Brothers and sisters

[SampsonandDelilah]

I’ve been on exile for about 5 months getting right with myself. Wanted to say hello, send out my appreciation for my PM’s and the well wishes that were awaiting me after logging back in for the first time in months.

As many of you know I dealt with colo-rectal cancer in 2020 and endured 4 months of chemo and 35 rounds of radiation.

Well I’ll be damned if I didn’t pop hot at a scan in March and have been doing immuno therapy since then. I finally finished last week, just in time to celebrate this weekend.

My last scan looked great but September will be telling. Although treatments were brutal, I was able to lift and stay on my TRT dose.

The big problem for me and why I decided to put my phone down for a bit was getting off of the pain medication. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was taking oxy, fentanyl, hydro-morphone, and Vicodin. Who knew fighting cancer would turn me into a drug addict?! Well I’m happy to say I’m down to just Vicodin and seeing a pro at the hospital to help me to the finish line.

That being said, it was hard to be on here and seeing people take their bodies to the limits when the one that had served me so well was fucking failing me. I still get compliments all the time on my physique and am still pushing heavy weights but in my mind I was small and unworthy and felt like a failure. I just had a really bad self image and I was really circling the drain by coming on here, having a pity potty for myself and then self medicating. Feeling so happy for other’s successes but feeling so poorly about my own failures.

The irony is that the first two months of 2020 I was in the best shape of my life and by far the strongest. Then life happened…

Any how, that’s my shit. Take it or leave it

Again, wanted to express my appreciation for this place and lend some understanding to why I went ghost mode.

Life is short and nothing is guaranteed. Appreciate every moment.

I hope you’re all happy and healthy and I look forward to beginning my climb upwards again, albeit with a new sense of purpose.

I’ll be getting over to the Q&A forums here shortly, I mean it is a fucking steroid forum…right?!

Best!

S&D

[Test Monsterone]

A nice 4th of July surprise! Welcome back, brother. We were worried about you. Seems like you went through some shit, but I'm glad you're on the come up. I understand why you had to take some time away to focus on yourself and your family. I think many of us understand the self-criticism and never ending quest for perfection that you're alluding to. It can be destructive. But on here, we love S&D for more than just his sick physique, but for his wisdom, knowledge, and experience. You have come back with more experience and a new outlook. That's good man. I appreciate you coming back letting us know the deal. You could have just disappeared forever.

[paulzane]

Wow ....some of us just take things for granted when there is so much hurt and pain around us! Plenty of guys on here going through a lot of shit in their lives. I wish you well and have a speedy recovery and well done for getting to where you have!!!!!

[< <Samson> >]

Fucking health

It really has no limits on who, what or where it will strike(or stroke, lol)

What a mother fucker, your 2020 sounds about parallel to mine

We all know that shit could just happen, but when it does - it’s a true “what the fuck”


Considering your health situation, you’re doing well - for whatever the fuck that’s worth

[almostgone]

I’ve been on exile for about 5 months getting right with myself. Wanted to say hello, send out my appreciation for my PM’s and the well wishes that were awaiting me after logging back in for the first time in months.

As many of you know I dealt with colo-rectal cancer in 2020 and endured 4 months of chemo and 35 rounds of radiation.

Well I’ll be damned if I didn’t pop hot at a scan in March and have been doing immuno therapy since then. I finally finished last week, just in time to celebrate this weekend.

My last scan looked great but September will be telling. Although treatments were brutal, I was able to lift and stay on my TRT dose.

The big problem for me and why I decided to put my phone down for a bit was getting off of the pain medication. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was taking oxy, fentanyl, hydro-morphone, and Vicodin. Who knew fighting cancer would turn me into a drug addict?! Well I’m happy to say I’m down to just Vicodin and seeing a pro at the hospital to help me to the finish line.

That being said, it was hard to be on here and seeing people take their bodies to the limits when the one that had served me so well was fucking failing me. I still get compliments all the time on my physique and am still pushing heavy weights but in my mind I was small and unworthy and felt like a failure. I just had a really bad self image and I was really circling the drain by coming on here, having a pity potty for myself and then self medicating. Feeling so happy for other’s successes but feeling so poorly about my own failures.

The irony is that the first two months of 2020 I was in the best shape of my life and by far the strongest. Then life happened…

Any how, that’s my shit. Take it or leave it

Again, wanted to express my appreciation for this place and lend some understanding to why I went ghost mode.

Life is short and nothing is guaranteed. Appreciate every moment.

I hope you’re all happy and healthy and I look forward to beginning my climb upwards again, albeit with a new sense of purpose.

I’ll be getting over to the Q&A forums here shortly, I mean it is a fucking steroid forum…right?!

Best!

S&D

Dude....I have been combing my Wickr address book and email addys because I was sure we had exchanged contact information in the past!!

So glad to see you back online and updating us!!

[warchild]

Thanks for the update! Hope the rest of your year is great and this will be just a bump in life's road that you overcome!

[SampsonandDelilah]

Appreciate you all so much!

The kind words and sentiment mean so much. I was nervous about resurfacing, lol. Put that fear to bed, keep owning my shit and life goes on.

It’s cathartic and therapeutic to have a place like this to air your issues. It’s a brotherhood with a splash of anonymity but I can tell you the camaraderie I’ve always encountered here is every bit as good as the support I receive in my day to day world.

Feels good to be back on, but quite sure I’m the proverbial Phoenix yet, but I’m on my way boys!!

[Cuz]

Quite refreshing to see you back. Wow, prayers buddy. You got this shit!

[Richard Head]

Glad to see you back. Sorry about the problems but keep kicking ass, you have people counting on you. Keep the faith brother.

[charger69]

Hey man , you got this.
You are such an inspiration for the rest of us here.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Honkey_Kong]

Bro, you should never feel nervous about coming here. Glad you're back and doing better.

[Chark]

S&D, no one here would think you're throwing a pity party sharing your struggle. All we see is you being REAL...this stuff is real life man. I too have struggled with drug addiction issues in my life, the gym keeps myself out of trouble. Nobody thinks you're weak for getting addicted to pain meds that you were on for fucking cancer. Those drugs can tear ANYONE apart, even someone as mentally strong as you. If you ever want to talk, please reach out. I hope speaking up felt cathartic and reminded you there is a lot of support for you here. There was even a thread started wondering if anyone had seen or talked to you. Like HK concisely put it, you should never feel nervous about coming here. We have your back. There's a lot of love in this thread. Thrilled to see you're OK and happy you're back brother.

[XnavyHMCS]

S & D, welcome back.

Keep kicking it in the ass, brother. You got this.

What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.

[< <Samson> >]

As far as the pain meds - well, I just snapped out of almost a week long funk that started when the clouds rolled in - I just had a feeling of a good whack of a 4x4 on the opposite side of where my procedure was done.

I been eating Tylenols daily & the neighbor I have who had the shoulder surgery gave me his Oxy’s - I ate half of em the 1st day

Needing the meds sure fuels an addiction in a whole another way

Let alone my antipsychotics - which I am now prescribed. . . I take way more than prescribed, but unfortunately I can’t relay that info to my MD due to me still having a CDL, which I am looking to keep.

Medical necessity & addiction < what a mother fucker. . . I truly try my best not to abuse meds, but when I physically need em, well

On the positive end, yesterday was 4th of July - this is my 1st year being clean off the harshest of drugs(that I never really mentioned on here)

So - bitter sweet I suppose, for me at least


Just do your best - wtf, else can we do

[SampsonandDelilah]

Trying not to get sappy, but I’m floored by all of the kind words. I’m not surprised though because that’s just the type of environment this place is.

I was getting all nostalgic yesterday thinking about what this board had meant to me over the years.

I came on here after a brutal shoulder surgery in 2008 for advice on strength training and running my first test cycle. Learned about dieting and and lifting programs.

Announced my first kid on here in 2010 after taking HCG while on cycle.

Was here when I announced I had cancer and really utilized this platform to keep my sanity and now being able to share my struggles with healing is just wild.

It’s been almost a decade and a half of growing and learning here and forming some really unique friendships over the years. Kind of crazy when you think about it, this place has given me so much.

I really am grateful for all of the kind words and sentiments and so many of my favorite brothers are in here welcoming me back…judgement free.

I can’t express my gratitude enough.

I even shared this thread with my wife yesterday, and for a second I think she actually got it. That I’m itself is a miracle. lol

What a community man, pretty fucking cool

[Mooseman33]

so happy to see these posts. This last year has taught us all something I hope.

hate to see brothers hurting, but love to see them over coming.

head up my brother, glad you came back.

[lovbyts]

Glad to hear you are doing better and kicked all/most of the pain meds. I recognize all those on the list from what I was taking when I ruptured my L5/S1, Several of each every day for quite a while.

I got lucky and dont have an addictive gene or something because I was able to drop most of them after the surgery and pain subsided without a problem. When I told my pain management clinic to stop my prescription for morphine, and Vicodin they sort of freaked out and said I could not just quit cold turkey. They said I would have withdraws. Then they asked when I stopped, I told them 2 or 3 weeks ago. lol

I wish I could stop the hydrocodone 100% but it seems every time I manage to stop for a couple weeks I damage myself again. At least I have been able to maintain 2 or less a day for the last few years and have never abused them or taken them for pleasure, unless you count the pleasure of not hurting so much.

I cant even imagine going through Cemo and HOPE I never have to experience that. Hopefully you wont ever have to again either. I have thought about it and especially with colon cancer and might just opt to do nothing at this point in the game. Hope I never have to make that choice though.

[SampsonandDelilah]

You are definitely one of the lucky ones Lovbyts, even an anomaly.

There was a pretty wild documentary that came out recently called “The crime of the century”. Pretty interesting insight into pain meds and how one pharmaceutical company is almost single handily responsible for the opioid epidemic in the US.

In both of our cases they are a necessary evil.

When I reflect upon it, I’m just kind of shocked at how blasé they were in prescribing them to me…going through those treatments gave me a free pass to all of the medications I wanted. By the time I realized I might have a problem, it was too late.

They said the long acting opioids would be the toughest to ween off of, I found them to be the easiest. It was the short acting drugs like the Vicodin that proved to be the toughest. The withdrawals are no joke either.

When I had my motorcycle accident in 08, it was before the “epidemic” had stated and they wrote the shit out of pain pills for me, but for whatever reason, like you I didn’t struggle to get off of them.

Flash forward 13 years and it was a different ball game.

Here’s my public service message…DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THEM.

Appreciate you all!!

[SampsonandDelilah]

Just did 405 x 5 on bench and immediately teared up! Had a total stranger “spotting”. A random kid with his nipples hanging out (this place is dead). The most I’ve ever done was 405x6 and that was pre cancer.

Can’t even describe the high I’m riding (well I’m sure you all know it). Anyways, I honestly don’t know who else would appreciate it so I’m posting it here.

Lol!

Hallelujah

[< <Samson> >]

Just did 405 x 5 on bench and immediately teared up! Had a total stranger “spotting”. A random kid with his nipples hanging out (this place is dead). The most I’ve ever done was 405x6 and that was pre cancer.

Can’t even describe the high I’m riding (well I’m sure you all know it). Anyways, I honestly don’t know who else would appreciate it so I’m posting it here.

Lol!

Hallelujah

Hilarious,


Sounds about where I'm at to a t



And, same again - I never had an addiction to pain meds(but like em, of course), but I became dependent on antipsychotics - before my whole head ordeal, I'd take a .5mg xAnax here & there after a bender or whatever - but, after being released - I needed to be pumped full of Valium to stay semi sane. . . Then I asked to be switched to xAanax - My PCP did - so. . . . Yeah

[charger69]

I was afraid that I was going to become addicted. My knee was killing me and doing a leg routine was extremely painful. I started taking pain killers to get through the workout...: and then the cortisone shot and no more pain killers needed.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[< <Samson> >]

All opiates sure are a slippery slope - addictive af + they make us feel better atm

[lovbyts]

All opiates sure are a slippery slope - addictive af + they make us feel better atm

Yeah I do consider myself lucky and dont think for a moment that I am invincible. I sort of self evaluate all the time.

[Mooseman33]

fuck opiates. them fuckers tore my life in two.

beat them bastards and never looked back. Have zero desire to ever play that game again.

[lovbyts]

fuck opiates. them fuckers tore my life in two.

beat them bastards and never looked back. Have zero desire to ever play that game again.

Thats great you were able to kick them, especially if they were a habit but they are a necessary evil for some of us to have a "normal" life and keep pain under control.

Ive tried about everything available OTC and not over the years to heal or manage pain including several highly recommended CDB pills and drops for a few weeks each time or as long as I could go due to the increased pain without my anti inflammatory or opioids. First thing the CDB does to me within hours is stops the opioids from working and does nothing to stop the pain. When I wrote to the manufactured asking if they had any experience with that they replied yes they did and its just how some people metabolism works and refunded me immediately.

I have a coworker that is even trying to tell me today that he found the magic solution for his pain 2 weeks ago, A blend of eight essential amino acids. LOL Yeah like I have never taken Amino acids. I showed him my daily regiment of vitamins and Aminos but of course his brand must be different. You have to love/hate newbies who dont even work out and never had a Real injury who have all the answers. Its like taking diet advice from an obese person. hahaha

Luckily I only need 1 Diclofenac and 1 or 2 at the most hydrocodne a day to manage things.

[Test Monsterone]

Thats great you were able to kick them, especially if they were a habit but they are a necessary evil for some of us to have a "normal" life and keep pain under control.

Ive tried about everything available OTC and not over the years to heal or manage pain including several highly recommended CDB pills and drops for a few weeks each time or as long as I could go due to the increased pain without my anti inflammatory or opioids. First thing the CDB does to me within hours is stops the opioids from working and does nothing to stop the pain. When I wrote to the manufactured asking if they had any experience with that they replied yes they did and its just how some people metabolism works and refunded me immediately.

I have a coworker that is even trying to tell me today that he found the magic solution for his pain 2 weeks ago, A blend of eight essential amino acids. LOL Yeah like I have never taken Amino acids. I showed him my daily regiment of vitamins and Aminos but of course his brand must be different. You have to love/hate newbies who dont even work out and never had a Real injury who have all the answers. Its like taking diet advice from an obese person. hahaha

Luckily I only need 1 Diclofenac and 1 or 2 at the most hydrocodne a day to manage things.

CBD, or just straight up weed, does nothing for pain for me either. If anything, I feel it more. I’ll get random pains in my body when I consume.

[< <Samson> >]

If anything will completely kill me, it’s opiates - I def formed a solid addiction to these things within months when all my shit was really bad

I’m actually so glad they are impossible to get now - I just get a few here & there from people that have left over rx’s - I find myself popping them like candy, since they actually dull the pain/soreness & I can keep going

Fuck all that - not after what I seen & experienced right next to me.

It’s all about livin now, the longer I can stretch this out the - the better

[SampsonandDelilah]

I just hated getting to the point where I didn’t even catch a buzz anymore and needed them just to feel “normal”.

The withdrawal feelings are no joke…I could tell you the exact time (within a few minutes) just by the way my stomach felt and if I was sweating profusely. They’re just nasty.

Read an article this week that stated 4 more big pharma companies have joined Purdue pharmaceuticals in pleading guilty to contributing to the opiate epidemic and the payouts will be in the billions. They’ve ruined so many families with the way they were over prescribing those pills.

It’s just crazy to think of the lobbying efforts, political support and the FDA nagging, it took to just keeping pumping drugs into our country under false pretenses of “pain support” with low addiction potential. (OxyContin was straight up criminal and all of the studies supported they lied).

They’re are far from fucking being Advil

Rant over, lol

[warchild]

I just hated getting to the point where I didn’t even catch a buzz anymore and needed them just to feel “normal”.

The withdrawal feelings are no joke…I could tell you the exact time (within a few minutes) just by the way my stomach felt and if I was sweating profusely. They’re just nasty.

Read an article this week that stated 4 more big pharma companies have joined Purdue pharmaceuticals in pleading guilty to contributing to the opiate epidemic and the payouts will be in the billions. They’ve ruined so many families with the way they were over prescribing those pills.

It’s just crazy to think of the lobbying efforts, political support and the FDA nagging, it took to just keeping pumping drugs into our country under false pretenses of “pain support” with low addiction potential. (OxyContin was straight up criminal and all of the studies supported they lied).

They’re are far from fucking being Advil

Rant over, lol

I remember about 15 years or so ago when two things happened with the opioids. One the doctors could get in trouble for not prescribing them and two they said they were non addictive. The opioid problem in the country is the true pandemic not Covid. Chris Bells documentary Prescription Thugs is pretty good. He’s the same guy that made Bigger stronger faster.

[SampsonandDelilah]

Interesting. Hadn’t heard of it, I’ll definitely check that out. I loved BSF…

I watched the “crime of the century” and it was really well done. Corporate greed and lying at its worst…

[Test Monsterone]

I just hated getting to the point where I didn’t even catch a buzz anymore and needed them just to feel “normal”.

The withdrawal feelings are no joke…I could tell you the exact time (within a few minutes) just by the way my stomach felt and if I was sweating profusely. They’re just nasty.

Read an article this week that stated 4 more big pharma companies have joined Purdue pharmaceuticals in pleading guilty to contributing to the opiate epidemic and the payouts will be in the billions. They’ve ruined so many families with the way they were over prescribing those pills.

It’s just crazy to think of the lobbying efforts, political support and the FDA nagging, it took to just keeping pumping drugs into our country under false pretenses of “pain support” with low addiction potential. (OxyContin was straight up criminal and all of the studies supported they lied).

They’re are far from fucking being Advil

Rant over, lol

It is crazy how pharmaceutical companies operate. Every other commercial on TV is trying to sell us on some medicine. At first glance it seemed innocuous, but as I stopped watching regular TV, when I watch commercials now I see how ridiculous it is.

[SampsonandDelilah]

I hate to say that I work for one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world and I see close up the powers and persuasion of the marketing campaigns that are put together. It seems pretty awful when you put that power to promote a class of drugs like opiates. At one time there’s was commercials directed towards joe public advertising the benefits of OxyContin! That’s just crazy to me…

It’s one thing for an eye drop, nasal spray or even a cancer med. opiates?!

[Test Monsterone]

I hate to say that I work for one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world and I see close up the powers and persuasion of the marketing campaigns that are put together. It seems pretty awful when you put that power to promote a class of drugs like opiates. At one time there’s was commercials directed towards joe public advertising the benefits of OxyContin! That’s just crazy to me…

It’s one thing for an eye drop, nasal spray or even a cancer med. opiates?!

Yup, I remember you telling me you worked for one. Thankfully most of the drugs they advertise for nowadays are not typically addictive. Although, there are a lot of ads for psych meds, which could cause dependency.

[Testie]

I’ve been on exile for about 5 months getting right with myself. Wanted to say hello, send out my appreciation for my PM’s and the well wishes that were awaiting me after logging back in for the first time in months.

As many of you know I dealt with colo-rectal cancer in 2020 and endured 4 months of chemo and 35 rounds of radiation.

Well I’ll be damned if I didn’t pop hot at a scan in March and have been doing immuno therapy since then. I finally finished last week, just in time to celebrate this weekend.

My last scan looked great but September will be telling. Although treatments were brutal, I was able to lift and stay on my TRT dose.

The big problem for me and why I decided to put my phone down for a bit was getting off of the pain medication. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was taking oxy, fentanyl, hydro-morphone, and Vicodin. Who knew fighting cancer would turn me into a drug addict?! Well I’m happy to say I’m down to just Vicodin and seeing a pro at the hospital to help me to the finish line.

That being said, it was hard to be on here and seeing people take their bodies to the limits when the one that had served me so well was fucking failing me. I still get compliments all the time on my physique and am still pushing heavy weights but in my mind I was small and unworthy and felt like a failure. I just had a really bad self image and I was really circling the drain by coming on here, having a pity potty for myself and then self medicating. Feeling so happy for other’s successes but feeling so poorly about my own failures.

The irony is that the first two months of 2020 I was in the best shape of my life and by far the strongest. Then life happened…

Any how, that’s my shit. Take it or leave it

Again, wanted to express my appreciation for this place and lend some understanding to why I went ghost mode.

Life is short and nothing is guaranteed. Appreciate every moment.

I hope you’re all happy and healthy and I look forward to beginning my climb upwards again, albeit with a new sense of purpose.

I’ll be getting over to the Q&A forums here shortly, I mean it is a fucking steroid forum…right?!

Best!

S&D

Glad you are in recovery my Brother thank God for that and that you are a tough dude

[Windex]

Welcome Back.

[lovbyts]

I just hated getting to the point where I didn’t even catch a buzz anymore and needed them just to feel “normal”.

The withdrawal feelings are no joke…I could tell you the exact time (within a few minutes) just by the way my stomach felt and if I was sweating profusely. They’re just nasty.

Read an article this week that stated 4 more big pharma companies have joined Purdue pharmaceuticals in pleading guilty to contributing to the opiate epidemic and the payouts will be in the billions. They’ve ruined so many families with the way they were over prescribing those pills.

It’s just crazy to think of the lobbying efforts, political support and the FDA nagging, it took to just keeping pumping drugs into our country under false pretenses of “pain support” with low addiction potential. (OxyContin was straight up criminal and all of the studies supported they lied).

They’re are far from fucking being Advil

Rant over, lol

That was your first mistake, wanting to catch a buzz. For me if I feel a buz I know I took to much and dont want that. Ive only on a very rare occasoin have ever taken more than 1 at a time within several hours. 1.5 max. If I cant take care of the pain with 1 I usually add ice and massage.

For me Percoset makes me buzz so I wont touch it. It doesn't do much for the pain IMO so after surgery when the doctors try to tell me the Percoset would be better I just say No.

Well to some of us Advil is no different than green M&Ms. lol Seriously, Ive never had an aspirin, Advil, Tylenol or anything that help in any way.

[lovbyts]

I hate to say that I work for one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world and I see close up the powers and persuasion of the marketing campaigns that are put together. It seems pretty awful when you put that power to promote a class of drugs like opiates. At one time there’s was commercials directed towards joe public advertising the benefits of OxyContin! That’s just crazy to me…

It’s one thing for an eye drop, nasal spray or even a cancer med. opiates?!

Now that is one think that I did find addictive to and tough to kick several times over the years, Nasal Spray. Especially Afrin. Its tough when you cant breath and you know just a little squirt will clear you right up. I had to water it down until it was finally probably 95% water before I could stop and it took a couple of weeks.

[SampsonandDelilah]

Funny you say that, Afrin is actually incredibly addictive and what’s worse is after a few days on and you try and stop you will get “rebound congestion” meaning the congestion you felt initially will pale in comparison to the congestion you feel after abruptly stopping it. So what do you do? Use more Afrin!

Im telling you, these companies know exactly what they’re doing

[DinAZ]

Funny you say that, Afrin is actually incredibly addictive and what’s worse is after a few days on and you try and stop you will get “rebound congestion” meaning the congestion you felt initially will pale in comparison to the congestion you feel after abruptly stopping it. So what do you do? Use more Afrin!

Im telling you, these companies know exactly what they’re doing

It is pretty crazy how bad the rebound is. I went from using a bottle of generic afrin per week to about every 6 weeks. I still get sinus problems but saline rinse helps sometimes and I save the afrin for if nose is preventing sleep. Just by cutting back the afrin my breathing is better. I still want sinus surgery eventually.

[lovbyts]

Funny you say that, Afrin is actually incredibly addictive and what’s worse is after a few days on and you try and stop you will get “rebound congestion” meaning the congestion you felt initially will pale in comparison to the congestion you feel after abruptly stopping it. So what do you do? Use more Afrin!

Im telling you, these companies know exactly what they’re doing

Yup, I know that rebound all to well. Ive also had 3 nasal surgeries (deviated septum) so especially prior to that I would try about anything to breath just a little better. I wont touch Afrin anymore or any nasal spray even if it says non habit forming. Yeah right. I do keep an empty nasal spray bottle and use a little water or salt water if allergies hit hard.

Speaking of chemical companies one of they things they have gotten people addicted to or a better word for it, brain washed is week killer. No not Roundup per say but any/all of the week killers especially for Dandelions. Dandelions use to be considered something most people wanted because they have several medicinal remedies.

Copy/paste
In traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), dandelion has been used to treat stomach problems, appendicitis, and breast problems, such as inflammation or lack of milk flow. In Europe, dandelion was used in remedies for fever, boils, eye problems, diabetes, and diarrhea.

Its easy to get caught up in the disinformation highway if you arent careful.