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  1. #1
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    "High End" Human vs. "Average" Gorilla

    Okay, who wins in a fight? I'm being serious. Both are put in a cage and a fight is to take place. Now, we're talking your standard zoo-issue gorilla and a fighting machine of a human...basically a deadly weapon of a man. My suspicion is that human's only advantage and chance would be to strike first and get lucky enough to K.O. or kill the thing within a few seconds, as I tend to think that the gorilla would initially think nothing of the human and not turn on its "fight mode" until a second or two after the human attacked it. If the gorilla survives those first seconds, I don't see how the human pulls it off...but then, I'm not too familiar with how perfectly trained for killing a human can become. Anyway, I'm being quite serious, so discuss away.......

    Here's some motivation for the gorilla by the way:

  2. #2
    AnabolicSwede's Avatar
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    The gorilla would tear him a****ingpart.

  3. #3
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnabolicSwede
    The gorilla would tear him a****ingpart.
    So you think there's ZERO chance the guy could walk up to the gorilla and unload a fatal blow before the gorilla knew what the hell was going on? The human's only advantage is its brain, the sort of scheming brain that can preemptively smash someone before they know what hit em.

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    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Have to go with the ape for two simple reasons............pain threshold and animalistic instinct for survival, both of which a wild animal would have an abundance of. Not to even mention strength of which Iím sure a gorilla has more than enough to rip an arm off of a man.

    In a bet Iíll put $20 on the gorilla.

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    Pheedno is offline Respected Member
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    Zero chance on the guy. Your talking about an animal that is at least twice as heavy, and much faster than the human it faces. Not to mention, there are far more vulnerable spots on the human, than the gorilla.

    Maybe give him a three stooges poke in the eyes, and then you could have a chance

  6. #6
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    Maybe I'm naive, there may be little chance, but I still think the gorilla could take the blow and if so the guy would be in serious trouble. But.. what the hell do i know? : )

  7. #7
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    gotta put my money on the gorilla as well

  8. #8
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Yeah, i'm just asking....i realize in a true fight, the guy is F'ed. However, I'm reluctant to let go of the sucker punch theory...remember, we're talking about the single most efficient human fighting machine ever. Wasn't there some Japanese guy in the 1800's that would kill bulls with one punch? And if I recall, he'd do several in an hour...if a bull can be taken down like that, wouldn't there be a chance that a gorilla could, especially given that this guy was not likely to have been the single greatest and most efficient killing human ever?

  9. #9
    monster.'s Avatar
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    lol..big green, sucker punch a gorilla...i'm curious if you had too much coffee this morning bro...ha...i think if you locked a man in a cage with a gorilla, let alone a small chinese man to boot, it would be a big mess, i might be missing something here, cause i did here of those fruit loops wrestling alligators and bears and stuff...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Yeah, i'm just asking....i realize in a true fight, the guy is F'ed. However, I'm reluctant to let go of the sucker punch theory...remember, we're talking about the single most efficient human fighting machine ever. Wasn't there some Japanese guy in the 1800's that would kill bulls with one punch? And if I recall, he'd do several in an hour...if a bull can be taken down like that, wouldn't there be a chance that a gorilla could, especially given that this guy was not likely to have been the single greatest and most efficient killing human ever?
    if that's true, this guy was the coolest man that ever lived.

  11. #11
    monster.'s Avatar
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    "who are you?"

    response from chinese man, "I'm the coolest man that has ever lived"

  12. #12
    BDTR's Avatar
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    Well here's the thing, i know for a fact i can kill someone by punching them, i walk around thinking no one can beat me and im strong... But **** fighting a gorilla! You nuts? I read somewhere that if one could bench press it would be pushing near a ton. Not to mention its sharp ass claws, teeth and the fact that its a wild animal and doesn't know how to tap out.

  13. #13
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bdtr
    its a wild animal and doesn't know how to tap out.
    Hahahahahha.......don't you just hate it when the other guy dosen't know the rules.........hahahahahaha

  14. #14
    Mart651's Avatar
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    sucker punch is such a bad term, I like to call it getting one off first. saying that, you still have very little chance against a gorilla super human or not.

  15. #15
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    This reminds me of the joke about the guy who goes gorilla hunting with a baseball bat, flash light and a tiny dog.

    Sucker punch a gorilla................Oh I'd pay cash money just to see that. hahahahahah

    Put the coffee cup down and step away from the computer Big Green. hahahahaha

  16. #16
    ross3814 is offline Member
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    i think if you punched a gorilla in the head you would smash every bone in your hand. the skull on a gorilla is to large and thick. i had a conversation with my freinds about this before, but it was mike tyson v. a gorilla. i think we came to the gorilla.

  17. #17
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    I see what's going on...all you bastards are trying to curry favor with the gorillas in the event that the Planet of the Apes documentary is ever fully realized. SPECIES TRAITORS!!!

    Also, I've never had a single cup of coffee in my entire life.

    Finally, I really do think you guys are glossing over the sucker punch theory a bit too nonchalantly. I mean, I'm talking a guy who since birth was trained and bred for this day: he's been schooled in the anatomy of a gorilla, trained exclusively in a fighting style that scientists and primatologists agree is the most efficient for fighting a gorilla, and has perhaps tangled with a monkey or two for practice.

    What if the gorilla is female? It doesn't have to be a 600 pound silverback male or anything.

  18. #18
    Pheedno is offline Respected Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    I see what's going on...all you bastards are trying to curry favor with the gorillas in the event that the Planet of the Apes documentary is ever fully realized. SPECIES TRAITORS!!!

    Also, I've never had a single cup of coffee in my entire life.

    Finally, I really do think you guys are glossing over the sucker punch theory a bit too nonchalantly. I mean, I'm talking a guy who since birth was trained and bred for this day: he's been schooled in the anatomy of a gorilla, trained exclusively in a fighting style that scientists and primatologists agree is the most efficient for fighting a gorilla, and has perhaps tangled with a monkey or two for practice.

    What if the gorilla is female? It doesn't have to be a 600 pound silverback male or anything.

    See, now your getting there. Details, details.

    Scenario:
    Female Gorilla- 485Lbs, at her weakest could dislocate limbs as opposed to ripping them off
    Male Man- 172Lbs(avg height for a male is 5'9. Avg weight for that is 172) with every known fighting style in his arsenal

    Anatomy of the beast would calculate a throat shot to be the most inhibiting.

    Man throws a striking blow to the throat, female spits up breakfast, then lunch is served.

  19. #19
    monster.'s Avatar
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    all i know if you pin bdtr up with a gorilla, the only thing you have to worry about happening is the two mating...

    lol..imagine the baby gorillas

    haha

  20. #20
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    I see what's going on...all you bastards are trying to curry favor with the gorillas in the event that the Planet of the Apes documentary is ever fully realized. SPECIES TRAITORS!!!

    Also, I've never had a single cup of coffee in my entire life.

    Finally, I really do think you guys are glossing over the sucker punch theory a bit too nonchalantly. I mean, I'm talking a guy who since birth was trained and bred for this day: he's been schooled in the anatomy of a gorilla, trained exclusively in a fighting style that scientists and primatologists agree is the most efficient for fighting a gorilla, and has perhaps tangled with a monkey or two for practice.

    What if the gorilla is female? It doesn't have to be a 600 pound silverback male or anything.
    Well if there is anything I've learned from the nature channel it has to be that the female of almost every species is the true bad ass. Hell, the male Lion doesnít even do the hunting! And you didn't mention if the female had a baby...............if she did then that would make her worse than the male gorilla.

    Btw, if the apes do take over, which I'm sure they will, I've already volunteered you for medical experiments. I signed you up for the excessive anal probing experiment. You should be getting something in the mail immediately following the takeover. hahahahaha

  21. #21
    chicamahomico's Avatar
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    I think Pheedno said exactly what wuold happen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148
    Well if there is anything I've learned from the nature channel it has to be that the female of almost every species is the true bad ass. Hell, the male Lion doesnít even do the hunting! And you didn't mention if the female had a baby...............if she did then that would make her worse than the male gorilla.

    Btw, if the apes do take over, which I'm sure they will, I've already volunteered you for medical experiments. I signed you up for the excessive anal probing experiment. You should be getting something in the mail immediately following the takeover. hahahahaha
    Jugg, male lions are the kings of the jungle. They dont do anything except protect their pride, eat( before the female that brought it it's lunch ), and breed.

  22. #22
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by monster.
    all i know if you pin bdtr up with a gorilla, the only thing you have to worry about happening is the two mating...

    lol..imagine the baby gorillas

    haha
    you trying to say that they would look like me?

  23. #23
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    yeah, Id have to go with the gorilla. Id doubt one could even get a true sucker punch out. It took diane fossey years to gain enough trust of teh group so that she could get close ednought to touch them. a stranger? I think not. the chinese dude might have been able to kill bulls one shot, but I don't think they were charging him at the time. probably domesticated to the point where they just stood there. second, their reflexes are better in general. a fast move like a shot to the head or throat likely will be reacted too and won't that clean. In conclusion, is it possible, yes. likely, not by a long shot.

  24. #24
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    The Gorilla would tear apart the man, No ifs ands or buts about it. The only chance the guy would have would be to use the "Drunken Monkey" style of kung fu. Just then, and only then would he be able to confuse the animal enough to.... What the hell am I talking about? It's a **** GORILLA!!

    And the New Heavyweight Champion of the World is Kong!

  25. #25
    RoNNy THe BuLL's Avatar
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    I'll play the Devil's Advocate.

    Assuming the human gets the first punch and it's a very HIGH-END Human? I'd go with him. A punch to the face is a punch to the face.

    And keeping in mind that the Gorilla is an 'average' Gorilla, I think the human would have the edge when it came down to establishing his territory.

    It's true Gorilla's don't know how to tap out, but they do know when to back down. I'm fighting for the Humans.

  26. #26
    monster.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    you trying to say that they would look like me?

    indeed..good call i forgot you were a baby gorilla...

    lollllllllllllllll

  27. #27
    PurePower is offline Senior Member
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    any human does not want to be in a cage with a silver back gorilla........they are very very dangerous

  28. #28
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    Like i said, i consider myself one of the "tougher" human beings alive right now, so id put myself on the "high end" in that respect, and i know for a fact that i couldn't take out a silverback. it would swipe me once and id be dead or maimed.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by PurePower
    any human does not want to be in a cage with a silver back gorilla........they are very very dangerous

    very concise PP.

    I would say that the humans only chance would be if it had the complete element of surprise, that is if the gorilla absolutely could not react until after the first blow was dealt.

    Edit: and that human also had a weapon.. possibly nunchucks or something. or a gun.

  30. #30
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    A farmer todl me once he used to kill bulls with a sledge hammer..... he'd hit it full swing between the eyes... it woudl always take more then a few swings to knock him out.. the bull woudl take it between the eyes and just look at the farmer ........ I doubt a gorilla would feel a punch from a human..

    ps the bull was tied to atree

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    Animal ... my old man told me the same thing (he worked every summer on his uncles farm as a kid), except they had an X shaped thing they would chain the bulls head to.

    As for Gorilla VS human, I would root for the human, but wouldn't bet a dime on him.

    Ever seen a few gorillas fight it out on the Discovery channel? Shiiiiet. Don't wanna get in their way! I don't care how big and juiced up you are.

    And they are not just strong and wild, them things are tough as nails! I remember going to the Zoo and watching them go ape-shiet when the kids antagonized them. They would go nuts and literally hurl themselves at the armored window hitting it head first, didn't even phaze them.

    Naaah Humans don't stand a chance...

    Red

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by animal-inside
    A farmer todl me once he used to kill bulls with a sledge hammer..... he'd hit it full swing between the eyes... it woudl always take more then a few swings to knock him out.. the bull woudl take it between the eyes and just look at the farmer ........ I doubt a gorilla would feel a punch from a human..

    ps the bull was tied to atree
    Yeah. A gorilla wouldn't even bat an eye if punched by a human. No matter how strong they were. Also, an orangutan is 8 times stronger than a human and gorillas are much larger than orangutans. A gorilla would mutilate a human.

  33. #33
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    In fact, I know how to kill a gorilla female, but you need tons of viagra

    GO HUMAN GO

  34. #34
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    Devils advocate again. A human could win against a gorilla given intelligance. If he got close enough to it to PUNCTURE its eyes out. Just one quick thrust with the fingers into the eyes and then get away from its defensive attack. I think you have a game.

    Although, a gorilla jab will break your neck. Thats where the phrase gorilla jab comes from. Hell, someone benching 1000 lbs full on punching you. You are toast.

    Go for the eyes or the knees. Or bite its finger off. All the tactics I use.

  35. #35
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    Im going with Ronny on this... and going human.. **** what if the guy knows how to do "the Touch of death" and gorilla's also have nerves and pressure points (if you could get to em).. and the guy was...

    Mas Oyama, He killed a Bull with one punch to the head!

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigol'legs
    Im going with Ronny on this... and going human.. **** what if the guy knows how to do "the Touch of death" and gorilla's also have nerves and pressure points (if you could get to em).. and the guy was...

    Mas Oyama, He killed a Bull with one punch to the head!
    Mas Oyama.....I think that's the guy I was thinking of (see above)!!!!

  37. #37
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    ya its him.... **** ever watch some of those karate tournys on epsn??

    THe one guy who shouldered through 28 bricks or some ****... I know I couldnt do that with a sledge... but human will can do some seriuos stuff

  38. #38
    PurePower is offline Senior Member
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    honestly im drunk right now and i honestly dont know who would win in a fight a gorilla or bdtr...... bdtr is not human so i dont know what catagory he would fit in

  39. #39
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    the way bdtr posts over at ibb, he'll be a 'gorilla' himself in no time. then we know bdtr would kick his ass if he was in fact a gorilla too.

  40. #40
    bigol'legs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roch
    the way bdtr posts over at ibb, he'll be a 'gorilla' himself in no time. then we know bdtr would kick his ass if he was in fact a gorilla too.
    I got him beat now.. but he has a lot of work to do on other boards.. BTW.. look at the respones on the IBB page...

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