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Thread: Ethically non monogamous? (Lady troubles)

  1. #1
    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Ethically non monogamous? (Lady troubles)

    So I've been dating these 2 girls for about a month while

    Girl 1 wanted to be exclusive last Sunday, I said yes and told girl 2 I couldn't see her anymore. 2 days later, girl 1 asked about my past (drug addiction). I didn't want any secrets moving forward so I told her about the PEDs also. When I told her, she freaked out, we got in a fight and broke up. We have nothing in common, but we get along great when we are together and she makes me feel really good.

    I call girl 2 the next day and set up a date. She is awesome, low maintenance, more attractive, we have a lot in common.

    2 days later girl 1 calls, apologizes, and I forgive her because I'm a pushover when it comes to women. I tell her we are back to being casual though

    So I'm good. Back to casually dating 2 women, no moral dilemma.
    For some reason, over about a week, girl 1 assumes we are exclusive (not that I corrected her, but I also never agreed). And girl 2 is starting to ask about going exclusive too.

    So, I like girl 1 more. But once the new relationship thing dies down I'm pretty sure I won't be able to stand her. And girl 2 makes way more sense. But if it comes down to choosing, girl 2 will lose and get hurt (which I don't want, because she's great).

    Suggestions? And mind you, I want to hear, "it's girl 1s fault she assumes you're exclusive there's no need to correct her. Keep dating both of them and string girl 2 along with promises of it eventually becoming exclusive"

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    I made this decision between 2 ladies ten,years ago. As my current girls screaming at me about something stupid or,complaining about bills I daydream about what it might be like if I didnt have a conscience and played the field. I say wait as long as possible girl 1 sounds like a cunt anyway shell,prob get mad about something at some point and suck another bros dick all drunk one night cuz you kept using Peds or didn't fold the towels right or something.

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    IMO, if you don't know the answer yourself, you need to keep dating both of them.

    Personally, girl #1 has a ding against her right now for freaking out, but on the other hand, I wouldn't go exclusive with either one until I knew and semi-understood their personalities.
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer View Post
    So I've been dating these 2 girls for about a month while

    Girl 1 wanted to be exclusive last Sunday, I said yes and told girl 2 I couldn't see her anymore. 2 days later, girl 1 asked about my past (drug addiction). I didn't want any secrets moving forward so I told her about the PEDs also. When I told her, she freaked out, we got in a fight and broke up. We have nothing in common, but we get along great when we are together and she makes me feel really good.

    I call girl 2 the next day and set up a date. She is awesome, low maintenance, more attractive, we have a lot in common.

    2 days later girl 1 calls, apologizes, and I forgive her because I'm a pushover when it comes to women. I tell her we are back to being casual though

    So I'm good. Back to casually dating 2 women, no moral dilemma.
    For some reason, over about a week, girl 1 assumes we are exclusive (not that I corrected her, but I also never agreed). And girl 2 is starting to ask about going exclusive too.

    So, I like girl 1 more. But once the new relationship thing dies down I'm pretty sure I won't be able to stand her. And girl 2 makes way more sense. But if it comes down to choosing, girl 2 will lose and get hurt (which I don't want, because she's great).

    Suggestions? And mind you, I want to hear, "it's girl 1s fault she assumes you're exclusive there's no need to correct her. Keep dating both of them and string girl 2 along with promises of it eventually becoming exclusive"

    Sent from my LG-LS993 using Tapatalk
    From a gals perspective....

    Q1. Are u looking for and ready for a deeper relationship with one girl?

    Q2. Do u thrive on drama?

    If A to Q1 is Y then Girl 2
    If A to Q2 is Y then Girl 1

    If choose Girl 1 are morally obligated IMHO to break off with G2 since she is asking to be exclusive. Otherwise u are being reckless with her and she (no one) deserves that!

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  6. #6
    Windex is offline Staff ~ HRT Optimization Specialist
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    Does Girl 2 know about gear? Since girl 1 knows about gear now, she might use that over your head for every future argument.
    I no longer check my inbox. If you PM me I will not reply.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windex View Post
    Does Girl 2 know about gear? Since girl 1 knows about gear now, she might use that over your head for every future argument.
    Why would disclose gear use when dating casually?

  8. #8
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    Pitch girl #1

    If you fight in the preliminary stages you damn sure dont want to start a relationship with them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post
    Why would disclose gear use when dating casually?
    On this note.

    My .02 would be that perhaps by disclosing something secret and more personal, it might “suggest” that you are thinking that the relationship is more serious than you had intended.

    But as was said already, honesty trumps all.
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    Wifee says introduce them to each other!

    Built that 3-some ;-)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Duffer View Post
    Wifee says introduce them to each other!

    Built that 3-some ;-)


    She’s a keeper!
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  12. #12
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    And that's why we've been married 35 years!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Duffer View Post
    And that's why we've been married 35 years!
    Congratulations!!!!

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    Proximal is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Duffer View Post
    And that's why we've been married 35 years!
    Congrats Duff, same here! Greatest thing that ever happened in my life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proximal View Post
    Congrats Duff, same here! Greatest thing that ever happened in my life.
    Marriage or three some

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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post
    Marriage or three some
    Yes!
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post
    Marriage or three some
    TY for that laugh! Just the marriage for me.
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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Duffer View Post
    Wifee says introduce them to each other!

    Built that 3-some ;-)
    Braggart
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obs View Post
    Braggart
    Yes again!
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  20. #20
    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post
    From a gals perspective....

    Q1. Are u looking for and ready for a deeper relationship with one girl?

    Q2. Do u thrive on drama?

    If A to Q1 is Y then Girl 2
    If A to Q2 is Y then Girl 1

    If choose Girl 1 are morally obligated IMHO to break off with G2 since she is asking to be exclusive. Otherwise u are being reckless with her and she (no one) deserves that!
    Q1 yes Q2 no
    My problem is, I am way more attached to g1, but g2 makes more sense

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  21. #21
    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cylon357 View Post
    Deal straight with everyone. That means be honest, not mean spirited. Girl 1 thinks you are becoming exclusive? You need to correct that thinking. Explain yourself politely. She may decide to break it off at that point.

    I can't stress the importance of being honest enough. Technically, not correcting thinking isn't quite the same as active deception, but a mouse could starve on the difference. At this point you are basically saying, "hey, I didn't lie to you, I just let you keep on thinking things I knew were wrong and would lead to heartache."

    In short, man up. No harsh meant, I'm just cutting to the chase.

    And though you talk up Girl 1 a bit more, and even say if it comes down to choosing, Girl 2 will lose, it sounds to me like you like Girl 2 better and think she is a better choice.

    You probably ought to decide which lady you really like more and want to be with exclusively. You might decide Girl 1, Girl 2 or neither.
    Yeah.... G1 will be completely devistated..... She's not very rational either so there's no chance it goes well. I made it clear that we were casual, then she just decided to ignore that a week later.

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  22. #22
    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windex View Post
    Does Girl 2 know about gear? Since girl 1 knows about gear now, she might use that over your head for every future argument.
    No, but she is really cool. I'm not going to make the same mistake and tell her anytime soon, but I am confident if I did it would go over without any problems

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  23. #23
    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Duffer View Post
    Wifee says introduce them to each other!

    Built that 3-some ;-)
    I tried! Or tried to feel out the situation. Got shut down quickly

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  24. #24
    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    More important info:
    G2 is GREAT in bed. And can almost keep up with me, which is very rare
    BUT g1 will let me do anything I want....


    You know.... I talk shit/posture. But what it comes down to, I know g2 is by far the right choice. But I feel like I'm 16 again w g1, talk on the phone for 2 hours straight at night (and I get bored holding a conversation with people after 3 minutes normally). I like her a lot.... I can't bring myself to break it off even though I know once the "honey moon" phase is over, it will be miserable and we won't be able to stand each other. I'm thinking try and keep g2 around long enough to hit that point, which will make it easier to break it off with g1. But the issue is correcting her on the fact we are not exclusive in the mean time.... Sounds like a very unpleasant experience

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  25. #25
    < <Samson> >'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post
    Marriage or three some

    I live it, atm it’s not all it’s cracked up to be

    “Us” the juicer community sure seems to have serious issues with nothing even close to normal being enough


    Just looking at the shit I do now - how do I come up with this shit - but, amazingly enough it seems to find me


    I know as soon as I recover here - it’s on x10



    And, at times I do ask myself “what if I took the blue pill”
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  26. #26
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    such an easy solution.

    you need to add girl #3

    if you cant decide, then keep looking.

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer View Post
    More important info:
    G2 is GREAT in bed. And can almost keep up with me, which is very rare
    BUT g1 will let me do anything I want....


    You know.... I talk shit/posture. But what it comes down to, I know g2 is by far the right choice. But I feel like I'm 16 again w g1, talk on the phone for 2 hours straight at night (and I get bored holding a conversation with people after 3 minutes normally). I like her a lot.... I can't bring myself to break it off even though I know once the "honey moon" phase is over, it will be miserable and we won't be able to stand each other. I'm thinking try and keep g2 around long enough to hit that point, which will make it easier to break it off with g1. But the issue is correcting her on the fact we are not exclusive in the mean time.... Sounds like a very unpleasant experience

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    You sealed it...
    Girl 1 is your future ex wife.
    Knock her up immediately

  28. #28
    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obs View Post
    You sealed it...
    Girl 1 is your future ex wife.
    Knock her up immediately
    LMAO, it's funny cuz it's true

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    Quote Originally Posted by Obs View Post
    You sealed it...
    Girl 1 is your future ex wife.
    Knock her up immediately
    Obs wins the internet. Again.
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  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mooseman33 View Post
    such an easy solution.

    you need to add girl #3

    if you cant decide, then keep looking.
    Damn Skippy! Sometimes you gotta think out of the box
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  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by cylon357 View Post
    That raises a question I hadn't even thought about. I'm guessing that you are not on doctor prescribed TRT which TECHNICALLY makes you an illegal drug user.
    just to point this out.
    this is not necessarily true , its dependent on where he lives.. in the 'not so free' USA its true. but if he lived in a bunch of other countries where its perfectly legal to purchase and use Test then the statement is not true at all.
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  32. #32
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    Maybe G1 doesn’t want to hear u aren’t exclusive? Could G1 be playing u?

    How old is G1? G2?

    What’s the income gap between u and G1? G2?
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  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer View Post
    Q1 yes Q2 no
    My problem is, I am way more attached to g1, but g2 makes more sense

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    So you r playing with G1 and know it’s fire.

    And u really don’t care about G2 since with both.

    Obs is right. Future ex with kid!

    Or G3 is the answer!!
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  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post

    What’s the income gap between u and G1? G2?
    Yes!
    Now we have true female insight lol!
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  35. #35
    < <Samson> >'s Avatar
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    I don’t know if this has been mentioned, but in all reality - income gap or not - who’s best at sword swallowing. . . I mean for real, just that alone would make one a keeper
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  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by < <Samson> > View Post
    I don’t know if this has been mentioned, but in all reality - income gap or not - who’s best at sword swallowing. . . I mean for real, just that alone would make one a keeper
    Lmao!
    Idk...
    Ex was a professional CS.
    That wasn't worth but maybe one decade of my time.

  37. #37
    HoldMyBeer is offline Productive Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post
    Maybe G1 doesn’t want to hear u aren’t exclusive? Could G1 be playing u?

    How old is G1? G2?

    What’s the income gap between u and G1? G2?
    They're both about a year older than me. They have good careers, advanced degrees, and make about the same amount of money.

    Edit: I miss read that. I do not have any income until the end of the year. So the gap is large ...

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    Last edited by HoldMyBeer; 03-19-2019 at 07:32 AM.
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  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlyGymRat View Post
    So you r playing with G1 and know it’s fire.

    And u really don’t care about G2 since with both.

    Obs is right. Future ex with kid!

    Or G3 is the answer!!
    Lol I had a g3, but it was too time consuming and expensive so I cut it down to just g2, then g1 apologized and I took her back. Now I am in this situation.
    Damn my kind-heartedness!

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  39. #39
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    Good guys finish last. Dump them both and keep fishing while doing catch and release. When you find the right one you will know, nothing you have said makes me believe that you are head over heals in love with any one girl and are ready to take the marriage plunge. Take this advise from someone who got married at 19 and 39 years later is still with her. Hummm must be our secret lifestyle!!!! or her amazing tits, or is it her CS abilities or the fact that I can do what I want with her in bed????? Or is it that we enjoy being together?
    Play the field my friend and enjoy youth while you have it!
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  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Obs View Post
    Yes!
    Now we have true female insight lol!
    ...establishing playing field!!! Lol
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