I almost cut my dick off...

**stack_it** · 07-21-2010, 08:44 PM

So I had a bit of a scare today. A friend of mine has a landscaping business and from time to time I'll help him on the some of the jobs. Today was supposed to be a simple day. Trim and shrubs, cut off some tree limbs to get em away from the house, and haul away the mess. Well we get done with the first job with no problem besides the heat and halfway through the second job I'm up on the ladder cutting off an 8" round maybe 20' limb. No big deal, I cut it while he pulls it away and it hits the ground. This time tho when he is pulling it the limb twist and gets caught on another limb on the ground causing it to fall back on me and slam the full throttle chainsaw into my leg and crotch.

Luckilly I was able to let off the throttle immediately and it just scraped my leg, but it had ripped through my pants and grabbed my dick. There's a few blood blisters and a couple cuts on my dick now but it's still in one piece. Scared the shit out of the both of us tho.

We were being as safe as you can be on a ladder with a chainsaw and this happened so fast there's nothing I could have done to dodge it other than my instinct to let go of the throttle. Could have been a lot worse and I got unluckily lucky.

**Knockout_Power** · 07-21-2010, 08:47 PM

thank god it worked out in the best possible way... or else you'd be gettign laid even less than me and thats hard to believe

**gixxerboy1** · 07-21-2010, 08:50 PM

damn, I would wear a cup every day now

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 08:51 PM

that is insane!!!! getting laid less then KP that is... lol im just kiddig love ya KP but honesly i dotn think i could hold a chainsaw again. good to hear it worked out for the best for you man

**vanduhl** · 07-21-2010, 08:52 PM

BME Pain Olympics

**Times Roman** · 07-21-2010, 08:52 PM

ok, my brother... let me ask you this hypothetical question.
Say you DID get your pride cut off, and the doc was NOT able to reattach. How would that change your life? Would you still lift? I mean, what's the point of having a great bod that attracts attention, if you can't do anything with it once you get the attention you crave?

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

ok, my brother... let me ask you this hypothetical question.
Say you DID get your pride cut off, and the doc was NOT able to reattach. How would that change your life? Would you still lift? I mean, what's the point of having a great bod that attracts attention, if you can't do anything with it once you get the attention you crave?

he would have to make up for his loss of manhood by gaining mad muscle. evens it self out in some kind of way. i dont think id live to tell you if it happened to me tho

**Knockout_Power** · 07-21-2010, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by Standby

he would have to make up for his loss of manhood by gaining mad muscle. evens it self out in some kind of way. i dont think id live to tell you if it happened to me tho

just tell the girls your asian

**JinNtonic** · 07-21-2010, 09:00 PM

wow....

**Times Roman** · 07-21-2010, 09:01 PM

I dont' know. I think if I cut my dick off, I mean, sex is a basic motivator. So what the fuk am I supposed to do now? Although I've heard guys that are parapalecic (sp?), that can't feel from the waist down (including their pride), I've heard their nipples get extra sensitive and they can sometimes get the equivalent of an orgasm by having their nipples played with. Anyone hear this?
but other than that, I think I'd become a vulcan and buy me some pointy ears and become a pusssy asss treckie or something!?

**Knockout_Power** · 07-21-2010, 09:01 PM

agreed.. why are we still talking about this?

**Knockout_Power** · 07-21-2010, 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

I dont' know. I think if I cut my dick off, I mean, sex is a basic motivator. So what the fuk am I supposed to do now? Although I've heard guys that are parapalecic (sp?), that can't feel from the waist down (including their pride), I've heard their nipples get extra sensitive and they can sometimes get the equivalent of an orgasm by having their nipples played with. Anyone hear this?
but other than that, I think I'd become a vulcan and buy me some pointy ears and become a ***** asss treckie or something!?

some of us work out so we look sexier to ourselves when we are looking in the mirror

pretending women want us...

did I just say that out loud

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 09:04 PM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

some of us work out so we look sexier to ourselves when we are looking in the mirror

pretending women want us...

did I just say that out loud

step one buddy, im proud

**Knockout_Power** · 07-21-2010, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by Standby

step one buddy, im proud

I warned everyone when I got on here that I have no filter between my brain and my mouth... and even less when Im typing something

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 09:10 PM

lol its sometimes a good thing not to have a filter, id find you amusing lol id expect alot of funny sh*t to be said to ppl lol

**Knockout_Power** · 07-21-2010, 09:11 PM

Originally Posted by Standby

lol its sometimes a good thing not to have a filter, id find you amusing lol id expect alot of funny sh*t to be said to ppl lol

yah, so far bert and cal know what Im like... I'll meet and offend most of the regular board members here eventually

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

yah, so far bert and cal know what Im like... I'll meet and offend most of the regular board members here eventually

good, i pretty much say what i want all the time too. me and my buddy always say "dont sugar coat nothing" it best to tell it how it is

but when it comes to that big scary lookin mafvcka in your avi i think ill add alitte sugar haha ya damn beast

**stack_it** · 07-21-2010, 09:18 PM

I had a cup of ice and powerade and had already planned to transport my detached dick in that before I even pulled it out to see how bad it was lol. I've joke about having a couple inches to spare but I guess i should have knocked on wood lol.

We gave the neighbors a show tho. I was on the top of a 20' ladder with my dick out while my buddy is yelling how bad is it from the ground lol.

I really could not even imagine losing it tho. I would fall in a deep depression and get max everytime I had to sit down and pee lol.

Btw, I finished the job. Mauled dick and all. We were going to go the hospital but I decided to wait it out a little while and it seems like the cuts didn't hurt anything major.

**stack_it** · 07-21-2010, 09:19 PM

Originally Posted by Standby

good, i pretty much say what i want all the time too. me and my buddy always say "dont sugar coat nothing" it best to tell it how it is

What about candy apples?

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 09:20 PM

dont take risks with your rascal stack it lol should have got it looked at and healed up asap gotta be using it again soon lol

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by stack_it

What about candy apples?

cant eat candy apples!!

**stack_it** · 07-21-2010, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

some of us work out so we look sexier to ourselves when we are looking in the mirror

pretending women want us...

did I just say that out loud

Just have cal throw you a girl or two.... Or a girl the size of two.

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by stack_it

Just have cal throw you a girl or two.... Or a girl the size of two.

might even be able to get one the size of 3 if you can pry her from him

**stack_it** · 07-21-2010, 09:23 PM

Originally Posted by Standby

dont take risks with your rascal stack it lol should have got it looked at and healed up asap gotta be using it again soon lol

Lol the girlfriend gets back from vacation tomorrow night and I haven't told her yet. It's all black and blue and will be scabbed by tomorrow. I'm gonna tell her I sat on the toilet at the strip club Monday night and it looked like that when I woke up the next day lol.

She may rip it off or stab me before I can tell her the truth tho lol.

**stack_it** · 07-21-2010, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by Standby

might even be able to get one the size of 3 if you can pry her from him

You can't expect a man to give up his favorite lol.

**Older lifter** · 07-21-2010, 09:49 PM

Sh*t,,,, made me cringe just reading that

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by stack_it

Lol the girlfriend gets back from vacation tomorrow night and I haven't told her yet. It's all black and blue and will be scabbed by tomorrow. I'm gonna tell her I sat on the toilet at the strip club Monday night and it looked like that when I woke up the next day lol.

She may rip it off or stab me before I can tell her the truth tho lol.

plz do that, or dont tell her and wait for her to go for it and then give the strip club story so its all a awesome surprise lol

**stack_it** · 07-21-2010, 10:08 PM

Originally Posted by Standby

plz do that, or dont tell her and wait for her to go for it and then give the strip club story so its all a awesome surprise lol

Ok but if she rips it off you're giving me yours lol.

**Skyler** · 07-21-2010, 10:22 PM

Oh my God.... This is the scariest thing I have ever read... My heart hurts.... and my penis shrunk.... I need to find my penis....

**Standby** · 07-21-2010, 10:23 PM

you dont want mine lol it takes a special kind of person to be able to control it.

**cherrydrpepper** · 07-22-2010, 12:57 AM

Originally Posted by stack_it

So I had a bit of a scare today. A friend of mine has a landscaping business and from time to time I'll help him on the some of the jobs. Today was supposed to be a simple day. Trim and shrubs, cut off some tree limbs to get em away from the house, and haul away the mess. Well we get done with the first job with no problem besides the heat and halfway through the second job I'm up on the ladder cutting off an 8" round maybe 20' limb. No big deal, I cut it while he pulls it away and it hits the ground. This time tho when he is pulling it the limb twist and gets caught on another limb on the ground causing it to fall back on me and slam the full throttle chainsaw into my leg and crotch.

Luckilly I was able to let off the throttle immediately and it just scraped my leg, but it had ripped through my pants and grabbed my dick. There's a few blood blisters and a couple cuts on my dick now but it's still in one piece. Scared the shit out of the both of us tho.

We were being as safe as you can be on a ladder with a chainsaw and this happened so fast there's nothing I could have done to dodge it other than my instinct to let go of the throttle. Could have been a lot worse and I got unluckily lucky.

Do you always make up page long stories to explain your stds to a girl

lol

just bustin your balls

**DSM4Life** · 07-22-2010, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by stack_it

So I had a bit of a scare today. A friend of mine has a landscaping business and from time to time I'll help him on the some of the jobs. Today was supposed to be a simple day. Trim and shrubs, cut off some tree limbs to get em away from the house, and haul away the mess. Well we get done with the first job with no problem besides the heat and halfway through the second job I'm up on the ladder cutting off an 8" round maybe 20' limb. No big deal, I cut it while he pulls it away and it hits the ground. This time tho when he is pulling it the limb twist and gets caught on another limb on the ground causing it to fall back on me and slam the full throttle chainsaw into my leg and crotch.

Luckilly I was able to let off the throttle immediately and it just scraped my leg, but it had ripped through my pants and grabbed my dick. There's a few blood blisters and a couple cuts on my dick now but it's still in one piece. Scared the shit out of the both of us tho.

We were being as safe as you can be on a ladder with a chainsaw and this happened so fast there's nothing I could have done to dodge it other than my instinct to let go of the throttle. Could have been a lot worse and I got unluckily lucky.

Need me to kiss it and make it all better ?

**stack_it** · 07-22-2010, 04:41 AM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Need me to kiss it and make it all better ?

I thought you'd never ask

**MaNiCC** · 07-22-2010, 05:12 AM

I'd get it checked out brother, you dont take risks with your rhythm stick

**Igifuno** · 07-22-2010, 05:53 AM

You wouldve bee nupjunk... Glad you're okay bro. Way too close

**HitIt** · 07-22-2010, 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by stack_it

So I had a bit of a scare today. A friend of mine has a landscaping business and from time to time I'll help him on the some of the jobs. Today was supposed to be a simple day. Trim and shrubs, cut off some tree limbs to get em away from the house, and haul away the mess. Well we get done with the first job with no problem besides the heat and halfway through the second job I'm up on the ladder cutting off an 8" round maybe 20' limb. No big deal, I cut it while he pulls it away and it hits the ground. This time tho when he is pulling it the limb twist and gets caught on another limb on the ground causing it to fall back on me and slam the full throttle chainsaw into my leg and crotch.

Luckilly I was able to let off the throttle immediately and it just scraped my leg, but it had ripped through my pants and grabbed my dick. There's a few blood blisters and a couple cuts on my dick now but it's still in one piece. Scared the shit out of the both of us tho.

We were being as safe as you can be on a ladder with a chainsaw and this happened so fast there's nothing I could have done to dodge it other than my instinct to let go of the throttle. Could have been a lot worse and I got unluckily lucky.

congrats on still having your dork!

**AlphaGenetics** · 07-22-2010, 06:34 AM

Hasnt your boss ever heard of chaps???!!!!! Holy shit your lucky bro. You have no idea. I worked in the woods as a logger for many years and I cant tell you how many times chaps saved mine and others lives. Your boss needs to take care of his employees a little better for fks sake.