008, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by RoadToRecovery

I will... but for now... picture schmeegle from Lord of the rings... but in human form. Shes hideous.

lmaooooooo omg..wtf ur boy doing wit her?

**RaWRZ0R!** · 07-05-2008, 10:27 PM

dude act like a sex crazed guy..take like a viagra or two and be like ME LIKEY LIKEY! COME HERE! if she runs then chase her out of the house and barricade the door.. if she doesnt tell your boy she tried to seduce you

**Nicotine** · 07-05-2008, 10:35 PM

no way, that's sexual harassment or "rape" and then he's in huge shit.

have sex on her bed. film it. leave said film on her bed entitled "play me".

even leave the "left overs" on her sheets.

**RaWRZ0R!** · 07-05-2008, 10:39 PM

rofl haha then since its your house you couldnt get in trouble with indecent exposure just do the thing that dsm said and play xbox just make sure your hard...they can shut herself up then lol

**firmechicano831** · 07-05-2008, 11:48 PM

so i think you've been to nice to her and to much of a puss..y to tell her the truth. You have to confront that hoe and tell her how much you fuc.ken hate her guts when she gets you mad. Get to mad at her ass that she will be scared and will leave. lol

**rockinred** · 07-06-2008, 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

so i think you've been to nice to her and to much of a puss..y to tell her the truth. You have to confront that hoe and tell her how much you fuc.ken hate her guts when she gets you mad. Get to mad at her ass that she will be scared and will leave. lol

Or they will have mad sex..

**juicy_brucy** · 07-06-2008, 07:30 AM

I didn't read this thread... if someone said it already, then sorry... Put a Fvking dead bolt on your bedroom door. get a loud stereo for in your room... im talking over 100watts at least. Put on some Slipknot on repeat and sneak out, locking the stereo in your room... blastin away.

**Pac Man** · 07-06-2008, 07:35 AM

**** that, just pick up and move, no notice.
She sounds like a nightmare, nothing pisses me off more than a snot nose bitch who's allergic to dust.

**firmechicano831** · 07-06-2008, 01:30 PM

I'd walk will no shirt on. some boxers will ur dic.k all the way up to the kitchen. Bring this broad home and make her yell really hard and loud every other day while u bang her in ur room. lol

**rodgerj** · 07-06-2008, 02:52 PM

Before you do any of this get a lock for your room and bolt that muthafcuka.

1) Sh1t on her bedroom carpet and brush it in with a broom

2) Cut a hole in the bottom of her mattress and stick a frozen chicken in it. (By the time she finds out where the smell is coming from it will be too late)

3) Follow DSM's advice on playing the XBOX nude. But make SURE you have a woody when she walks in.

4) Walk around naked all the time with a big woody on. Randomly hang things from it like a coat hanger or a tie. Try and strike up a conversation with her while you swing it from side to side.

5) Do not flush after you take a sh1t. If you have two washrooms, shit in one and wipe you ass in the other. Let her catch you going between the two with your pants round your ankles with a sh1tty ass.

6) Piss in her breakfast milk

7) Put a used condom in her shoe

8) Put a pair of her knickers on your head and let her catch you wanking on your knees on the living room carpet. Pretend you were wanking over spongebob sqaurepants.

9) Tell her your madly in love with her and you had a dream that she let you do a cleveland steamer

10) Stick your finger up your ass and try get her to smell it

11) By some backless chaps and walk around the house with a cloth cleaning up. Have her toothbrush sticking out of your ass crack and swear blind you have no idea how it got there. When she puts it in the garbage show her the pics of it up your ass from over a month ago.

The key is get her to attack you. Then get her arrested and get a restraining order that keeps her from coming near the house. Find out her new address and keep sending her envelope full of shit. If you want to be a real ass stick a razor blade in the first one.

**RaWRZ0R!** · 07-06-2008, 02:57 PM

wow rodjer lol that brings a tear to my eyes...so beautiful. Just hold your gun and blast the stereo...when she tries to turn it down point at it and be like B*TCH HELL NO! YOU DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING THAT BELONGS TO ME YOU SNOBBY LITTLE C*NT

**Bojangles69** · 07-06-2008, 04:32 PM

Catch a good episode of Forensic Files.

Than do her in good. Be careful with DNA. Have her meet you in a park, taze her while shes in her car. Some gasoline and matches and have a good aliby.

But make sure you tell a mod to delete this thread first. Actually just trash your entire computer, thats what I'd do.

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-07-2008, 06:25 AM

I actually tried leaving once with barely 2 weeks notice and my roommate flipped. Threatened to tell my command about me and shit. He said "I gotta turn the knife back around to you". Hes a ****in piece of shit as well. He is the type to hold shit over my head as well. I cant stand people like that. He has hooked me up with a few decent deals here and there, but hed **** me if i gave him a reason to.

Im trapped in that hell hole. I told him I want out and he tried putting a guilt trip on me.

I left for NY for a few days... just to get away and go home...
Friday before I left I used a shit load of dishes and then just left lol.

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-07-2008, 06:57 AM

Also... he said that my problems with her are childish and too suck it up... He said"bro this shit is pathetic... just get along with her... its not hard"

My response was simply this:

Just because your a push over and you allow people to walk all over does not make it OK or make you a good guy. The fact that i dont like her is not immature, or childish. Its life... people just dont get along with certain people. Get over it. Im not going to like her... She represents everything that I am against. Shes weak... I hate weak people. She has a problem with something I do and I dont know about it until she sends you a text message for you to come tell me. Now that is pathetic.

His justification:
Well shes a bitch, dude... all girls are bitches.

My response...
"Youve been with GIRLS... and thats your problem... find a WOMAN. I dont bring chicks here from NY because they would tear brittany apart.I only interact with mature women." (Which is actually true... if I brought any girl from here that i chill with back to that house with those 2 shit would get ugly quick...)

Im not perfect one bit, but I have morals and class and im up front... My biggest problem with them both is that they represent everything i was brought up to be against...

Prime example - I live in a poorer district of the northern burbs of outskirts philly and we live in a black dominant area... and all i hear out of his mouth when we roll by a group of black dudes is "Fvckin N*ggers"... I laugh... and ask how are they? You drop the n bomb left and right... but you dont have the balls to say it to their face. Only people that can be justified to say that are the ones who have walked up to a group of black dudes and dropped that word negatively. And he is misogynistic in the worst way.
Every female is a bitch... ho... whatever. But he wont say it to there face. ****in coward.

**Dukkit** · 07-07-2008, 07:27 AM

donkey punch her in her sleep. blame it on a home intrusion. make her feel unsafe in her own house. hopefully she will move back to her grandmas.

**Glow2004** · 07-07-2008, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Play your xbox butt @$$ naked and see what she does next time when she comes up.

hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah

**Glow2004** · 07-07-2008, 07:45 AM

Do this mate http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV7Gf...eature=related

**Dukkit** · 07-07-2008, 07:50 AM

Originally Posted by RoadToRecovery

Also... he said that my problems with her are childish and too suck it up... He said"bro this shit is pathetic... just get along with her... its not hard"

My response was simply this:

Just because your a push over and you allow people to walk all over does not make it OK or make you a good guy. The fact that i dont like her is not immature, or childish. Its life... people just dont get along with certain people. Get over it. Im not going to like her... She represents everything that I am against. Shes weak... I hate weak people. She has a problem with something I do and I dont know about it until she sends you a text message for you to come tell me. Now that is pathetic.

His justification:
Well shes a bitch, dude... all girls are bitches.

My response...
"Youve been with GIRLS... and thats your problem... find a WOMAN. I dont bring chicks here from NY because they would tear brittany apart.I only interact with mature women." (Which is actually true... if I brought any girl from here that i chill with back to that house with those 2 shit would get ugly quick...)

Im not perfect one bit, but I have morals and class and im up front... My biggest problem with them both is that they represent everything i was brought up to be against...

Prime example - I live in a poorer district of the northern burbs of outskirts philly and we live in a black dominant area... and all i hear out of his mouth when we roll by a group of black dudes is "Fvckin N*ggers"... I laugh... and ask how are they? You drop the n bomb left and right... but you dont have the balls to say it to their face. Only people that can be justified to say that are the ones who have walked up to a group of black dudes and dropped that word negatively. And he is misogynistic in the worst way.
Every female is a bitch... ho... whatever. But he wont say it to there face. ****in coward.

hmm, sounds like you live down the street from me.

**playboii** · 07-07-2008, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by Glow2004

Do this mate http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV7Gf...eature=related

dude omg im crying lmaoooooo

**Ernst** · 07-07-2008, 10:12 AM

I almost cried laughing. It almost makes me wish my roomie was a tool just so I could do it.

**Dukkit** · 07-07-2008, 10:19 AM

haha. thats awesome. dude fell on his ass hard. reminds me of when i lived with my best friends. we had a closet that went from room into my one roomates room. and he would always sneak into when i was fvcking or asleep to play pranks on me. so i got some saran wrap and wrapped it nice and tight from the one rack to the other, then i lubed it up with a paper towel dripping with his dogs pee, (his dog would pee in my room all the time) and one night when i knew he was in his room i started screaming like bloody murder, the fastest way to my room was through the closet so he comes running over and slams into the pee covered saran wrap and gets knocked on his ass. oh man. he was pissed. but he laughs about it now

**Pac Man** · 07-07-2008, 02:21 PM

Did you sign the lease?
If not than he can tell your commander all he wants, it's not gonna matter.

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-07-2008, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by Ironside

Did you sign the lease?
If not than he can tell your commander all he wants, it's not gonna matter.

In a perfect world this is true. But Im apart of a very small command and have a bad rep there. If he complains ill be thrown back into the barracks.

**FallenWyvern** · 07-07-2008, 09:43 PM

Passive aggressive much?

Dude you need to man up and talk to her. Usually it is women who let little things build up without talking about it.

Seriously what you are doing by not confronting her is a total petty childish move. Who gives a crap if she cries.

Tell her that you have thought about killing her because of her being annoying. She will either act right or leave. If she has dirt on you, then you are just her bitch for now and there is nothing you can do.

**RangersLTW** · 07-07-2008, 10:08 PM

Tie her a** up and throw her in a hog pin. no evidence they will eat everything. clean up the house, go to to a hospital and get some of there cleaning agents that kill all blood borne pathogens. Tell your friend she ran off to join a donkey show.

**RoadToRecovery** · 07-08-2008, 12:58 AM

Originally Posted by FallenWyvern

Passive aggressive much?

Dude you need to man up and talk to her. Usually it is women who let little things build up without talking about it.

Seriously what you are doing by not confronting her is a total petty childish move. Who gives a crap if she cries.

Tell her that you have thought about killing her because of her being annoying. She will either act right or leave. If she has dirt on you, then you are just her bitch for now and there is nothing you can do.

Passive aggressive? Hardly...
Man up he says lol Have you even bothered to read any of the posts?
I dont have patience to talk to her... I say something to her... she flips out and runs down stairs and cries. Like previously stated if you would read alittle bit - Ive tried being civil - shit ive even hammered her. Nothing works... So im fighting fire with fire. And its working... Main reason why I havent said anything recently, is my temper... I know that I will ****ing explode on her and I have a feeling it will provoke something.

Last year my roomate hit her with a snow ball, and she ran into the kitchen and got a knife and literally tried stabbing him. Not joke haha funny... no... drop dead serious with a friggin large steak knife chased him. If something like that ever occurred... Id black out... and wake up in a large puddle of blood with body parts scattered every wehre.

And im far from "her b itch"... i do what I want, im just trying to see if maybe its me or at least partially me maybe im the crazy one. They both say im ****ed up so im trying to be an adult and bite my tongue for once for a little bit. But its clear now whos wrong.

She doesnt have dirt on me... her boyfriend who works with me does... however, the marijuana garden he had growing in the attic is more than sufficient to keep things hush hush. But im not taking that chance... and he knows im no rat so when he comes back ill see how shit goes.

Have alittle more common courtesy with your posts also dude.

**dwaynewade** · 07-08-2008, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by FallenWyvern

This sounds like an easy problem to fix.

Tell her that she is getting on your nerves to the point that you want to kill her.

Show her this forum.

Problem fixed.

Yea do this !