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12-19-2010, 01:12 PM #1
Whats the best way to approach a sexy girl with an ipod on all the time at the gym?
So there is this girl at the gym i just joined and i have been trying to approach her for 2 weeks now!! im ****ing loosing my mind over her and its killing my work outs bc all im thinking about is when and how im going to catch her to say something. Im also on a cycle now which is ****ed up bc i usually get very very confident while on juice. I usually have no prob talking to girls, alot of people tell me im very confident person so i know i am but i completley losing it around her lol. Im also a good looking very athletic and build guy, im 25yrs old and i have pulled super sexy girls including cougars that looked and F**ed like porn stars lol.
This girl is i would say 22-24 yrs old, sexiest body i have ever seen. Her face is very preety but could be better lol. All she ever does is cadio for like 2 hrs. I have caught her looking at me here and there but when we pass each other she always looks away or looks the other way, which i dunno if she is shy or knows im trying to approch her she doesnt want me to. But seriously im getting this vibe from her as she gets super shy when i walk by and thats why she looks away. She is making it soo hard for me by looking away that i dont even know what to do about her any more.
So now that i totally made my self sound like a puusssyy and put my self out there, cant wait to see the respone. If you got good tricks, pls teach me!!!!!! i need that biitch in my bed lol.
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12-19-2010, 01:15 PM #2I thought I knew it all...WRONG!
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She has her Ipod on the whole time because she doesn't want to be approached. My sister and my wife both keep their headphones in at all times, even if they aren't listening to music, because they are serious about their gym time, and don't want people trying to talk to them or interrupt their workout.
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12-19-2010, 01:19 PM #3
Yeah i hear you, I was told that while back. But i have no other option but to do at the gym bc i dont know anything about her and where she hangs out.
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12-19-2010, 01:24 PM #5
Ehh I am going to agree with reply 1 and 2 unless she has checked you out. Did you catch her eyeing you or something like that?
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12-19-2010, 01:26 PM #6
If you have a pretty good idea of her schedule you might try to catch her on her way in, or preferably out of the gym - - - Invite her to join you for a post workout shake. Or hop on the machine next to her and try your luck there. But I agree with Skyler, don't interfere with her workout.
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12-19-2010, 01:26 PM #7I thought I knew it all...WRONG!
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Maybe wait until she is on her way out the gym, with her headphones out, and give her the simple nod, or the old "have a good one". If that happens a few times, she will get in the habit and get used to greeting you on the way in or out of the gym. From there, it is easier and more likely to actually start up a conversation with her at some point. During her work out though, I would say to give her room.
***Damn, lifeforce beat me to it***
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12-19-2010, 01:38 PM #8
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12-19-2010, 01:40 PM #9
Lifeforce and Skyler, not a bad idea. i was thinking about doing that but i didnt want to creep her out hahha bc i already might have by trying looking for the right moment to approach her
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12-19-2010, 01:44 PM #10
Walk up to her and tell her that you have been trying to think of a way to talk to her for weeks but can't. Tell her you have never been good at this but would love to get to know her. And apologize for interrupting her workout (you can either start or finish with this, personally I would finish with it just in case she turns you down). Keep a smile on the whole time. If she says no she says no... No big deal. However wave hi and bye every time after. She will tell her friends and talk about it for sure. You will be seen as a respectful guy = walls and boundaries lowered. It's also a boost to her self esteem.
Don't seem like you are hitting on her. You wanna come off a little shy, especially if you are physically intimidating.
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12-19-2010, 01:50 PM #11
this is good advice.. big guys are intimidating especially if you meet a girl in the gym.. so act nervous/shy to make you seem more down to earth, even if you are not..
Personally i do not hit on women at my gym because i don't want to shit where i eat.. i.e. make it akward every time i see them after.. same goes for work mates whenever i worked with hot chicks.
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12-19-2010, 01:52 PM #12
Machine your avy is so ****ing great hahaha
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12-19-2010, 01:53 PM #13
It's her time leave her alone. Either catch her on her way out or let it go.
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12-19-2010, 02:00 PM #14
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12-19-2010, 02:02 PM #15Banned
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12-19-2010, 02:03 PM #16Originally Posted by Twist;5464***
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12-19-2010, 02:08 PM #17
throw a dumbbell at her forehead
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12-19-2010, 02:09 PM #18
Couple things: sometimes girls look the other way to be coy because she likes you and just does not know what in the heck to say or do and wants for you to make the first move hence why she looks away. I know this sends mixed messages but we females are pros at this. When she looks away does she flip her hair? This is a concrete sign of interest. And if she is ever in a position in the gym where her feet could either point towards you or not? If they point towards you then this is another sign of interest.
I like the idea of LifeForce's suggesting to learn her pattern of coming/leaving the gym. This gives you the opportunity to say something. Possibly music related like how you are impressed with her focus and have never seen anything like it or you admit you've wondered what type of music keeps her going for so long..
I am surprised to here the advice of not interrupting her. I find this intriguing to say the least. I am trying to understand the logic behind this. I am not so sure I agree. Yes it could be awkward in front of others. And yes I understand manners and respect. I do. Believe me nothing is more attractive than a gentleman. A true gentleman. But there is also something very fascinating about a man who is interested in a woman and makes it real clear from the get go.Last edited by SlimmerMe; 12-19-2010 at 02:11 PM.
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12-19-2010, 02:11 PM #19
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12-19-2010, 02:15 PM #20
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12-19-2010, 02:18 PM #21
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12-19-2010, 02:22 PM #22
Very nice to see womans opinion, so would you think its better for me to come up and just tell her that i have been trying to say hi to her for 2 weeks now, but she makes me super shy? or just say you make me super shy when i walk by you and just had to come up and say hi? or i was thining get of a tredmill next to her and kind of make a joke like your a cardio machine bc she does cardio everyday for like 2 hrs.
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12-19-2010, 02:23 PM #23
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12-19-2010, 02:24 PM #24
Regardless of WHY she has the headphones on it doesn't actually matter. Even in the event she has them on to avoid people, shes still a woman and still
responds to same attractive features of a male no matter where she is or what shes doing.
Just understand that she will likely have her bitch shield turned on high so you must first disarm that bitch shield before she even throws it up. And this requires
an elaborate understanding of social dynamics. Any "approach" must be anchored to something other then her. Don't walk up and just say "hey" cause thats the
quickest way to spring her defenses. An attitude of indifference and bodylanguage that demonstrates disinterest will work in your favor. Don't face her squarely
keep your body tilted away from her like you're about to leave the second you approach.
Use a situational excuse that is grounded to something other then her. "Excuse me I found these keys on the machine you were just using (using your keys of course)"
Don't ask "are they yours", ask "do you have any idea who they might belong to or did you see anyone on that machine?" Open ended questions are always the best.
But it comes down to social skills and how calibrated you are. What I do involves doing 2 things simultaneously. You show her a clear sign that subtley conveys your mate value, while simultaneously demonstrating active disinterest.
There are a thousand way to do this, some quite manipulative, but in the end it doesn't matter, because even nice guys manipulate women. If you want to get into it the debate of morals, show me ANY approach between a guy and girl and I will show you manipulation. If you think your high and mighty and above that shit then
you are merely delusioned. All people do this on one level or another whether they realize it or not. Asking a girl "how you are doing" is manipulating because how many guys actually give a shit about a complete strangers wellbeing? You care cause you want to bone her, its manipulation no matter what.
Anyway, to recap. Start the interaction based on situational events, not personal ones. Demonstrate 1 trait that any woman would respond to. If you need help figuring out how to do this so its natural and nonboastful just ask. And right after you convey that trait you must dismiss her as a potential partner. This triggers
their self validation mode, all women do it, and men will too. But if you are an idiot about it, you will geniunely fvck it up. Don't say "me and you would never get along", say "we have too much in common and we'd fight all the time". Just as an example, it depends completely on how much you 2 have disclosed and where you are in the conversation. And its always gotta be grounded to the actual conversation at hand. Thats why its a skill that develops with experience, and a skill you
will likely mess up w/out that experience.
But women love to chase, they will tell you they don't, but they are just like cats. Dismiss them, convey high mate value, tease them, and DON'T SMILE unless they EARN IT. I see so many g/damn men within the 2 seconds they approach someone smiling like an idiot. You are already giving away your mate value by doing that. If someones appearance is enough to make you smile, noone will ever want to be with you. People need to feel like they earn what they get in life, so MAKE HER EARN YOU. It shows confidence and self esteem, grining like a pervert from ear to ear shows nervousness and kills attraction. In fact, the more serious you can appear, w/out coming off like an ass, the more tension you create on her side. That tension is precisely what turns into attraction. And everytime you laugh at something
in the conversation you murder that tension. If she actually says something interesting or funny, don't even give her a full smile, do a "semi-smile" which is just lifting
one side of your mouth into a partial grin. People are always decoding nonverbal behavoir and nonverbal behavior is always encoded better by woman.
This is why one guy can approach a girl asking her to blow him and get smacked, while another guy will get that blowjob. Bodylanguage is the difference.
I can go on and on about this type of stuff but I don't suggest freestyling. You can do that later after you've already screwed her. Its all about impression management in those initial few steps. So if you want to succeed, approach, disqualify her, convey high mate value in a subtle way, force her to qualify back,
reward her when she does THEN escalate the interaction. Also, conveying mate value often has to do with semantics. If your a music producer are you gonna
tell a woman your a "sound engineer" or an "electronic dance artist"? If you're into landscaping are you gonna say "I'm a landscaper" or "I work in architectural
turf management"? There always a better way to say the same thing which will create a different impression. This is how you subtley convey mate value in
conversation.
And for the people who say "be yourself" if yourself doesn't usually score with hot girls, then being yourself is destined to fvckin fatties. If you prefer to approach
the situation complimenting her, "hey I think your cute" she might not think of herself as cute, than assume you have no idea wtf you're talking about or it will just
remind her further of your stranger status. Its called self-verification, don't compliment people till you understand how they perceive themselves. A compliment to 1 girl does NOT mean the same thing to another. Which is why its wayy safer and more natural to approach it the way I laid out for you. Guys will argue with this shit,
I don't care, because what 90% of them are doing is actually worse.
Its also not dogma, and requires a good deal of social intelligence to temper it with. I see social retards taking this shit into the realworld and making fools of themself merely because they don't understand the underlying reasons of WHY these concepts are effective. And that incongruence is always bound to leak
through your nonverbals, which again is why practice always makes perfect. Just remember, shes just a girl, and you don't go validating women just because they
have a vagina between their legs. Thats NOT what causes attraction, tension does, and thats what you must create. The majority of attraction a woman feels for a man
is a result of her throwing up walls of resistance and having him overcome it. Call it a "test of genes", call it w/e, but the fact is women shit test and if you fail those tests
bye bye sex life. An example of a common shit test: "I'm not looking to date anyone", common response: "thats a shame I find you really interesting", which = shit test fail.
Shit test pass = "Why are you thinking about dating? Who said anything about that?"Last edited by Bojangles69; 12-19-2010 at 02:37 PM.
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12-19-2010, 02:24 PM #25
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12-19-2010, 02:26 PM #26
Does not have to be done in a disrespectful way. I also mentioned gentleman too. There are ways to talk to people and keep respect in the air.
I suppose with guys the initial contact with a girl is the one which scares him most. Because it seems that once this is done, then so much of that fear of being turned down goes away as does a lot of the respect.
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12-19-2010, 02:27 PM #27
I wear headphones to get in the zone, but that doesn't mean I want to be completely antisocial if a girl come up to speak to me. I usually wear them because it pumps me up, and it keeps me from hearing the dumb shit that the douchebags are saying around me.
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12-19-2010, 02:30 PM #28
Flop your dick over the waistband of your shorts just before you walk by her. Ipod or no Ipod, I guarantee she notices you.
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12-19-2010, 02:31 PM #29
DONT DO THIS!
You might aswell walk up and say "I'm a ***** and will do whatever you want me to"
Just be yourself and talk naturally. Why be fake? I don't care what people say women think shy is cute but in a let's be friends kind of way. They think confidence is hot in a I wanna ride you kind of way. You wanna be the shy friend that listens to her stories about fvckin confident guys or do you wanna be the guy the stories about?
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12-19-2010, 02:36 PM #30
I would not say you are shy right off the bat on purpose. Just be natural. Be yourself. Sooner than later if you end up going out with her, she will find out who you are anyway. So being yourself works every single time. Either someone likes you or they do not. Pretending to be someone you are not will backfire and a waste of time. And that being said, if you are shy then so be it. Some women love a shy guy. It can be endearing.
Last edited by SlimmerMe; 12-19-2010 at 02:38 PM.
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12-19-2010, 02:36 PM #31
I know it doesn't need to be done in a disrespectful way that's why he should wait til she's done working out or before she works out to be respectful. How would interrupting her cardio be respectful?
I myself have little fear of being turned down. Not saying I don't get turned down. I feel that not trying is just as bad as being turned down. Afterall it has the same outcome. I just feel like it wouldn't be hard to start a convo without messing with her cardio.
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12-19-2010, 02:40 PM #32
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12-19-2010, 02:41 PM #33
When she looks smile at her...if she smiles back you have broke the ice. You showed interest and she did too. So when she is done working out, speak to her.
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12-19-2010, 02:42 PM #34
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12-19-2010, 02:42 PM #35
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12-19-2010, 02:49 PM #36
Yeah I'm not really saying he shouldn't talk to her. He just needs to approach it correctly. I like your comment about smiling.
Nonverbals can say a lot. Eye contact and smiles may get her interested enough to put herself in an approachable position. Ie going to the waterfountain with headphones out or going out of her way to walk by machines your on.
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12-19-2010, 02:49 PM #37
99% of people will smile as a sign of being polite not a sign that they are attracted.
This definitely does not signal interest/attraction on any level. And even if she smiled out of attraction it still doesn't mean shes interested.
You're a complete stranger and you must earn her interest, same way she should earn yours.
Even if you're going in with an NSA state of mind its a great way to cause buyers remorse. People don't want things that are handed to them
on a silver platter, women are especially relevant to this rule.
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12-19-2010, 02:52 PM #39
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12-19-2010, 02:53 PM #40
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