You ever date a bisexual?

[Mike Dura]

Hi Mizfit. It sounds like I've made you angry. I feel bad about that because you seem like a nice girl. I Just to be clear, so you know, the theory you call absurd is NOT my theory. It's John Bowlby's attachment theory and it's widely accepted in the social sciences. I should have made that more clear so you'd understand that I'm not throwing it off the top of my head or making it up out of thin air. Darwinian thinking seems relevant to bodybuilding and there are plenty of people on this board who find Darwinian ideas interesting - especially in the philosophy section. I'm one of them. But not everyone on this board is college educated. I'm not really writing with those people in mind - I'm looking to connect with people who have similar experiences and a similar background to mine. Other people who read the ideas I'm talking about might be more "concrete minded" by habit and I feel like such people might misunderstand me. I never expected it would rub anyone the wrong way. Who knew?

It sounds like you're making personal attacks on me. I don't think that's really fair. Do you? Take a moment and think about it. I never made a personal attack on you. I just brought up someone elses theory and I cited that person right from the start. I see that you are well-liked on this board and you found a kind of niche for yourself and there's some entertainment value to that. I wouldn't knock it! No hard feelings dear. Let's keep it civil ok?

No your right i can't connect to a theory that is absurd.

The fact that in your small world you have come to certain conclusions, which really don't correlate to the general population - makes no sense and i don't feel the need or desire to connect to such irrational thought.


Obviously, you prey on weak minded, women who have been abused, possibly because these are the only type of women you can get (Just a thought), and this is why you are constantly coming up against women with this experience.

[Mike Dura]

OMG! Lol! Nice day out there isn't it? Not a cloud in the sky over here on LI. The traffic is a killer. Lol!

[Mike Dura]

I love this board! ..........................

[ascendant]

oh, i just had to post in this thread. haven't read everyones posts, as this is a pretty big thread, but though i'm married, my wife is bi, and we are swingers. it's good stuff.

though she's more into men, she loves a little vag here and there too. bi women are just so much more fun. she's the 3rd bi-girl i've been with, and though i believe to each his own, i like the openness of the relationship.

i have to tell you though, i think 3somes are way overrated. i like one-on-one just as much (if not more) than a 3some. i have a lot of reasons as to why, but i find with 3somes, things are a little scattered at times and things get awkward occasionally as well.

one bad thing of being swingers at our age is most people who swing are in their late 30's and up, so there's not a lot to choose from and it's hard to find attractive couples to play with. but, you find some here and there and when you do, it's a blast.

[Mike Dura]

Wow great post. I'm definately interested in swinging. I've met a couple once back when I lived in Georgia in 99. I agree with you it's good times. I'd like to meet a girl who's into swinging now....Good stuff you lucky devil.

oh, i just had to post in this thread. haven't read everyones posts, as this is a pretty big thread, but though i'm married, my wife is bi, and we are swingers. it's good stuff.

though she's more into men, she loves a little vag here and there too. bi women are just so much more fun. she's the 3rd bi-girl i've been with, and though i believe to each his own, i like the openness of the relationship.

i have to tell you though, i think 3somes are way overrated. i like one-on-one just as much (if not more) than a 3some. i have a lot of reasons as to why, but i find with 3somes, things are a little scattered at times and things get awkward occasionally as well.

one bad thing of being swingers at our age is most people who swing are in their late 30's and up, so there's not a lot to choose from and it's hard to find attractive couples to play with. but, you find some here and there and when you do, it's a blast.

[Tren Bull]

I love this board! ..........................

yea me too, as long as people aren't misinterpreting my posts and giving me sh_t for it.

[Tren Bull]

Hmmm, maybe, but it seems too understated to be sarcasm.

well hows this for you? there are way too many fu_king people in this world, and god needs to do something to control the population before someone goes crazy and starts gunning these stupid motherfu_kers down

[Tren Bull]

Carlos, I didn't say anything remotely close to "all homosexuals are femine." I feel terrible that I'm being so misunderstood by you. I PM'd you with an apology because I sense that I'm being misunderstood by you and it seem like I'm causing you to resent me. That's not what I want to do at all. Just for the record, I'm supportive of the gay community. If you read other threads of mine you'd see that I defend the homosexual lifestyle against some of the homophobic people on the board. Dude! C'mon!

dont worry about carlos. it doesnt matter what you say to him, hel still be offended even if you try to be polite and respectful

[ascendant]

well hows this for you? there are way too many fu_king people in this world, and god needs to do something to control the population before someone goes crazy and starts gunning these stupid motherfu_kers down

i agree. overpopulation is a serious issue. some countries even go to the extent of population control, which is a must at this point to prevent us from destroying ourselves, either through pollution or exhaustion of natural resources.

the worst is you see people in "low-income" areas, especially on Long Island in NY, with like 5 or 6 kids. meanwhile, when you see those same families in the local shopping center, you see them bring food stamps out at the register!!! now what the hell are you doing popping out all those kids when you can't even afford one?!

to make things even worse with those families is 99% of the time, those parents do nothing but yell at the kids and are completely rotten to them. could you make it anymore obvious you're popping out kids just for more welfare money?!

our entire welfare and unemployment system needs a complete overhaul. if you pop out one kid accidentally under certain circumstances, fine, put them on welfare, but for a limited time to give them the opportunity to find a job! however, when people are on welfare and they pop out a second child, i believe right there they should be immediately cut off from all assistance, cause at that point it's plain stupidity. sorry if this comes off as rude, but it's people like that who are ruining not just our society but our entire planet.

sorry for jumping off comment, but i had to remark on that.

[ascendant]

Wow great post. I'm definately interested in swinging. I've met a couple once back when I lived in Georgia in 99. I agree with you it's good times. I'd like to meet a girl who's into swinging now....Good stuff you lucky devil.

back on topic...

swinging is definitely a fun lifestyle. many people can't handle it though cause of insecurity issues. it does take a very strong relationship to swing. well, either that or a very messed up one that's on the verge of ending, but those people aren't very fun and i suggest you run before you get dragged into the drama.

as far as finding a girl who's into swinging, they don't have to necessarily be into it at the beginning of the relationship. my wife wasn't, she was just bi-curious at that point. however, with open minds and security with one another, you can open the relationship to unbelievable sexual experiences that actually help re-ignite the sparks between the two of you with the excitement.

i know for some, swinging is cheating, but with both me and my wifes spiritual beliefs, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. not only that, but it's a great way to not limit your relationship ties with one person and gives you the opportunity to expand your emotions far beyond the normal limitations of a one-on-one relationship. if i lost any of you with that, sorry, but if you ever did get into swinging and it worked out for you, you'll know exactly what i mean.

[Tren Bull]

i agree. overpopulation is a serious issue. some countries even go to the extent of population control, which is a must at this point to prevent us from destroying ourselves, either through pollution or exhaustion of natural resources.

the worst is you see people in "low-income" areas, especially on Long Island in NY, with like 5 or 6 kids. meanwhile, when you see those same families in the local shopping center, you see them bring food stamps out at the register!!! now what the hell are you doing popping out all those kids when you can't even afford one?!

to make things even worse with those families is 99% of the time, those parents do nothing but yell at the kids and are completely rotten to them. could you make it anymore obvious you're popping out kids just for more welfare money?!

our entire welfare and unemployment system needs a complete overhaul. if you pop out one kid accidentally under certain circumstances, fine, put them on welfare, but for a limited time to give them the opportunity to find a job! however, when people are on welfare and they pop out a second child, i believe right there they should be immediately cut off from all assistance, cause at that point it's plain stupidity. sorry if this comes off as rude, but it's people like that who are ruining not just our society but our entire planet.

sorry for jumping off comment, but i had to remark on that.

i totally agree bro. freeloaders like that should get cut off completely. imo its fu_kin wrong to put your own interests before your children. fu_k that, and fu_k those selfish people. they will be going to hell for sure, where il make them suffer for their selfishness.

[Mike Dura]

Yeah, misunderstandings happen some times. I'm surprised at the anger - you have to wonder how citing a psych theory can be the cause of such hatred especially in one of the cases below. How can a theory turn into a personal attack with talk of dating weak woman? WTF? Amazing! It reminds me of the time I was in the tripping fields of New Paltz and I had to talk this girl down from her bad trip. She was climbing the trees and trying to "feed the birds." I feel bad at the humiliation, yet a bit bewildred and slightly amused. People never cease to amaze. It gets much worse too! Watch out! There out there!

yea me too, as long as people aren't misinterpreting my posts and giving me sh_t for it.

[Tren Bull]

Yeah, misunderstandings happen some times. I'm surprised at the anger - you have to wonder how citing a psych theory can be the cause of such hatred especially in one of the cases below. How can a theory turn into a personal attack with talk of dating weak woman? WTF? Amazing! It reminds me of the time I was in the tripping fields of New Paltz and I had to talk this girl down from her bad trip. She was climbing the trees and trying to "feed the birds." I feel bad at the humiliation, yet a bit bewildred and slightly amused. People never cease to amaze. It gets much worse too! Watch out! There out there!

i dont know bro. some people have a chip on their shoulder so to speak and are probably looking for an excuse to vent their anger on someone simply cause at some point in their life, someone hurt their feelings. absolutely unbelievable. but im not too worried about it, ive got lots of bros on this site, so as far as im concerened, im not the one with the attitude problem.

[Mike Dura]

Yeah after reading the posts below maybe it's best to apologise in advance if people don't get what your saying - kind of a disclaimer. Lol! No your very clear. I can picture being capable of doing it. The girl I dated for 14 years (on and off) would never do that and I would have married her and dealt with that but now that I'm single, it would be nice to meet a person who's open to that. And I agree that it could be a rich experience emotionally when there's that sense of trust and that it's shared together. And plus, the excitement! I'm envious. Maybe I'll put up a personals ad for a swinging chick.

back on topic...

swinging is definitely a fun lifestyle. many people can't handle it though cause of insecurity issues. it does take a very strong relationship to swing. well, either that or a very messed up one that's on the verge of ending, but those people aren't very fun and i suggest you run before you get dragged into the drama.

as far as finding a girl who's into swinging, they don't have to necessarily be into it at the beginning of the relationship. my wife wasn't, she was just bi-curious at that point. however, with open minds and security with one another, you can open the relationship to unbelievable sexual experiences that actually help re-ignite the sparks between the two of you with the excitement.

i know for some, swinging is cheating, but with both me and my wifes spiritual beliefs, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. not only that, but it's a great way to not limit your relationship ties with one person and gives you the opportunity to expand your emotions far beyond the normal limitations of a one-on-one relationship. if i lost any of you with that, sorry, but if you ever did get into swinging and it worked out for you, you'll know exactly what i mean.

[Tren Bull]

i dont know about those swinger chicks bro... seems like a good way to get hiv along with every other std you could possibly get

[Tren Bull]

i think they should re title this thread as the official argument thread or something. seems like theres alot of hostility here

[Mike Dura]

Well, I got that impression with Carlos. He's been very critical and judgemental of my personal disclosures - I've been pretty candid on these threads and that opens you up to judgement. I don't know him well enough to understand what the deal is but I guess we all have some emotional luggage that can overlap into relationships. There was a time when my baggage spilled into relationships but I'm in the habit of being self-critical so I ask, "How did I contribute to this situation." If more people held themselves accountable for what they do and apologise when they screw up we'd all get along so much better. My best friend was originally an enemy. We got into a fist fight over a girl and that same night we made amends and talked it out. I apologised and he was big enough to do the same. We was the best friend I ever had.

i dont know bro. some people have a chip on their shoulder so to speak and are probably looking for an excuse to vent their anger on someone simply cause at some point in their life, someone hurt their feelings. absolutely unbelievable. but im not too worried about it, ive got lots of bros on this site, so as far as im concerened, im not the one with the attitude problem.

[Tren Bull]

Well, I got that impression with Carlos. He's been very critical and judgemental of my personal disclosures

yea, hes been pretty rude to me for no reason too. and its not just you and me either, quite alot of my AR bros have mentioned that carlos was rude to them too. i dont go around with an attitude, usually i get along with everybody. but some people would rather instigate problems then to just be polite. oh well, what can you do?

[Carlos_E]

It's like you two are having a private conversation on the open board. If you want to ask me how and why I feel the way I do about you. Ask me directly. You two asking each other will get you no where.

[Carlos_E]

Tren Bull. You must be blind. You wonder what you said that offended me? NotSmall pointed it out to you. As well as Mizfit. If you STILL can't see it. It's because you choose not to.

[Carlos_E]

Well, I got that impression with Carlos. He's been very critical and judgemental of my personal disclosures - I've been pretty candid on these threads and that opens you up to judgement. I don't know him well enough to understand what the deal is but I guess we all have some emotional luggage that can overlap into relationships.

She was crazy yet raw in the sexual department. This was a welcomed break from my long time girlfriend who had little sense of adventure. And now that my ex-girlfriend has broken up with me for the second time in a two months, I've been hanging out with this girl (she's a young one at only 19) who's bi.

Please tell me what a 37 year old man has in common with a young girl half is age. ??? A 19 year old is a child. I am 36, I have nothing in common with a 19 year old. Mentally or emotionally.

You posted about your girlfriend (now ex girlfriend) wanting to get married days after posting that you cheat on her. Then you post wondering why she broke up with you. Then you ask why I have been critical of you.

Things like this point to a person's character. Cheaters are liars. Liars cannot be trusted. Liars are not the type of people I would want as a friend.

[Mike Dura]

I PM'd you but you never responded. If you'd like to tell me on the open board that's cool. If you want to PM me that's ok too. Either way, no hard feelings. I just feel bad about the misunderstanding.

It's like you two are having a private conversation on the open board. If you want to ask me how and why I feel the way I do about you. Ask me directly. You two asking each other will get you no where.

[ascendant]

i dont know about those swinger chicks bro... seems like a good way to get hiv along with every other std you could possibly get

well, you can get that from any girl. swingers usually tend to be safer than the regular "find em in a bar" wild girls, cause swingers usually get checked for std's regularly. most also use condoms, which my wife makes us do. you have a far better chance of getting std's from a girl who's willing to do a one-night-stand as opposed to swingers.

personally, i'd rather take that slight chance of getting something (though with a condom, it's pretty unlikely) as opposed to just not having sex. hey, you're not gonna live forever anyway!

[Carlos_E]

personally, i'd rather take that slight chance of getting something (though with a condom, it's pretty unlikely) as opposed to just not having sex.

???

Whats wrong wtih just having sex with your wife?

[Carlos_E]

I don't understand open relationships.

It's like your wife is basically a live in f uck buddy. Right? A f uck buddy. You have sex with them most of the time and also with other people.

Isn't that what you're doing with your wife?

???

[Tony Bologna]

I'm not reading this whole thread but i'll simply answer your question yes i've dated 2 bisexuals girls and had a fling with one gay guy who cares life is short and I found intrest in these people at that time of my life and this was over 5 years ago so idk why it matters cause i know i'm all about straight and bi pvssy from now on... homos are weird but intresting as friends...

[Carlos_E]

I'm not reading this whole thread but i'll simply answer your question yes i've dated 2 bisexuals girls and had a fling with one gay guy who cares life is short and I found intrest in these people at that time of my life and this was over 5 years ago so idk why it matters cause i know i'm all about straight and bi pvssy from now on... homos are weird but intresting as friends...

[ascendant]

I don't understand open relationships.

It's like your wife is basically a live in f uck buddy. Right? A f uck buddy. You have sex with them most of the time and also with other people.

Isn't that what you're doing with your wife?

???

you seem to be a very set-minded individual carlos. either that or simply very closed minded, but i'm trying to be optimistic here. you should try to open your mind to other states of being, as from what i've read from other posts of yours, the arguments you get into with people seem to come from you jumping to conclusions and taking things personally against your own ideals. you seem like you're either a scorpio or a taurus, but maybe i'm wrong.

my wife is not a f*ck buddy cause our relationship goes far deeper than what we experience with others. if she was only a f*ck buddy, than what would differenciate her between the other people we swing with? to us, sex is not what a relationship is about. to us, it's about the emotion and the connection. we just have such a strong connection that goes well beyond just the physical that we don't need to isolate the sex part to make ourselves feel better.

why do we have monogamous relationships anyway? it goes against all our evolutionary and physiological foundations of our being. the only reason so many people are stuck on monogamy is because that's what's "socially acceptable". however, even when in a monogamous relationship, people still desire others, you just resist the urges. in other words, monogamy forces us to go against our natural instincts.

so, what is a healthier relationship? one where you go against natural instincts, conflicting with your own mind and body, and isolating your connection to one person due to insecurity issues (at least that's the typical cause)? or, a relationship where you follow what your body had been physiologically intended to do and at the same time expand your deeper connections to more people in an expansive, positive way?

up until this relationship with my wife, i never would've been able to swing. i wouldn't have been able to handle seeing her with another guy. i had been insecure in my relationships, a common factor with most people in not wanting to swing. however, after letting go of my own insecurities, now not only have i opened myself to the experience, but it's actually improved our love life as we learn new things from other couples and the reminiscing of certain experiences we've had turns us both on.

i believe to each his own and respect everyones wishes, but i also believe that monogamy is not necessarily ideal for our mind, body, and especially our spirit and soul.

[Mike Dura]

I enjoyed that post. Ascendant has sense and he's a good communicator. I'd like to add....hey Carlos, with all due respect, and I do respect you, I think ascendant is "right on" about your habit of "jumping to conclusions" and seeming to have "an axe to grind." When a person is fearful of differences in others he is said to be "xenophobic." I think diversity isn't to be feared, judged, or attacked rather it's a challenge to the imagination to try to understand, empathize and to open up to other "modes of being (which sounds like an existential phrase)." In the latter case, that would be a constructive choice. This is what's great about humanity is it's great diversity. This is great for the individual too, because it means he can choose to imagine and if he chooses to imagine he can eventually empathize with all humans....this is what brings us together and this is what gives us freedom to change ourselves as individuals.

you seem to be a very set-minded individual carlos. either that or simply very closed minded, but i'm trying to be optimistic here. you should try to open your mind to other states of being, as from what i've read from other posts of yours, the arguments you get into with people seem to come from you jumping to conclusions and taking things personally against your own ideals. you seem like you're either a scorpio or a taurus, but maybe i'm wrong.

my wife is not a f*ck buddy cause our relationship goes far deeper than what we experience with others. if she was only a f*ck buddy, than what would differenciate her between the other people we swing with? to us, sex is not what a relationship is about. to us, it's about the emotion and the connection. we just have such a strong connection that goes well beyond just the physical that we don't need to isolate the sex part to make ourselves feel better.

why do we have monogamous relationships anyway? it goes against all our evolutionary and physiological foundations of our being. the only reason so many people are stuck on monogamy is because that's what's "socially acceptable". however, even when in a monogamous relationship, people still desire others, you just resist the urges. in other words, monogamy forces us to go against our natural instincts.

so, what is a healthier relationship? one where you go against natural instincts, conflicting with your own mind and body, and isolating your connection to one person due to insecurity issues (at least that's the typical cause)? or, a relationship where you follow what your body had been physiologically intended to do and at the same time expand your deeper connections to more people in an expansive, positive way?

up until this relationship with my wife, i never would've been able to swing. i wouldn't have been able to handle seeing her with another guy. i had been insecure in my relationships, a common factor with most people in not wanting to swing. however, after letting go of my own insecurities, now not only have i opened myself to the experience, but it's actually improved our love life as we learn new things from other couples and the reminiscing of certain experiences we've had turns us both on.

i believe to each his own and respect everyones wishes, but i also believe that monogamy is not necessarily ideal for our mind, body, and especially our spirit and soul.

[Carlos_E]

you seem to be a very set-minded individual carlos. either that or simply very closed minded, but i'm trying to be optimistic here. you should try to open your mind to other states of being, as from what i've read from other posts of yours, the arguments you get into with people seem to come from you jumping to conclusions and taking things personally against your own ideals. you seem like you're either a scorpio or a taurus, but maybe i'm wrong.

my wife is not a f*ck buddy cause our relationship goes far deeper than what we experience with others. if she was only a f*ck buddy, than what would differenciate her between the other people we swing with? to us, sex is not what a relationship is about. to us, it's about the emotion and the connection. we just have such a strong connection that goes well beyond just the physical that we don't need to isolate the sex part to make ourselves feel better.

why do we have monogamous relationships anyway? it goes against all our evolutionary and physiological foundations of our being. the only reason so many people are stuck on monogamy is because that's what's "socially acceptable". however, even when in a monogamous relationship, people still desire others, you just resist the urges. in other words, monogamy forces us to go against our natural instincts.

so, what is a healthier relationship? one where you go against natural instincts, conflicting with your own mind and body, and isolating your connection to one person due to insecurity issues (at least that's the typical cause)? or, a relationship where you follow what your body had been physiologically intended to do and at the same time expand your deeper connections to more people in an expansive, positive way?

up until this relationship with my wife, i never would've been able to swing. i wouldn't have been able to handle seeing her with another guy. i had been insecure in my relationships, a common factor with most people in not wanting to swing. however, after letting go of my own insecurities, now not only have i opened myself to the experience, but it's actually improved our love life as we learn new things from other couples and the reminiscing of certain experiences we've had turns us both on.

i believe to each his own and respect everyones wishes, but i also believe that monogamy is not necessarily ideal for our mind, body, and especially our spirit and soul.

I started my post with "I don't understand open relationships." That is why I asked the f uck buddy question.

In my opinion when you have a committed relationship with someone. You give yourself to them emotionally as well as physically. When I am in love and committed to someone, I have no desire to be with someone else. That's just how I am.

The people that I know that are in open relationships, it's usually one person who wants it and the other person follows along. They are afraid of losing their partner and do it to make them happy. I ask them are they happy with the situation. They say no, they would prefer to be monogamous "but my partner wants this so that's how it is."

[Carlos_E]

I enjoyed that post. Ascendant has sense and he's a good communicator. I'd like to add....hey Carlos, with all due respect, and I do respect you, I think ascendant is "right on" about your habit of "jumping to conclusions" and seeming to have "an axe to grind." When a person is fearful of differences in others he is said to be "xenophobic." I think diversity isn't to be feared, judged, or attacked rather it's a challenge to the imagination to try to understand, empathize and to open up to other "modes of being (which sounds like an existential phrase)." In the latter case, that would be a constructive choice. This is what's great about humanity is it's great diversity. This is great for the individual too, because it means he can choose to imagine and if he chooses to imagine he can eventually empathize with all humans....this is what brings us together and this is what gives us freedom to change ourselves as individuals.

I read about half of the first sentence of your post and didn't bother to read the rest. It has nothing to do with my question to Ascendant.

[Mike Dura]

Sorry to hear that dude because it has everything to do with What ascendant said in his blurb and it's a valuable message. Maybe you just missed it again or you jumped to a conclusion before giving it a chance (the same point we're trying to get to you, ironically). Sorry again for the misunderstanding. I gave it a try and my intentions are good by you.

I read about half of the first sentence of your post and didn't bother to read the rest. It has nothing to do with my question to Ascendant.

[ascendant]

In my opinion when you have a committed relationship with someone. You give yourself to them emotionally as well as physically. When I am in love and committed to someone, I have no desire to be with someone else. That's just how I am.

The people that I know that are in open relationships, it's usually one person who wants it and the other person follows along. They are afraid of losing their partner and do it to make them happy. I ask them are they happy with the situation. They say no, they would prefer to be monogamous "but my partner wants this so that's how it is."

in response to the first paragraph above, maybe for you, one person is enough for you to focus on, and again, to each his own. some people just look for a more expansive concept. do you feel that with one person, you're able to express all aspects of yourself and truly learn all there is to learn in life? if so, that's great, and i'd say "if it aint broke, don't fix it".

for me personally, i just think it's a limited concept that isolates you in a sense from experiences due to, once again, what's socially acceptable. but for some, one person is more than enough for them to learn from, and dealing with more than one person can be too much for them to take in. i however have had many relationships prior to my wife, and each relationship had taught me important lessons. i know the lessons for me to learn from my wife are limited though, and expanding our relationship is a way for us to learn more life lessons through others and eliminating the "isolation" in some aspects which is caused by monogamy. in a sense, it's kind of a "spiritual acceleration of consciousness" beyond what everyday life typically limits you to. then again, acceleration of consciousness is what's causing many people nowadays panic attacks, so again, i know very well my kind of mindset is certainly not for everyone. just trying to show where i'm at on all this and that it's not just a "i want to have more sex with more people" kind of thing, though i must admit, that's a nice perk too, lol.

now, onto your second paragraph, i do know of some swingers like that as well. the ones who are though usually don't last. i'll also admit i know swinging has torn some couples apart. again, it takes a very secure relationship and understanding on both sides for it to work. regardless of swinging or not, either a relationship will work, or it won't. swinging is just one of the many aspects in a relationship that people either need to agree on or agree to disagree to make it work.

good luck on finding yourself a swinging partner mike. if you do manage to, pm me and let me know, cause i used to live in NY (on long island as well) and know of a couple swingers clubs around there you guys could hit. there's also a good website to sign up onto to meet people which is free, though you don't tend to find swinging females looking for partners on there. it's more for couples that are already together.

[NotSmall]

I enjoyed that post. Ascendant has sense and he's a good communicator. I'd like to add....hey Carlos, with all due respect, and I do respect you, I think ascendant is "right on" about your habit of "jumping to conclusions" and seeming to have "an axe to grind." When a person is fearful of differences in others he is said to be "xenophobic." I think diversity isn't to be feared, judged, or attacked rather it's a challenge to the imagination to try to understand, empathize and to open up to other "modes of being (which sounds like an existential phrase)." In the latter case, that would be a constructive choice. This is what's great about humanity is it's great diversity. This is great for the individual too, because it means he can choose to imagine and if he chooses to imagine he can eventually empathize with all humans....this is what brings us together and this is what gives us freedom to change ourselves as individuals.

It's funny, ascendant's post was longer but yours seemed alot longer and gave me a headache!

Please don't take offence Mike, I know you mean well and I have no animosity towards you but seriously read the above post over and see if you think the construction of it flows coherently. It's typical of your writing style and is like you just typed away as different thoughts occurred to you and as a result it just doesn't read well IMO.

Also it's a bit naughty the way you popped "quote marks" around "an axe to grind" because it makes it sound as if ascendant said it which he did not.

[Carlos_E]

It's funny, ascendant's post was longer but yours seemed alot longer and gave me a headache!

Please don't take offence Mike, I know you mean well and I have no animosity towards you but seriously read the above post over and see if you think the construction of it flows coherently. It's typical of your writing style and is like you just typed away as different thoughts occurred to you and as a result it just doesn't read well IMO.

Also it's a bit naughty the way you popped "quote marks" around "an axe to grind" because it makes it sound as if ascendant said it which he did not.

Good. It's not just me. I started reading thought huh? and skipped it. Sorry.

[Mike Dura]

I take no offense. I have read it over and it flows coherently. All of the thoughts are on point and clear. Quote marks around "axe to grind" indicates that it's a cliche. Quotes can be used for that reason as well. But I should get into the habit of being more plain spoken. I also have other boards I go to and it's a different audience there. I'm learning that my writing style doesn't work with this board. That's why I suggested jokingly that Tock be your translater. Sorry about that bro. It's just a habit and I have to be more flexible and more conscious of my audience.

It's funny, ascendant's post was longer but yours seemed alot longer and gave me a headache!

Please don't take offence Mike, I know you mean well and I have no animosity towards you but seriously read the above post over and see if you think the construction of it flows coherently. It's typical of your writing style and is like you just typed away as different thoughts occurred to you and as a result it just doesn't read well IMO.

Also it's a bit naughty the way you popped "quote marks" around "an axe to grind" because it makes it sound as if ascendant said it which he did not.

[NotSmall]

I take no offense.

Good

I have read it over and it flows coherently.

Sorry, but it does not.

All of the thoughts are on point and clear.

Do Carlos and I both strike you as being of low intelligence?

Quote marks around "axe to grind" indicates that it's a cliche. Quotes can be used for that reason as well.

I'm well aware of that but in the context you used them it comes across as if you're quoting ascendent.

But I should get into the habit of being more plain spoken. I also have other boards I go to and it's a different audience there. I'm learning that my writing style doesn't work with this board. That's why I suggested jokingly that Tock be your translater. Sorry about that bro. It's just a habit and I have to be more flexible and more conscious of my audience.

You sound as if you think you are too intelligent for us, I do not need a translator thankyou, I am perfectly capable of comprehending something that is written coherently.

[Mike Dura]

Does it flow coherently? You're gonna have to ask TOCK!!! LoL.

No I don't think anyone here is less intelligent than I am. But what do you mean by intelligence? Do you mean psychometric intelligence (e.g., IQ or GRE, SAT, where a score is judged against a population of scores)? Do you mean a mode of intelligence? (e.g., linguistic, mathematical, spacial relational, interpersonal, intrapersonal, musical). Do you mean practically? In the broadest sense intelligence is adapting to your environment. Or do you mean emotionally intelligent (See Daniel Goleman). All of the above are ways of thinking about intelligence. I've never met you and all I have to go on is this text in front of me. And even if I have met you, without testing you with some kind of instrument (e.g., GRE) any impression of your intelligence would be just that (impressionistic). I'm impressed by the diversity of intelligences (plural) over anything called intelligence (singular). And I think if anyone feels like they can tell what is (or is not) intelligence, they are oversimplifying. It's ironic that the more you learn about something the more doubt and uncertainty you have to tolerate when giving an oppinion on it. But one thing I am certain about, it's clear that you feel that my writing doesn't make sense and I respect your feelings and I appreciate your feedback.

Good


Sorry, but it does not.


Do Carlos and I both strike you as being of low intelligence?


I'm well aware of that but in the context you used them it comes across as if you're quoting ascendent.


You sound as if you think you are too intelligent for us, I do not need a translator thankyou, I am perfectly capable of comprehending something that is written coherently.

[Mike Dura]

Does it flow coherently? You're gonna have to ask TOCK!!! LoL.

No I'm not trying to one-up anyone here. Do I think I'm more intelligent than you? What do you mean by intelligence? Do you mean psychometric intelligence (e.g., IQ or GRE, SAT, where a score is judged against a population of scores)? Do you mean a mode of intelligence? (see Howard Gardner: e.g., linguistic, mathematical, spacial relational, interpersonal, intrapersonal, musical). Do you mean practical intelligence (see Robert Sternberg)? Sternbergs practical intelligence relates to intelligence in the broadest sense which is defined by merely adapting to your environment. Or do you mean emotionally intelligent (See Daniel Goleman). The practice of meditation may help you master your emotions and mastered emotions always means improved cognitive performance. All of the above are ways of thinking about intelligence.

I've never met you and all I have to go on is your written text. And even if I have met you, without testing you with some kind of instrument (e.g., GRE) any impression of your intelligence would be just that (impressionistic). Even if I were able to test you, any test is limited because a test always reduces intelligence into a kind of focus. What's lost is a broader picture. For example, there are people who score low average on IQ tests that fuction really high in society. Conversely, there are people who score high on IQ tests that push brooms for a living. Motivation is a part of it. Take the case of a so-called "idiot savant." These are people with low IQ's that generally function poorly but are over practiced with a particular skill or within a particular domain (see the move "Rainman"). Overpractice within a domain (e.g., chess) leads to superior performance irrespective of general funtioning.

I'm impressed by the diversity of intelligences (plural) over anything called intelligence (singular). And I think if anyone feels like they can tell what intelligence is (or is not), he or she is oversimplifying. It's ironic that the more you learn about something the more doubt and uncertainty you have to tolerate when giving an oppinion on it.

But one thing I am certain about, it's clear that you feel that my writing doesn't make sense and I respect your feelings and I appreciate your feedback. And as you might have concluded, I don't give quick simple answers unless you meet me in day to day life. Here on AR however, I'm my alter ego! The hair splitting, oversexed, Super-irritant!

Good


Sorry, but it does not.


Do Carlos and I both strike you as being of low intelligence?


I'm well aware of that but in the context you used them it comes across as if you're quoting ascendent.


You sound as if you think you are too intelligent for us, I do not need a translator thankyou, I am perfectly capable of comprehending something that is written coherently.

[NotSmall]

Just to clarify, it's not that I think what you write doesn't make sense exactly, more that it is sometimes written in a disorganised (rambling) style.

BTW the second incarnation of your last post was better than the previous version IMO!