Swinger issues???

**TOOBAD** · 07-14-2008, 07:53 PM

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for about 5 years now. For the most part it has been great, I have slept with some of the most beautiful women (my wife being the hottest of course) that I could have ever imagined.

So this past weekend we went to a swingers party where I live that happens about once a month. Things were going good, there was a lot of couples there! A lot of bisexual hotties running around which was perfect. Well I overindulged in alcohol which I hardly ever do, but I did this time. I started talking to this girl and although nothing ever came about it, my wife thought I was way too in to her and showing her too much attention.

Now here is the kicker, I can fcuk girls, I have had 100's of blowjobs but because I showed this girl to much "individual attention" my wife is PISSED OFF! I guess in the lifestyle their is etiquette to follow, you are supposed to do everything as a "couple". Now, I would never do anything to jeopardize my marriage with her, do you think I should pull the plug on the lifestyle and go back to being "vanilla"?

Btw, this is not the first time it has happened, but over the coarse of 5 years I have done it about 5 times (which is 5 to many). And everytime I was fcuked up which like I said, I rarely do. I just focus in on one paticular girl and i am all over her??? I feel really bad because that is not the right thing to do. But I hate to give up the lifestyle because it is so much fun!

**DSM4Life** · 07-14-2008, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by TOOBAD

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for about 5 years now. For the most part it has been great, I have slept with some of the most beautiful women (my wife being the hottest of course) that I could have ever imagined.

So this past weekend we went to a swingers party where I live that happens about once a month. Things were going good, there was a lot of couples there! A lot of bisexual hotties running around which was perfect. Well I overindulged in alcohol which I hardly ever do, but I did this time. I started talking to this girl and although nothing ever came about it, my wife thought I was way too in to her and showing her too much attention.

Now here is the kicker, I can fcuk girls, I have had 100's of blowjobs but because I showed this girl to much "individual attention" my wife is PISSED OFF! I guess in the lifestyle their is etiquette to follow, you are supposed to do everything as a "couple". Now, I would never do anything to jeopardize my marriage with her, do you think I should pull the plug on the lifestyle and go back to being "vanilla"?

Btw, this is not the first time it has happened, but over the coarse of 5 years I have done it about 5 times (which is 5 to many). And everytime I was fcuked up which like I said, I rarely do. I just focus in on one paticular girl and i am all over her??? I feel really bad because that is not the right thing to do. But I hate to give up the lifestyle because it is so much fun!

There is a big difference between sex and feelings. You showed this girl "feelings" which is why your wife was so upset.

**TOOBAD** · 07-14-2008, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

There is a big difference between sex and feelings. You showed this girl "feelings" which is why your wife was so upset.

You are exactly right! So what should I do now...there is a good chance she might tell me we are through. And it was a pure accident.

**needmorestrength** · 07-14-2008, 08:30 PM

U guys are married... You put your dick inside of some girl...And your wife has some random guys dick sliding in and out of her?????????? Ya, thats a ****ed up lifestyle no offence

**FREAK** · 07-14-2008, 08:51 PM

my wife and i swing as well but no other men just woman!!! So im allset

**FREAK** · 07-14-2008, 08:57 PM

just womans tongues in mine

**WEBB** · 07-14-2008, 08:59 PM

instead of giving up the life style that you both enjioy, why not give up the part that is fukin it up...getting hammered on booze....if that is the common factor when you fuk up then remove it, show your wife when you are sober you can handle the lifestyle fine...

**StoneGRMI** · 07-14-2008, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

U guys are married... You put your dick inside of some girl...And your wife has some random guys dick sliding in and out of her?????????? Ya, thats a ****ed up lifestyle no offence

What he said

**FREAK** · 07-14-2008, 09:04 PM

booze will get u in trouble every time bro,u gotta be into ur wife with the same intensity

**inky-e** · 07-14-2008, 09:09 PM

I've been there. We used to do it alot back in the good ol drug and alcohol days and it eventually caused problems. For women its the emotional connection they don't like seeing their man pay too much attention to other chicks. Mine had a strict rule no kissing! BTW it was always with women, sometimes 3-4 at the same time. Never men. I personally could not see my ol lady being fukked by another man, double standard, you bet your ass. Thats just the way it is. We don't do that anymore, been years, I wouldn't even entertain the thought. Just show your lady some love and stay away from the "life" for a while.

**einstein1978** · 07-14-2008, 09:13 PM

serious question, i already know someone is going to clown this one
but
Do u have to have a big dick to go to swinger party's
seriously

**inky-e** · 07-14-2008, 09:25 PM

Great first post einstein! Classic.

**TOOBAD** · 07-14-2008, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by FREAK

booze will get u in trouble every time bro,u gotta be into ur wife with the same intensity

You said exactly what she just said!!! Maybe I don't deserve her, i mean, i flirt with other girls but i am intimate with her. It is different, I don't have to chase my wife but that doesn't mean i am not in to her, she is hot as hell.

Man this is bad, we have so much together and the last time this happened (2 1/2 years ago) she told me she wanted a divorce. By the grace of God six months later she finally changed her mind and then i did it again...

Man, sometimes I wish i never would have gotten in to the lifestyle! But then again, I am a sexual freak....damn do I need counseling?

**einstein1978** · 07-14-2008, 09:30 PM

Originally Posted by inky-e

Great first post einstein! Classic.

the name says its all; seriously through; i remember i wanted to be a playboy from the time i was like 3 years old . so whats the deal

**TOOBAD** · 07-14-2008, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by inky-e

I've been there. We used to do it alot back in the good ol drug and alcohol days and it eventually caused problems. For women its the emotional connection they don't like seeing their man pay too much attention to other chicks. Mine had a strict rule no kissing! BTW it was always with women, sometimes 3-4 at the same time. Never men. I personally could not see my ol lady being fukked by another man, double standard, you bet your ass. Thats just the way it is. We don't do that anymore, been years, I wouldn't even entertain the thought. Just show your lady some love and stay away from the "life" for a while.

We have the no kissing rule to and condoms are mandatory! We started with just single bi females but they are like unicorns...they don't exist or at least hard for us to find!

Your right, we should stay away from the lifestyle but her reply is that it would not be fair to her because she is bi and needs to be with a woman. Now I don't know about you but doesn't that put the lifestyle before our marriage?

**G4R** · 07-14-2008, 09:33 PM

This is a lifestyle I will never know.... maybe next time you are having a convo with some chick, if you see your wife starting to look at you or come near you, just throw the chick down and start f***ing her.... then your wife wouldn't be as mad... as odd as that seems.....

**Jfew44** · 07-14-2008, 09:56 PM

I respect that everybody is different but man, I couldn't imagine seeing some dude having sex with my girl. I would go F***in nuts. I could be with her and another girl tho.

The lifestyle is not before your marrige. If you two truly love each other then you can work it out. If she needs to be with other women then let her. Or watch. Or join. Just make sure she know that she comes first bro. Good luck with everything

**RuhlFreak55** · 07-15-2008, 07:09 AM

Originally Posted by WEBB

instead of giving up the life style that you both enjioy, why not give up the part that is fukin it up...getting hammered on booze....if that is the common factor when you fuk up then remove it, show your wife when you are sober you can handle the lifestyle fine...

u read my mind

**smokeyd** · 07-15-2008, 07:51 AM

nevermind

***G-1000*** · 07-15-2008, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by TOOBAD

We have the no kissing rule to and condoms are mandatory! We started with just single bi females but they are like unicorns...they don't exist or at least hard for us to find!

Your right, we should stay away from the lifestyle but her reply is that it would not be fair to her because she is bi and needs to be with a woman. Now I don't know about you but doesn't that put the lifestyle before our marriage?

Bro this lifestyle is not about what one person needs. It should be about you guys as a couple.

**paulzane** · 07-15-2008, 10:18 AM

SPEAK TO YOUR WIFE ..... it is that simple!

**dwaynewade** · 07-15-2008, 10:33 AM

my opinionated 2 cents ... other p p's in my wifey would be repulsive... only in favor of more pewns, and if you have kids or plan on it I would stop all activities including extra pewn...

sick pups!

**MFT81** · 07-15-2008, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by inky-e

Great first post einstein! Classic.

LMAO,

well you got to get that post count up somehow

**Polska** · 07-15-2008, 12:57 PM

Guys posting statements like "That's repulsive", etc.... should have a strong "IMO" after it.
People that can swing (ie, be able to separate sex from love) and are secure enough with themselves to do it are very lucky people indeed.

**RuhlFreak55** · 07-15-2008, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Polska

Guys posting statements like "That's repulsive", etc.... should have a strong "IMO" after it.
People that can swing (ie, be able to separate sex from love) and are secure enough with themselves to do it are very lucky people indeed.

regardless.....to each his own and i don't think anyone should be judged for something like this.....it's cool in my mind lol

**Skully44420** · 07-15-2008, 01:11 PM

well thats a hard thing to deal with...i would say give up the getting ****ed up part and just enjoy it sober...also maybe tell your wife she can have her?...maybe she was jealous cause she was talking to you instead of her?...probably not but its a thought LOL...either way good luck man

**calgarian** · 07-15-2008, 01:27 PM

**facile** · 07-15-2008, 01:46 PM

My girl is bi and likes to bring girls home for us, the catch is I CAN never show interest in a girl, she has to have complete control, over the choice, small price to pay!

I wonder if it would be different if we decided to full swing? she doesn't have interest in other men,now, or at least that she says, which is okay with me.

Women, are wired differently then us and sometimes they don't make sense.

**wantmoremass** · 07-15-2008, 03:11 PM

i think it's funny how many people on here think swinging with another girl is cool, but with another guy is off-limits :-)

personally, i dont' think i could swing period - i'm just too jealous.

**inky-e** · 07-15-2008, 03:36 PM

I don't understand this whole "bi-sexual" thing. I just don't. You're either gay or you're not. IMO

**facile** · 07-15-2008, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by inky-e

I don't understand this whole "bi-sexual" thing. I just don't. You're either gay or you're not. IMO

You don't have to understand, but 2 women having sex with each other and you is a beautiful thing!!

***G-1000*** · 07-15-2008, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by inky-e

I don't understand this whole "bi-sexual" thing. I just don't. You're either gay or you're not. IMO

What is not to understand. Its fun to watch two chicks go at it. I dont care what its called gay or bi. As long as they do it to please me.

**numbat** · 07-15-2008, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

U guys are married... You put your dick inside of some girl...And your wife has some random guys dick sliding in and out of her?????????? Ya, thats a ****ed up lifestyle no offence

What he said again. Just goes to show how differently wired we all are.

**Nicotine** · 07-15-2008, 06:05 PM

see, if me and my bf decided on a 3 way...

it would seem like a good idea...untill i saw someone touch him....

then the fina would kick in, i'd punch the 3rd guy in the face, and not talk to my bf for a month.

but im the jealous type :P

**Tri26** · 07-15-2008, 06:54 PM

My wife and I have talked about it. Havent done it yet. Cant find another attractive couple and its not something you just blurt out. haaaaaaaaaaaaa

***G-1000*** · 07-15-2008, 07:45 PM

Originally Posted by Tri26

My wife and I have talked about it. Havent done it yet. Cant find another attractive couple and its not something you just blurt out. haaaaaaaaaaaaa

start off with a swing club. This way you can see what goes on before engaging.

**J-Dogg** · 07-15-2008, 07:51 PM

If I loved a girl enough to marry her, I am sure I would love her enough to control my desire to sleep with other girls.

It's your life style, but why get married if sleeping around is the life style?

***G-1000*** · 07-15-2008, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

If I loved a girl enough to marry her, I am sure I would love her enough to control my desire to sleep with other girls.

It's your life style, but why get married if sleeping around is the life style?

Its not like your cheating. The point of swing is to spice things up. Its for you and your wifes enjoyment. Or at lest that is what it is for us. We use the other people to make for more excitement for are relationship.

I liek to see my wife get excited and feel good. The same goes for her, she likes to please me and do thing that turn me on.

**J-Dogg** · 07-15-2008, 08:19 PM

Originally Posted by Gsxxr

Its not like your cheating. The point of swing is to spice things up. Its for you and your wifes enjoyment. Or at lest that is what it is for us. We use the other people to make for more excitement for are relationship.

I liek to see my wife get excited and feel good. The same goes for her, she likes to please me and do thing that turn me on.

To each his own I guess. I would not enjoy it, I'd feel guilty and awful about it

It just seems like it would come to back to bite you eventually or could eventually ruin the marriage. I guess most of them end in divorce anyway though!

**TOOBAD** · 07-15-2008, 08:49 PM

Just a little fyi, I spoke with the wife tonight. Basically begged and pleaded for another chance. She finally gave in and we both agreed to put the lifestyle on hold for a while, maybe forever if it makes our marriage even better. So what's next? I have made a commitment to her to be in to her like i was that girl the other night at the club. The problem is that was alcohol induced and I really am not normally like that BUT because she saw me be that way, she is expecting it from me.

I guess men are different when it comes to that siht! I can fcuk like a porno star (for real i can) but i get a very low score when it comes to being intimant and romantic. Any suggestions, should i try reading a book or something. I can not let her down again, she is an incredible girl and deserves nothing but the best.

For anyone considering this lifestyle i would strongly suggest that you realize what repercussions "could" be involved. Just something as simple as the emotional disconnection from my wife when we "played" with another couple was detrimental on its own! And it can get a lot worse than that.

Bottom line, some fantasies are better off left in the head!