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Thread: Any good jokes?

  1. 11-12-2010, 01:37 PM #1
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    Any good jokes?

    I know this thread has been done many times but it's always nice to have a good laugh.

    I'll start,

    If women weren't supposed to cook, why do they have milk and eggs in them?
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  2. 11-12-2010, 01:47 PM #2
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    Why does a dog lick its balls....because he can.
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  3. 11-12-2010, 01:51 PM #3
    olderfella
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    An old women goes to the doctors complaining of a strange discharge,the doctor says take off your pants and jump up on the examination table and i will take a look,The doctor inserts 2 fingers in the old lady,s ***** and says is that ok mrs smith?
    The old lady replies "thats fxcking champion son but the discharge is from my ear"
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  4. 11-12-2010, 02:44 PM #4
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    I was on a crowded bus the other day, and a very young lady asks me if she can have my seat... she's pregnant and kinda tired. So naturally, I oblige and give her the seat. So I ask her how long she's been pregnent, and she say's... "oh, about 20 minutes!"
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  5. 11-12-2010, 02:49 PM #5
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    A man walks into McDonalds to order some food, a fat cashier serves him and he asks for a Big McMeal. 25 minutes later she returns and says:

    "Sorry about the wait"

    To which he replies:

    "Hey, don't worry...im sure you'll shed the pounds in no time"
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  6. 11-12-2010, 04:30 PM #6
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    Why can't girls play hockey?

    They have to change their pads after each period.
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  7. 11-12-2010, 04:33 PM #7
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    Here's a good joke:

    Women's rights.

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  8. 11-12-2010, 05:46 PM #8
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    My friend was hit by a drunk driver while on his Harley and ended up losing both his legs in the accident. He took the drunk driver to court but the judge threw the case out saying he didn't have a leg to stand on....
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  9. 11-12-2010, 06:58 PM #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReX357 View Post
    Here's a good joke:

    Women's rights.

    I don't get it.
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  10. 11-12-2010, 06:59 PM #10
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    Anyone want to hear the leprechaun joke?
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  11. 11-12-2010, 07:31 PM #11
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    A woman is like a skillet....no matter how much meat you put in it, you still have room for the gravy!....In my case ditto for a man.
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  12. 11-12-2010, 07:35 PM #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shol'va View Post
    A woman is like a skillet....no matter how much meat you put in it, you still have room for the gravy!....In my case ditto for a man.
    If I was any bigger, I'd be bangin her ovaries!
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  13. 11-12-2010, 07:39 PM #13
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    Why are a womans feet smaller than a mans? So they can stand closer to the sink and stove.
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  14. 11-12-2010, 07:44 PM #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shol'va View Post
    Why are a womans feet smaller than a mans? So they can stand closer to the sink and stove.
    sh1t mate, my pole touches long before my feet touch
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  15. 11-12-2010, 07:51 PM #15
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    Wow, are you from pole-and sounds like you may have a little polish in ya. I had a little pole-ish in me once.
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  16. 11-12-2010, 07:55 PM #16
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    Hey watch it there mate! I'm Irish but not too lucky!

    BTW... there are no drunks in Ireland, just GOOD DRINKERS!!!

    (bottoms up)
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  17. 11-12-2010, 07:58 PM #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Times Roman View Post
    Hey watch it there mate! I'm Irish but not too lucky!

    BTW... there are no drunks in Ireland, just GOOD DRINKERS!!!

    (bottoms up)
    Are you sure you want to go there? lol
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  18. 05-04-2013, 11:39 PM #18
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    Joke For The Night

    A sargeant tells his men to jump into the foxhole and don't come out for any reason. All goes well for about an hour when all of a sudden one of his men jumps out of the fox hole and takes off running. After the sargeant catches up with him he ask him....Soldier, rockets were flying over your head and you did not move. A machine gun shot crap into your face and you still didn't move...Soldier, what made you move? The soldier replies, well sir everything was fine till a couple of squirrels ran up my pants leg and I over heard them say..should we crack them and eat them here or should we take them with us..
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  19. 05-04-2013, 11:55 PM #19
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    guy goes to the doctor with a problems. says to the dr, "listen doc, the past few days my dick has been getting more and more orange" doc replies, have you been doing anything different lately? patient answers "nope, nothing unusual, watching porn and eating cheetos"
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  20. 05-05-2013, 12:04 AM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by DCannon View Post
    I know this thread has been done many times but it's always nice to have a good laugh.

    I'll start,

    If women weren't supposed to cook, why do they have milk and eggs in them?
    Ive actually never heard that one. Love it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shol'va View Post
    Why are a womans feet smaller than a mans? So they can stand closer to the sink and stove.
    Got to love the classics.
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  21. 05-05-2013, 03:22 AM #21
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    Well I'm sorry guys. I just can't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die!!!
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  22. 05-05-2013, 04:04 AM #22
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    "It's human nature in a 'more is better' society full of a younger generation that expects instant gratification, then complain when they don't get it. The problem will get far worse before it gets better". ~ kelkel
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  23. 05-05-2013, 05:30 AM #23
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    Q: What takes up 12 parking spaces? A: 6 Women drivers.
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    Realist: A person who sees things as they truly are. A practical person. The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails. — William Arthur Ward
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  24. 05-05-2013, 06:30 AM #24
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    ..............................
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  25. 05-05-2013, 06:43 AM #25
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    Dad comes home earlier and see his son in front of mirror in dress and heels!

    Dad " OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, ARE YOU GAY?????"



    Son " NO, I AM PRINCESS!
    BG likes this.
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