should i get a divorce ?

**Edwin23q** · 01-13-2013, 04:08 AM

Wow I can't believe this thread has turned out the way it has.
I agree with^^^ lets just stop the replies as Wer not discussing the original question.
Just goes to show we still have a long way to go before we see peace in the world.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

**lovbyts** · 01-13-2013, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by wmaousley

Everyone, please take my advice. Ignore this guy completely for the sake of argument. This has went from an advice seeking thread to a smear campaign about religion. Its bearing zero fruit and he is making himself look like a jackass.

Also my 3yo daughter knows more about Islam than this guy. if you wanna know about the religion she can skype you lol

Good advise.
I think the OP is the only one who thought it was a religious thing. The rest of us know it's a personality issue.

**extremophile_me** · 01-13-2013, 06:19 AM

Trust your instincts..if you want to leave just leave but don't spoil eachothers lives.

**dan991** · 01-13-2013, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by wmaousley

Stoning is outlawed in all but Iran, and it was used to punish/kill a woman or man who was caught cheating, which I may add is impossible cause it requires 4 witnesses.

Its not impossible- you just have to have a gangbang with a married chick and there's the 4 witnesses, lol

**Lunk1** · 01-13-2013, 07:58 AM

Granovich,,,good for you for making things work and stepping up...even if mistakes were made on your part!

Everyone else...the guy believes what he believes...wrong, right ot indifferent, they are his beliefs. Have some respect!

Every conversation does not have to turn into religion or politics! Try to be supportive...I'm sure in his world he is hurting. Just because we can't relate or understand...doesn't mean he isn't hurting!

**lovbyts** · 01-13-2013, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Granovich,,,good for you for making things work and stepping up...even if mistakes were made on your part!

Everyone else...the guy believes what he believes...wrong, right ot indifferent, they are his beliefs. Have some respect!

Every conversation does not have to turn into religion or politics! Try to be supportive...I'm sure in his world he is hurting. Just because we can't relate or understand...doesn't mean he isn't hurting!

Agreed. That being said you need to re read some of it and see who turned it into a religious issue and who was doing the disrespecting. Either way it's done.

**boz** · 01-13-2013, 08:48 AM

Im not going to read over every post here cause i believe in this circumstance there is no reason for divorce what so ever.

We live in the 2000 era, not the 1800 by the sounds of it your religion is very strict on what you follow and your belief's and i have no objections to that what so ever, its also prob got alot to do with how you were brought up by your father and mother, what you have to realise is the time your parents lived in are alot different to the way we live now, alot cannot relate to it.

Also Correct me if im wrong, i do have a phew islamic friends, and teachings and there ways are "forgive but never forget?" Unfortunately on this earth NO ONE IS perfect, we are not saints, and all have deep dark skeletons in our closets. For you to break off a marriage over this will not only hurt her but hurt you the most, when you finally sit down and think over what you did, you will come to your senses and realise you know what she may not of been perfect but she was hell dam close to it, and for you to find someone as close as that again is like finding a needle in a hay stack these days.

I had a ex gf and she threw figures at me of how many guys she slept with, yes it mad me a little angry and insecure, but i grew out of it cause at the time she wanted me and i wanted her and she proved this to me time out again and again, yes it didnt work out but when true love is there, the past is the past focus on the present.

Wow now that i have read a phew posts from the last page, things kinda got out of hand =\ ill leave my post at this and will not get involved and opinionate myself on him or his relationship for the sake of things getting more out of hand, what i have said above is all i will finish up by saying.

**>Good Luck<** · 01-13-2013, 09:08 AM

Dude, I'm sorry for you situation. Everyone is entitled to their own values and I can understand why u would be angry. I think it took a lot of courage for he to confess to you and shows that she has a conscience and the guilt was bothering her. Another sign she is a good person. Im not understanding of your religion but i know my god teaches forgiveness and that love surpasses all. If you really love her, then forgive her for holding a secret from you. Sounds like you have a good girl who made one bad choice, thus making her human

Good luck

**extremophile_me** · 01-13-2013, 10:18 AM

You are the one who has to live with her not anyone else in this forum.if you make decision according to what people say it's insane. If you have enough values and crap you will know what to do..

**Atomini** · 01-13-2013, 10:42 AM

Hot damn, I wish I was following this thread last night before I went to bed!!!!

**canesfan804** · 01-13-2013, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by Granovich

no thats not how it is . you can marry " believer"
Muslim, Christian , Jew. nothing else
main 3 religions
because to Islam we consider christianity and Judaism are religions of god
because bible and tourah are books and god
and consider Jesus and Mousos are prophets of God
with same value to us as Mohamad

WOW!! I never knew this. I am glad to know this for the next Muslim debate I get into. I know some dumb people that think all Muslims are bad people and trying to kill all us Christians. As for you question on your wife, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her and not let it linger. It will prob bother you for a couple days but try not to be a jerk. Im sure she lied to you because of your religion and maybe she didnt understand how you would perceive her in the begining. Unfortunately she couldnt fess up because then she is a lyar. Now you have been married for a bit she feels more secure to let you know these things. Good luck and hope you can get through it.

**canesfan804** · 01-13-2013, 10:49 AM

Also I would be angry in this situation too. Like you said not about the sex but the lie itself.

**paulzane** · 01-13-2013, 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by >Good Luck<

Dude, I'm sorry for you situation. Everyone is entitled to their own values and I can understand why u would be angry. I think it took a lot of courage for he to confess to you and shows that she has a conscience and the guilt was bothering her. Another sign she is a good person. Im not understanding of your religion but i know my god teaches forgiveness and that love surpasses all. If you really love her, then forgive her for holding a secret from you. Sounds like you have a good girl who made one bad choice, thus making her human

Good luck

That bad choice was her ever going with the OP!

I hope she dumps him and let's him go to his intolerant, myopic, up his own arse world!!

**Granovich** · 01-13-2013, 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by wmaousley

Dude, first of all you need to pump your brakes. I am a muslim and everyone on this board knows this. Your tone will not reflect on my position here and you will not make posts that make Islam look bad.
You're problem is not Islam, you're problem is your close minded culture that you want to mix with Islam and this is the problem with most of the Middle East. You need to take 4 deep breaths, and a huge step in reverse my man before you end you're membership here.

Islam is a religion of peace and you are showing nothing but agression. Stop being offensive and educate others on who you are and you're culture. Differentiate between Islam and you're culture. Do not mix them cause it offends me.

Sir im calm and all i said is i dont like his tone with me . i didnt show that islam is bad in anyway. i wasnt talking about Islam anyway... my culture isnt close minded ITS THE HOW THE WORLD SHOULD WORK.
not like in USA everyone sleeping with everyone else. AIDS and other diseases, people dont know their parents, cheating and married people have lovers. you wont find this where i come from
so who is better ???
and im not offensive , its strange that you are pointing fingers at me like im the one who is mistaken and telling me " cancel membership"
there is no way that would happen cuz i didnt say 1 bad thing.
90 people replied with great advices. except this guy always in every thread being an asshole...
dont act like im the bad person

**Granovich** · 01-13-2013, 12:55 PM

..................
thank you everyone for your support

**Granovich** · 01-13-2013, 01:03 PM

...............

**gixxerboy1** · 01-13-2013, 01:03 PM

all i can say is OMG.
This thread really needs to be locked now

**Granovich** · 01-13-2013, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by wmaousley

DSM is right 120%, even you know he is right. WHy dont you go tell your arab family, or arab friends? I will tell you why you wont seek their advice. Because in your culture you are more embarrassed by this than anything and you feel disrespected and dont want anyone to know you have a problem at home, you want everything to look like a perfect relationship. I bet you even told youre wife to never speak of this to anyone didnt you? I will answer that too, its a yes.

You are mindless and the more I read this shlt and yes I am reading backwards I get more and more frustrated with you. I bet you come from Jordan, Syria, Lebanon or Iraq. If youre from Africa I will be super surprised except for Algeria.

Give up while you are ahead, I dont even wanna help you anymore. I feel like bashing honestly. you are Poor excuse for a man and a disgrace to Islam Mr. Religious.

im russian . thanky you for your words. i dont know why are you saying what you are saying as i never said any word to you...
but again if you dont want to help so be it... problem already solved and i def dont need your help

**gixxerboy1** · 01-13-2013, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Granovich;633***7

ok first of all. Better religion is closer to God. closer to God is better person... thats my beliefs and 2 billion Muslims around the world .
stoning is not easy . 4 people have to testify that this woman/man cheated on their spouse in order to have them stoned. which is very hard to do because how would you find 4 people say i seen her having sex with another man , or seen him having sex with another woman....
when i said when your daughter is 16 and have kids i was being hypothetical. i believe a 5 years old would know that . i was measuring things of everyone having sex outside bond of marriage and making examples so you can think about it

Its not about you dont agree with me or not. you accuse me of being wrong which is very strange. Because even my wife didnt say that i was wrong and 99% of people who i talked to didnt say i was wrong except you.
my job is to protect women yes... I HAVENT specified any person wife/sister/mother and i didnt attack anyone here.. all i said that when women have 10 guys she slept with before marriage she is a whore..
i didnt say your wife or his wife or anyone wife....
did i answer all your questions !
now thank you for participating and i would appreciate if you dont comment anymore because i dont need to waste more of my valuable time

you may not have said anyone's wife specifically. But 10 people isnt unheard of. So some peoples heres wife's or girls may have had that many partners so you did just call them whores.

and we have female members here that may have had that many partners in their lives

**Granovich** · 01-13-2013, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Granovich,,,good for you for making things work and stepping up...even if mistakes were made on your part!

Everyone else...the guy believes what he believes...wrong, right ot indifferent, they are his beliefs. Have some respect!

Every conversation does not have to turn into religion or politics! Try to be supportive...I'm sure in his world he is hurting. Just because we can't relate or understand...doesn't mean he isn't hurting!

thank you Lunk , i worked with your advce and fixed the situation
i swear i dont know how the discussion turned into religion
last thing i want is to have enemies in this place as i love it...
thank you again

**Nicotine** · 01-13-2013, 01:20 PM

Her life before you, was her life.

If there's a solid relationship (this issue aside) and the future looks good - who cares?

**Granovich** · 01-13-2013, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

you may not have said anyone's wife specifically. But 10 people isnt unheard of. So some peoples heres wife's or girls may have had that many partners so you did just call them whores.

and we have female members here that may have had that many partners in their lives

I take that back , everyone can sleep with anyone they want relationship or not relationship
i dont even know why i bother my self with that...
everyone be happy and do what you want !

**Nebuchadnezzar** · 01-13-2013, 01:26 PM

This thread was nice and giving good advice
until "Lovebyt" started talking bullshit
he went out of the main discussion and said the OP is wrong and he deserve that which would get anyone upset especially in such situation..
Lovebyt if you dont want to help i suggest you leave because you are a joke

**Lunk1** · 01-13-2013, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar

This thread was nice and giving good advice
until "Lovebyt" started talking bullshit
he went out of the main discussion and said the OP is wrong and he deserve that which would get anyone upset especially in such situation..
Lovebyt if you dont want to help i suggest you leave because you are a joke

With 31 posts I question how well you know Lovebyts and how qualified you are to make that assesment! My experience and I'm guess many others has been just the opposite! I might consider getting to know someone a little better or at least reading some thread history before passing such hasty judgment on a respected member!

**songdog** · 01-13-2013, 01:42 PM

You know she should divorce you! Beacuse she deserves a guy who isnt so judgemental.I really feel sorry for her.NO PUN!

**likelifting** · 01-13-2013, 01:50 PM

This is quite a thread. Wish I would have checked it out sooner.

**Nebuchadnezzar** · 01-13-2013, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

With 31 posts I question how well you know Lovebyts and how qualified you are to make that assesment! My experience and I'm guess many others has been just the opposite! I might consider getting to know someone a little better or at least reading some thread history before passing such hasty judgment on a respected member!

I don't need to read more. Based on this thread i made my judgment , which is all i need. Just because he has been around for a long time doesn't make him more experienced or better or bigger if that matters. You have respect for him because that he has been here for long time, which isn't fair because he is the WRONG this time.
Names don't make you big, it's acts. If Swifto him self acts like an asshole, i will tell him you are an asshole.

**gixxerboy1** · 01-13-2013, 01:52 PM

Everyone just please stop with this thread its going to get ugly fast

**likelifting** · 01-13-2013, 01:55 PM

If you open yourself, life, up to the internetz and ask for opinions, be ready to receive them. Good and bad.

**Granovich** · 01-13-2013, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by songdog

You know she should divorce you! Beacuse she deserves a guy who isnt so judgemental.I really feel sorry for her.NO PUN!

why would you say that. you didnt even say one good sentence and now you came saying she should divorce you !?!
on what grounds ?
just because me and lovebyt are talking like that it doesnt mean i treat her this way
i have always treated my wife with respect and love that when others see it they tell her that she is lucky...
i wont act with my wife the same way im talking right now
it was nice for the first 3 pages until some guys came and starting blaming me for things which did upset me because im already hurt. and now people saying she should divorce me
judgmental or not , she is my wife not yours. if it was you in the same situation i promise you would get upset as well
but you cant relate to it because you never been there. or you have no feelings

**dan991** · 01-13-2013, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

Everyone just please stop with this thread its going to get ugly fast

This is no place for you to interject logic......

**Granovich** · 01-13-2013, 01:58 PM

Originally Posted by likelifting

If you open yourself, life, up to the internetz and ask for opinions, be ready to receive them. Good and bad.

i asked for advice not opinion. saying i'm wrong and idiot and jackass just by reading the main thread isn't very nice because i'm already hurt from the situation...
but anyway i don't hate anyone. and i thank everyone for the opinions/advices