Life After Hate

[Until_It_Sleeps]

Thought I'd post something about a little thing I do on the side. I recently left a white supremacy organization, having been involved in that life for the past few years. I set up a site with podcasts and a video to explain my history in the movement and why I left. I'm doing this because I think hate is lame and being involved in groups like that was a waste of my life.

http://www.axissallyraw.com/

"Axis Sally" was a name I used to spew hate materials on an internet radio show.

Plus at the top are a few pics of me from my very first show, compared to my most recent one.

[bigZthedestroyer]

Very cool! I feel like I haven't seen you around here lately. Your progression in your pics is awesome. Ill watch the vids later on!

[canesfan804]

Wow, I am kinda shocked that someone would come out to admit something like this. I am glad to hear you figured how dumb it is to hate anyone for the race, religion, sex, beliefs or whatever. I hope that you have come to terms with the fact there are people who will not forgive you. The important thing is God will. Just remember change is not easy. People who you thought were your friends will turn on you. There will be times when you miss the old pals and just want to stop by. My advise is to stay way from the bad influences because they have a way of pulling you back in.

[canesfan804]

Can we have admin change your name to Clayton Bigsby?? JK

Sory if too soon but I couldnt resist.

[Atomini]

I'm very proud of you to hear that you've come out of that lifestyle. I'm not sure what else to say other than that you will now see the ridiculousness of what you belonged to now that you are seeing everything from a different perspective, and the big picture.

[kronik420]

white power

lol jks

good for you

[evander87]

Congrats on turning your life around. Can I ask how you got into the lifestyle? I mean Bellevue WA isn't exactly a hot bed of white power (or is it?)

[The Bear 79]

white power lol jks

lol...........you're an ass hat.........

[The Bear 79]

Congrats on turning your life around. Can I ask how you got into the lifestyle? I mean Bellevue WA isn't exactly a hot bed of white power (or is it?)

Portland Oregon is, & that's close enough.

[kronik420]

lol whats a ass hat?

[The Bear 79]

I don't know.................if I had to guess, I'd say it was in reference to someone with "sh!t for brains"................?

[gixxerboy1]

I thought you wear an ass hat while captain of a douche canoe

[Until_It_Sleeps]

Yes, I started in Portland OR, but there are a lot of little "units" throughout WA.

I also had to cover up a lot of ink for shows. Bodybuilding is one main thing that pushed me out of that life because it was my first exposure to other races. I'd never really known anyone who was not white before. So after a few shows I could see I really had no reason to hate anyone.

I stayed with the groups long after I stopped being racist due to a fear of violent retaliation. I decided it was better to face that and take whatever comes my way than to continue to say the kinds of things I did not believe.

I am aware that there are many who will not overlook where I came from, and I can understand that. It was a really disgusting thing to get into.

[The Bear 79]

I am aware that there are many who will not overlook where I came from, and I can understand that. It was a really disgusting thing to get into.

Well you're beyond & above that now & I say fvck anyone that tries to drag you back down because of a mistake you made in the past. Keep your head up & pay no attention to the losers that may not forgive..........

[Dpyle]

Here's to you for moving beyond the hate.

I will say though I believe most of these neo-Nazi boneheads would change their fashion if they knew where the skinhead movement came from and what's it's still about for the traditional skins.

[>Good Luck<]

I believe it takes courage to admit your past, and I'm sure you are doing so in order to find a way to feel better about your past. I don't know you, but I have a tremendous amount of respect for you for having the character to rectify your wrongs. It sounds like your journey is just beginning and I hope you have to courage and wisdom to continue on the path of right. I'm sure it was something that was taught to you, and it's amazing that you found a way to change what was seemingly normal to you. Anyone who doesn't hold your past against you is no better than you were when you were part of that supremacy. Here is a quote that your situation reminds me of...

Never to old, never to late, never to sick- to start from scratch again.

Good luck

[Rwy]

I believe it takes courage to admit your past, and I'm sure you are doing so in order to find a way to feel better about your past. I don't know you, but I have a tremendous amount of respect for you for having the character to rectify your wrongs. It sounds like your journey is just beginning and I hope you have to courage and wisdom to continue on the path of right. I'm sure it was something that was taught to you, and it's amazing that you found a way to change what was seemingly normal to you. Anyone who doesn't hold your past against you is no better than you were when you were part of that supremacy. Here is a quote that your situation reminds me of...

Never to old, never to late, never to sick- to start from scratch again.

Good luck

Right On. I am annoyed by responses in this thread. Show some support people

[The Bear 79]

^^^^^^^What responses are you annoyed by? It appears everyone has been supportive.............

[Until_It_Sleeps]

Well I don't think I have to worry about being pulled back in; after going public I'm the worst traitor they now know. They're insisting I'm not white and that's why I be acting this way. I couldn't re-join even if I wanted to. I have a bunch of clothing and literature to mail off to one of those anti-racist non-profits; they collect white power propaganda like that.

[GirlyGymRat]

whats an ass hat?

lol...........you're an ass hat.........

[canesfan804]

We all have made mistakes in the past. I was a bit of a homophobe when I was young (actually until recently) but having a brother and sister that were/are gay kinda force you to rethink you logic. I never hated homosexuals per say just hated the act of homosexuality. Well unless it was 2 hot chicks. Never said I was the sharpest knife..... Anyways good luck with the changes and keep up the good work in the gym!

[>Good Luck<]

^^^^^^^What responses are you annoyed by? It appears everyone has been supportive.............

I assume he means the part about "coming to terms that some will never forgive you"

[canesfan804]

^^^^^^^What responses are you annoyed by? It appears everyone has been supportive.............

x's 2

[canesfan804]

I assume he means the part about "coming to terms that some will never forgive you"

I didnt mean that as a put down. I hope it did not come off that way to OP. If so I am sorry to offend. I hope nothing but the best for her in her journey through life.

[GirlyGymRat]

welcome back to the light!

[>Good Luck<]

This thread is turning in to one of those feel good ones... Or maybe my estrogen is high... I think I'm tearing up :'(

[JohnnyVegas]

Congrats on moving away from that sort of destructive mentality. That is a big deal and I can imagine you will benefit from it as you continue to grow.

It is fascinating that bodybuilding helped make the difference. Funny how getting to know people of other ethnicities, religions, etc. oftentimes makes us realize we are all very similar especially when we meet people with similar interests.

[The Bear 79]

whats an ass hat?

lol whats a ass hat?

I don't know.................if I had to guess, I'd say it was in reference to someone with "sh!t for brains"................?

I thought you wear an ass hat while captain of a douche canoe

Feel free to appoint your assumed definition if you wish..............

[HitIt]

the cat cracks me up. and good job.

[Until_It_Sleeps]

The cat is a private joke; it was well known by the "brothers" that I hated cats. I asked my webmaster to replace it with a bottle of Pendleton whisky.

My first show, I was disgusted at having to share backstage with non-whites and that a woman who looked Native American was doing my tan. By my second and third shows I grew to respect all the athletes because we were all there for one thing.

[Until_It_Sleeps]

And you know what's really funny...in those "before" pics in the blue suit, I was on just as much juice as in the "after" pics. That's proof right there that drugs won't do anything for a crappy diet! Had no coach back then and no idea what to do.

[RoadToHuge]

asshat	8226 up, 700 down
	One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat. Asshat buy asshat mugs & shirts by anonymous Oct 11, 2002 share this add a video
	asshat images
	Teh asshat 1 of 3
2.	asshat	2417 up, 722 down
	A person, of either gender, whose behavior displays such ignorance/obnoxiousness that you would like to make them wear their own ass as a hat. Usage: "Can you believe that my boss is making me stay until 9 pm on a Friday!?" "What an asshat." buy asshat mugs & shirts by c g ball Sep 6, 2005 share this add a video
3.	asshat	2162 up, 1220 down
	a unit vector in the ass direction (similar to i hat, a unit vector in the i (or x) direction, j hat, k hat, etc.) "Andrew is such an asshat." "Totally. His unit vector is definitely pointed in the ass direction."

Feel free to appoint your assumed definition if you wish..............

[austinite]

Good job.

[Lunk1]

Much respect UIS!!!!

[songdog]

Glad to have you here and wish you the best in the future.

[lovbyts]

Congrats on turning your life around. Can I ask how you got into the lifestyle? I mean Bellevue WA isn't exactly a hot bed of white power (or is it?)

Portland Oregon is, & that's close enough.

It's pretty big/popular on the East side also by Yakima and Spokane from what I understand. Lots of skin heads over there.
I never understood all the racism and hate. The other problem is it's far from being one sided and the majority of it is not white supremacist.

[< <Samson> >]

I hate everyone equally

No, BS aside shit like this just gets to me a bit. Real, cool you got past it though.


I understand the way people are, but stand back for minute and look at what you are. You can be racist all you want, but you know it's a fact not all xxxx whatever are bad people.

It's just life, I have been raised racist. But, when I got to an age to understand what life really is, it didn't make sense.

[evander87]

It's pretty big/popular on the East side also by Yakima and Spokane from what I understand. Lots of skin heads over there.
I never understood all the racism and hate. The other problem is it's far from being one sided and the majority of it is not white supremacist.

That's why I'm wonder where or how hate is learned in Portland. Spokane is 90% white and right next door to N Idaho which used to have the Aryan Brotherhood. But Portland from my limited travels there seems pretty diverse. How could one not come in contact with minorities there?

[cherrydrpepper]

Just wanted to tell Until It Sleeps I really respect you for making a decision to be a better person. Also I cant stand people who try to hold your past against you. Don't even feel that your past defines you what you do today is what defines you.