No Idea what to do.

**carguy_z28** · 01-03-2007, 10:26 PM

Hey guys, Another woman problem. Now, Ive been dating this girl Dyanne for about 3 months now, and I like her, and everything is going well. But I went home, ( manitoba ) for xmas, I now live in Calgary Alberta, Anyways, When I went home for the holiday, I seen a girl that I grew up with since we were like 3-4 years old, our families were close, both our fathers fought in 2 of the same wars, and her brother and myself inlisted as well together. Now, we never dated in high school, although I always wanted to ask her, but for some stupid reason I never did, and I moved away a few years ago and havent seen her since. Well, we visited a lot while I was there, like 10 days of the 2 weeks, spent a lot of time together, and had a lot of fun. The oportunity presented itself for my to sleep with her, and sadly enough, I did. Now, she is talking about moving up here, getting a job, she has a carrer and there is lots of her field of work up here so that wouldnt be a problem. The thing is, I would normaly love her to come up here. But like I said before, Im with someone, its going good, but I just dont know, Me and Michelle, we have a past together, and I dont want to blow the one and only chance that I have of being with her. But on the other hand, Dyanne, is a good girl, and I dont want to hurt her. Any ideas or sugjestions on what I should do here? No joking on nail the hotter one, or anything like that. Both are really gorgous. thanks again guys and gals.

**rafael** · 01-03-2007, 10:29 PM

dont date either one. my reasoning.... simple...if u pick the one youre with now...youll always have that "what if" ...and if u choose your old friend...u might loose an old friend...u see where im goin with this..id opt for option 3 and go find a new one :P but thats just me...anyways..good luck.

**mavsluva** · 01-03-2007, 10:38 PM

Being honest with the both of them would be a great start. A relationship is a two way street, and you owe it to all parties involved. I think you should ask yourself how you would take this type of news should a girl do this very same thing to you and then respond accordingly.

A long term committment should always take precedence over any and all short term desires. I'm interested in hearing how this one pans out.

Good luck!

**StoneGRMI** · 01-03-2007, 10:41 PM

I had a great long relationship with a girl that was a good friend since we were toddlers. It unfortunately came to an end with our careers taking us in different directions but we both still talk and have never put the possibility of something working down the road. You won't ruin a good friendship if it's truly a good friendship to start. I say give that one the try first!

**carguy_z28** · 01-03-2007, 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by mavsluva

Being honest with the both of them would be a great start. A relationship is a two way street, and you owe it to all parties involved. I think you should ask yourself how you would take this type of news should a girl do this very same thing to you and then respond accordingly.

A long term committment should always take precedence over any and all short term desires. I'm interested in hearing how this one pans out.

Good luck!

I do agree, but like I said, I already slept with Michelle. So If I tell Dyanne that, then Ill hurt her irregardless. And I agree with what you said about the long term commitment taking preedence. thats what I want, and I know Michelle does also, Im just not sure about the other one.

**carguy_z28** · 01-03-2007, 10:51 PM

Originally Posted by StoneGRMI

I had a great long relationship with a girl that was a good friend since we were toddlers. It unfortunately came to an end with our careers taking us in different directions but we both still talk and have never put the possibility of something working down the road. You won't ruin a good friendship if it's truly a good friendship to start. I say give that one the try first!

This is the way Im leaning, I just dont know how to do it without hurting the other.

***G-1000*** · 01-03-2007, 11:15 PM

you been going with her for 3 month. There should be no problems. if there are get rid of her and move on. Picture what problems you will have in 3 years

**needmorestrength** · 01-03-2007, 11:16 PM

Originally Posted by StoneGRMI

I had a great long relationship with a girl that was a good friend since we were toddlers. It unfortunately came to an end with our careers taking us in different directions but we both still talk and have never put the possibility of something working down the road. You won't ruin a good friendship if it's truly a good friendship to start. I say give that one the try first!

I say since hes already cheated on the one, and I dont know how he can look at the girls face who he cheated on, he should prolly go for the other

**StoneGRMI** · 01-03-2007, 11:19 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

I say since hes already cheated on the one, and I dont know how he can look at the girls face who he cheated on, he should prolly go for the other

Ahh yes. The ol' buffalo theory. The slowest shall be killed! What?

**Carlos_E** · 01-04-2007, 12:58 AM

Originally Posted by carguy_z28

Hey guys, Another woman problem. Now, Ive been dating this girl Dyanne for about 3 months now, and I like her, and everything is going well. But I went home, ( manitoba ) for xmas, I now live in Calgary Alberta, Anyways, When I went home for the holiday, I seen a girl that I grew up with since we were like 3-4 years old, our families were close, both our fathers fought in 2 of the same wars, and her brother and myself inlisted as well together. Now, we never dated in high school, although I always wanted to ask her, but for some stupid reason I never did, and I moved away a few years ago and havent seen her since. Well, we visited a lot while I was there, like 10 days of the 2 weeks, spent a lot of time together, and had a lot of fun. The oportunity presented itself for my to sleep with her, and sadly enough, I did. Now, she is talking about moving up here, getting a job, she has a carrer and there is lots of her field of work up here so that wouldnt be a problem. The thing is, I would normaly love her to come up here. But like I said before, Im with someone, its going good, but I just dont know, Me and Michelle, we have a past together, and I dont want to blow the one and only chance that I have of being with her. But on the other hand, Dyanne, is a good girl, and I dont want to hurt her. Any ideas or sugjestions on what I should do here? No joking on nail the hotter one, or anything like that. Both are really gorgous. thanks again guys and gals.

Did you tell Michelle you have a gf back home? First off you cheated on Dyanne. You should tell her the truth and give her the choice whether or not she wants to continue dating. Now if Michelle knew you had a gf and slept with you anyway is that the type of woman you want to have a long term relationship with? Her knowing you are a cheater she should have doubts starting a relationship with you. I'm guessing you didn't tell her if she is considering moving to be with you.

**needmorestrength** · 01-04-2007, 01:00 AM

Originally Posted by Carlos_E

Did you tell Michelle you have a gf back home? First off you cheated on Dyanne. You should tell her the truth and give her the choice whether or not she wants to continue dating. Now if Michelle knew you had a gf and slept with you anyway is that the type of woman you want to have a long term relationship with? Her knowing you are a cheater she should have doubts starting a relationship with you. I'm guessing you didn't tell her if she is considering moving to be with you.

Hmmmm smart man

**firmechicano831** · 01-04-2007, 01:37 AM

start here. Post a pic of the two and we decide for you. Second of all, which ones is cutter and loves sex? So please post pics and lets get started on number one right away.

**Carlos_E** · 01-04-2007, 01:52 AM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

start here. Post a pic of the two and we decide for you. Second of all, which ones is cutter and loves sex? So please post pics and lets get started on number one right away.

**Chitown Raider** · 01-04-2007, 02:09 AM

Bro, it is evident that you have feelings for Michelle. Cause if you had feelings for Dyanne you would have never hit that. Bottom line is who go with the the one who makes you happy.

**Bigen12** · 01-04-2007, 06:48 AM

I have one piece of advice......

Threesome!!!

Seriously though like Carlos said, come clean.

**Z12** · 01-04-2007, 07:31 AM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

I say since hes already cheated on the one, and I dont know how he can look at the girls face who he cheated on, he should prolly go for the other

Yea, how could you go back with the 3 month girl. You ended it by cheating on her - it's over. You can't lie to her for the rest of the relationship as if it never happened. The cardinal rule for all relationships is no cheating. You already did, so be done with it, telll her the truth and end it. As for the childhood friend girl, do some investigation into her past since you know her family/friends. Is she a slut? Or is she relationship material?If you could be in a relationship with her, I don't think you are obligated to tell her about the 3 month girl. Good luck.

**carguy_z28** · 01-04-2007, 08:18 AM

I hate to do it, but you guys are probably right, lll have to tell her what I did and end it. Im not usually the type who will cheat, but no exuses, I did it. And Michelle is not a slut. She does want kids, family and all that. As do I. So I think that is what Ill do. Thanks guys. PS. Today is my Birthday, so Ill have to wait till tomorow. Ill be to hammered to say the right things today

**tinyguy2** · 01-04-2007, 08:20 AM

why not jsut do both of them?

**beuleux** · 01-04-2007, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

start here. Post a pic of the two and we decide for you. Second of all, which ones is cutter and loves sex? So please post pics and lets get started on number one right away.

LOL I was just about to type that when I saw your post... would that count as parroting

**king6** · 01-04-2007, 09:14 AM

Probably shouldn't have cheated on her.

**carguy_z28** · 01-04-2007, 09:41 AM

Yeah, I kinda figured that.

**carguy_z28** · 01-04-2007, 09:42 AM

How do I post pics? Ill try to, but I havent done it before so I dont know what to do.

**gixxerboy1** · 01-04-2007, 10:06 AM

I would break it off with Dyanne. You cheated on her so she must not be that important to you. Also I would not tell her you cheated. If you do have some feelings towards her why hurt her more. Saying you slept with another girl will only crush her. She doesn't need the details.

**NightTrain** · 01-04-2007, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

I would break it off with Dyanne. You cheated on her so she must not be that important to you. Also I would not tell her you cheated. If you do have some feelings towards her why hurt her more. Saying you slept with another girl will only crush her. She doesn't need the details.

i will second this, dont tell dyanne you cheated, just tell her that its not gona work out and move on. no reason hurting her anymore than you have already done.

**Mizfit** · 01-04-2007, 11:26 AM

break up with D - do not tell her u cheated..

Why hurt her more than she is already going to hurt? to cure your own conscience?

Break up with her, tell her things aren't working out and see where the new relationship goes.

**needmorestrength** · 01-04-2007, 11:38 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

break up with D - do not tell her u cheated..

Why hurt her more than she is already going to hurt? to cure your own conscience?

Break up with her, tell her things aren't working out and see where the new relationship goes.

thats true!!! Id prolly follow that advice

**stayinstacked** · 01-04-2007, 11:42 AM

I'd stay with Dianne and play the other one off as an irresponsible fling you had on vacation. You've been with the one now for 3 months and you two are getting along great, the other one was some childhood shit that came into the picture because you were on Vacation and bored, quit kidding yourself. Plus, the situation your in right now is better, you two are growing together, living near each other, spending quality time together. Dianne isnt some chick you hung out with for 10 days then nailed, then wants to move in with you and change her whole life around just to come down there, which with only 2 weeks hanging out isn't a good idea. The grass isnt always greener on the other side, if the relationship your in now is working out great, I'd stay with it.

**mavsluva** · 01-04-2007, 11:52 AM

[QUOTE=Mizfit]break up with D - do not tell her u cheated..

Why hurt her more than she is already going to hurt? to cure your own conscience?

QUOTE]

Being honest with yourself and to others allows you to position yourself to be forgiven. If you can do this, then you will be able to digest the pain and stress much quicker. This is just as important to her because if he fails to ask for forgiveness and she later finds out the truth, then she will carry a grudge forever. Not only with him, but with every other guy that she dates moving foward.

Countries, nationalities, and races are still lacking peace between each other because of events that took place many years ago. Heck, we as humans carry grudges and negative attitudes towards events and people due to events that took place before we existed that don't even directly affect us! This lack of peace will remain until one side forgives the other.

Carguy - do what's right TODAY so you won't have to stress about it for all of those TOMORROW's. I encourage you to read up on the subject of "grace".

Good luck!

**carguy_z28** · 01-06-2007, 12:22 PM

Ok guys, took your advice and told her. Its over. I didnt tell her I cheated, just said it wasnt working out and that I am not in the state of mind for a relationship and to not take it personaly, she cried a bit, but took it well I think.

**Fordfan01** · 01-06-2007, 01:52 PM

good to hear so wats up with the new women now?

**abstrack** · 01-06-2007, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by Gsxxr

you been going with her for 3 month. There should be no problems. if there are get rid of her and move on. Picture what problems you will have in 3 years

Ditto, but remember to give her a good bye facial!