Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Dont try this

  1. #1
    pecable is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    17

    Dont try this

    DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME! OR AT THE GYM! OR ANYWHERE!!!


    1. Dumbell Hair Combs - Start by holding a dumbell in front of
    you. Do a front raise with it then whip the dumbell back and
    over the top of your head like you're combing your hair with
    it. Make sure to just miss your skull.

    2. Hog-tied Face-Rubs - Lie on your stomach on the floor. Grasp
    your ankles behind your back and rub your face back and forth
    on the ground repeatedly. Continue until you've had enough.

    3. Abdominal Earthquakes - Lie on the floor on your back in the
    classic start position of a crunch. Now yank as hard as you
    can on the back of your head up and down and thrash your legs
    around in the air like you're fending off starving dogs. This
    evidently works your abs. You will resemble Jello that has
    just been dropped on the floor. Your face should be as red as
    a tomato by the time you're done.

    4. The Arm Wrecker - Do one cheating, momentum-filled rep of an
    arm exercise with ridiculously heavy weight then swing your
    arms around as fast as you can in a circle to get blood to the
    muscle. This technique will either help your arm grow or will
    smack the person waiting to use the machine/weights next.

    5. Pelvic Demolisher - Stand with your fingers interlocked behind
    your head. Do a pelvic thrust forward and drop your spinal
    column down and backwards about 6 inches. This exercise is
    best done in front of a large group of people.

    6. Dumbell Doggy Digs - Bend over at the waist so that your back
    is rounded completely over like an arch. Your legs should be
    completely straight and locked out. You should look like you
    are trying hard to touch your toes but not really succeeding.
    Hold two dumbells down at arms-length. Now spin them round
    and round repeatedly just off the floor so that you resemble a
    dog digging a hole.

    7. Pec Rockets - Set the pec deck machine with far too much
    weight for you to handle safely. Make sure you are very
    sweaty and slippery before attempting this one. First, use
    your entire bodyweight to get one arm pad up to the front.
    Then, throw yourself at the other one to get it to the front.
    Hold them there for a half-second then get shot four feet out
    across the floor as you squirt from the machine like a greased
    banana.

    8. Rush-Hour Bench Press - This exercise is done on the vertical
    seated chest press machine that has a foot pedal to help raise
    the weight to the starting position. Use this pedal at the
    bottom of every single rep to bounce the weight back up. Your
    footwork will resemble that of someone in rush-hour traffic
    going from 0 to 60 to 0 every 3 seconds.

    9. Close-Grip, Behind-The-Neck Shoulder Press - Sit in a shoulder
    press station, gripping the bar overhead with about 6 inches
    between your hands. Bring the bar down directly behind your
    head. Be sure to lean forward 45 degrees and round your back
    over so that your shoulder joints and lower back each get
    their fair share of trauma.

    10. C.P.R. Bench Press - Start by loading your safe maximum bench
    press weight onto the bar. Now add 20 more pounds just to be
    safer. Have your spotter lift the bar off the rack for you.
    Lower it 2 inches on your own power then allow it to drop and
    cave in your rib cage. Be sure your spotter is a strong
    deadlifter before attempting this exercise as you will need
    them to pull the bar off you at the bottom of every rep. When
    your spotter has pulled the bar off you after the first rep
    and is trying to put it back on the racks, yell out "I've got
    six more reps!"

  2. #2
    MBaraso's Avatar
    MBaraso is offline Retired Mod
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    7,630
    good shit bro

  3. #3
    Jenseno9's Avatar
    Jenseno9 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    922
    HAHAHAHA damn funny...actually laughed outload

  4. #4
    Warrior's Avatar
    Warrior is offline AR-Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    6'0"/248lbs
    Posts
    6,983
    LMAO!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,506

    Re: Dont try this

    Originally posted by pecable

    10. C.P.R. Bench Press - Start by loading your safe maximum bench
    press weight onto the bar. Now add 20 more pounds just to be
    safer. Have your spotter lift the bar off the rack for you.
    Lower it 2 inches on your own power then allow it to drop and
    cave in your rib cage.
    Ouch dammit!

    Reminds me of that kid at the gym the other day, he was bouncing that bar off his chest so hard I thought he was gonna cave in his ribcage!


    Red

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •