anybody ever gone thru depression, or difficult times in their life?

[Alex Rodriguez]

anybody here want to talk about a depression paranoia, or any difficult period in there life that they'd like to talk about?

to start off, i was diagnosed with major childhood depression as a kid, i'm not undergoing any depression like that at all anymore, i had a horrible time dealing with people and being around people, and pretty much just thinking about myself. I still am pretty traumtised by it, and it is pretty suppressed, so that i really don't remember too many things about. But anyways now depression free, the psychirist i was seeing for insomnia seems to think i am showing signs of cyclothymia a mild verison of bipolar, but honestly i don't know. the one she's really been able to base it upon is that she believes i have hypomanic episodes.

anyways what about u, and make this a serious thread.

[bpm1]

ive been diagnosed alot of diff things, OCD, bi-polar, manic depressive, mild psychotic disorder, and the mosr recent and probably the most accurate is chronic anxiety disorder.ive spent most of my life depressed or anxious even as a small child.i have learned to cope without meds at this point i just deal with it as meds have a whole mountain of issues that arise after time. i feel for u bro but dont expect people to understand u or give u simpathy i never really talk about it except in anonomous settings such as this or with VERY trusted and close friends/family. GL my brotha i hope u get through it all ok, one day at a time..................

[Panzerfaust]

The last 9 months and NO I do not wanna talk to anybody about it.

[bpm1]

The last 9 months and NO I do not wanna talk to anybody about it.

if u can find a SAFE person to share with it helps. what ive found is most people dont have a clue about depression and anxiety and therefore have NO sympathy and usually will deride or belittle u if u do open up, GL murilo i hope u get through it ok, pm me if u need to vent or get it off ur chest

[l2elapse]

been through it twice, once during 10th grade and first year of freshman college, both due to women

[unclemoney]

I was diagnosed with bipolar, was takin meds... Now I don't take jack sh!t and I'm better than f'n ever...

One thing i discovered is... The sh!t you feel, every1 else has felt it in there life (maybe just not on such a severe level or as frequently).

But from that I learnt how to deal with the stupid sh!t, now I'm loving life, enjoying the hell outa it!!!

[bpm1]

I was diagnosed with bipolar, was takin meds... Now I don't take jack sh!t and I'm better than f'n ever...

One thing i discovered is... The sh!t you feel, every1 else has felt it in there life (maybe just not on such a severe level or as frequently).

But from that I learnt how to deal with the stupid sh!t, now I'm loving life, enjoying the hell outa it!!!

i disagree with this statement as ive found most havnet dealt with depression or anxiety on a large scale. getting depressed or anxious for an hr or two does not compare in any way to dealing with it everyday without a break, i am not trying to argue with u at all, i just feel very strongly about this as this has been my life

[Hoggage_54]

I have an anxiety disorder and have been on Paxil since I was 16. I'm 22 now.

[Bojangles69]

You'll find I'm a little bit too opiniated for my own good when people post things like this.
And I'm not speaking to anyone specific, only to those who think this applies to and may benefit from.
Only because I've been through more shit than anyone my age (and I know a few people). I had the childhood trauma shit. Got involved in some of the worst drugs you can between 16-19. Was sentenced to 7 years in prison. And I'm from a regular middle class neighborhood and come off like your typical fun loving white boy from the burbs. So a lot of people are usually shocked when they get to know me and find out my past.
I was diagnosed with probably everything you can think of. I'm not going to sit here and make a list only for the fact that I think one of the biggest crutches people with a disorder have is the NAME OF THIER DISORDER.

They go see someone who is educated in the field and they say well your bi-polar (manic-depressive) or uni-polar (depressed) or have social anxiety or some psychosis or w/e. And the BIGGEST problem in the world is that people who actually have these disorders don't understand what thier disorder really is. They may understand SYMPTOMS of it, but they don't know wtf "IT" really is or how to get rid of it. So they in a way start to live up to what they think thier disorder should be. And thier REALITY will BECOME thier disorder.
I major in psychology and love it. And I plan on doing therapy and the whole 9 and diagnosing people. A lot of people have the misconception that all a shrink is - is someone who just went to school for a long time and read a lot of books and now they can tell someone specifically how thier fvcked up and even give them a fancy label to refer to thier fvcked up condition with.
Thats just what I call a large scale method of creating mass learned helplessness. And a lot of people don't know thier shrinks past or the fact that theres a good chance they were just as if not MORE fvcked up than you.

As a psychologist you need to learn how to view any situation as objectively as possible. That often requires stepping out of someones issues to take a larger view of thier life and possible roots of thier condition.
But I'm yet to be tought how to step outside this century and look at modern problems in comparison to past prevalences in mental disorders.
So I taught myself all this shit.
The fact is mental disorders are becoming more common, more acceptable, and are as a whole detaching from the many stigmas that use to accompany them.
The FIRST basic fact one is:
ANYONE who is diagnosed with ANY kind of disorder should BE IN therapy RIGHT NOW so they can explore thier "disorder" from an objective stand point and come up with thier own beliefs about thier disorder.
I CAN NOT FVCKING STAND, and I see this shit SOOO MUCH is people who say I'm "depressed" or I was diagnosed with ADD or this or that and THEY ARE NOT EVEN IN FVCKING THERAPY??! WTF!!
"Oh but I'm taking paxil or zoloft or aderal." That DOESN'T MEAN SHIT.

I think the way the whole system works is ridiculous honestly. And even if you are in therapy 40 mins a week if thats all your doing to help yourself you need to open your eyes and stop fvcking yourself in the ass.

You need to realize theres a high probality that you need to take a HUGE responsiblity for claims you make about yourself. If you are depressed any single spare minute you have you should be working on your depression.

You should ask yourself a thousand times a day "Why am I depressed"?

Its not rocket science. Answers will start to come your way like: I don't like my job or my wife or my life or the way I look or the fact I haven't got laid in 5 years. YOU need to really do a research project on yourself.

Once you find these issues you need to WORK on them and dedicate yourself whole heartedly. Get a book on NLP. Learn psychology for yourself. Understand psychology is not to be taken as dogma. There is much room for error in what you think now and what the truth really is. If you have a problem, DO NOT hide from it. Chances are you will die of old age before it does. That is why you must face and kill it when you are still alive.

All I know is I was thrown in a room one day at the most fvcked up point of my life and all I could think about is how messed up *I* was and how I would never make it. And I didn't have my meds, or my family, or a therapist to talk to, or even a tv.
I couldn't leave the room.
I was locked in that room with myself. And I realized the worst thing in that room was ME. Nothing was going to take me away from me but ME. So I sat on the floor thinking of a million and 1 ways to kill myself. I got up and got on the bed and just started shaking from all the shit I was putting MYSELF through.

All I remember is I just snapped and a rush of wind than I was out. I woke up on the floor with someone trying to squeeze food through the hole in the door.

I stumbled over to the food and realized, I just charged the wall head first and tried to snap my neck. But it didn't work at all. And when I was at the worst time in my life, and was more than ready to give up, I couldn't.

I knew I'd be locked in that room 24 hours a day for the next 9 days and that something had to change because this whole thought process in my head just wasn't working anymore. As much as I thought I needed some meds, or a shrink to talk to, or this or that I realized all I needed was me. And for ME to CHANGE the way I think and make it my goal everyday to work on that untill I could live in my head like I wanted to.

So I'm not advising you of anything specific. But I do think a lot of the time the sad fact is as much as we hope someone else can help us out of our pain and sorrow a lot of the time its up to US as INDIVIDUALS to take control of our own lives and to say ok. NOTHING matters but my own health right now. My wife, my dog, my family, I love them all. But they are not whats important right now.
And they would want me to be happy more than anyone in the world but only I (YOU) truely have the power to change MY (YOUR) life. People barely have enough power to make thier own lives they way they really want, so you need to see the energy imbalance and really step up in your own life.

I can't tell you exactly how or what to do. Thats something you'll discover along the way. But what I see too much is the system or society breaking people down so much BECAUSE deep down people really want to believe in thier society or the system or the way things work, and the fact is they just don't (work that is).

I'm not saying a single person should listen to what I write. You can just read it and think for yourself and make your own decisions. But thats just my take on things.

[bpm1]

You'll find I'm a little bit too opiniated for my own good when people post things like this.
And I'm not speaking to anyone specific, only to those who think this applies to and may benefit from.
Only because I've been through more shit than anyone my age (and I know a few people). I had the childhood trauma shit. Got involved in some of the worst drugs you can between 16-19. Was sentenced to 7 years in prison. And I'm from a regular middle class neighborhood and come off like your typical fun loving white boy from the burbs. So a lot of people are usually shocked when they get to know me and find out my past.
I was diagnosed with probably everything you can think of. I'm not going to sit here and make a list only for the fact that I think one of the biggest crutches people with a disorder have is the NAME OF THIER DISORDER.

They go see someone who is educated in the field and they say well your bi-polar (manic-depressive) or uni-polar (depressed) or have social anxiety or some psychosis or w/e. And the BIGGEST problem in the world is that people who actually have these disorders don't understand what thier disorder really is. They may understand SYMPTOMS of it, but they don't know wtf "IT" really is or how to get rid of it. So they in a way start to live up to what they think thier disorder should be. And thier REALITY will BECOME thier disorder.
I major in psychology and love it. And I plan on doing therapy and the whole 9 and diagnosing people. A lot of people have the misconception that all a shrink is - is someone who just went to school for a long time and read a lot of books and now they can tell someone specifically how thier fvcked up and even give them a fancy label to refer to thier fvcked up condition with.
Thats just what I call a large scale method of creating mass learned helplessness. And a lot of people don't know thier shrinks past or the fact that theres a good chance they were just as if not MORE fvcked up than you.

As a psychologist you need to learn how to view any situation as objectively as possible. That often requires stepping out of someones issues to take a larger view of thier life and possible roots of thier condition.
But I'm yet to be tought how to step outside this century and look at modern problems in comparison to past prevalences in mental disorders.
So I taught myself all this shit.
The fact is mental disorders are becoming more common, more acceptable, and are as a whole detaching from the many stigmas that use to accompany them.
The FIRST basic fact one is:
ANYONE who is diagnosed with ANY kind of disorder should BE IN therapy RIGHT NOW so they can explore thier "disorder" from an objective stand point and come up with thier own beliefs about thier disorder.
I CAN NOT FVCKING STAND, and I see this shit SOOO MUCH is people who say I'm "depressed" or I was diagnosed with ADD or this or that and THEY ARE NOT EVEN IN FVCKING THERAPY??! WTF!!
"Oh but I'm taking paxil or zoloft or aderal." That DOESN'T MEAN SHIT.

I think the way the whole system works is ridiculous honestly. And even if you are in therapy 40 mins a week if thats all your doing to help yourself you need to open your eyes and stop fvcking yourself in the ass.

You need to realize theres a high probality that you need to take a HUGE responsiblity for claims you make about yourself. If you are depressed any single spare minute you have you should be working on your depression.

You should ask yourself a thousand times a day "Why am I depressed"?

Its not rocket science. Answers will start to come your way like: I don't like my job or my wife or my life or the way I look or the fact I haven't got laid in 5 years. YOU need to really do a research project on yourself.

Once you find these issues you need to WORK on them and dedicate yourself whole heartedly. Get a book on NLP. Learn psychology for yourself. Understand psychology is not to be taken as dogma. There is much room for error in what you think now and what the truth really is. If you have a problem, DO NOT hide from it. Chances are you will die of old age before it does. That is why you must face and kill it when you are still alive.

All I know is I was thrown in a room one day at the most fvcked up point of my life and all I could think about is how messed up *I* was and how I would never make it. And I didn't have my meds, or my family, or a therapist to talk to, or even a tv.
I couldn't leave the room.
I was locked in that room with myself. And I realized the worst thing in that room was ME. Nothing was going to take me away from me but ME. So I sat on the floor thinking of a million and 1 ways to kill myself. I got up and got on the bed and just started shaking from all the shit I was putting MYSELF through.

All I remember is I just snapped and a rush of wind than I was out. I woke up on the floor with someone trying to squeeze food through the hole in the door.

I stumbled over to the food and realized, I just charged the wall head first and tried to snap my neck. But it didn't work at all. And when I was at the worst time in my life, and was more than ready to give up, I couldn't.

I knew I'd be locked in that room 24 hours a day for the next 9 days and that something had to change because this whole thought process in my head just wasn't working anymore. As much as I thought I needed some meds, or a shrink to talk to, or this or that I realized all I needed was me. And for ME to CHANGE the way I think and make it my goal everyday to work on that untill I could live in my head like I wanted to.

So I'm not advising you of anything specific. But I do think a lot of the time the sad fact is as much as we hope someone else can help us out of our pain and sorrow a lot of the time its up to US as INDIVIDUALS to take control of our own lives and to say ok. NOTHING matters but my own health right now. My wife, my dog, my family, I love them all. But they are not whats important right now.
And they would want me to be happy more than anyone in the world but only I (YOU) truely have the power to change MY (YOUR) life. People barely have enough power to make thier own lives they way they really want, so you need to see the energy imbalance and really step up in your own life.

I can't tell you exactly how or what to do. Thats something you'll discover along the way. But what I see too much is the system or society breaking people down so much BECAUSE deep down people really want to believe in thier society or the system or the way things work, and the fact is they just don't (work that is).

I'm not saying a single person should listen to what I write. You can just read it and think for yourself and make your own decisions. But thats just my take on things.

great post, i agree with wat uve said.im not seeing a shrink anymore and ive dumped all my meds, i have learned to cope with my probs with my mind and with maturity, im not saying im anxiety free (far from it) but im am coping in a sober mind as opposed to all the mind altering drugs. u deff have to find your own way with these issues, for some thats med free and for others its with the meds, i dont care as long as ur ok in ur skin.

[goodcents]

Hell I wanted to off myself everyday for years.

[Amorphic]

I'm in the social services field so I've seen a lot of disorders, depressed people and trauma. A lot of it is medicalization by pharmaceutical companies (anything you can think of nowadays has a magic pill for an answer) but a lot of people out there face genuine problems every day. I'm all for therapy or any means of helping anyone, ive been lucky enough in my life to have a relatively happy and stable time so far and i understand the people that havent.

[Expat]

You'll find I'm a little bit too opiniated for my own good when people post things like this.
And I'm not speaking to anyone specific, only to those who think this applies to and may benefit from.
Only because I've been through more shit than anyone my age (and I know a few people). I had the childhood trauma shit. Got involved in some of the worst drugs you can between 16-19. Was sentenced to 7 years in prison. And I'm from a regular middle class neighborhood and come off like your typical fun loving white boy from the burbs. So a lot of people are usually shocked when they get to know me and find out my past.
I was diagnosed with probably everything you can think of. I'm not going to sit here and make a list only for the fact that I think one of the biggest crutches people with a disorder have is the NAME OF THIER DISORDER.

They go see someone who is educated in the field and they say well your bi-polar (manic-depressive) or uni-polar (depressed) or have social anxiety or some psychosis or w/e. And the BIGGEST problem in the world is that people who actually have these disorders don't understand what thier disorder really is. They may understand SYMPTOMS of it, but they don't know wtf "IT" really is or how to get rid of it. So they in a way start to live up to what they think thier disorder should be. And thier REALITY will BECOME thier disorder.
I major in psychology and love it. And I plan on doing therapy and the whole 9 and diagnosing people. A lot of people have the misconception that all a shrink is - is someone who just went to school for a long time and read a lot of books and now they can tell someone specifically how thier fvcked up and even give them a fancy label to refer to thier fvcked up condition with.
Thats just what I call a large scale method of creating mass learned helplessness. And a lot of people don't know thier shrinks past or the fact that theres a good chance they were just as if not MORE fvcked up than you.

As a psychologist you need to learn how to view any situation as objectively as possible. That often requires stepping out of someones issues to take a larger view of thier life and possible roots of thier condition.
But I'm yet to be tought how to step outside this century and look at modern problems in comparison to past prevalences in mental disorders.
So I taught myself all this shit.
The fact is mental disorders are becoming more common, more acceptable, and are as a whole detaching from the many stigmas that use to accompany them.
The FIRST basic fact one is:
ANYONE who is diagnosed with ANY kind of disorder should BE IN therapy RIGHT NOW so they can explore thier "disorder" from an objective stand point and come up with thier own beliefs about thier disorder.
I CAN NOT FVCKING STAND, and I see this shit SOOO MUCH is people who say I'm "depressed" or I was diagnosed with ADD or this or that and THEY ARE NOT EVEN IN FVCKING THERAPY??! WTF!!
"Oh but I'm taking paxil or zoloft or aderal." That DOESN'T MEAN SHIT.

I think the way the whole system works is ridiculous honestly. And even if you are in therapy 40 mins a week if thats all your doing to help yourself you need to open your eyes and stop fvcking yourself in the ass.

You need to realize theres a high probality that you need to take a HUGE responsiblity for claims you make about yourself. If you are depressed any single spare minute you have you should be working on your depression.

You should ask yourself a thousand times a day "Why am I depressed"?

Its not rocket science. Answers will start to come your way like: I don't like my job or my wife or my life or the way I look or the fact I haven't got laid in 5 years. YOU need to really do a research project on yourself.

Once you find these issues you need to WORK on them and dedicate yourself whole heartedly. Get a book on NLP. Learn psychology for yourself. Understand psychology is not to be taken as dogma. There is much room for error in what you think now and what the truth really is. If you have a problem, DO NOT hide from it. Chances are you will die of old age before it does. That is why you must face and kill it when you are still alive.

All I know is I was thrown in a room one day at the most fvcked up point of my life and all I could think about is how messed up *I* was and how I would never make it. And I didn't have my meds, or my family, or a therapist to talk to, or even a tv.
I couldn't leave the room.
I was locked in that room with myself. And I realized the worst thing in that room was ME. Nothing was going to take me away from me but ME. So I sat on the floor thinking of a million and 1 ways to kill myself. I got up and got on the bed and just started shaking from all the shit I was putting MYSELF through.

All I remember is I just snapped and a rush of wind than I was out. I woke up on the floor with someone trying to squeeze food through the hole in the door.

I stumbled over to the food and realized, I just charged the wall head first and tried to snap my neck. But it didn't work at all. And when I was at the worst time in my life, and was more than ready to give up, I couldn't.

I knew I'd be locked in that room 24 hours a day for the next 9 days and that something had to change because this whole thought process in my head just wasn't working anymore. As much as I thought I needed some meds, or a shrink to talk to, or this or that I realized all I needed was me. And for ME to CHANGE the way I think and make it my goal everyday to work on that untill I could live in my head like I wanted to.

So I'm not advising you of anything specific. But I do think a lot of the time the sad fact is as much as we hope someone else can help us out of our pain and sorrow a lot of the time its up to US as INDIVIDUALS to take control of our own lives and to say ok. NOTHING matters but my own health right now. My wife, my dog, my family, I love them all. But they are not whats important right now.
And they would want me to be happy more than anyone in the world but only I (YOU) truely have the power to change MY (YOUR) life. People barely have enough power to make thier own lives they way they really want, so you need to see the energy imbalance and really step up in your own life.

I can't tell you exactly how or what to do. Thats something you'll discover along the way. But what I see too much is the system or society breaking people down so much BECAUSE deep down people really want to believe in thier society or the system or the way things work, and the fact is they just don't (work that is).

I'm not saying a single person should listen to what I write. You can just read it and think for yourself and make your own decisions. But thats just my take on things.

AFVCKINMEN!!! DITTO on all of the above

[xero]

You'll find I'm a little bit too opiniated for my own good when people post things like this.
And I'm not speaking to anyone specific, only to those who think this applies to and may benefit from.
Only because I've been through more shit than anyone my age (and I know a few people). I had the childhood trauma shit. Got involved in some of the worst drugs you can between 16-19. Was sentenced to 7 years in prison. And I'm from a regular middle class neighborhood and come off like your typical fun loving white boy from the burbs. So a lot of people are usually shocked when they get to know me and find out my past.
I was diagnosed with probably everything you can think of. I'm not going to sit here and make a list only for the fact that I think one of the biggest crutches people with a disorder have is the NAME OF THIER DISORDER.

They go see someone who is educated in the field and they say well your bi-polar (manic-depressive) or uni-polar (depressed) or have social anxiety or some psychosis or w/e. And the BIGGEST problem in the world is that people who actually have these disorders don't understand what thier disorder really is. They may understand SYMPTOMS of it, but they don't know wtf "IT" really is or how to get rid of it. So they in a way start to live up to what they think thier disorder should be. And thier REALITY will BECOME thier disorder.
I major in psychology and love it. And I plan on doing therapy and the whole 9 and diagnosing people. A lot of people have the misconception that all a shrink is - is someone who just went to school for a long time and read a lot of books and now they can tell someone specifically how thier fvcked up and even give them a fancy label to refer to thier fvcked up condition with.
Thats just what I call a large scale method of creating mass learned helplessness. And a lot of people don't know thier shrinks past or the fact that theres a good chance they were just as if not MORE fvcked up than you.

As a psychologist you need to learn how to view any situation as objectively as possible. That often requires stepping out of someones issues to take a larger view of thier life and possible roots of thier condition.
But I'm yet to be tought how to step outside this century and look at modern problems in comparison to past prevalences in mental disorders.
So I taught myself all this shit.
The fact is mental disorders are becoming more common, more acceptable, and are as a whole detaching from the many stigmas that use to accompany them.
The FIRST basic fact one is:
ANYONE who is diagnosed with ANY kind of disorder should BE IN therapy RIGHT NOW so they can explore thier "disorder" from an objective stand point and come up with thier own beliefs about thier disorder.
I CAN NOT FVCKING STAND, and I see this shit SOOO MUCH is people who say I'm "depressed" or I was diagnosed with ADD or this or that and THEY ARE NOT EVEN IN FVCKING THERAPY??! WTF!!
"Oh but I'm taking paxil or zoloft or aderal." That DOESN'T MEAN SHIT.

I think the way the whole system works is ridiculous honestly. And even if you are in therapy 40 mins a week if thats all your doing to help yourself you need to open your eyes and stop fvcking yourself in the ass.

You need to realize theres a high probality that you need to take a HUGE responsiblity for claims you make about yourself. If you are depressed any single spare minute you have you should be working on your depression.

You should ask yourself a thousand times a day "Why am I depressed"?

Its not rocket science. Answers will start to come your way like: I don't like my job or my wife or my life or the way I look or the fact I haven't got laid in 5 years. YOU need to really do a research project on yourself.

Once you find these issues you need to WORK on them and dedicate yourself whole heartedly. Get a book on NLP. Learn psychology for yourself. Understand psychology is not to be taken as dogma. There is much room for error in what you think now and what the truth really is. If you have a problem, DO NOT hide from it. Chances are you will die of old age before it does. That is why you must face and kill it when you are still alive.

All I know is I was thrown in a room one day at the most fvcked up point of my life and all I could think about is how messed up *I* was and how I would never make it. And I didn't have my meds, or my family, or a therapist to talk to, or even a tv.
I couldn't leave the room.
I was locked in that room with myself. And I realized the worst thing in that room was ME. Nothing was going to take me away from me but ME. So I sat on the floor thinking of a million and 1 ways to kill myself. I got up and got on the bed and just started shaking from all the shit I was putting MYSELF through.

All I remember is I just snapped and a rush of wind than I was out. I woke up on the floor with someone trying to squeeze food through the hole in the door.

I stumbled over to the food and realized, I just charged the wall head first and tried to snap my neck. But it didn't work at all. And when I was at the worst time in my life, and was more than ready to give up, I couldn't.

I knew I'd be locked in that room 24 hours a day for the next 9 days and that something had to change because this whole thought process in my head just wasn't working anymore. As much as I thought I needed some meds, or a shrink to talk to, or this or that I realized all I needed was me. And for ME to CHANGE the way I think and make it my goal everyday to work on that untill I could live in my head like I wanted to.

So I'm not advising you of anything specific. But I do think a lot of the time the sad fact is as much as we hope someone else can help us out of our pain and sorrow a lot of the time its up to US as INDIVIDUALS to take control of our own lives and to say ok. NOTHING matters but my own health right now. My wife, my dog, my family, I love them all. But they are not whats important right now.
And they would want me to be happy more than anyone in the world but only I (YOU) truely have the power to change MY (YOUR) life. People barely have enough power to make thier own lives they way they really want, so you need to see the energy imbalance and really step up in your own life.

I can't tell you exactly how or what to do. Thats something you'll discover along the way. But what I see too much is the system or society breaking people down so much BECAUSE deep down people really want to believe in thier society or the system or the way things work, and the fact is they just don't (work that is).

I'm not saying a single person should listen to what I write. You can just read it and think for yourself and make your own decisions. But thats just my take on things.

Thanks bojangles. Very valuable post.

[DSM4Life]

Lets just say from 19-25 i lived my life for other people. Finally at 26 i could care less about what others think and not i live my life for me.

[Amorphic]

Lets just say from 19-25 i lived my life for other people. Finally at 26 i could care less about what others think and not i live my life for me.

Very valuable thing to learn, takes people a long time to learn that one

[DSM4Life]

Very valuable thing to learn, takes people a long time to learn that one

I know. Some don't learn until they are in the 40's !! I guess i can consider myself lucky.

[Sir Lifts-a-lot]

Best advice is find a therpaist that you are comfortable with. I was suicidal from January 2006 through March of 2007. My guy kept me from actually doing it. I was in a horrible depression after I walked in on my fiance in bed banging some guy.

It won't work unless you want to change. Thank God I made the decision to. I am no where near complete with the long journey back but probably about 90% of the way there. I have recently moved out of state and have been shopping shrinks and have not found one I like yet, but I know I will.

It will get better!!!! The past will not, and should not be erased from your memory, but you will be able to look back on it. I still think about Erin on a daily basis with fond memories, but that night still puts chills throughout my body. Oh, and Xanax is a gift from god for the anxiety!

[DSM4Life]

Best advice is find a therpaist that you are comfortable with. I was suicidal from January 2006 through March of 2007. My guy kept me from actually doing it. I was in a horrible depression after I walked in on my fiance in bed banging some guy.

It won't work unless you want to change. Thank God I made the decision to. I am no where near complete with the long journey back but probably about 90% of the way there. I have recently moved out of state and have been shopping shrinks and have not found one I like yet, but I know I will.

It will get better!!!! The past will not, and should not be erased from your memory, but you will be able to look back on it. I still think about Erin on a daily basis with fond memories, but that night still puts chills throughout my body. Oh, and Xanax is a gift from god for the anxiety!

Man that has to be hard.

[Sir Lifts-a-lot]

Man that has to be hard.

Yes it is, but I have gotten through some of the darker days and lived to tell about them.

Don't be afraid to ask for help either. If I didn't I can honestly say I would not be alive right now. It is nothing to be ashamed of in the least.

Lately I have been getting a little depressed since Erin's birthday is coming up and two years ago is when I proposed to her. Really sucks, but I WILL BE ALRIGHT. I may cry, but I WILL BE ALRIGHT. And so will you in time.

[Bojangles69]

Lets just say from 19-25 i lived my life for other people. Finally at 26 i could care less about what others think and not i live my life for me.

Thats a HUGE thing to admit and takes a truley insightful mind to realize.

I'm 25 now and I'm still learning how to live for myself. And I realized like a whole 3 years ago thats what I needed to do. So it can def be a longer process for some.

But in the end as long as I'm focused on the right things and working towards them its not as big a deal anymore where I am exactly at the moment.

& *you're welcome* to anyone who liked my post.

[Tock]

Depression. Yep, I know about that.

When it really gets ya, it's like a hurricane of sadness roaring through your mind.

To make a long story short, I finally talked to a shrink when I was 30. Twice weekly sessions for about a year. Turns out, it really was my parent's fault. That realization along with a gym membership (exercise is good) made a big difference for me. Plus, I got pretty good at debating the pants off of obnoxious fundamentalists, and that always makes me feel better . . .

[Bojangles69]

Yes it is, but I have gotten through some of the darker days and lived to tell about them.

Don't be afraid to ask for help either. If I didn't I can honestly say I would not be alive right now. It is nothing to be ashamed of in the least.

Lately I have been getting a little depressed since Erin's birthday is coming up and two years ago is when I proposed to her. Really sucks, but I WILL BE ALRIGHT. I may cry, but I WILL BE ALRIGHT. And so will you in time.

There ARE good therapists out there.

And something I should note is the one I saw for 4 years (who I still see on occasion) I actually didn't like when I first met, so it can be tricky at times. But once he got to really know me, it was literally like going to a twin brother who just always knew the right thing to say.

So TIME can be a big factor too.
And yeh you may cry, and its not a big or small deal if you do. W/e happens happens & noone can tell you what the right reaction for YOU will be.

But the same way you're growing now, you may find yourself in a relationship with a woman who makes you glad Erin did what she did. Just try not to carry any negative energy you had with her into a new relationship. All PEOPLE are different, that means all women are different too.

Not rocket science I know but when all the pieces of the puzzle fit together and you look back on your life one day, things oddly may fit together, maybe sometimes with rough edges, but when you see that picture you'll know YOU are complete & things happened for a reason that you may not understand at this time in your life.

[dedic8ed1]

Enjoy
Part 1
A little bit about me

Part 2
A little bit about me/Chapter 2 -Starting over with nothing

[dedic8ed1]

You'll find I'm a little bit too opiniated for my own good when people post things like this.
And I'm not speaking to anyone specific, only to those who think this applies to and may benefit from.
Only because I've been through more shit than anyone my age (and I know a few people). I had the childhood trauma shit. Got involved in some of the worst drugs you can between 16-19. Was sentenced to 7 years in prison. And I'm from a regular middle class neighborhood and come off like your typical fun loving white boy from the burbs. So a lot of people are usually shocked when they get to know me and find out my past.
I was diagnosed with probably everything you can think of. I'm not going to sit here and make a list only for the fact that I think one of the biggest crutches people with a disorder have is the NAME OF THIER DISORDER.

They go see someone who is educated in the field and they say well your bi-polar (manic-depressive) or uni-polar (depressed) or have social anxiety or some psychosis or w/e. And the BIGGEST problem in the world is that people who actually have these disorders don't understand what thier disorder really is. They may understand SYMPTOMS of it, but they don't know wtf "IT" really is or how to get rid of it. So they in a way start to live up to what they think thier disorder should be. And thier REALITY will BECOME thier disorder.
I major in psychology and love it. And I plan on doing therapy and the whole 9 and diagnosing people. A lot of people have the misconception that all a shrink is - is someone who just went to school for a long time and read a lot of books and now they can tell someone specifically how thier fvcked up and even give them a fancy label to refer to thier fvcked up condition with.
Thats just what I call a large scale method of creating mass learned helplessness. And a lot of people don't know thier shrinks past or the fact that theres a good chance they were just as if not MORE fvcked up than you.

As a psychologist you need to learn how to view any situation as objectively as possible. That often requires stepping out of someones issues to take a larger view of thier life and possible roots of thier condition.
But I'm yet to be tought how to step outside this century and look at modern problems in comparison to past prevalences in mental disorders.
So I taught myself all this shit.
The fact is mental disorders are becoming more common, more acceptable, and are as a whole detaching from the many stigmas that use to accompany them.
The FIRST basic fact one is:
ANYONE who is diagnosed with ANY kind of disorder should BE IN therapy RIGHT NOW so they can explore thier "disorder" from an objective stand point and come up with thier own beliefs about thier disorder.
I CAN NOT FVCKING STAND, and I see this shit SOOO MUCH is people who say I'm "depressed" or I was diagnosed with ADD or this or that and THEY ARE NOT EVEN IN FVCKING THERAPY??! WTF!!
"Oh but I'm taking paxil or zoloft or aderal." That DOESN'T MEAN SHIT.

I think the way the whole system works is ridiculous honestly. And even if you are in therapy 40 mins a week if thats all your doing to help yourself you need to open your eyes and stop fvcking yourself in the ass.

You need to realize theres a high probality that you need to take a HUGE responsiblity for claims you make about yourself. If you are depressed any single spare minute you have you should be working on your depression.

You should ask yourself a thousand times a day "Why am I depressed"?

Its not rocket science. Answers will start to come your way like: I don't like my job or my wife or my life or the way I look or the fact I haven't got laid in 5 years. YOU need to really do a research project on yourself.

Once you find these issues you need to WORK on them and dedicate yourself whole heartedly. Get a book on NLP. Learn psychology for yourself. Understand psychology is not to be taken as dogma. There is much room for error in what you think now and what the truth really is. If you have a problem, DO NOT hide from it. Chances are you will die of old age before it does. That is why you must face and kill it when you are still alive.

All I know is I was thrown in a room one day at the most fvcked up point of my life and all I could think about is how messed up *I* was and how I would never make it. And I didn't have my meds, or my family, or a therapist to talk to, or even a tv.
I couldn't leave the room.
I was locked in that room with myself. And I realized the worst thing in that room was ME. Nothing was going to take me away from me but ME. So I sat on the floor thinking of a million and 1 ways to kill myself. I got up and got on the bed and just started shaking from all the shit I was putting MYSELF through.

All I remember is I just snapped and a rush of wind than I was out. I woke up on the floor with someone trying to squeeze food through the hole in the door.

I stumbled over to the food and realized, I just charged the wall head first and tried to snap my neck. But it didn't work at all. And when I was at the worst time in my life, and was more than ready to give up, I couldn't.

I knew I'd be locked in that room 24 hours a day for the next 9 days and that something had to change because this whole thought process in my head just wasn't working anymore. As much as I thought I needed some meds, or a shrink to talk to, or this or that I realized all I needed was me. And for ME to CHANGE the way I think and make it my goal everyday to work on that untill I could live in my head like I wanted to.

So I'm not advising you of anything specific. But I do think a lot of the time the sad fact is as much as we hope someone else can help us out of our pain and sorrow a lot of the time its up to US as INDIVIDUALS to take control of our own lives and to say ok. NOTHING matters but my own health right now. My wife, my dog, my family, I love them all. But they are not whats important right now.
And they would want me to be happy more than anyone in the world but only I (YOU) truely have the power to change MY (YOUR) life. People barely have enough power to make thier own lives they way they really want, so you need to see the energy imbalance and really step up in your own life.

I can't tell you exactly how or what to do. Thats something you'll discover along the way. But what I see too much is the system or society breaking people down so much BECAUSE deep down people really want to believe in thier society or the system or the way things work, and the fact is they just don't (work that is).

I'm not saying a single person should listen to what I write. You can just read it and think for yourself and make your own decisions. But thats just my take on things.

Bo I can see your a very intelligent individual and have obviously found a way within yourself to make life better.People should listen to this cause truer words were never spoken.I too have found the ability to be healthier mentally when at my lowest point in life and for some people like me and you we have to lose everything to get everything.Your alright Bo and I'm happy to be apart of the same board as you bro.

Please check out my first post in this thread.