Sexual Experiences that freaked you out

**SHRED** · 06-30-2005, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by Tazwell

ok,

so it was my first date with this real hot hooter's waitress.. turns out she loves to drink, so we get hammered.. things go good in my favor, and were going back to my place..

well, here in texas if you get smashed, you go eat at a 24hr mexican food place afterwereds (just goes so well together)

so we eat, go back to my place... got her in just a thong and she gave me great oral, ya know no big deal.. (but, this girl had a great body, was a hooters rep at their promo events)

but, jeeeeeeeeeeeez.. while she was sleeping she kept giving me the worst, mexican food, dutch ovens.. i mean she was hot but i was suffering.. to make it worse she gets up, while i'm pretending to sleep, and goes to the bathroom to take the longest shit..

it was for the best though.. she was feeling bad about me not calling her.. and one of my boys was being a good guy and makin' feel better.. now, they love each other and live together..

Make sure your boy has alot of lysol in the house.

**co2boi** · 06-30-2005, 12:47 PM

at least she didn't shit on you bro...

my wife caught her ex boyfriend doing all kinda weird shit. He would shit in his hand in the shower and jack off with it. Take bloody tampons that didn't make it down the toilet and sniff them and shit. He even laid a dead cat outside in front of his porch so he could watch it rot...for each his own, but dayum man, come on.

**co2boi** · 06-30-2005, 12:48 PM

oh, that was the same guy that finally confesed to multiple sexual encouters with his 16 and 12 year old sisters...

**VIXI** · 06-30-2005, 12:48 PM

not impartial to hearing the words..."who's your daddy"...lol...oh memories...

**3Vandoo** · 06-30-2005, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by co2boi

at least she didn't shit on you bro...

my wife caught her ex boyfriend doing all kinda weird shit. He would shit in his hand in the shower and jack off with it. Take bloody tampons that didn't make it down the toilet and sniff them and shit. He even laid a dead cat outside in front of his porch so he could watch it rot...for each his own, but dayum man, come on.

**Dally** · 06-30-2005, 12:54 PM

AHHH FOR FUK SAKES

I just posted my 3rd tale of debauchery about whizzin on this chick....

and the fukin server crashes...

ahh well, guess it wasnt meant to be.

**Cmore** · 06-30-2005, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by VIXI

not impartial to hearing the words..."who's your daddy"...lol...oh memories...

Damn, Vixi, if I liked you any more I would probably leave my wife...

**clockworks** · 06-30-2005, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by co2boi

He would shit in his hand in the shower and jack off with it.

That is the sickest sh-t I have ever heard.

Pushing on the back of the head? What about just resting a hand on the head and just going with the movement (not directing it).

I think the people who like being defecated on have self esteem or self respect problems!! Or maybe not...maybe they are so f-ing secure with themselves......

**co2boi** · 06-30-2005, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by VIXI

not impartial to hearing the words..."who's your daddy"...lol...oh memories...

Damn, I've yet to meet a girl that likes that. Guess I never will now that I'm married.

I love for a woman to grab my head with both hand and shove my face into her crotch while she starts grinding on my face....oh hellz yeah

**SwoleCat** · 06-30-2005, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by VIXI

not impartial to hearing the words..."who's your daddy"...lol...oh memories...

Who's your PAPI is much better!

~SC~

**Dally** · 06-30-2005, 02:30 PM

I say and do shit like this...

"you fukin like that bitch?" BOOOM "huh?" BOOM BOOM BOOM... "getting banged in that little pussy?" BOOMMM BOOOM BOOM BOOOMM
"yeah, you do!! you DO, DONT CHU!!"

slow the tempo... nice and slow to almost a halt....

"in ur little puss like that huh BABY?"
then a lil kissy.....

then..

right hand SMACKK right to the right side gluteus maximus and a nice couple anus flick, horks and rubs a wee insertion till the big O ......

and and bannng bang bang alll the way HOME.

HAVE A GOOOD LONG WEEKEND!! IM OUT!!

**SHRED** · 06-30-2005, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by VIXI

not impartial to hearing the words..."who's your daddy"...lol...oh memories...

i am.....

**SwoleCat** · 06-30-2005, 02:39 PM

We have a lot in common!

~SC~

Originally Posted by Dally

I say and do shit like this...

"you fukin like that bitch?" BOOOM "huh?" BOOM BOOM BOOM... "getting banged in that little pussy?" BOOMMM BOOOM BOOM BOOOMM
"yeah, you do!! you DO, DONT CHU!!"

slow the tempo... nice and slow to almost a halt....

"in ur little puss like that huh BABY?"
then a lil kissy.....

then..

right hand SMACKK right to the right side gluteus maximus and a nice couple anus flick, horks and rubs a wee insertion till the big O ......

and and bannng bang bang alll the way HOME.

HAVE A GOOOD LONG WEEKEND!! IM OUT!!

**Mighty Joe** · 06-30-2005, 04:27 PM

This thread finally expresses the real side effects of AAS Use

**bigtwin** · 06-30-2005, 05:26 PM

ok, one time i was shit faced and kicked out of a club, i got into a random cab who could see i was severly drunk and ended up pulling into an ally and giving me head, true story. sware on it. she ended up giving me 6$ thats right!!! am i a male prostitute?

**punchrf** · 06-30-2005, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by bigtwin

ok, one time i was shit faced and kicked out of a club, i got into a random cab who could see i was severly drunk and ended up pulling into an ally and giving me head, true story. sware on it. she ended up giving me 6$ thats right!!! am i a male prostitute?

the big fat cabby did? at least you got paid.

**Money Boss Hustla** · 06-30-2005, 05:42 PM

The real question has become...how many of these stories are actually true!? I love internet machoism.

**beginnerneedhelp** · 06-30-2005, 07:15 PM

Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

WITHOUT GETTING TOO GRAPHIC - - - DALLY!!!

Since we are on the topic....what was the most freaky expericence you ever had...good or bad.

Lots of good ones but the one bad one that stands out is..

I dated this guy for a while. Retired Marine. BIG guy. Samoan/filipino mix. About 3 months into the relationship, we were in the shower together and he wanted to PISS ON ME! NO Fvckin WAY. We got past that....but then about 2 months later......at the "big moment" he screams out ... "oh here I cum you fukin little bitch". Ok so that nite, I let it slide. The orgasms were pretty intense for us both.

Next night he does it again. I push him off me and ask him if he realized what he had said...both nights....he said ya. SO. We are both adults here.

Hmmmmm WRONG ANSWER. You can say a lot of things to me in bed but that was a bit much for me. The next morning I packed his stuff up for him and he never returned!

thats so fukin hillarious. LMAO I guess he better off

**RussianVodka** · 06-30-2005, 07:17 PM

Once I bang a real hot hooter's waitress. When I was done I found that my raincoat is destructed....It was the hardest month in my life. To make long story short, she get her period and I got no STD:-)

**beginnerneedhelp** · 06-30-2005, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by clockworks

Nuts to that!

ok...here's my stuff.

A couple of ex's ago, my gf (at the time) asked if I wanted to do anal. Sure, why not...most guys never even get the opportunity. So while we were doing it, it looked pretty painful (she was riding on top)...I felt pretty bad and wasn't enjoying it much, so I told her we could stop. She gets off and then says, "hey, lay there, don't move...and close your eyes." I could detect slight panic in her voice, so of course I opened my eyes when she rushed to the bathroom. Thats right, she had POO'ED on me!! Hahahaha. In all honesty, I felt more embarrassed for her than anything, so I tried to be really nice about it. She was embarrassed though!

One time me and an ex were fighting (which was extremely rare) and it just broke out into extremely rough (scary even) sex. She had a look on her face like she honestly wanted to kill me and we were choking each other pretty badly (at least, I was getting choked pretty badly).

One time in college, an ex wanted me to put a whippit up her butt. She squeezed it out then smelled it.

Facials are always kinky to me, even though every single gf I've had lets me do them. Its probably cuz they know I mean absolutely no disrespect by it and its just kinda a novelty (get to pretend you're a porn star!!).

I swear, I have more good ones, but I can't remember them now.

Damn guy LMAO

she pooed on you ? I hope it didnt stain LMAO joking

**Superhuman** · 09-27-2005, 03:38 PM

...oh shit I just now found this thread! I got so many stories. I have to go to my Bio Lab, but when I get back tonight yall will here how it goes. Man, Dally and I are on the same boat here. You've got to mind-fuck girls while you're doing them. I can make girls cum just by whispering into their ears. You've just got to say the right stuff and u can get a girl to do just about anything!

**livewire57** · 09-27-2005, 04:37 PM

I went down on this girl in return for the first two seasons of Family Guy DVD's she had. She fucking ripped me off one of the cases was empty, no DVD in it at all.

**tempbrit** · 09-27-2005, 04:46 PM

An ex-client of mine was really hot, but very married. We were always flirting, but never crossed the line. I ran into her in a club and asked her about her husband and she gave me some story about having a rough time and they were getting separated. She invited me over to her house later that week and I jumped. Well, we were in bed in about 5 seconds and we are working things out quite nicely there. Then all of a sudden, there is this really loud noise in her closet. I jump up and look to see what in the world caused the noise.....she tried to stop me. When I opened the closet door, I found her husband in the closet passed out. Apparently, he had stood too long with his knees locked as he was perving out in the closet watching me bang his wife. This was what he and his wife were into.

I got the heck out of dodge as soon as possible. I do not look down or question what turns other people on (well maybe the guy rubbing crap on his unit is a bit much), but it is a completely different thing when you are participating in an event such as this without full knowledge.

Not cool. Kind of sucked, because she was really really hot.

**CRUISECONTROL** · 09-27-2005, 04:49 PM

bump cuz I can

**spywizard** · 09-27-2005, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by tempbrit

An ex-client of mine was really hot, but very married. We were always flirting, but never crossed the line. I ran into her in a club and asked her about her husband and she gave me some story about having a rough time and they were getting separated. She invited me over to her house later that week and I jumped. Well, we were in bed in about 5 seconds and we are working things out quite nicely there. Then all of a sudden, there is this really loud noise in her closet. I jump up and look to see what in the world caused the noise.....she tried to stop me. When I opened the closet door, I found her husband in the closet passed out. Apparently, he had stood too long with his knees locked as he was perving out in the closet watching me bang his wife. This was what he and his wife were into.

I got the heck out of dodge as soon as possible. .

Not cool. Kind of sucked, because she was really really hot.

so you are saying since he was out cold.. you still hit it like a teenager

**The Return Of Hoss** · 09-27-2005, 05:23 PM

I've posted here about my shoulder dislocation when I was 15--its been a never ending problem. 5 times the left has came out, 1 time the right has came out.

I was banging my ex in the pool, and my arms came out in the pool before but only when I've been swimming so i didnt think anything of it. When she started screaming "OH GOD" so did I, because my fucking arm subfluxated. Needless to say that was the end of our night

**Superhuman** · 09-27-2005, 06:10 PM

one day all the protein I had was for some reason makin me feel real gassy and when my girlfriend was givin me head I farted right onto her face. she started gaggin and shit. I couldn't even stand it - i had to leave the room

**Superhuman** · 09-27-2005, 06:13 PM

another time i was doin this one girl and I wanted to pull out and pop in her mout, so she started sucking it and after I came she went to the bathroom. I thought she spat it out when she came back, so she came up to make out with me and I got a whole mouthful of it! I got so pissed I spit it on her but she didn't care. Luckily I had a lot of pineapple that day...

**Superhuman** · 09-27-2005, 06:24 PM

I had this one girl who liked to act like she was gettin raped for some reason so she always wanted me to grab her neck real tight and throw her around and shit - she had problems - but I didn't complain, I had fun!

**chest6** · 09-27-2005, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by Superhuman

another time i was doin this one girl and I wanted to pull out and pop in her mout, so she started sucking it and after I came she went to the bathroom. I thought she spat it out when she came back, so she came up to make out with me and I got a whole mouthful of it! I got so pissed I spit it on her but she didn't care. Luckily I had a lot of pineapple that day...

ah wtf! I wont even make out w my gf after she gives me head i would be pissed as hell if some girl did that to me

**The Return Of Hoss** · 09-27-2005, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by chest6

ah wtf! I wont even make out w my gf after she gives me head i would be pissed as hell if some girl did that to me

Ditto...wtf.

**Superhuman** · 09-27-2005, 10:00 PM

...she caught me off guard I thought she cleaned up and everything.

***Narkissos*** · 09-27-2005, 10:10 PM

Originally Posted by BlInDsIdE

ok so I was at this guys house right, and we're on his couch watching a movie and I start givin him head and so while i'm giving him head he starts parting my hair!!!! I was like, "What are u GAY???". Can u believe that fag, I just finished him off and left.

What...the...fuck>?

***Narkissos*** · 09-27-2005, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by Dally

she was like, I want you to suck my pussy, I'm like NO FUKIN WAY... your gonna spray me with that "cum" and blind me...

Lmao!

That's funny right there ...lol

**tempbrit** · 09-28-2005, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by spywizard

so you are saying since he was out cold.. you still hit it like a teenager

The guys was completely out cold from fainting. I did not run out of the house with my clothes in my arms like a teenager, but it kind of killed the mood. I told this girl that she was a freak and what she and her husband was doing was not cool. I told her that I might have been able to do it if she was just upfront.

I don't know why, but it freaked me out and I wanted nothing to do with it after that.

**decadbal** · 09-28-2005, 02:58 PM

i had to choke this girl in college... she begged me to for a few weeks then i did.. she told me she loved me... it was great, i released all my hatred for everything on her ass...

**Red Ketchup** · 09-28-2005, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by Money Boss Hustla

The real question has become...how many of these stories are actually true!? I love internet machoism.

Dear Penthouse... you're not going to believ this but.....

Red

**spywizard** · 09-28-2005, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by tempbrit

The guys was completely out cold from fainting. I did not run out of the house with my clothes in my arms like a teenager, but it kind of killed the mood. I told this girl that she was a freak and what she and her husband was doing was not cool. I told her that I might have been able to do it if she was just upfront.

I don't know why, but it freaked me out and I wanted nothing to do with it after that.

I hear ya man.. i've fucked other girls with the husband there, and alone.. it never works out for the husband.. the wife is fine..

I've tag teamed a girl with one of my best friends, picture this if you will

me in the back, her on her hands and knees, and my buddy getting a bj, we look up laugh our asses off, and high 5 each other..

oh.............. the good old days..

**punchrf** · 09-28-2005, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

I hear ya man.. i've fucked other girls with the husband there, and alone.. it never works out for the husband.. the wife is fine..

I've tag teamed a girl with one of my best friends, picture this if you will

me in the back, her on her hands and knees, and my buddy getting a bj, we look up laugh our asses off, and high 5 each other..

oh.............. the good old days..

i've done this also. tag teamed this girl with my buddy, now he's married to her. i never get invited over unless she's gone. can't figure out why.