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Thread: Chuck Norris Facts

  1. 03-02-2013, 01:39 PM #41
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    In efforts to end WWII, the US government experimented in creating 2 weapons of mass destruction, the Atom bomb or the Chuck Norris roundhouse... they made the humane choice
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  2. 03-02-2013, 01:40 PM #42
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    Once, Chuck Norris made a Happy meal cry
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  3. 03-02-2013, 01:41 PM #43
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    The Theory of evolution is non-exsistant, only the animals that Chuck Norris has decided may stay alive
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  4. 03-02-2013, 01:41 PM #44
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    Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, he decides what time it is
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  5. 03-02-2013, 01:42 PM #45
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    Chuck Norris' hands can beat a royal flush
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  6. 03-02-2013, 01:43 PM #46
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    Interesting fact: The Original title for Aliens VS Predators was Aliens & Predators VS Chuck Norris

    The movie was scrapped as the studios did not think anyone would pay to watch a 9 second movie
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  7. 03-02-2013, 01:45 PM #47
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    When stranded in the North Pole, Chuck Norris started a fire by rubbing together 2 ice cubes
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  8. 03-02-2013, 01:46 PM #48
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    Chuck Norris can never have a heart attack, his heart is not dumb enough to attack him
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  9. 03-02-2013, 01:46 PM #49
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    Chuck Norris can end a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves
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  10. 03-02-2013, 01:47 PM #50
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    One time a cop pulled over Chuck Norris... the cop was lucky to leave with just a warning
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  11. 03-02-2013, 02:39 PM #51
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    Building up your post count KP

    Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands
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  12. 03-02-2013, 03:06 PM #52
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    Chuck Norris can post porn in the off topic lounge without getting banned

    Chuck Norris doesn't take aas. He just itches his ball sack to stimulate more test production.
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  13. 03-02-2013, 03:14 PM #53
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    This thread is hilarious!
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  14. 03-02-2013, 03:23 PM #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capebuffalo
    Curious if anyone had any unknown facts about Chuck Norris. For example

    Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

    Or

    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.



    Chuck was bit by a rattle snake, and after six long days of pain the snake died.
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  15. 03-02-2013, 03:57 PM #55
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    Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fvck he wants.
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  16. 03-02-2013, 05:32 PM #56
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    Chuck Norris use's 10 grams of Test per week with no AI; estrogen doesn't dare fvck with him.
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  17. 03-02-2013, 05:53 PM #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capebuffalo View Post
    If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
    Quote Originally Posted by Capebuffalo View Post
    Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fvck Chuck Norris is.
    these got me. Thank you Cape. I really need a laugh.
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  18. 03-02-2013, 06:02 PM #58
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    The cure for cancer and aids can be found in Chuck Norris's sweat. Science is still waiting for him to perspire for the first time, his sweat stays hidden due to fear.
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  19. 03-02-2013, 06:05 PM #59
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    Chuck Norris is 1/64th extraterrestrial. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fvcking alien.
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  20. 03-02-2013, 06:07 PM #60
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    Crop circles are from Chuck Norris' telling corn it needs to lie the f*ck down.
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  21. 03-02-2013, 06:08 PM #61
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    Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.
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  22. 03-02-2013, 06:11 PM #62
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    When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette, drinks an entire case of beer, and then roundhouse kicks his target in the face.
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  23. 03-02-2013, 06:12 PM #63
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    The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
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  24. 03-02-2013, 06:13 PM #64
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    The moon was actually a giant metor headed toward earth that Chuck Norris told to stop and chill the fvck out.
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  25. 03-02-2013, 06:16 PM #65
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    Chuck noris' tears cure cancer... Too bad he'll never cry!
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  26. 03-02-2013, 06:17 PM #66
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    Chuck noris once flushed a condom down the toilet... 6 weeks later the ninja turtles were born
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  27. 03-02-2013, 06:18 PM #67
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    Chuck noris survived an abortion. When he was born the doctor slapped his ass, and was then round house kicked in the throat. He died of his injuries.
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  28. 03-02-2013, 06:21 PM #68
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    Chuck on Chuck..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5GCyNQBwpU
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  29. 03-02-2013, 06:21 PM #69
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    When chuck noris was conceived, his father was wearing a condom... He roundhouse kicked right thru it, made it first to the egg, but disnt go inside. He had a 5 minute fight scene in which time he killed 5 million other sperm, and then entered
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  30. 03-02-2013, 06:23 PM #70
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    Under chucks beard, is a third fist
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  31. 03-02-2013, 06:24 PM #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by jasc View Post
    Chuck Norris use's 10 grams of Test per week with no AI; estrogen doesn't dare fvck with him.
    Thats good..lol
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  32. 03-02-2013, 07:17 PM #72
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    Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
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  33. 03-02-2013, 07:18 PM #73
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    Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.
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  34. 03-02-2013, 07:20 PM #74
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    Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fvcks up.
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  35. 03-02-2013, 07:57 PM #75
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrHmcpRAZNs
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  36. 03-02-2013, 08:01 PM #76
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    Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
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  37. 03-02-2013, 08:02 PM #77
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    Fire escapes were invented to save fire when Chuck Norris enters a building
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  38. 03-02-2013, 08:02 PM #78
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    Chuck Norris was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Chuck Norris."
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  39. 03-02-2013, 08:03 PM #79
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    On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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  40. 03-02-2013, 08:03 PM #80
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    Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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