Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 40 of 80
  1. #1
    Angel of death's Avatar
    Angel of death is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    1,727

    Unfortunate masturbation stories?

    Anyone?Well I've never been caught, but I just blew an unexpectedly violent load and landed some on my keyboard. ****KK the keys r sticking

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    662

  3. #3
    Older lifter is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Living easy in Asia
    Posts
    2,243
    Hahahahahaa. were you lookin at Freaks Bo*b thread at the time...lmao

  4. #4
    rhino1's Avatar
    rhino1 is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Your GF's Hot Wet Snatch
    Posts
    2,219
    Quote Originally Posted by Angel of death View Post
    Anyone?Well I've never been caught, but I just blew an unexpectedly violent load and landed some on my keyboard. ****KK the keys r sticking
    lol...

    was getting blown and it gagged my girlfriend at that time so she yanked her head back and it shot some where....

    WE COULDNT FIND IT....

    Well....her dad found it the next day...On the wall...he was like..."who sneezed on the wall?"

  5. #5
    legobricks's Avatar
    legobricks is offline Retired AR Monitor
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    5,150
    dont ya hate those?

    No real unfortunate masturbation stories but i did have my mother walk in my room while getting a BJ from my gfriend at the family Christmas party back when i was 17. Talk about embarassing!

  6. #6
    Angel of death's Avatar
    Angel of death is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    1,727
    Quote Originally Posted by rhino1 View Post
    lol...was getting blown and it gagged my girlfriend at that time so she yanked her head back and it shot some where....WE COULDNT FIND IT....Well....her dad found it the next day...On the wall...he was like..."who sneezed on the wall?"
    lmao that reminds me of theres something about mary when its on his ear. at least is wasnt on your ear

  7. #7
    rhino1's Avatar
    rhino1 is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Your GF's Hot Wet Snatch
    Posts
    2,219
    It was around that time when that move came out...I checked my ear...and hers...

  8. #8
    Phate's Avatar
    Phate is offline Got Diet? ~VET~ AR Hall of Famer~
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    10,940
    Quote Originally Posted by legobricks View Post
    dont ya hate those?

    No real unfortunate masturbation stories but i did have my mother walk in my room while getting a BJ from my gfriend at the family Christmas party back when i was 17. Talk about embarassing!
    LOL, same, though i was in the middle of pounding the shvt out of this girl and my mom walked in, lol, i didn't even notice till i hear, "guess ya'll are busy, i'll come back later", then the door closed, i actually had to stop for a second cause i started laughing so hard when i realized what had happened

  9. #9
    Amorphic's Avatar
    Amorphic is offline Veritas, Aequitas ~
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Canada - No source checks
    Posts
    16,146
    i got a blowjob on a bus on the way to a concert i was going to see. girl had her head under a blanket and i was rolling with it. i looked over and across on the other side of the bus this greasy looking 40 something year old was locked on me.

    my dink sank like the titanic, it was awful

  10. #10
    Phate's Avatar
    Phate is offline Got Diet? ~VET~ AR Hall of Famer~
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    10,940
    Quote Originally Posted by Amorphic View Post
    i got a blowjob on a bus on the way to a concert i was going to see. girl had her head under a blanket and i was rolling with it. i looked over and across on the other side of the bus this greasy looking 40 something year old was locked on me.

    my dink sank like the titanic, it was awful
    LOL, that's hilarious, back in high school i used to love band trips for obvious reasons, some real freaks in band, anyway, i was getting a blowjob in the back seat on the way back from a game and all of a sudden the lights come on...yeah you can imagine the rest

  11. #11
    legobricks's Avatar
    legobricks is offline Retired AR Monitor
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Phoenix
    Posts
    5,150
    Quote Originally Posted by Amorphic View Post
    i got a blowjob on a bus on the way to a concert i was going to see. girl had her head under a blanket and i was rolling with it. i looked over and across on the other side of the bus this greasy looking 40 something year old was locked on me.

    my dink sank like the titanic, it was awful
    LOL so the "unfortunate masturbation story" was acutally this 40 year old dude rubbin his junk to u getting a little dome.

    Classy!

  12. #12
    Older lifter is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Living easy in Asia
    Posts
    2,243
    Quote Originally Posted by legobricks View Post
    lol so the "unfortunate masturbation story" was acutally this 40 year old dude rubbin his junk to u getting a little dome.

    Classy!:aagreen22
    lmfao.............

  13. #13
    Amorphic's Avatar
    Amorphic is offline Veritas, Aequitas ~
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Canada - No source checks
    Posts
    16,146
    Quote Originally Posted by legobricks View Post
    LOL so the "unfortunate masturbation story" was acutally this 40 year old dude rubbin his junk to u getting a little dome.

    Classy!
    you know it, thats how i roll.

  14. #14
    Dizz28's Avatar
    Dizz28 is offline I reject your reality and substitute my own
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Homeless...
    Posts
    6,170
    i was beating the meat and i looked over, My cat was watching me....that's GD creepy, lemme tell you

  15. #15
    rhino1's Avatar
    rhino1 is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Your GF's Hot Wet Snatch
    Posts
    2,219
    Quote Originally Posted by Dizz28 View Post
    i was beating the meat and i looked over, My cat was watching me....that's GD creepy, lemme tell you
    lol...Getting a bj one time and felt somthing fuzzy right as i came and the girl realized it was her dog and he was going for a peice and right then I came right as she tried to knock him away and he got it in the face...

    I was laying back i didnt know what was going on at the time
    Last edited by rhino1; 11-06-2008 at 10:48 PM.

  16. #16
    gst528i's Avatar
    gst528i is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,541
    ^^^^ lol .. wow that dog must hate you....


    I was giving it doggy style to my ex girl. Thought i had the house to my self when my mom got home from work early. She opens door and i jump of the bitch. Her dumbass say hi while in doggy position. She doesn;t even cover herself. lol....
    That was something...

  17. #17
    WARMachine's Avatar
    WARMachine is offline Post Cycle Extraordinaire~GOT PCT?
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    R.I.P. TMOS
    Posts
    7,981
    Great stories guys...

    Once, i was getting head from the girlfriend when i was staying with my father back in Brazil...

    She was doing her thing, but we had the door open, (one thing leads to another after all.) and he walks right in...

    She doesnt even know, (obviously, her head is down ) and my old man walks in, looks at me, smiles, gives me a thumbs up, and closes the door...

    ****in funny as shit...

  18. #18
    rhino1's Avatar
    rhino1 is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Your GF's Hot Wet Snatch
    Posts
    2,219
    Quote Originally Posted by war4BTT View Post
    Great stories guys...

    Once, i was getting head from the girlfriend when i was staying with my father back in Brazil...

    She was doing her thing, but we had the door open, (one thing leads to another after all.) and he walks right in...

    She doesnt even know, (obviously, her head is down ) and my old man walks in, looks at me, smiles, gives me a thumbs up, and closes the door...

    ****in funny as shit...
    classic

  19. #19
    CSAR's Avatar
    CSAR is offline AR's Cunning Linguist
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    In a bowl of rice
    Posts
    5,218
    Quote Originally Posted by war4BTT View Post
    Great stories guys...

    Once, i was getting head from the girlfriend when i was staying with my father back in Brazil...

    She was doing her thing, but we had the door open, (one thing leads to another after all.) and he walks right in...

    She doesnt even know, (obviously, her head is down ) and my old man walks in, looks at me, smiles, gives me a thumbs up, and closes the door...

    ****in funny as shit...
    Your dad is cool!

  20. #20
    CSAR's Avatar
    CSAR is offline AR's Cunning Linguist
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    In a bowl of rice
    Posts
    5,218
    Once I was on a bus going to a concert. There was a young guy and his girlfriend sitting across from me. I was hungover and hadn't shaved or showered for days. The girl complained about being cold or something and her boyfriend got out a blanket to keep her warm. Pretty soon, she gets under the blanket and I couldn't believe my luck. Her head started bobbing up and down like a jackhammer! I tried not to watch, but it was like a live porno!! You can't tell me you wouldn't watch! Anyhow, I started rubbing one out when the kid's eyes locked on mine. His dick sank like the Titanic, but I was stiffer than a cadaver. I blew my load all over the bus window. IT WAS SPOOGETASTIC!!!!


















    Quote Originally Posted by Amorphic View Post
    i got a blowjob on a bus on the way to a concert i was going to see. girl had her head under a blanket and i was rolling with it. i looked over and across on the other side of the bus this greasy looking 40 something year old was locked on me.

    my dink sank like the titanic, it was awful

  21. #21
    Schmidty's Avatar
    Schmidty is offline Test Is Best!
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    6,899
    My mom has walked in on me atleast 10times w quite a few dif girls back in high school. one time she yelled at me while i was pulln my pants up and she calls me a whore and god doesnt approve n then tells the chick that her house isnt a brothel LMFAO a brothel. She even me one of my x gfs by walking in my room to find me hitting my x from behind LOL

  22. #22
    Schmidty's Avatar
    Schmidty is offline Test Is Best!
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    6,899
    Quote Originally Posted by CSAR View Post
    Once I was on a bus going to a concert. There was a young guy and his girlfriend sitting across from me. I was hungover and hadn't shaved or showered for days. The girl complained about being cold or something and her boyfriend got out a blanket to keep her warm. Pretty soon, she gets under the blanket and I couldn't believe my luck. Her head started bobbing up and down like a jackhammer! I tried not to watch, but it was like a live porno!! You can't tell me you wouldn't watch! Anyhow, I started rubbing one out when the kid's eyes locked on mine. His dick sank like the Titanic, but I was stiffer than a cadaver. I blew my load all over the bus window. IT WAS SPOOGETASTIC!!!!

  23. #23
    Chode Logan's Avatar
    Chode Logan is offline AR's Ravishing Maestro of Anabolic Tastyness
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Rain City, BC
    Posts
    12,187
    Quote Originally Posted by CSAR View Post
    Once I was on a bus going to a concert. There was a young guy and his girlfriend sitting across from me. I was hungover and hadn't shaved or showered for days. The girl complained about being cold or something and her boyfriend got out a blanket to keep her warm. Pretty soon, she gets under the blanket and I couldn't believe my luck. Her head started bobbing up and down like a jackhammer! I tried not to watch, but it was like a live porno!! You can't tell me you wouldn't watch! Anyhow, I started rubbing one out when the kid's eyes locked on mine. His dick sank like the Titanic, but I was stiffer than a cadaver. I blew my load all over the bus window. IT WAS SPOOGETASTIC!!!!
    Hahah classic.

  24. #24
    Older lifter is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Living easy in Asia
    Posts
    2,243
    Quote Originally Posted by CSAR View Post
    Once I was on a bus going to a concert. There was a young guy and his girlfriend sitting across from me. I was hungover and hadn't shaved or showered for days. The girl complained about being cold or something and her boyfriend got out a blanket to keep her warm. Pretty soon, she gets under the blanket and I couldn't believe my luck. Her head started bobbing up and down like a jackhammer! I tried not to watch, but it was like a live porno!! You can't tell me you wouldn't watch! Anyhow, I started rubbing one out when the kid's eyes locked on mine. His dick sank like the Titanic, but I was stiffer than a cadaver. I blew my load all over the bus window. IT WAS SPOOGETASTIC!!!!
    WELL DONE,,, I see J-land has not taken away your sence of humor....lmfao

  25. #25
    gst528i's Avatar
    gst528i is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,541
    Quote Originally Posted by Schmidty View Post
    My mom has walked in on me atleast 10times w quite a few dif girls back in high school. one time she yelled at me while i was pulln my pants up and she calls me a whore and god doesnt approve n then tells the chick that her house isnt a brothel LMFAO a brothel. She even me one of my x gfs by walking in my room to find me hitting my x from behind LOL
    HOLLY FKIN SHYT. YOU AND I HAVE THE SAME MOM....LOL

    I BROUGHT THIS GIRL HOME BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. BEAUTIFUL GURL I WAS TRYING TO GET WITH FOR WEEKS.
    I GET HER HOME, AND AS IM WALKING UP THE STAIRS MUM COMES OUT OF HER ROOM AND YELLS AT ME.
    SHE LIKE DAYM IT THIS IS NOT A WHORE HOUSE. HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THIS HOUSE.

    then she goes back to her room. Anyway the girl asks " so how many girls do youbring home?

    lol

  26. #26
    Odpierdol_sie!'s Avatar
    Odpierdol_sie! is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,368
    When i was 13 i was pulling myself around my bedroom and tensed to blast out a fart and shat myself.

  27. #27
    FREAK's Avatar
    FREAK is offline BLACK MARKET BUILT
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    right here
    Posts
    12,944
    i walked in on my wife a few weeks ago i was out doing yard work i come quietly walk in my bedroom and bagged her with the old silver bullet in her pants

  28. #28
    FREAK's Avatar
    FREAK is offline BLACK MARKET BUILT
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    right here
    Posts
    12,944
    so then i pulled out my **** and blasted one on her

  29. #29
    Kale is offline ~ Vet~ I like Thai Girls
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Asia
    Posts
    12,286
    I saw my son when I was walking past his bedroom when he was 14 rubbing one out watching some porn on his PC. He was spanking it at about 160 strokes a second. I felt like walking in there and saying "Dude you need to savor that shit" !!!!!

  30. #30
    smokeyd's Avatar
    smokeyd is offline Grade A Whore/Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    EATIN BEEFS
    Posts
    10,417
    Quote Originally Posted by Kale View Post
    I saw my son when I was walking past his bedroom when he was 14 rubbing one out watching some porn on his PC. He was spanking it at about 160 strokes a second. I felt like walking in there and saying "Dude you need to savor that shit" !!!!!


    hahahaha thats great

  31. #31
    Dukkit's Avatar
    Dukkit is offline Vitamin Enhanced Sociopathic Post Whore
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    ON THE SHORT BUS.
    Posts
    63,609
    of all the crazy sexual experiences ive partook in. i have never been caught off guard, surprised, interrupted or anything.

    hmm. kinda boring.

  32. #32
    calgarian's Avatar
    calgarian is offline ANALbolically inclined "Protein user"
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Tim 'er and Rim 'er
    Posts
    31,125
    Quote Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw View Post
    of all the crazy sexual experiences ive partook in. i have never been caught off guard, surprised, interrupted or anything.

    hmm. kinda boring.
    didnt ur GF almost caught u in the shower with another women when she stopped by during lunch time?

  33. #33
    Dukkit's Avatar
    Dukkit is offline Vitamin Enhanced Sociopathic Post Whore
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    ON THE SHORT BUS.
    Posts
    63,609
    Quote Originally Posted by calgarian View Post
    didnt ur GF almost caught u in the shower with another women when she stopped by during lunch time?
    yea. but that was almost.. i didnt get caught. lol.

    so it doesnt count. plus i wasnt worried. even if she did catch me. i would of charmed my way out of it.

    i always do

  34. #34
    calgarian's Avatar
    calgarian is offline ANALbolically inclined "Protein user"
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Tim 'er and Rim 'er
    Posts
    31,125
    Quote Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw View Post
    yea. but that was almost.. i didnt get caught. lol.

    so it doesnt count. plus i wasnt worried. even if she did catch me. i would of charmed my way out of it.

    i always do
    Hmmm wnder where u got this one. I dont have that quality and I am sure ur mother doesnt either.....

  35. #35
    xavier_888888's Avatar
    xavier_888888 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,150
    hahaha I just remembered my buddy's story . He was yanking it then mom opens the door. quietly he said "well....... at least i'm not using drugs." mom closes the door. LMAO!!

  36. #36
    Dukkit's Avatar
    Dukkit is offline Vitamin Enhanced Sociopathic Post Whore
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    ON THE SHORT BUS.
    Posts
    63,609
    my one ex and i were on a walking path along the river in harrisburg, PA. we were in the grass behind a park bench. it was 1 in the morning. we were fukkin and as we were doin so, some homeless guy on a bicycle rode by. stopped. got off and sat on the bench as we were behind it. he heard us. turned around.. saw us and just stared.. i started crackin up laughing and kept going. i asked if he could go down the street to the next bench. he was all like.. uh uh uh uh yea. sorry. LOL
    but that was not embarrassing. i thought it was hilarious.

    thats the closest ive come to anything like that.

  37. #37
    Kratos's Avatar
    Kratos is offline I feel accomplished
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    34,255
    My roommate in boarding school would put his mattress on the floor and I slept on the top bunk. Thought he was sleeping, didn't think he could see me either. I guess the fire alarm has a little led on it that casts a little light. I was being quiet. He said "Roommate! stop masturbating."

    No alone time in the room in boarding school, it was a horrible enviroment for wacking. People got caught all the time. This one kid's door, you could push it real hard and it would open even when locked. He liked to wack str8 into the trash can. He got caught like 5 or more times.

  38. #38
    Amorphic's Avatar
    Amorphic is offline Veritas, Aequitas ~
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Canada - No source checks
    Posts
    16,146
    Quote Originally Posted by CSAR View Post
    Once I was on a bus going to a concert. There was a young guy and his girlfriend sitting across from me. I was hungover and hadn't shaved or showered for days. The girl complained about being cold or something and her boyfriend got out a blanket to keep her warm. Pretty soon, she gets under the blanket and I couldn't believe my luck. Her head started bobbing up and down like a jackhammer! I tried not to watch, but it was like a live porno!! You can't tell me you wouldn't watch! Anyhow, I started rubbing one out when the kid's eyes locked on mine. His dick sank like the Titanic, but I was stiffer than a cadaver. I blew my load all over the bus window. IT WAS SPOOGETASTIC!!!!

  39. #39
    xavier_888888's Avatar
    xavier_888888 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,150
    Quote Originally Posted by CSAR View Post
    Once I was on a bus going to a concert. There was a young guy and his girlfriend sitting across from me. I was hungover and hadn't shaved or showered for days. The girl complained about being cold or something and her boyfriend got out a blanket to keep her warm. Pretty soon, she gets under the blanket and I couldn't believe my luck. Her head started bobbing up and down like a jackhammer! I tried not to watch, but it was like a live porno!! You can't tell me you wouldn't watch! Anyhow, I started rubbing one out when the kid's eyes locked on mine. His dick sank like the Titanic, but I was stiffer than a cadaver. I blew my load all over the bus window. IT WAS SPOOGETASTIC!!!!


    You need help bro! LMAO

  40. #40
    lcstriker07's Avatar
    lcstriker07 is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    245
    Awesome thread! When I was younger me and my girl were in the back of her father's benz and she wouldn't swallow at the time so I blew a huge one in her dad's freshly dry cleaned blazer. No idea what happened but I think about it everytime I see a business man in a mercedes.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •