Roman's "Time Out" Corner for telling bad jokes......

[Shsm]

Yo mama is so fat that they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

Yo mama is so dirty that the US Government uses her bath water as a chemical weapon

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out

Yo momma's feet are so crusty, when she walks on a wooden floor, it sounds like she's tap dancing.

[Times Roman]

Yo mamma's so fat, the bitch went to Sizzler's and got a group discount!

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked for a water bed, they threw a blanket over the pacific ocean

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so dirty that the US Government uses her bath water as a chemical weapon

Yo Mamas so stupid she locked herself in the bathroom and pissed her pants.

[Shsm]

Yo Mamas so stupid she locked herself in the bathroom and pissed her pants.

Yo mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day

Yo momma's so stupid, she call you a son of a bitch

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day

Yo momma so ugly all the neighbours pitched in for curtains

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day

Yo momma is so fat she falls off both sides of the bed at the same time

[Shsm]

Yo momma's so stupid, she call you a son of a bitch

Yo mama is so stupid that she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so fat that they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

Your mom's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.

[Shsm]

Yo momma so ugly all the neighbours pitched in for curtains

Yo mama is so stupid that she uses Old Spice for cooking

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies

Your mom's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar

[Shsm]

Yo momma is so fat she falls off both sides of the bed at the same time

Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she uses Old Spice for cooking

Your mothers so fat, she was baptized at Sea World

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer

Yo momma so big that she sat on a rainbow and got Skittles

[Shsm]

Your mothers so fat, she was baptized at Sea World

Yo mama is so stupid that she ordered her sushi well done

[Shsm]

Yo momma so big that she sat on a rainbow and got Skittles

Yo mama is so stupid that she wiped her ass before she took a shit

[Shsm]

Your mom's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar

Yo mama is so stupid that she put a peephole in a glass door

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she ordered her sushi well done

Yo mama so fat, her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

[Shsm]

Yo momma so big that she sat on a rainbow and got Skittles

Yo mama is so stupid that she tries to insult you with yo mama jokes

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she wiped her ass before she took a shit

Yo mama so fat, she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

[Shsm]

Yo mama so fat, her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama is so stupid that if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she tries to insult you with yo mama jokes

Yo mama so ugly, she went into an hunted house and came out with an application

[Shsm]

Yo mama so ugly, she went into an haunted house and came out with an application

Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless

Yo mama so slutty, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo

Yo mama so poor, her face is on the front of a food stamp.

[Shsm]

Yo mama so poor, her face is on the front of a food stamp.

Yo mama is so nasty that her shit is glad to escape

[Shsm]

Yo mama so slutty, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!

Yo mama is so nasty that even dogs won't sniff her crotch

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo

Yo mama so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

[Shsm]

Yo mama so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so nasty that even dogs won't sniff her crotch

Yo mama so ugly, her momma had to be drunk to breast feed her

[Times Roman]

Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on

Your mothers so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again

[Shsm]

Shit, I have to take a shower and get ready for bed. You win the battle, but the war is not over, TR.

[Times Roman]

Shit, I have to take a shower and get ready for bed. You win the battle, but the war is not over, TR.

Yo momma so ugly, she walked into Taco Bell and everyone ran for the border.

Sounds good mate!

ttys

---Roman

[Times Roman]

An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall an old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way.

Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross the center line back there." "Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way.

She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again he jumps out. This time, he's stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, "Oh no...... not the Breathalyzer again!"

[Times Roman]

Once there was a old bloke named Times Roman sitting on a bench in the park crying. A younger man walked up to him and asked "What's wrong?" The old bull replied "I am married to a sexy 21 year old woman who gives me two blowjobs a day and we have sex the minute I get home from work and right after dinner." The young man had a strange look on his face and asked "What's so bad about that? It sounds to me like you have a great sex life." Then TR replied "I can't remember where I live!"

[lovbyts]

Shit, I have to take a shower and get ready for bed. You win the battle, but the war is not over, TR.

You win just because of your AV.

[Times Roman]

oh yeah? here's another one I thought you'd think was funny......

George was planning on going out with "The Boys" when his wife told him that he wasn't leaving the house.

George's Wife: "The last time you went out with your friends you got so drunk that you puked on your shirt."

George: "But Honey, I promise that I wont drink a drop of alcohol all night!"

So after begging his old lady for an hour, George got the OK the go out with the guys as long as he stayed off of the booze.

George met up with the guys at a local bar and proceeded to get shit-faced. After about 3 hours of guzzling liquor, George blew chow all over his shirt.

George: "Shit! The old lady is going to throw my ass out of the house for getting drunk and puking on my new shirt!"

Bill, George's best pal, gave drunk ass George an idea of how to keep from getting in trouble with the wife.

Bill: "All you got to do is have a $20 bill in your hand when you walk through the door. Then, when she accuses you of barfing all over yourself, just tell her that some other drunk puked on you and that he gave you 20 bucks to get the shirt cleaned."

So, when drunk ass George walked into the house with money in hand, his wife was waiting for him in the living room.

Georges wife: "I knew that your drunk ass would spew bile and booze all over that new shirt!"

George: "Honey, let me explain! This drunken fool at the bar puked on me and gave me 20 bucks to have it cleaned."

His wife snatched the money out of his hand and observed that he was holding two $20 bills.

George's wife: "Is that so? Then where did the other 20 dollar bill come from?"

George: "Oh, That's from the guy who shit in my pants."

[Times Roman]

A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts."

The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground are placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook supper. The second man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!" They yell back, "We're not screwing!"

A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again the second man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!" Again they yell back, "We're not screwing!" Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to patch leaks. Once again the second man yells down, "Hey, I said no screwing!" They yell back, "We're not screwing!"

Eventually the shift is over and the second man climbs down from the tower to be replaced by the husband. He's not even halfway up before the wife and her new friend are hard at it. The husband looks out from the tower and says, "Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like they're screwing.

[Times Roman]

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut goes into his ear. He tries to get it out, but succeeds only in forcing the thing in awfully
deep.

After a few hours of fruitless rooting the couple decide to go to the hospital, but on their way out of the front door they meet their daughter coming in with her boyfriend.

The boyfriend takes control of the situation; he tells them he's studying medicine and that they're not to worry about a thing. He then sticks two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow, and low and behold, the nut shoots from the ear and out across the room.

As the daughter and her boyfriend go through to the kitchen to get drinks, the man and his wife sit down to discuss their luck. "So" the wife says, "what do you think he'll become after he finishes school? A GP or a surgeon?"

"Well says the man, rubbing his nose, "by the smell of his fingers, I think he's likely to be our son-in-law."