Round 2... I am definitely digging a hole

**fukngruvn** · 03-30-2012, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by redz

Attachment 121507 Don`t know if this helps, but now I am thinking I am crazy.......This is my wife.

i think you complain too much

**gearbox** · 03-30-2012, 10:46 AM

op- there is a lot of good info on here. Like how johnny chooses to do certain things cause he knows his limits and weaknesses and does they to stay out of trouble cause he loves and respects his wife. That is a good definition of a MAN and not a boy. You are married deal with it. Your wife sounds great, and you are going to blow it. If you cant control the aas then stop taking it. Yes we are all crazy horny when on...most crazy horny period..haha

I like to somewhat agree with Songdog on his cheating is bull crap! I also believe cheating shows lack of character, and just plain disrespectful. If you are not getting laid in a relationship, then man up and move on!

**redz** · 03-30-2012, 11:05 AM

Hearing all this input does help, hopefully I can get this worked out.

**JD250** · 03-30-2012, 11:13 AM

You'll be fine bro, just ride out the juice with extra caution and then see if you feel the same way, if so you can deal with those issues when both of your heads are thinking a little clearer. You know, she may miss the excitement too, when you're off the Tren you should think hard of a way to make her comfortable enough to talk about it, it might surprise you AND solve some of these problems at the same time.

**redz** · 03-30-2012, 12:07 PM

I think I can find a way to get her to open up sexually again like she used too, I`ll just have to be creative. Maybe just more effort on my part will fix those things too.

**Hazard** · 03-30-2012, 12:15 PM

Maybe a vacation on the wild side would be of some benefit to bring back the fire.....

Not sure if you can or what she's into..... but a surprise trip to vegas might be cool. Stay for 3-4 nights and make it a long weekend..... it's a sexy environment, lots of liquor and shows..... she might just surprise you with a BJ and anal int he same night.

~Haz~

**redz** · 03-30-2012, 12:19 PM

Hmm maybe a weekend away would be nice even if it was just a couple nights. I may plan something.

she might just surprise you with a BJ and anal int he same night.

Then I'd be truely happy lol

**SEOINAGE** · 03-30-2012, 05:09 PM

Good idea, little extra effort of your own can go a long ways. And my advice is if it doesn't work the first time keep trying, and if she doesn't get the hint that you want things to be more exciting, then talk to her. You'd be surprised. Anyways other than wedding cake, the other two things that kill a women's libido for real are birth control and pregnancy. I think I'm waiting to blast or run a cycle until she isn't pregnant and is healed up, otherwise major frustration.

**awms** · 03-31-2012, 04:44 PM

You wont want to hear this but your problem is your a selfish and bad husband...im sure you are a cool guy to hang with but as a husband it sounds like you are shitty! lol and honestly I wouldnt blame her for not wanting to have children with you or even wanting to stay with you much longer...At some point she will get tired of your crap and leave you, it might not be today but one day she will have her bags packed (or worse yours) and she will be gone. No one made you get married and you knew what you were getting into when you got married? So my advice is to you is buck up! stop being so selfish and start being a good husband before she leaves you! if that means you have to stop drinking then so be it! stop drinking.

One other thing that you might want to think about? What kind of friend lets you cheat on your wife? perhaps you should not be hanging out with guys like this because from the sound of things these people are putting your in situations that you should not be in.

**awms** · 03-31-2012, 04:47 PM

Let me tell you a secret. You are not the only person who looks at other women or man and thinks "man I want to bang her" in fact I bet you wife has done it many many times! Its human nature to be attracted to good looking people....the diffrence is that responsible people dont put them self in situations were anything could happen...yeah I have thought about cheating before but at the end of the day I would never do it!!! I love my gf I would not want to loose her because I was an selfish idot! so I just dont put my self in a situation were I can cheat.

**xXthehulkXx** · 03-31-2012, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

No way...... being intimate is a HUGE part of a marriage. Sex is human nature..... this is the way we are wired. So if my wife says she doesn't have any sex drive anymore and shes unwilling to try and find help - what do I do? She has to keep her man happy or lose him..... period. God..... I hope no one is living their life without intimacy for 5-6 months out of the year.

~Haz~

Hey haz. I haven't been intimate in 3 years. Not married or in relationship, just saying.

**GetItHot** · 03-31-2012, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by xXthehulkXx

Hey haz. I haven't been intimate in 3 years. Not married or in relationship, just saying.

Same here.

**Shol'va** · 03-31-2012, 10:22 PM

One of the perks of being gay is that guys are a horny bunch so it's always easy to get laid and no hassles. But if your straight, you have to be willing to overcome that fact your banging another dude. You can always turn out the lights when going at it and use your imagination your bangin some smokin babe.

**doxmaster** · 03-31-2012, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by Shol'va

One of the perks of being gay is that guys are a horny bunch so it's always easy to get laid and no hassles. But if your straight, you have to be willing to overcome that fact your banging another dude. You can always turn out the lights when going at it and use your imagination your bangin some smokin babe.

Thats were the the trannies come in im guessing

**lovbyts** · 04-01-2012, 12:43 AM

Originally Posted by redz

She wasn`t wearing any, in Canada it's full nude. They are very friendly here in Canada lol. The only thing she told me in the VIP was not to touch her in one spot........I sorta broke that rule.

WTF have I been doing? I'm only 1 1/2 hrs from Vancouver...

LOL

**lovbyts** · 04-01-2012, 12:46 AM

Originally Posted by GetItHot

Same here.

It doesnt count, you are in WA/Seattle and there are nothing there but whales. Thats all I ever see at the beach. lol

Originally Posted by awms

You wont want to hear this but your problem is your a selfish and bad husband...im sure you are a cool guy to hang with but as a husband it sounds like you are shitty! lol and honestly I wouldnt blame her for not wanting to have children with you or even wanting to stay with you much longer...At some point she will get tired of your crap and leave you, it might not be today but one day she will have her bags packed (or worse yours) and she will be gone. No one made you get married and you knew what you were getting into when you got married? So my advice is to you is buck up! stop being so selfish and start being a good husband before she leaves you! if that means you have to stop drinking then so be it! stop drinking.

One other thing that you might want to think about? What kind of friend lets you cheat on your wife? perhaps you should not be hanging out with guys like this because from the sound of things these people are putting your in situations that you should not be in.

That's a good point, I know I would never let a buddy do that or put them in that situation.

**redz** · 04-02-2012, 08:04 AM

Yeah my one friend seems to help me get in to trouble. I had an interesting weekend, wife and I were a bit closer than it went back to crap again. I just don`t know, things just aren`t the same anymore, I miss the feeling of a woman that is 100% in love with me.

**gixxerboy1** · 04-02-2012, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by redz

Yeah my one friend seems to help me get in to trouble. I had an interesting weekend, wife and I were a bit closer than it went back to crap again. I just don`t know, things just aren`t the same anymore, I miss the feeling of a woman that is 100% in love with me.

do you think she is thinking the same thing. That she misses a man 100% in love with her?

**redz** · 04-02-2012, 08:56 AM

Probably, I guess I`m not making it any easier but things have been going downhill for a long time.

**lovbyts** · 04-02-2012, 09:07 AM

I think you are just looking for an excuse to get out at this point but you face years of disappointment, divorce headaches as well as financial responsibilities. The grass is not quite so green once you cross that fence. It really sounds like what you guys have is easily fixed if both of you put some work into it. I suggest some counseling to start and learn/live the saying marriage is not a 50/50. It's 60/40 at best and YOU have to do the 60. If each person only puts in 50% someone is always going to think they are doing more than the other. If each of you just accept you have to do more than the other person there is not the expectation as much.

**redz** · 04-02-2012, 09:13 AM

Yeah I definitely understand the not 50/50. I have always been the one making the money she never worked. The way thigns are setup I stand to lose nothing in a divorce financially, it's complicated but there are assets in my name that aren`t really mine. (cars etc)

**lovbyts** · 04-02-2012, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by redz

Yeah I definitely understand the not 50/50. I have always been the one making the money she never worked. The way thigns are setup I stand to lose nothing in a divorce financially, it's complicated but there are assets in my name that aren`t really mine. (cars etc)

You are thinking backwards. That is setting you up to loose even more than if she had been working. Unless you have a pre nup that is iron clad and she is fairly compensated in it no court will let it stand where she is not compensated pretty good. Now if she was working and making the same as you then it would be much easier.

Before going into a divorce you want to get as much as possible OUT of your name, have as few assets as possible and money is liquid, cash not in accounts or it's all community property.

The 50/50 has NOTHING to do with working or income, it's strictly emotional, relationship and love. The financial part is all business and expectations should be worked out before marriage.

I have a buddy in that situation. Married 30 years. It was understood the wife would stay home to raise the kids until they are of age to fend for themselves and then help out financially. The youngest is 24 or 25 and mom wont let him leave the nest and refuses to work but is critical of ever $ he spends but in retrospect she spends what she wants when she wants and rules the roost.

You need to sit down and write a list of what you like about your wife. Dont finish it in a day, take a week to do it and add to it when you think of something and then start reviewing it. You might be surprised.

**redz** · 04-02-2012, 10:08 AM

You need to sit down and write a list of what you like about your wife. Dont finish it in a day, take a week to do it and add to it when you think of something and then start reviewing it. You might be surprised.

The list would be long for sure but I don`t know if that means much. Will I be happy ultimately is what I am asking myself.

You are thinking backwards. That is setting you up to loose even more than if she had been working. Unless you have a pre nup that is iron clad and she is fairly compensated in it no court will let it stand where she is not compensated pretty good. Now if she was working and making the same as you then it would be much easier.

What I mean is on paper I`m worth very little, my over all net worth would be low because of debt and the 2 cars that are in my name that are free and clear aren`t really mine anyways I would be willing to sign them over and take everything else. Which I`m pretty sure she would be fine with, we got close once already to a divorce and she basically was ready to sign whatever aggreement I came up with.

**jasc** · 04-02-2012, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by redz

Which I`m pretty sure she would be fine with, we got close once already to a divorce and she basically was ready to sign whatever aggreement I came up with.

From the sound of that, it seems like she's not happy either.. Sounds as if you guys need to sit down n have a serious talk, listen to what each other has to say n move from there. Trying to save a marriage is a noble gesture, but only if both parties really want it.

Only you know how you really feel n same with her. If I was you, I'd try to put in 100% effort n see where it goes. If the marriage fails, atleast you know you gave it your all. If you give up n later on realize it was a mistake, you'll always regret not trying. Just my .02

**redz** · 04-02-2012, 11:06 AM

Only you know how you really feel n same with her. If I was you, I'd try to put in 100% effort n see where it goes. If the marriage fails, atleast you know you gave it your all. If you give up n later on realize it was a mistake, you'll always regret not trying. Just my .02

Yeah I don`t want to live with regret. I guess I have to have a full on talk about this to see where she is at too.

**lovbyts** · 04-02-2012, 11:13 AM

Well it's funny how especially with women they can be fine with everything and in agreement then all of the sudden you are the spawn of evil, you have wasted xxx number of years of their lives and you become the enemy they need to destroy before they can have a life again. As logical as it is remember women are emotion based and it can turn on a dime for no reason so under the best circumstances you always need to prepare for the worst.

**gixxerboy1** · 04-02-2012, 04:31 PM

i can just tell you from my experience. My wife and i started to not get along. Really didnt communicate about it and it just grew into hating each other. I decided to move out. I told her i was going to find a place. She asked me to stay, we had a second bedroom and to see what happened. I left. We didnt talk just about a bill that came in the mail. She said she was going to the lawyer for a divorce i said fine send me the papers. She never did. Finally after months we started talking civilly. Just how are you kind of things. We both realized after we were apart how much we missed each other and loved each other.
If she would have did the divorce papers i doubt we would would be where we are. I very happy we are back together. i wish we never separated.
i was out hooking up with different girl. started bouncing at a club again. i was having fun. It was better being with her

**GirlyGymRat** · 04-03-2012, 08:39 PM

Opposites attract...yep! so it is very rare for couples to have the same language of love. 5 languages are Acts of service, quality time, gifts, touch (not the sex, but touchy feely cuddly), Words of affirmation. Google the Five love languages, quick easy read and if can read together even better.

I know it sounds like a chic flick book, but could save your wonderful marriage.

....seems like there are still a few decent MEN out there...good to know!