Callin on rednecks...

[Swellin]

What is HBDH?...Hill Billy Dick Head?

Like you had to ask.

[Mart651]

Don't you ever roll your eyes at me son. I WILL SLAP THE TASTE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

[ttuPrincess]

~~~ ATTENTION MASS JUNKIE~~~

I see you lurking at the bottom of this thread behind the broken down puke green 87 camero with the rust spots....

Come out.. don't be ashamed to admit to us your redneck roots!!!!

HBP

[tryingtogetbig]

A few interesting facts about Texas....

Beaumont, Tx to El Paso, Tx : 742 miles

Beaumont, Tx to Chicago, Il : 770 miles

World's first rodeo was in Pecos, Tx .. July 4, 1883 .

The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water.

The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full time coach for Rice University , Houston.

Brazoria County Texas has more species of birds than any other area in North America . Aransas Wildlife Refuge (Tx) is the winter home of North America's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.

Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson, Tx in 1978.

The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900 caused by a hurricane in which over 8000 lives were lost on Galveston Island.

The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969 , was " Houston "

El Paso, Tx is closer to California than to Dallas, Tx.

Laredo, Tx is the world's largest inland port.

Tyler (Tx) Municipal Rose Garden is the world's largest rose garden with over 38,000 bushes with 500 varieties on 22 acres.

King Ranch (1 of many ranches in Texas) is larger than Rhode Island.

Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, instead of by annexation. (This allows the Texas flag to fly at the same height as the US flag.)

Dr Pepper was invented in Waco, Tx in 1885. There is no period after Dr in Dr Pepper.

The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. (by 7 feet).

The name Texas comes from the Hasini Indian word "tejas" meaning friends. Tejas is not Mexican for Texas.

The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston.



If after reading that you don't get a little teary eyed....then you must be a Yankee. Hey....that could be a new comedy routing..."you might be a Yankee if....." I could get rich off of that!!

Fill in the rest..."You might be a Yankee if........"

peace,

ttgb

[Mart651]

You might be a yankee if you never said I am (fixing) to go outside.

[ttuPrincess]

I did get teary eyed...

Im 100% Texan till I die!!!

HBP

[ttuPrincess]

You might be a yankee if you never said I am (fixing) to go outside.

Correction.. that is "fixin" there is not "g" at the end

HBP

[Mart651]

My mistake. They never showed me how to spell it in school.

Correction.. that is "fixin" there is not "g" at the end

HBP

[tryingtogetbig]

You might be a Yankee if.....you buy a pickup and have it "dropped" or lowered closer to the ground.....how the hel! will that make it go through the mud any better?

[Da Bull]

Don't you ever roll your eyes at me son. I WILL SLAP THE TASTE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

I'm starting to see the mentality here.........you start the boys off down yonder playing the FLUTE then they graduate to cornholing...is that how it works?

[Mart651]

You might be a yankee if you think your oppinion realy matters to me.

[mass junkie]

~~~ ATTENTION MASS JUNKIE~~~

I see you lurking at the bottom of this thread behind the broken down puke green 87 camero with the rust spots....

Come out.. don't be ashamed to admit to us your redneck roots!!!!

HBP

Yeehawww..........spit....pffft (ding)

[tryingtogetbig]

tell me something else about you yanks that I don't get.....a 4 wheel drive Mercedes or Lexus.....that piece of shiat wouldn't last through 1 hunting trip.....

[Mart651]

I'm starting to see the mentality here.........you start the boys off down yonder playing the FLUTE then they graduate to cornholing...is that how it works?

I don't quite understand that yankee jibberish but are you offering me sexual favors.
Please any southerner that speaks yankee please interprut for me.

[Mart651]

Yeehawww..........spit....pffft (ding)

I have a stinking suspicion that this not mass or he is on his period and aint acting like himself.

[Da Bull]

How did this thread get turned around into a Yankee bashing....you dam n rebels!

[tryingtogetbig]

Things you'll never hear a Southerner say:

We don't keep firearms in this house.
You can't feed that to the dog.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Wrasslin's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
I'll have grapefruit instead of a bowl of gravy.
Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?
Give me the SMALL bag of pork rinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
I've got it all on a floppy disk.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
Checkmate.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.




I resemble quite a few of those remarks!! Lots of people here will not understand most of them...I'm sure!

[Swellin]

I don't quite understand that yankee jibberish but are you offering me sexual favors.
Please any southerner that speaks yankee please interprut for me.

I speak pretty good Yankee, and I am almost positive that he simply confirming his reservation for the camping trip.

[Da Bull]

I have a stinking suspicion that this not mass or he is on his period and aint acting like himself.

One word..............clomid!

[ttuPrincess]

Heres my new house.. Ain't she a beaut???

HBP

[Mart651]

How did this thread get turned around into a Yankee bashing....you dam n rebels!

Well sir as stated by Doc Holliday. You can kiss my rebel dick.

[mass junkie]

I have a stinking suspicion that this not mass or he is on his period and aint acting like himself.

oh my bad bro...I forgot that I dont fitin to this clique if I dont have a chwing tobaccy ring on my right pocket of my wranglers

[tryingtogetbig]

Q: What do Yankees use for birth control?









A: Their personalities.

[ttuPrincess]

Avalible only in Texas, Alabama, Tenesse, Arkansa and Oklahoma

[Da Bull]

Things you'll never hear a Southerner say:

We don't keep firearms in this house.
You can't feed that to the dog.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Wrasslin's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
I'll have grapefruit instead of a bowl of gravy.
Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?
Give me the SMALL bag of pork rinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
I've got it all on a floppy disk.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
Checkmate.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.




I resemble quite a few of those remarks!! Lots of people here will not understand most of them...I'm sure!

So what's wrong with any of those comments...that normal conversation.

[tryingtogetbig]

One more.....

Q: How do you get four Yankees to sit on a stool?











A: Turn it upside down!

[ttuPrincess]

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF:

1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
6. You've never had an RC cola.
7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are
on road trips.
10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
12. You don't have bangs.
13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the
same prep school in Connecticut.
15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get
his own TV fishing show.
16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them
"you guys," even if both of them are women.
17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife
show.
19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at
your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the
house.
21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from
getting on an on-ramp to the highway.
22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at
Neiman Marcus.
24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side
of the road and stopping.
26. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
27. You don't know what applique is.
28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names
(i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean,
Joe Dan, Mary Alice).
29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
30. You've never been to a craft show.
31. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
32. You can do your laundry without quarters.
33. None of your fur coats are homemade.

[Mart651]

oh my bad bro...I forgot that I dont fitin to this clique if I dont have a chwing tobaccy ring on my right pocket of my wranglers

I told you a long time ago that you are a yankee. i guess you finally figured it out on your iwn.

[Swellin]

oh my bad bro...I forgot that I dont fitin to this clique if I dont have a chwing tobaccy ring on my right pocket of my wranglers

You blew it! That ain't chaw...that's snuff...BIG difference. Rather than snuff, you migh be allowed to call it Copenhagen (that hagen with a long A...not haagen...it's snuff...not a place to snow ski).

[Da Bull]

Well sir as stated by Doc Holliday. You can kiss my rebel dick.

Another one of your well respected alcoholics.......don't forget to throw general Lee in there also.

[tryingtogetbig]

WAYS TO ANNOY A YANKEE

* Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

* Pronounce all one syllable words with two.

* When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left."

* Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

* When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

* Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

* Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.

* Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

* Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

* Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .)

* Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

* Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

* Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "pee-can."

* Put Tabasco on everything.

* For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!" say , "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

* When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . . banana ones.

* Name all of your children "Bubba."

* Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.

* "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.

* Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.

* Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

* Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations..

* Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there. . ." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.."

* Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

* Call 'em a yankee. Works every time.

[Mart651]

Another one of your well respected alcoholics.......don't forget to throw general Lee in there also.

The south was formed by well respected alcoholics, I have you know.

[mass junkie]

One word..............clomid!

Not any more Beeatch....I am officially back from the dead

[Da Bull]

The south was formed by well respected alcoholics, I have you know.

Yes and you all keep history alive don't you......bunch of stew bums!

[Mart651]

Yes and you all keep history alive don't you......bunch of stew bums!

You better hope you fly to New York when you go visit family. I just called my kin folks in south Ga. and they got a linchin waiting for you if you drive threw there.

[ttuPrincess]

your not an alcoholic until

1) you stop drinking and sober up long enough to realize what its like to be sober..
2)you take over some land and piss off a bunch of Yanks in the process...

so leave our heros alone!!
HBP

[Swellin]

In the history of SFTs this one has to hold the record for the fastest exposion of completely useless banter.

[Mart651]

In the history of SFTs this one has to hold the record for the fastest exposion of completely useless banter.

5 pages of blaaaawwww.
Watch out for BDTR, this one will surely get locked.

[ttuPrincess]

In the history of SFTs this one has to hold the record for the fastest exposion of completely useless banter.

But your taking part in it.. so what's the problem??

HBP

[Da Bull]

In the history of SFTs this one has to hold the record for the fastest exposion of completely useless banter.

Yeah......it's was done in a fun manner anyway and no one got upset....so I don't see the harm....