How do you forgive someone?

**40plusnewbie** · 06-15-2010, 10:38 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

so what did u learn from ur dad???? do u want ur son to hate u when all set and done? YOU have a chance to break this vicious cycle....the power is in your hand so when u r in the same situation as ur dad ur kids are on ur bed side....dont u think its only fair?

Yes, that is why I have decided to not have (and don't) have children. Ironically, ALL children love me. And I love all kids too! They are the only people on this earth that do not have the ability to hurt me. I believe children are the most precious things on this planet, I guess kids can sense that in me or something.

My wife is very jealous of my relationship with all my nieces and nephews, especially on her side of the family, because they always run to hug me, ask about me, etc. She feels ignored and neglected as a result.

When I go to a family party I'm the adult sitting at the kiddie table, I'm the adult all the kids flock to.

Given the pain I experienced at the hands of the people who raised me as a child I would willingly step into a situation and give my life to save a child I didn't even know.

I HAVE broken the cycle, just not with my own father (well I did actually, I forgave him 15 years ago until he regressed, laid into me, and brought back flashbacks from my childhood at a moment of one of the greatest crisis' in my life, which happened very recently).

And I do still forgive him for all the horrible shit he did to me when I was growing up, it wouldn't have been real forgiveness if I was angry about it now.

I hate/resent him for re-opening my heart to him as an adult and slowly building a relationship where I came to depend on him as a primary and almost sole source for emotional support as an adult. Then he turned on a dime in an instant, yelling at me like he did when I was five and he was drunk for no reason whatsoever when I needed his support and assistance most. Or maybe I hate myself for giving him a second chance.....

**Atomini** · 06-16-2010, 05:45 AM

I have dad issues too.

It's pretty fvcking retarded. You HAVE to break the cycle man...

**calgarian** · 06-16-2010, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by 40plusnewbie

Yes, that is why I have decided to not have (and don't) have children. Ironically, ALL children love me. And I love all kids too! They are the only people on this earth that do not have the ability to hurt me. I believe children are the most precious things on this planet, I guess kids can sense that in me or something.

My wife is very jealous of my relationship with all my nieces and nephews, especially on her side of the family, because they always run to hug me, ask about me, etc. She feels ignored and neglected as a result.

When I go to a family party I'm the adult sitting at the kiddie table, I'm the adult all the kids flock to.

Given the pain I experienced at the hands of the people who raised me as a child I would willingly step into a situation and give my life to save a child I didn't even know.

I HAVE broken the cycle, just not with my own father (well I did actually, I forgave him 15 years ago until he regressed, laid into me, and brought back flashbacks from my childhood at a moment of one of the greatest crisis' in my life, which happened very recently).

And I do still forgive him for all the horrible shit he did to me when I was growing up, it wouldn't have been real forgiveness if I was angry about it now.

I hate/resent him for re-opening my heart to him as an adult and slowly building a relationship where I came to depend on him as a primary and almost sole source for emotional support as an adult. Then he turned on a dime in an instant, yelling at me like he did when I was five and he was drunk for no reason whatsoever when I needed his support and assistance most. Or maybe I hate myself for giving him a second chance.....

Dont.......cause what u did tells him that u r a better person (not that he will care in the end i know that type) but u did right thing he is already in hospital and believe me he will die in agony and pain and knowing that his own son hated him I think thats enough of punishment for him I am pretty sure he will suffer alot its just Karma its a bitch when u r receiving side of it. Say ur piece and keep doing what u r doing......good luck to u.

**40plusnewbie** · 06-16-2010, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by calgarian

Say ur piece and keep doing what u r doing......good luck to u.

Thanks, it means a lot to me reading this post from you

**calgarian** · 06-16-2010, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by 40plusnewbie

Thanks, it means a lot to me reading this post from you

no worries I just have a really soft spot for my dad and my son, I wish i can tell u stories is to how hard it was for him to raise me the way he did my only regret is that I wasnt with him when he passed away he died one week after i came back cause my fvcking holidays were over.