I know it's getting old but i will get straightened out.

**stpete** · 06-11-2013, 07:46 PM

Literally just found out that i have to move due to the owner coming home early. Asshole gave me no notice except to be out by weekend.
ok, I'll find something but i'm thinking about asking this chick Hannah. She's already mentioned she lives off inheritance and has a nice house. Plus, she lives alone. Which makes it nice as i don't have to see all the romantic shit all the time.

But i have mixed feelings cause she's an AA friend.

What do you guys think?

Is there anything wrong w/it? I never read anywhere that we couldn't?

**austinite** · 06-11-2013, 07:51 PM

Sucks man. Sorry you have to deal with that. At the end of the day, I'd just do what I needed to have a roof over my head. Stay strong and the AA connection shouldn't be an issue. Just remind yourself it's only temporary.

**Java Man** · 06-11-2013, 08:21 PM

Aside from the possible AA conflict which I don't know anything about, that sounds like a damned good opportunity to me. I agree w/austinite. I've been in that position a few times (suddenly no place to live). You have to have a roof over your head. Shit goes downhill real fast once that goes.

**SexySweetheart** · 06-11-2013, 08:21 PM

well thats a scary thing with no notice
as long as your set on sobriety path it should work out but could still be an unnecessary challenge.
never mind the whole opposite sex as room mate, if her sobriety is new you might encounter situations that make you uneasy to watch or find her friends challenging, but it beats paying for a hotel/motel untll getting a place.
Good luck and hope things fall into place swiftly for you

**stpete** · 06-11-2013, 08:27 PM

Yeah, my heads up. Work helps a lot but takes up a lot of time.

"The weak fail and the strong survive." That's about the only thing keepng me going. I refuse to be weak but damn...haha....How much is a man to deal with?

Here's how bad it is, i actually look at doughnuts for breakfast instead of making my regular eggs, oats and toast. Ireally don't think i could eat all that in the morning anymore.

AA is strong about no relations outside the group. And i really don't know why. It seems we would be helping each other? But then again, AA has some messed up thoughts imo.

**stpete** · 06-11-2013, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart

well thats a scary thing with no notice
as long as your set on sobriety path it should work out but could still be an unnecessary challenge.
never mind the whole opposite sex as room mate, if her sobriety is new you might encounter situations that make you uneasy to watch or find her friends challenging, but it beats paying for a hotel/motel untll getting a place.
Good luck and hope things fall into place swiftly for you

Yeah, i feel the same way.

Thank you!

**stpete** · 06-11-2013, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by Java Man

Aside from the possible AA conflict which I don't know anything about, that sounds like a damned good opportunity to me. I agree w/austinite. I've been in that position a few times (suddenly no place to live). You have to have a roof over your head. Shit goes downhill real fast once that goes.

It is a good deal and i'm talking to her tomorrow. I have to live somewhere and she lives in a nice area. She's younger but cool and funny. I'll check it out then and keep you posted.

**Lunk1** · 06-11-2013, 08:47 PM

Not a good idea if you have hopes to work things out in your relationship...

**kelkel** · 06-11-2013, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Not a good idea if you have hopes to work things out in your relationship...

Good point. Probably go over like a lead balloon stpete!

**chi** · 06-11-2013, 08:59 PM

man talk about a rock and a hard place......Well if you want to work out things in another relationship then moving in with another women is suicide but then again you need a place to live and if that other person isn't offering assistance then you have to man up and do what needs to be done. Not too much time to think about this either. I say move in temporarily and see how it goes until you are able to get on your feet and find another arrangement.

**Java Man** · 06-11-2013, 09:14 PM

Definitely not a good position to be in. Any other options for a temporary place to live stpete? I'm not trying to be crafty with word play on the AA rules but isn't living with someone who is also in the group still keeping things within the group? Or does that mean once everyone leaves the meeting they have no outside contact until the next meeting? What does your sponsor say about this situation?

**stpete** · 06-11-2013, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by Lunk1

Not a good idea if you have hopes to work things out in your relationship...

You know more than most and you're probably right. But shit, gotta do something.

Originally Posted by kelkel

Good point. Probably go over like a lead balloon stpete!

Probably so but i don't have the cash on such short notice to do anything else. Plus, she a cool girl that i'm sure will give me my space. She's kinda young for me anyway.And my wife wants me away for a year to "get straightened out" whatever that means.

Originally Posted by chi

man talk about a rock and a hard place......Well if you want to work out things in another relationship then moving in with another women is suicide but then again you need a place to live and if that other person isn't offering assistance then you have to man up and do what needs to be done. Not too much time to think about this either. I say move in temporarily and see how it goes until you are able to get on your feet and find another arrangement.

I agree. Could be suicide. We'll see. Thanks. Shit i stopped wearing my ring today after i asked her if she could send me a pic of hers while she was going out, and she told me no.

Originally Posted by Java Man

Definitely not a good position to be in. Any other options for a temporary place to live stpete? I'm not trying to be crafty with word play on the AA rules but isn't living with someone who is also in the group still keeping things within the group? Or does that mean once everyone leaves the meeting they have no outside contact until the next meeting? What does your sponsor say about this situation?

We can have breakfast or lunch as a group but as a "one on one" basis it's frowned upon. I don't care though. I look at it as support.

**Rwy** · 06-11-2013, 11:19 PM

Right now your sobreity is the most important issue. Its hard to keep every one happy but you are truly the only person that counts right now. Do what helps you stay sober.

I guess outside the meeting its looked at as two people could be saying well its ok if we just do it once or something along those lines.

**Java Man** · 06-12-2013, 12:49 AM

have to do what you have to do. If they frown on it but won't boot you from the group I'd do it. Short term plan, they have to understand the situation being what if is. AA counselors aren't strangers to hardship I'm sure but I'm going on friends experiences. I'm also no relationship expert. I don't trust women past a certain line. I (and my kid) were victimized by a heartless cvmt and I spent the past 16 years keeping my daughter in my life through courts in different states. That's very expensive in money and on emotions, especially for children caught in the middle. I haven't been in a relationship lasting more than a few months since. I walk when she gets too close. Another story though lol sorry.

Point is I'm not thinking of the relationship aspect. She's not there for you at this moment, you need a home asap. Simple as that right now. I guess I live in the moment.

**Times Roman** · 06-12-2013, 05:42 AM

Is she cute?

**crazy mike** · 06-12-2013, 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

Is she cute?

Sorry TR hope you are joking. Pete don't go there with that one.
As far as AA they can be Fvcked up and what they say doesn't apply to EVERYONE. Amount of time clean is something to consider. Remember on this subject you must think about her sobriety. If you want to be the man you want to be, think of her. Reason is it's proven that young in AA you tend to be flighty very emotional beyond sound thinking. After all it was our not so good thinking that we thought we could handle all the drinking.
Don't want to belabor the AA issue, but I've seen it not to be good. I know you need a place NOW so if you can, move for a few, a month or so. Get your head on and make a plan to move quickly.
Besides you agree not good for the wife situation, not good at all.
Remember, if she should come on to you, what if, what would you do...be cool and honest. Be honest with yourself.
That's all I'll say, I don't think you care for any of my AA advise but there it is, not good Idea. By the way 1 yr 7 months and 3 days for me, but who's counting right ? I don't go to meeting much anymore. My obsession is gone, I'm obsessed with the time. It's time to get big, ...crazy mike

**Zodiac82** · 06-12-2013, 09:17 AM

Stpete ....doesn't he have to give 30 days notice so u can have time to find somewhere? hope all goes well

-Release the Kracken!!!-

**canesfan804** · 06-12-2013, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by cancer82

Stpete ....doesn't he have to give 30 days notice so u can have time to find somewhere? hope all goes well

-Release the Kracken!!!-

I believe you are right Sir! It may even be 60-90 days but I am almost certain 30 is a minimum. Now I would try to get out as soon as possible just to keep the extra tension to a minimum since you are just coming clean and sober. As for moving in with another lady while trying to get back with the ex... a friend of mine did this and it took about 2 months but hi ex started keeping track of his and was kinda jealous (in a good way if possible) that he was having a good time getting his life together. Now a few months later they are back together. Guess that all depends on your ex and her personality. Godd luck with all the things man.

**< <Samson> >** · 06-12-2013, 02:35 PM

Ouch, big bro. . . I would say no, but it's not just that cut and dry.

GL < Apparently we both need it.

**crazy mike** · 06-12-2013, 03:01 PM

The reality of time and notice comes down to making your homestead. If a person . lease or no lease has made a place his/her home with their belongings and staying there as their home temp or for the purpose of indefinitely the person, owner or lease holder has to go through EVICTION proceedings to get someone out . . There are laws that differ concerning evictions and they will apply where and when. But it is simple no one can lock you out , shut the electric, turn the water of, and or haul you and your belongings off and out except the sheriff. The will do so according to the eviction procedure. That's a fact . ...crazy mike

**chi** · 06-12-2013, 03:16 PM

look up the landlord tenant ordinances in your local village or town. They can give you an idea on how long you legally have to vacate on short notice.