The ultimate test of self control: By J-Dogg

[J-Dogg]

As a young man, I use to shovel snow in the yard, squares. I did not do it to see the grass; I did it to see if I could do it.

I recall as a young boy, cutting my entire yard with my scissors from my pencil box.

As a way to test my inner spirit, I wore my sister chic jeans to school, just to get ridicule from the kids, it fueled my inner rage.

In an attempt to be consistent with my daily routine in high school, every day I put a coat of paint on a rock in a different color. The paint is still being applied and is 19” thick.

All these task, easy, a walk in the park hombre.

The ultimate test? How do I not let my ex come over when she is offering butt sex.
Thus far, the best solution I came up with was, take 2 sleep aids and wash them down with 2 shots of Nyquil. Please let them kick in soon before I call the scorpion woman.

[JDawg1536]

Rub one out.... quick!

[StoneGRMI]

Call her...quick!

[RuhlFreak55]

i'm too deprived to tell you not to.....i'd pay good money for butt sex

[scibble]

what's wrong with the scorpion woman?

[T_Own]

call herrrrr.

sleep aids do nothing for me.. i try to sleep but they don't help! 5 and nothing...

btw, those are more tedious tasks than anything... why not shovel peoples driveways and make money rather than shovel your yard lol

[firmechicano831]

do her hard!

[gst528i]

easy!! rub 3 of them out...

[Kale]

Why dont you want butt sex with your ex ? Are you holding out for DSM ?

[JiGGaMaN]

Probably the greatest intro of all time. Rather than have her over for butt sex, just drug yourself, turn the lights off, and stick your dick in a peanut butter container.

If that doesnt work, you must use your previous skills to your advantage:
Use a shovel to dig holes in the yard up to your door.
Use the scissors to snip the phone line
If she makes it past the first two, be sure to be wearing your sisters pants and tell her you are gay for dsm.
If all else fails, hit her in the head with the painted rock.

[Ernst]

If scorpion woman wants to give it up then let her. Throw her out unceremoniously right after you cum.

[run_n_fool]

[legobricks]

Probably the greatest intro of all time. Rather than have her over for butt sex, just drug yourself, turn the lights off, and stick your dick in a peanut butter container.

If that doesnt work, you must use your previous skills to your advantage:
Use a shovel to dig holes in the yard up to your door.
Use the scissors to snip the phone line
If she makes it past the first two, be sure to be wearing your sisters pants and tell her you are gay for dsm.
If all else fails, hit her in the head with the painted rock.

HAhahahahaha

Thats awesome!

[T_Own]

Probably the greatest intro of all time. Rather than have her over for butt sex, just drug yourself, turn the lights off, and stick your dick in a peanut butter container.

If that doesnt work, you must use your previous skills to your advantage:
Use a shovel to dig holes in the yard up to your door.
Use the scissors to snip the phone line
If she makes it past the first two, be sure to be wearing your sisters pants and tell her you are gay for dsm.
If all else fails, hit her in the head with the painted rock.

woowwowowowow funniest thing i've read in a while

and people say your posts are useless... classic right there

[J-Dogg]

10 A.M.
I just woke up from a mild self induced comma.

[T_Own]

well you're lucky. 10 A.M and i'm about to take a little nap before work... all nighter because i can't sleep and there was some amazing tennis on

[Matt]

What is up with poeple, get it up her ass, stick some fingers up there dude. If your bored with it try different things, the tv remote, your arm, your foot., your pet parrot. Come on man spice things up lol....
Take photos and pm them to me.

[RuhlFreak55]

What is up with poeple, get it up her ass, stick some fingers up there dude. If your bored with it try different things, the tv remote, your arm, your foot., your pet parrot. Come on man spice things up lol....
Take photos and pm them to me.

you do know he's trying not to have meaningless sex of late right?

[BritishColumbian]

WOW, that is all, just WOW

[Matt]

you do know he's trying not to have meaningless sex of late right?

I know, i just want those photos

[J-Dogg]

It's not that I don't WANT too. I'm very sexually attracted to her. I just know she is not good for me. As pretty as she may be, her life does not match mine.

Sleep with her, she'll assume things are fine. Next thing you know, she's attacking a girl I'm with or somthing.

[spywizard]

Only have booty calls at her place, and make sure you clean off by wiping unit off using her curtains, or bed spread, and do not stay more than 10 minutes after you nut..

after all.. that's why they call it a booty call..

[J-Dogg]

Only have booty calls at her place, and make sure you clean off by wiping unit off using her curtains, or bed spread, and do not stay more than 10 minutes after you nut..

after all.. that's why they call it a booty call..

I would LOVE too bro, seriously. Last time she wanted to talk she wore these little pink sweat pants that were kinda tight.

You CANNOT give into the scorpion woman though! Look into those blue bambi eyes and she has her stinger lingering behind you ready to inject you with her stinger!

I programed her into my phone as "Scorpion Woman" just to remind me of the evil that lurks behind the beauty!

[scibble]

i wanna hear more about the evil of the scorpion woman...

please...tell me about the evil. PLEASE

[J-Dogg]

i wanna hear more about the evil of the scorpion woman...

please...tell me about the evil. PLEASE

Well honestly, she is one of the most beautiful girls I've actually met. Tan, blonde, has really big blue eyes. Her face and body is that of a cartoon girl's off a disney movie really is the best way to describe her.

Honestly if she was smarter, she could make it through life with out working a day in her life just off her looks. I'd be happy to support her if she was not so evil.

She is SUPER emotional. We broke up a year ago, since then she has called girls I've seen and made threats, such as cutting thier fingers off, cutting break lines, garbage slicing them (Not sure what that is). She drug one girl out of my house by her hair. The worse part it was a 110lb 5'3" 20 year old blonde little hottie. But that blonde little hottie stuck it out and i dated her for 3 months after.

I'm just trying to move past the evil girls and move forward with a good girl. I've met one that's really into me. Works for the state, is going to school to get her masters, is tall, tan, bright blue eyes, round tits and ass. But I know this scorpion woman can chase her off. She's a really good catch, but I can tell she won't tolerate the drama Scorpion Woman can provide. She'd be too proud to get a PPO on the S.W. too.

[scibble]

how does she magically obtain name and phone numbers of girls you see?

well, sounds like you're not hurting for blond lil hotties. I def wouldn't have the self control you have. Hook me up with scorpion woman; I want to face the evil...

LMAO

[scibble]

what's a "PPO on the S.W." ?

[gst528i]

lol i love scorpion woman ...

[T_Own]

for real.. give me that number, i'm not afraid of a little stinger.

but she seems a little out of her mind. assert yourself and tell her how it goes. or just call her when you want some.. either one works.

and i'm with scibble, whats that mean?

[scibble]

googled: PPO = Personal Protection Order, a form of restraining order.

SW...

Ahhhhh!... she would be too proud to get a personal protection order on the scorpion woman.

so yeah. you mean scorion b1tch wont accept your ultimatum? i.e. she want a piece of you she have to back off your ladies?

[JiGGaMaN]

What is up with poeple, get it up her ass, stick some fingers up there dude. If your bored with it try different things,

i agree.

[amcon]

did you really wear your sisters jeans to school??? dude that is over the top - did she kick your ass for that?

[J-Dogg]

did you really wear your sisters jeans to school??? dude that is over the top - did she kick your ass for that?

I did wear my sister chic jeans to school in 3rd grade. I did not know they were girl jeans, lol.

[Dobie-BOY]

Dude, blow ur nose in ur hand. And wipe it on ur dik for lube then blow your load in her asss, then stick ur pecker in her mouth. If she still comes back next time I think she's a keeper.

[Phate]

Dude, blow ur nose in ur hand. And wipe it on ur dik for lube then blow your load in her asss, then stick ur pecker in her mouth. If she still comes back next time I think she's a keeper.

that is just sick...i'm gonna have to try it sometime

[scibble]

eewwww?

[Dobie-BOY]

Ya, kinda messy, but fun.

[BuffBuffalo]

Dude, blow ur nose in ur hand. And wipe it on ur dik for lube then blow your load in her asss, then stick ur pecker in her mouth. If she still comes back next time I think she's a keeper.

ROFL

[tadpoleboyy]

take her out for mexican food or mcdonalds for something nasty n greasy. You wont want to go near her ass afterwards

[briancb1]

Just go for broke and tell her you want a 3 some, if she says yes then have fun if she gets pissed, you avoided that one completely.