Tuff Love

**lestat85** · 11-02-2012, 06:12 AM

Originally Posted by frank13

yes don't abuse your kids its not a good idea they will grow to resent you i used to get hit as a kid and as an teen and it did nothing accepted cause more problems anyone that advocates hitting there kids wasn't hit as i was because they wouldn't want there kids going through that as far as kicking your kid out hell no all that will happen is they will go out and get in trouble and possibly do things they cant take back

I think you're taking that quote a little out of context. It been well established in this thread that no one is talking about beating their kids, but rather rather forcing them to deal with the consequences of their actions themselves.

AD · 11-02-2012, 12:19 PM

I vote lunk most worthy of a blue/red promotion.

Oops...wrong thread...

**Lunk1** · 11-02-2012, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by asiandude

I vote lunk most worthy of a blue/red promotion.

Oops...wrong thread...

Thanks AD

Yakasobi and Asahi is on me

**frank13** · 11-02-2012, 03:35 PM

[QUOTE=lestat85;6241604]I think you're taking that quote a little out of context. It been well established in this thread that no one is talking about beating their kids, but rather rather forcing them to deal with the consequences of their actions themselves.[/QUO

yea i dont think i did thanks

AD · 11-02-2012, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Thanks AD

Yakasobi and Asahi is on me

You know your beer well, my white brother.

**lestat85** · 11-02-2012, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by frank13

Originally Posted by lestat85

I think you're taking that quote a little out of context. It been well established in this thread that no one is talking about beating their kids, but rather rather forcing them to deal with the consequences of their actions themselves.

yea i dont think i did thanks

Perhaps I just took your post the wrong way. You definitely had good points, I think everyone can agree that hitting/beating a kid is wrong. But I have to say, I don't consider a spank to be beating a kid and I think there are a lot of people who agree about that. And I have had a lot worse than just a spank growing up.

**Remington** · 11-03-2012, 08:30 PM

**kmms** · 11-03-2012, 08:35 PM

kids just aren't the same, so no particular form of parenting is going to automatically work the same way with each child.

i've got at least 5 kids, from 25 years down to 18mos and if there was a cookie cutter for parenting and raising them i would have used it by now.

the only constant is attention. children need attention more than anything. if you fail to give them attention, they will find ways to take it from you and more often than not, those things they do to take it from you will be "bad" and create a negative loop of anger, punishment and even less good attention, rinse and repeat.

**Far from massive** · 11-03-2012, 08:46 PM

I don't really feel physical discipline is needed with your own kids.

I think if you have any kind of relationship with your kid you can look him/her in the eyes and tell them he/she has really dissapointed you with what they did and have it be just as effective as an ass whipping. However telling a kid they have dissapointed you is just like an ass whipping if you do either to frequently it will have no effect and the kid will just become hard.

**Remington** · 11-03-2012, 08:50 PM

Beat em!

**scorpion62** · 11-04-2012, 03:16 PM

i have raised five kids and never hit any of them due to the fact my father beat six bells of sh1t out of me when I did wrong , although I remember that belt of his the thing I remember most was the extreme hostility toward him after every beating and the mortification , the feeling of be humiliated when you piss yourself with fear as he beats you I made a promise to myself that when I had kids they would never have that feeling of fear run through them that I had when I was standing waiting for my father to lay his punishment down ,

If my troops stepped out of line grounded and all the tech taking off them ie there phone seems to be the sorest one

Would I put one of my kids out if they kept breaking the rules ,this I did twice 18 year old and 24 year old sons at differant times off coures after two weeks of mates floors they came back it did the trick , dont get me wrong this wasn't easy it was the hardest thing I have ever did as after you do it you dont sleep and you worry yourself sick but sometimes you have to make a stand

**lovbyts** · 11-05-2012, 03:15 AM

Originally Posted by scorpion62

i have raised five kids and never hit any of them due to the fact my father beat six bells of sh1t out of me when I did wrong , although I remember that belt of his the thing I remember most was the extreme hostility toward him after every beating and the mortification , the feeling of be humiliated when you piss yourself with fear as he beats you I made a promise to myself that when I had kids they would never have that feeling of fear run through them that I had when I was standing waiting for my father to lay his punishment down ,

If my troops stepped out of line grounded and all the tech taking off them ie there phone seems to be the sorest one

Would I put one of my kids out if they kept breaking the rules ,this I did twice 18 year old and 24 year old sons at differant times off coures after two weeks of mates floors they came back it did the trick , dont get me wrong this wasn't easy it was the hardest thing I have ever did as after you do it you dont sleep and you worry yourself sick but sometimes you have to make a stand

Well you are describing the extreme in most cases and abuse, not the normal spanking type punishment. Sure I was scared when I knew I was going to get a woopen but that's the point. The fear was always worse than the punishment though but yes it stung. My dad/mom used a belt or ping pong paddle.

I only ever spanked my daughter a few times but I also believe in tough love and when she didn't want to follow my rules when she was 16 she found herself somewhere else to stay for a while also (several months). It wasn't with Grandma or any of the relatives though. She called all them but they LOL at her and said it's her own fault. She will openly admit she was stupid and try to convince other kids her age or a little younger not to do the same as she did.

**kmms** · 11-05-2012, 04:35 AM

^^^yep i've found it's extremely important to drill into their heads how they are ultimately responsible for whatever they are getting, be it an ice cream cone or a teep (j/k haha!)

if you aren't making them responsible for everything from a very early age then problems are going to be coming from every direction.

**lestat85** · 11-05-2012, 08:16 AM

I think it's been very well established that this thread was never asking if its ok to abuse or beat children, as many seem to have interpreted its as. The op even stated that he wasn't even talking about spanking, but rather the idea of making children deal with the consequences of their action and not bailing them out of trouble

To me tough love simply means forcing them do deal with their actions themselves and not helping them all the time. Sometimes the worst thing you can do for someone is to clean up their mess for them.

Growing up, I got worse than just spanks, to be honest. While he may have gone too far sometimes in his idea of punishment, it was never for no reason. I turned out fine and would never beat my children, but they have been spanked.