Lazy Girlfriend

**Times Roman** · 11-17-2012, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

Very true but I'm sure as most would agree typically it gets worse, not better. Very few decide to start getting in shape and exercising more AFTER they get married. For most it's all about attracting the other person but once you get them they stop all/most of those things just like you hear so many guys complain about (not from personal experience) no sex, no oral or the typical gaining weight after marriage. Do you ever here how she lost weight, got in shape, starting giving head or more sex after marriage? I'm sure it happens, 1/1000 maybe vs the other way around.

I'm just saying if this is the trend dont expect it to get better.

so you think blokes like us at our age beating ourselves up, lifting all the time, kinda makes us freaks, no?

**GirlyGymRat** · 11-17-2012, 10:26 PM

unfortunately, i would have to agree with Lovbyts this time.............blahahahahaha

Originally Posted by lovbyts

Very true but I'm sure as most would agree typically it gets worse, not better. Very few decide to start getting in shape and exercising more AFTER they get married. For most it's all about attracting the other person but once you get them they stop all/most of those things just like you hear so many guys complain about (not from personal experience) no sex, no oral or the typical gaining weight after marriage. Do you ever here how she lost weight, got in shape, starting giving head or more sex after marriage? I'm sure it happens, 1/1000 maybe vs the other way around.

I'm just saying if this is the trend dont expect it to get better.

**lovbyts** · 11-17-2012, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat

unfortunately, i would have to agree with Lovbyts this time.............blahahahahaha

LOL. I typically put in the standard disclaimer. There are exceptions to every rule but there is a reason for generalizations and stereotyping.

It would be nice if it wasn't this way with guys or girls but typically one or the other and many times both just quit trying or putting effort into it after they feel comfortable or married.

**Times Roman** · 11-17-2012, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat

unfortunately, i would have to agree with Lovbyts this time.............blahahahahaha

true. people have a tendency to get lazy when they get comfortable with their ways and routines. they begin to take things for granted, and take relationships for granted too.
When fishing, once you have already caught your fish, no need for the beautiful lure, right?

**Times Roman** · 11-17-2012, 10:33 PM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

LOL. I typically put in the standard disclaimer. There are exceptions to every rule but there is a reason for generalizations and stereotyping.

It would be nice if it wasn't this way with guys or girls but typically one or the other and many times both just quit trying or putting effort into it after they feel comfortable or married.

so let me guess....

.... when both become blubbery blobs that resemble land bound elephant seals flopping around on the beach....

....what happens to sex?

do they just give it up? I mean when you go over 75% BF, the physical exertion alone is enough to make it seem not worth while? So instead, they just split a big chocolate cake and grovel in there immenseness?

**GirlyGymRat** · 11-17-2012, 10:34 PM

people can change, but i see more couples putting on a few pounds....but it's the lack of enthusiasm for life that would trouble me if I was OP! she sounds depressed! maybe she's not happy neither???

**GirlyGymRat** · 11-17-2012, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

so let me guess....

.... when both become blubbery blobs that resemble land bound elephant seals flopping around on the beach....

....what happens to sex?

do they just give it up? I mean when you go over 75% BF, the physical exertion alone is enough to make it seem not worth while? So instead, they just split a big chocolate cake and grovel in there immenseness?

i've seen these creatures at the beach and can't imagine sex being intimate if you can't really put your arms around each other! LOL

**lovbyts** · 11-18-2012, 12:06 AM

I'm sure they both get uninterested or they may be fine with it. Typically each one blames the other for lack of interest. It's always easier to lay blame on the other person than to take personal responsibility.

**LiL P** · 11-18-2012, 07:03 AM

LOL a number of people have brought to our attention that they are having this problem and people are seriously putting it down to some underlying problem? I dont think its the case in every overweight person a few maybe.. Heres 2 things iv seen happen too people around me 1. people get too comfortable wen they in a long term relationship and totally let loose 2. people do not realize they are fat it most the time takes a look at old pictures or not being able to fit into old clothes for them to realize EVEN people telling them "wow your putting on weight" wont work simply because they don't want to believe it so they wont listen.

As for advice all i can say is you cannot help someone who is not prepared to help themselves, id suggest slowly incorporating cardiovascular activity back into her schedule maybe suggesting you go for a walk together in the evening? DO NOT hint in anyway that you want to partake in this walk as a way of her losing weight just tell her you want to spend sometime with her or something she needs to make the weight loss decision thing for herself for it too be most effective. So in a nut shell try find ways to wean her back too the healthy lifestyle i suggest training first and diet will follow

If this dosent work tell her you'l eat the box everynight if she goes back to the gym(notsrs) unless you think it might work o.o

**canesfan804** · 11-18-2012, 08:51 AM

The biggest problem is not the fact she isnt in shape anymore its the fact she does nothing all day. I wouldnt put up with that type of behavior. If I came home to a clean house and dinner was made I can handle the fact that things are not as tight as they use to be. Most people change physically and emotionally as they get older. Im just saying that once you love someone you dont really notice the phisical changes. Well you dont care as much about the changes. As for the looking at other women, we all do that to some extent. If the sex isnt what it use to be they are wired totally different than us and sex is more mental in a relationship. They want you to make them feel like a beautiful princess and we want them to have dirty az feet in the bed room. Send her some flowers on a random Tuesday and cook her a nice meal or run her a bubble bath and give her a message. Weird how these little things are like foreplay for them. Just a thought

**wh1spa** · 11-18-2012, 03:18 PM

Put up with it or leave her.

**lovbyts** · 11-19-2012, 02:55 AM

Originally Posted by canesfan804

The biggest problem is not the fact she isnt in shape anymore its the fact she does nothing all day. I wouldnt put up with that type of behavior. If I came home to a clean house and dinner was made I can handle the fact that things are not as tight as they use to be. Most people change physically and emotionally as they get older. Im just saying that once you love someone you dont really notice the phisical changes. Well you dont care as much about the changes. As for the looking at other women, we all do that to some extent. If the sex isnt what it use to be they are wired totally different than us and sex is more mental in a relationship. They want you to make them feel like a beautiful princess and we want them to have dirty az feet in the bed room. Send her some flowers on a random Tuesday and cook her a nice meal or run her a bubble bath and give her a message. Weird how these little things are like foreplay for them. Just a thought

If she isnt getting fat or out of shape then just talk to her and see what's up. I know I have had to remind mine a few times that it's part of her job/duty to help out and pull her weight so to speak and if you/I need to hire a house keeper to boot and she is not working I might as well go back to dating since it's obviously not a we/working together type relationship.

We are all supposed to do things to make it easier for the significant other and when it gets one sided something is wrong.

**cherrydrpepper** · 11-19-2012, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

Very true but I'm sure as most would agree typically it gets worse, not better. Very few decide to start getting in shape and exercising more AFTER they get married. For most it's all about attracting the other person but once you get them they stop all/most of those things just like you hear so many guys complain about (not from personal experience) no sex, no oral or the typical gaining weight after marriage. Do you ever here how she lost weight, got in shape, starting giving head or more sex after marriage? I'm sure it happens, 1/1000 maybe vs the other way around.

I'm just saying if this is the trend dont expect it to get better.

I had a friend in high school who's mom became a workout freak. She got breast implants, worked out until she had a 6 pack, ran several miles a day and would lay out on her back lawn topless to sunbath everyday.

A couple of years went by and she kept needling her husband with barbs every day until she was able to spring a divorce on him without it seeming out of the blue. It was her plan all along and she went on a f fest afterwards.

So I agree people who work out and get in shape after marriage are by far the exception and sometimes they even have ulterior motives for it.

**lovbyts** · 11-20-2012, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by cherrydrpepper

I had a friend in high school who's mom became a workout freak. She got breast implants, worked out until she had a 6 pack, ran several miles a day and would lay out on her back lawn topless to sunbath everyday.

A couple of years went by and she kept needling her husband with barbs every day until she was able to spring a divorce on him without it seeming out of the blue. It was her plan all along and she went on a f fest afterwards.

So I agree people who work out and get in shape after marriage are by far the exception and sometimes they even have ulterior motives for it.

At-least she waited until after the marriage to do the f fest. Ill bet she was in her 40s and going through menopause or she was just a B*tch.

**cherrydrpepper** · 11-20-2012, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

At-least she waited until after the marriage to do the f fest. Ill bet she was in her 40s and going through menopause or she was just a B*tch.

Yeah probably both. To be fair she was hot I would have bent her over in a heartbeat. To the OP I think you have to use positive reinforcement if you are going to get her in shape. She probably is depressed. Being fat and depressed go hand in hand and feed off each other.

I think because you are banging her there may be hope to change her due to the relationship. My brother is a virgin in his 30s he has a double chin fat cheeks and a pot belly. I got him working out his arms have gotten bigger and don't look like they belong on a woman anymore. Unfortunately he is so far gone into fantasy lala land I don't think I can bring him back to reality. I think in his case he really believes he can't win and doesn't want to try. As bad as the situation is he has agreed to try online dating at the beginning of next year. I think when you have someone really stubborn about being stuck in a situation you have to get them to set small goals and stay on them. My brother gets incredibly defensive but he is being consistent about working out. I have noticed that women seem to have it a little better off. A woman can be a fat pile of crap and some guy who is afraid of the gym will bang her because thats what a guy who doesn't go to the gym can typically get if he doesn't have a reallly good face or something else going for him.