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  1. #82841
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    Quote Originally Posted by gearbox View Post
    Take it easy on dating the strippers bro
    haha. Yeah I'm done with all that.

    hi gearbox!!
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    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel

  2. #82842
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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    haha. Yeah I'm done with all that.

    hi gearbox!!
    Hey aust. I can venture a guess and say life is going much better for you now.
    Are you car shopping again since you got rid of your baby?

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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    It;s not the test they're smelling. It's all the trash in Galveston...
    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    Stinky
    or i could just be the shyt!

  4. #82844
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    Quote Originally Posted by gearbox View Post
    Hey aust. I can venture a guess and say life is going much better for you now.
    Are you car shopping again since you got rid of your baby?
    Thanks brother. Life is good in the "Less Stress" sense. Yes. But I still have some major issues to deal with. I don't think I'll be buying a car soon, I have another one that I'm hanging on to.
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  5. #82845
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    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    Thanks brother. Life is good in the "Less Stress" sense. Yes. But I still have some major issues to deal with. I don't think I'll be buying a car soon, I have another one that I'm hanging on to.
    Glad you recognize the issues that need to be fixed
    Aww no car shopping. Only kind of "shopping" I like

  6. #82846
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  7. #82847
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    Quote Originally Posted by gearbox View Post
    Glad you recognize the issues that need to be fixed
    Aww no car shopping. Only kind of "shopping" I like
    lol, yeah I love car shopping. I had to weigh the pros and cons of each car. One is a gas guzzler, the other one is almost twice the car payment. So I got rid of the car payment. Even though I favored that car.
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    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel

  8. #82848
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    Vrooooooooooooooooooooooom

    Vrooooooooooooooooooooooooom

  9. #82849
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    Looking great Dukk! Nice lawn, too.
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    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel

  10. #82850
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    You wanna trim my bushes big boy?

    hahaha

  11. #82851
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    You wanna trim my bushes big boy?

    hahaha
    Can I ride bitch?
    Realist: A person who sees things as they truly are. A practical person. The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails. — William Arthur Ward

  12. #82852
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    Looks like DSM made you an offer, so I'm out...

    thank god.
    ~ PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR SOURCE CHECKS ~

    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel

  13. #82853
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    Realist: A person who sees things as they truly are. A practical person. The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails. — William Arthur Ward

  14. #82854
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    Sitting in chair finishing up sleeve

    Hell yeah!!!!!!

  15. #82855
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    Quote Originally Posted by DSM4Life View Post
    Can I ride bitch?
    More the merrier!
    Quote Originally Posted by austinite View Post
    Looks like DSM made you an offer, so I'm out...

    thank god.
    No way. Youre staying.

  16. #82856
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    Quote Originally Posted by AXx View Post
    Sitting in chair finishing up sleeve

    Hell yeah!!!!!!
    Awesome!

    Dont cry.

  17. #82857
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit

    Awesome!

    Dont cry.
    I didn't

    We did the last outline last night and finished the shading and more today!!!

    Little sore from yesterday, LOL

  18. #82858
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    Ya Saturday night was a good night. Made 60 $ shooting pool and a hott bartender asked me out.

  19. #82859
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    I can't remember if I took my DBOL today.. Better safe then sorry. Better go take it again.

  20. #82860
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    Rode to work today.

    Brrrr

  21. #82861
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    Rode to work today.

    Brrrr
    On one wheel or two?

  22. #82862
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcus300 View Post
    On one wheel or two?
    Haha. Def 2. Dont need anymore tickets!!

  23. #82863
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  24. #82864
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    I just got my bike out the shop:

    Dukkit likes this.
    Realist: A person who sees things as they truly are. A practical person. The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails. — William Arthur Ward

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    austinite likes this.

  26. #82866
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    Ender

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    Dukkit

  28. #82868
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    Remember this one?

    Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...

    Anyway...
    If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

    Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a sh!t really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.





















    I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??











    So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!








    So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

    As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.










    I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:







    I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....








    At that point things get even worse...





    The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

    I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

    she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

    At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

    she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

    I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

    At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

    I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

    she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

    I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

    She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

    about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.










    All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad).

    to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

    This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.




    anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?
    bikeral likes this.

  29. #82869
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    Best thread in ever but it needs the pictures.
    Realist: A person who sees things as they truly are. A practical person. The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails. — William Arthur Ward

  30. #82870
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    Quote Originally Posted by DSM4Life View Post
    Best thread in ever but it needs the pictures.
    that one is def one of the best!

  31. #82871
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    morning dukk, ender

    standing in weddings gets expensive!

    i do not feel like working today

  32. #82872
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    I never saw that thread.

    Awesome.

  33. #82873
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    I never saw that thread.

    Awesome.
    like DSM said, the pics make it that much better!

  34. #82874
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    My Nana is in the hospital, they discovered a large brain tumor.

    Waiting on more tests to see what options there are.

  35. #82875
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    My Nana is in the hospital, they discovered a large brain tumor.

    Waiting on more tests to see what options there are.
    Yikes, thats sucks.

    I hope the tests come back favorable Dukkit.

  36. #82876
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    Quote Originally Posted by 00ragincajun00 View Post

    that one is def one of the best!
    lol that made me cry laughing....who was that by?

    -Release the Kracken!!!-

  37. #82877
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    My Nana is in the hospital, they discovered a large brain tumor.

    Waiting on more tests to see what options there are.
    fvck that sucks man....hope things turn out good

    -Release the Kracken!!!-

  38. #82878
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    My Nana is in the hospital, they discovered a large brain tumor.

    Waiting on more tests to see what options there are.
    damn! i will say a prayer my friend!

  39. #82879
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dukkit View Post
    My Nana is in the hospital, they discovered a large brain tumor.

    Waiting on more tests to see what options there are.
    Very sorry to hear that man. I wish her the best.

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    Last edited by -Ender-; 05-14-2013 at 09:15 AM.

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