How much of a difference does being buff make in getting the girl?

**BuffedGuy** · 02-04-2009, 02:54 AM

So here is the deal: There is a girl I'm very interested in. She doesn't know I exist at this point in time. I've been searching for "the one" for years, and I finally found her. I believe in "the thunderbolt", and I was hit by a thunderbolt when I saw her.

Keep in mind that since I am an orthodox Muslim, it is an all or nothing sort of deal. We marry based on "bio-data" and not through an extensive relationship. Unfortunately, the requirements I have for what I want in a wife are incredibly stringent: I wanted a girl who has never been in a relationship before, who is extremely beautiful (to the point of flawlessness), who dresses modestly, and a few other things. Finding a girl who is both extremely beautiful and modest/conservative is like finding bigfoot, but I finally found a girl who fits the criteria (after years of searching).

I say all of this just to express how badly I want this girl. I've heard the "there are plenty of fish in the sea" phrase again and again, and I am saying that the type of fish I want is an extremely rare species...long story short (or short story long since I'm known for long posts), I want this girl.

Here's the thing: she's 18 years old and about to start university...I need to move in for the kill before she starts...the reason is that a girl like that is going to be swarmed by competitors from the schools MSA (Muslim Student's Association), which is jokingly called the Muslim Singles Association. I want to swoop in for the kill before anyone else...

Now the problem is this: I'm a decent looking guy. I'd say on a scale of 1-10, I'd be a 7, if I were to judge myself, lol. Not extraordinary Brad Pitt kind of guy, but I'd say above average. And although maybe normal girls wouldn't think I'm something special, when it comes to religious girls--well, let's just say my friends joke that I have a hijabi fan club. OK, so the problem is that I used to be a pretty buffed up guy...nothing compared to most people here probably, but I was always the biggest guy in the room most times...I spent some time in Pakistan, and over there I could even tell people I was Mr. Pakistan and they'd believe it, lol.

But the last two years I've slacked and got totally out of shape...stopped hitting weights altogether. I got fat, but I've burned off all the fat (lost about 30 lb). Now I'm just skinny. Well, I look normal now...except that my biceps are so small that it's quite embarrassing, since I've never been like this since entering university. I'm going to hit the weights again in a couple months, God-Willing. I can't start up again before that due to a variety of reasons. With muscle memory and what not, I think I can get buffed up again within 6 months, if I go all out.

So basically, the dilemma is: should I hold off Operation Hijabi Storm for 6 months, or should I just move in now? (Remember: she is starting university soon, and I *know* that she won't last long with the MSA issue.) Long time ago, someone told me that girls think I'm pretty good-looking, but because I was so muscular, I went from a 7 to a 9 in their eyes due to Shock and Awe effect.

To the main question then: how much of a difference does being buff really make? I'm talking about being the biggest guy in the room. Keep in mind that when I would go to the gym, I'd be one of the smaller guys there, but in any other setting, I'd usually be the biggest. But right now I'm just normal sized, i.e. NOT buffed. Is being buff really a significant factor in getting the girl, or is it all just placebo mental effect, i.e. boost in confidence? Is it worth waiting off till I regain my size, or move in now? Keep in mind that if I get burned now, it will be incredibly hard (although not impossible) to re-try later. Also there is the issue of first impressions being the most important.

Let me know your thoughts. Please ignore the way orthodox Muslims get married...that's not the topic of this thread. I just want to know how much of a difference it makes being buff to get a girl who is considered extremely beautiful.

Thanks for your input.

**scibble** · 02-04-2009, 03:14 AM

My opinion, it depends on the girl. You suggested that your girl of interest is a very rare species of fish. So, how can anyone tell you how important to her is muscular hypertrophy? Some beautiful women find it important. I know that others do not. You're not talking about being ugly vs. handsome, but rather just being buff; definitely some girls will not even like that.

Does she get to see you? or she get a list of your physical stats?

My personal opinion is: go in for the Storm immediately. I do not know how quickly is the process taking for converting your announcement of interest into a meeting, but no amount of buffing yourself up will compensate your loss should she be snapped up by a skinny nerdy little nuclear engineer.

T minus ten seconds and counting....

**stocky121** · 02-04-2009, 03:21 AM

depends on the girl really some like muscles some hate it just depends

try mate and see what she says? If she says no then so **** who cares if she says yes then your in there lifes to short to care about what other people think

**drummerofgod87** · 02-04-2009, 03:23 AM

Generally, the hotter girl is or at least thinks she is, the more she likes buff guys. This is the trend I've seen. Now let me go into detail on this. When I say hot, I mean when you see this woman, you immediately look at her like a sex object kind of hot. I am not talking about sweet-looking, cute, classically beautiful or pretty. I'm talking about I-want-to-pin-you-against-a-table-and-piitb hot. I'm guessing these women want bodybuilders so much because they're so much like themselves in that they put a lot of effort into their bodies. Bodybuilders and hot women can be two of the cockiest groups known to man, so they just fit together. I've also found that women who like to have sex more (which tend to be hotter chicks) tend to like buff guys more.

**Voland** · 02-04-2009, 03:24 AM

my opinion is looks (for a guy) mind very little if not zero.
but here is the trick (the why). Girl get what you most show.
If you are confident in who ever you are you'll be liked no matter what you do/say/think/buffed. BUT if you are not, you better have some good looks, or power, or money/fame (cos thats your only distinctive trait).

btw, i like very much the kind of girls you describe. I call them girls. lol.

**Lightsout2184** · 02-04-2009, 03:47 AM

well in this situation u have painted for us it seems like u have no choice but to act now. if she is leaving she is leaving and it sounds like someone else will bag her if you wait. i know what u mean though im about to start a cycle so i been just setting girls up for later. if you have a lot of money that can replace the muscles. i would just hit her up now and just start training when u can. by the time things get real serious u will be ripped and everyone will be happy.

**BuffedGuy** · 02-04-2009, 04:07 AM

Originally Posted by scibble

So, how can anyone tell you how important to her is muscular hypertrophy?

Yeah, I realize that every girl is different. Just looking for general trends here.

definitely some girls will not even like that.

My feeling is that some girls *say* that, but they don't really mean it. I know that sounds silly, but I'll elaborate when I reply to drummerofGod.

Does she get to see you? or she get a list of your physical stats?

She'll see me. I'll probably insert myself into some situation where she gets to see me and get to know of me...then I'll probably ask someone to ask someone else to ask someone else to ask someone else to ask someone to ask her friend to ask her if she likes me. LOL That's how it works. I know that stuff doesn't fly in the West, but that's how it is done in the brown guy community.

My personal opinion is: go in for the Storm immediately. I do not know how quickly is the process taking for converting your announcement of interest into a meeting, but no amount of buffing yourself up will compensate your loss should she be snapped up by a skinny nerdy little nuclear engineer.

T minus ten seconds and counting....

Deploying troops...

Originally Posted by stocky121

try mate and see what she says? If she says no then so **** who cares if she says yes then your in there lifes to short to care about what other people think

I am having such a difficult time finding girls who fit my requirements that I cannot say "who cares" about this right now. I really do care. I want to give it my 100%, and the rest of course is out of my control.

Originally Posted by drummerofgod87

Generally, the hotter girl is or at least thinks she is, the more she likes buff guys. This is the trend I've seen. Now let me go into detail on this. When I say hot, I mean when you see this woman, you immediately look at her like a sex object kind of hot. I am not talking about sweet-looking, cute, classically beautiful or pretty. I'm talking about I-want-to-pin-you-against-a-table-and-piitb hot. I'm guessing these women want bodybuilders so much because they're so much like themselves in that they put a lot of effort into their bodies. Bodybuilders and hot women can be two of the cockiest groups known to man, so they just fit together. I've also found that women who like to have sex more (which tend to be hotter chicks) tend to like buff guys more.

I agree with you 100%. This is also the theory I worked out. Every time I've heard a girl say "oh I don't like buff guys", it's always a not that amazing girl. I mean, she might be pretty like you say, but not "smoking hot." I was engaged to a smoking hot girl before (it broke off), and she told me literally that she went for me just because I was big. So that's the main reason why I'm doubting myself right now, due to the fact that I'm an ant right now.

And the girl I'm currently seeking is uber beautiful...thunder-bolt!

Sigh, but there is the time constraint. I just know how the MSA works, and she'll be a fiercely fought over commodity due to her unique combination of traits. Also, I have no idea what university she will go to, so it will be easier if I strike now, whilst she still lives nearby.

So I'm thinking I'll go for it, but I am really going with a lower confidence than I normally have. I'm seriously not used to being so small...I'm used to being the big guy. But anyways, thanks for your input. I concur with your theorem. Let us call it the Buffed-Drummer Theory.

Originally Posted by Voland

my opinion is looks (for a guy) mind very little if not zero.
but here is the trick (the why). Girl get what you most show.
If you are confident in who ever you are you'll be liked no matter what you do/say/think/buffed. BUT if you are not, you better have some good looks, or power, or money/fame (cos thats your only distinctive trait).

I thank you for your advice, but I am going to have to differ here. I think looks matter a lot. When we apply for medical residencies, the first thing they look at is your USMLE score. If you make the cut, they'll then look at all the other factors. But if you don't make the minimum cut-off, you're a goner. I think it's the same thing with looks.

Originally Posted by Lightsout2184

well in this situation u have painted for us it seems like u have no choice but to act now. if she is leaving she is leaving and it sounds like someone else will bag her if you wait. i know what u mean though im about to start a cycle so i been just setting girls up for later. if you have a lot of money that can replace the muscles. i would just hit her up now and just start training when u can. by the time things get real serious u will be ripped and everyone will be happy.

Alright, sounds good. Thanks for the advice.

Thanks everyone for the advice. Keep em coming. Still haven't decided 100%, but leaning towards acting now.

**JiGGaMaN** · 02-04-2009, 04:50 AM

i talk with girls all the time about this sort of stuff. i havent found any that think muscle size means shit all. if you are good looking, girls are attracted to you. bottom line. only physical factor other than height is body fat. low bodyfat = more attractive.

dont put too much thought into this girl until you guys start dating etc. if you get all infatuated with the girl and it doesnt work out, you will be a very unhappy guy. its happened to me, i dont want that to happen to you. be smart, be cool, dont be too pushy and see where this goes. best of luck.

**Matt** · 02-04-2009, 05:56 AM

Just becareful not to get caught in that bush outside her bedroom window with your pants down. I dont know why but chicks dont like that and if her dad catches you he will cut your nuts off.

Why not write her a letter? I will help you compose it, im good at this, ive wrote 5 letters to 5 different girls in the past with great success, only 3 pressed charges..

**alex18** · 02-04-2009, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by MAD MATT

Just becareful not to get caught in that bush outside her bedroom window with your pants down. I dont know why but chicks dont like that and if her dad catches you he will cut your nuts off.

Why not write her a letter? I will help you compose it, im good at this, ive wrote 5 letters to 5 different girls in the past with great success, only 3 pressed charges..

Getting caught int he bushes matt?? now that sounds like a story!!!

i think you should move now if shes attracted to you it wont make any difference if your more buff.... surely you of all people would understand that the personality of a person is probably more important than the looks (in the long run!) Go get her tiger!

***D7M*** · 02-04-2009, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by JiGGaMaN

i talk with girls all the time about this sort of stuff. i havent found any that think muscle size means shit all. if you are good looking, girls are attracted to you. bottom line. only physical factor other than height is body fat. low bodyfat = more attractive.

dont put too much thought into this girl until you guys start dating etc. if you get all infatuated with the girl and it doesnt work out, you will be a very unhappy guy. its happened to me, i dont want that to happen to you. be smart, be cool, dont be too pushy and see where this goes. best of luck.

I'm just quoting jigga, cuz this is what I was thinking too.

everyone is right so far, it depends on the girl if she likes muscles. I've actually had girls tell me they specifically *don't* like guys with muscles.

In the end, it's about confidence tho.

Put the operation into effect, Buff

**Dukkit** · 02-04-2009, 07:19 AM

go for it now

muscles dont mean jack

i used to be 6'3 165 pounds. do you know how skinny that is? fukkin skinny. and i could get chicks no problem. hot chicks. sexy chicks. fun chicks. all sorts of chicks

meeting someone is about who you are. your past, your present and future. not just your body build. if your fun, charismatic, outgoing, skinny... your chances of picking up a chick up are 10 fold over a guy who is built like a brick house but all he cares about his himself and his muscles.

so dont let the lack of muscle hold you back. if you like her. go for it. simple as that.

muscles have nothing to do with getting a girl. and if ppl on this board say they do. then they are self reliant on their muscles, which is sad.

if theres a connection. it will be there through thick and thin (muscles lol)

***RAGE*** · 02-04-2009, 07:47 AM

I would say go for it...buff you have the power of the mind.....

**jimmyinkedup** · 02-04-2009, 08:02 AM

no diff at all in most cases....

**ghettoboyd** · 02-04-2009, 08:32 AM

Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

go for it now

muscles dont mean jack

i used to be 6'3 165 pounds. do you know how skinny that is? fukkin skinny. and i could get chicks no problem. hot chicks. sexy chicks. fun chicks. all sorts of chicks

meeting someone is about who you are. your past, your present and future. not just your body build. if your fun, charismatic, outgoing, skinny... your chances of picking up a chick up are 10 fold over a guy who is built like a brick house but all he cares about his himself and his muscles.

so dont let the lack of muscle hold you back. if you like her. go for it. simple as that.

muscles have nothing to do with getting a girl. and if ppl on this board say they do. then they are self reliant on their muscles, which is sad.

if theres a connection. it will be there through thick and thin (muscles lol)

well said bro,you are wise for your years.

**calgarian** · 02-04-2009, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by BuffedGuy

So here is the deal: There is a girl I'm very interested in. She doesn't know I exist at this point in time. I've been searching for "the one" for years, and I finally found her. I believe in "the thunderbolt", and I was hit by a thunderbolt when I saw her.

Keep in mind that since I am an orthodox Muslim, it is an all or nothing sort of deal. We marry based on "bio-data" and not through an extensive relationship. Unfortunately, the requirements I have for what I want in a wife are incredibly stringent: I wanted a girl who has never been in a relationship before, who is extremely beautiful (to the point of flawlessness), who dresses modestly, and a few other things. Finding a girl who is both extremely beautiful and modest/conservative is like finding bigfoot, but I finally found a girl who fits the criteria (after years of searching).

I say all of this just to express how badly I want this girl. I've heard the "there are plenty of fish in the sea" phrase again and again, and I am saying that the type of fish I want is an extremely rare species...long story short (or short story long since I'm known for long posts), I want this girl.

Here's the thing: she's 18 years old and about to start university...I need to move in for the kill before she starts...the reason is that a girl like that is going to be swarmed by competitors from the schools MSA (Muslim Student's Association), which is jokingly called the Muslim Singles Association. I want to swoop in for the kill before anyone else...

Now the problem is this: I'm a decent looking guy. I'd say on a scale of 1-10, I'd be a 7, if I were to judge myself, lol. Not extraordinary Brad Pitt kind of guy, but I'd say above average. And although maybe normal girls wouldn't think I'm something special, when it comes to religious girls--well, let's just say my friends joke that I have a hijabi fan club. OK, so the problem is that I used to be a pretty buffed up guy...nothing compared to most people here probably, but I was always the biggest guy in the room most times...I spent some time in Pakistan, and over there I could even tell people I was Mr. Pakistan and they'd believe it, lol.

But the last two years I've slacked and got totally out of shape...stopped hitting weights altogether. I got fat, but I've burned off all the fat (lost about 30 lb). Now I'm just skinny. Well, I look normal now...except that my biceps are so small that it's quite embarrassing, since I've never been like this since entering university. I'm going to hit the weights again in a couple months, God-Willing. I can't start up again before that due to a variety of reasons. With muscle memory and what not, I think I can get buffed up again within 6 months, if I go all out.

So basically, the dilemma is: should I hold off Operation Hijabi Storm for 6 months, or should I just move in now? (Remember: she is starting university soon, and I *know* that she won't last long with the MSA issue.) Long time ago, someone told me that girls think I'm pretty good-looking, but because I was so muscular, I went from a 7 to a 9 in their eyes due to Shock and Awe effect.

To the main question then: how much of a difference does being buff really make? I'm talking about being the biggest guy in the room. Keep in mind that when I would go to the gym, I'd be one of the smaller guys there, but in any other setting, I'd usually be the biggest. But right now I'm just normal sized, i.e. NOT buffed. Is being buff really a significant factor in getting the girl, or is it all just placebo mental effect, i.e. boost in confidence? Is it worth waiting off till I regain my size, or move in now? Keep in mind that if I get burned now, it will be incredibly hard (although not impossible) to re-try later. Also there is the issue of first impressions being the most important.

Let me know your thoughts. Please ignore the way orthodox Muslims get married...that's not the topic of this thread. I just want to know how much of a difference it makes being buff to get a girl who is considered extremely beautiful.

Thanks for your input.

Oh I know exactly what r u talking about. I dated few of them while they kept thinking I am going marry them.(i know I am sick).
Confidence is the key........ur appearance matters. I agree with dukkit go for it. Here is the issue you dont know what she likes and what she dont. Religious girls ( u know the type I am talking about) well most of them wont even talk to u in the begining and north america tricks wont work on them so u have to go to Majnoo(i hope u know what that means) tricks.

Try to find out as much as you could about her without being sound like a stocker. What she like what she doesnt, how many brothers how many sisters. what her father does etc. Pm me if u need more detail

And good luck.

**redz** · 02-04-2009, 09:56 AM

Chicks definitely like when guys take care of themselves. Confidence is a big part of the equasion too when I am in great shape I feel on top of the world less stressed and things just go my way. I can remember times when I went on vacation and had girls litterally sexually assaulting me (not that I was complaining) If I hadnt been looking good then though would it have happened? I dunno but those were different type of girls not relationship material for sure. Sometimes in life you just have to go for it.

**Dukkit** · 02-04-2009, 10:02 AM

Originally Posted by redz

Chicks definitely like when guys take care of themselves. Confidence is a big part of the equasion too when I am in great shape I feel on top of the world less stressed and things just go my way. I can remember times when I went on vacation and had girls litterally sexually assaulting me (not that I was complaining) If I hadnt been looking good then though would it have happened? I dunno but those were different type of girls not relationship material for sure. Sometimes in life you just have to go for it.

yeah but was it cuz your good looks? or muscles? you can look good and not have muscles...

and your body type is the same as mine. almost exact height and weight etc.

but i dont consider myself big. so that means your charactor and looks come into factor.

im a good lookin guy in terms of facial structure and such. but im not huge with muscles.

your right. when you take care of yourself, hygeine and grooming and such... it definitly helps. but doesnt neceassarilly mean having muscles

you my friend, are just like me... a sexy bitch. lol

**run_n_fool** · 02-04-2009, 10:06 AM

^^^ 2x on the confidence. Some chicks will be into the muscle, some won't care either way. unless you get bodybuilder huge, it will probably not be a turn off for any woman/girl. The key is to have confidence. Even if you are a skinny guy right now, if you are confident it will work in your favor. If being buff gives you confidence then it will ultimately help you with women all other things being equal

**higherdesire** · 02-04-2009, 10:09 AM

my brother my brother, in my experience the buff guy gets the superficial screw, but the ones with the confidence and swagger get girls that fall in love with them. Looks do matter but what matters more is the measure of the man. DO you desrve this girl? Does she deserve you? Then claim what is yours with boldness and assurance. Good luck.

**Dukkit** · 02-04-2009, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by higherdesire

my brother my brother, in my experience the buff guy gets the superficial screw, but the ones with the confidence and swagger get girls that fall in love with them. Looks do matter but what matters more is the measure of the man. DO you desrve this girl? Does she deserve you? Then claim what is yours with boldness and assurance. Good luck.

very nice.

**redz** · 02-04-2009, 10:11 AM

but the ones with the confidence and swagger get girls that fall in love with them.

I can honestly say I have had too many girls fall in love with me it can be like a curse you know.

Looks do matter but what matters more is the measure of the man.

You mean the size of your member? lol no problems there but I guess that matters too.

**J-Dogg** · 02-04-2009, 10:18 AM

You guys are freaking crazy.

Girls like muscles. They don't like freak muscles, like a body builder, but they like muscles.

When I was 170lbs, I was cut but I'm 218 now and it's way easier. You can tell when a girl talks to you, why she did if you spend time with her. Most of the time if I take a girl to the movies, she is feeling my arms.

I'm 6' tall. At 210 lean, with a wide frame, I do MUCH better than at 170. However, if I was 270 and on a bulking diet, higher fat, I'd scare them away.

I'm not a giant, or huge by any means, but I get a lot of attention from girls just based off conditioning. The girl at the tanner always wants me to pick up my shirt.

I'll tell you another thing, if you are good looking, and in really good shape, a girl is not going to approach you. Just like it's hard to walk up to that hot girl in the bar who seems bitchy.

If you were 170 and put on 30lbs of muscle and are getting less girls.....you are doing somthing wrong.

A lot of girls like a guy to be bigger, to make them feel smaller, to make them feel more protected. they want big arms around them to make them feel safe. The last 3 girls I dated seriously made it a point to tell their friends about my "muscles".

**redz** · 02-04-2009, 10:20 AM

The last 3 girls I dated seriously made it a point to tell their friends about my "muscles".

My wife now makes me show off my muscles to her friends...weird eh?

**run_n_fool** · 02-04-2009, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by redz

My wife now makes me show off my muscles to her friends...weird eh?

One word: threesome.

**daem** · 02-04-2009, 10:29 AM

I think you are overthinking this bro.

Ever read "Of Mice And Men" where Lenny just can't understand that he's too strong and going to crush the rabbits?

Already you are too invested thinking this girl is "your soulmate" and yet you have not one shred of proof to back that statement up. You will blow it with her by coming on too strong, I can guarantee it.

Seriously bro, stop obsessing about you "losing her" to University because she never was yours to begin with.

No offense, but this is a stalker mentality...

**redz** · 02-04-2009, 10:31 AM

Yeah this isnt a fairytale world either go ask her out and see where it goes or forget her because stalking her wont help. You need to change your standards likely. I hit some virgins but my wife wasnt one its just not likely these days most girls like to screw, how can you be sure she hasnt been in a relationship? or is still a virgin.....

***RAGE*** · 02-04-2009, 12:26 PM

BUFF, I wanted to add one more thing to this thread....what ever you do....do not write her a love letter.....she will be to old to have kids by the times she get done reading it.........

**gst528i** · 02-04-2009, 02:35 PM

lol hahahah prone u made me my drink go in the wrong tube lol ...

Hey buffedguy first thing.. are u in america? is this girl born here and brought up here? I am a "brown guy" and have had no problems picking up muslim girls and i' not muslim lol course i stay away from religious nut jobs. I did not have to ask a freinds friends and so on to find out if she likes me...
Why don't you act on it now and create a social situation where u happen to have coffee with her.
Also tell us more about this girl as in her personality. is she highly religious where dating is out of the question for her. Meaning she is still a virgin. What age is she? and does she wear the scarf. I personally hate going after indian or paki/ gurls just becoz well lets face it, most are expecting the bollywood story and want to date you with out any benefits ... lol and DAYM IT I WANT TO GET IN THEIR PANTS.

Out my personal experince, i can say muscles help to A CERTAIN EXTENT. By that i mean, if you are in good shape ( not fat, not skin n bones) And take care of yourself you shouldn't have to worry about her perception of you physically. I got girl's when i was 5'11 135lbs ( that's GROSSLY SKINNY). Now i do so much better (being 175lbs). I'm not big, huge, don't have alot of muscles but i do have more confidence and stand, walk better.
ALPHA MALE. be the alpha male, show traits of an ALPHA male.

**JiGGaMaN** · 02-04-2009, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by prone2rage

BUFF, I wanted to add one more thing to this thread....what ever you do....do not write her a love letter.....she will be to old to have kids by the times she get done reading it.........

i lol'd.

**spywizard** · 02-04-2009, 03:25 PM

hahaha..

so, you speak to this girl, and she is repulsed by you or for some reason something about you...

or

She falls madly in love with you at 1st sight..

in option a: you hate yourself and never date another woman

in option b: you hate her, or come to think you could have done better

life is a mystery isn't it??

**JiGGaMaN** · 02-04-2009, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

hahaha..

so, you speak to this girl, and she is repulsed by you or for some reason something about you...

or

She falls madly in love with you at 1st sight..

in option a: you hate yourself and never date another woman

in option b: you hate her, or come to think you could have done better

life is a mystery isn't it??

option a happened to me and turned me into the psychopath i am today.

**BuffedGuy** · 02-04-2009, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by gst528i

Hey buffedguy first thing.. are u in america? is this girl born here and brought up here?

Yes and yes.

I am a "brown guy" and have had no problems picking up muslim girls and i' not muslim lol course i stay away from religious nut jobs. I did not have to ask a freinds friends and so on to find out if she likes me...

I didn't mean that all brown guys are like that. Most brown guys in America aren't, but in the very religious community, your reputation can become tarnished if you're known for "hollering" at a girl. Furthermore, the girl I am interested in is a friend of a family friend...if I get burned and she tells her mom that this guy came up to me, well--let's just say the consequences can be horrible for me.

So it's not that I don't have the guts to go up to her and say what I have to say...it's that I can't do that, for fear that it will get reported to her mother and then set off a chain reaction. Furthermore, if she is the type of girl that responds positively to "hollering", then that will mean she is not the type of girl I am interested in.

Furthermore, I'm trying to minimize all contact with her, because I don't want to get bogged down in a quagmire. As I've posted before, I was engaged to another girl long time ago, and I regret the level of interaction I had with a member of the opposite sex before marriage. While I didn't engage in any physical intimacy, there was emotional intimacy, and that's considered a sin in my religion. So I don't want to go that route again. Basically, I want to do a surgical strike here: find out if she'd be interested, and then move in for the kill. If she's not even interested, then I can save myself the risk that I described above.

I know not all brown guys are like this; I just meant the religious "nut job" types like myself.

Why don't you act on it now and create a social situation where u happen to have coffee with her.

If she has coffee with me, then she'd disqualify herself from being the type of girl I'm interested in. Again, that level of interaction would be forbidden.

Also tell us more about this girl as in her personality. is she highly religious where dating is out of the question for her. Meaning she is still a virgin.

Yes. Yes.

What age is she?

18.

I personally hate going after indian or paki/ gurls just becoz well lets face it, most are expecting the bollywood story and want to date you with out any benefits ... lol and DAYM IT I WANT TO GET IN THEIR PANTS.

Haha, lol. Yes, they expect marriage the minute you talk to them, and that's ok, because that's what I am expecting as well.

ALPHA MALE. be the alpha male, show traits of an ALPHA male.

I most definitely consider myself an alpha male. I just considered myself an alpha male plus plus with the muscles.

Alright, other responses coming soon, God-Willing.

**BuffedGuy** · 02-04-2009, 04:00 PM

GST, what type of brown guy are you? I'm guessing Persian?

**calgarian** · 02-04-2009, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by BuffedGuy

Yes and yes.

I didn't mean that all brown guys are like that. Most brown guys in America aren't, but in the very religious community, your reputation can become tarnished if you're known for "hollering" at a girl. Furthermore, the girl I am interested in is a friend of a family friend...if I get burned and she tells her mom that this guy came up to me, well--let's just say the consequences can be horrible for me.

So it's not that I don't have the guts to go up to her and say what I have to say...it's that I can't do that, for fear that it will get reported to her mother and then set off a chain reaction. Furthermore, if she is the type of girl that responds positively to "hollering", then that will mean she is not the type of girl I am interested in.

Furthermore, I'm trying to minimize all contact with her, because I don't want to get bogged down in a quagmire. As I've posted before, I was engaged to another girl long time ago, and I regret the level of interaction I had with a member of the opposite sex before marriage. While I didn't engage in any physical intimacy, there was emotional intimacy, and that's considered a sin in my religion. So I don't want to go that route again. Basically, I want to do a surgical strike here: find out if she'd be interested, and then move in for the kill. If she's not even interested, then I can save myself the risk that I described above.

I know not all brown guys are like this; I just meant the religious "nut job" types like myself.

If she has coffee with me, then she'd disqualify herself from being the type of girl I'm interested in. Again, that level of interaction would be forbidden.

Yes. Yes.

18.

Haha, lol. Yes, they expect marriage the minute you talk to them, and that's ok, because that's what I am expecting as well.

I most definitely consider myself an alpha male. I just considered myself an alpha male plus plus with the muscles.

Alright, other responses coming soon, God-Willing.

u got that right

and u know what kind of brown I am.

**Brown Ninja** · 02-04-2009, 04:55 PM

all hoes love the muscles. Seriously who doesn't want to be someone in shape and good looking?

**almostgone** · 02-04-2009, 05:03 PM

I'd say move in now. If she likes you now, then she'll probably freak when you get bulked back..... for her. If she doesn't respond..well, the Muslim population is fairly large....right???
Either way, it will unfold as it should.

AG

**thegodfather** · 02-04-2009, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by Brown Ninja

all hoes love the muscles. Seriously who doesn't want to be someone in shape and good looking?

Most chicks between the age of 18-24...Some of the most amazing girls I have seen in that age group are with 120lb, black girl jeans wearing, non-hair doing, SLOBS, who are in an extremely shitty punk band. That seems to be the new 'cool' thing to do.

**johnnybigguns** · 02-04-2009, 05:09 PM

number 1 theres no way you can say shes the one if she doesn't even know you exsist theres no way you would even know her or anything about her to know how she is. So how could you possibly say shes the one. Your way better off with someone that has been in relationships before and has some experience cause if not then eventually they are gunna want to be with others. You have no idea about her attitude or anything. Not to sound bad and cut her up she could be the biggest craziest lying cheating skank out there. Not to sound bad but she could be perfect too. I don't want to offend you there. Once she goes to university your screwed its party time and theres gunna be tons of guys showing her attention and hitting on her all the time. If you think your gunna find that one perfcet one and everything will be perfect and be together forever your setting yourself up to fail. Do girls like muscular guys. HELL YES they do i don't knwo a single one that doesn't. Some might think someone liek ronnie coleman is gross cause he so huge but in general women definitely love a well built guy. If they tell you they dont; care its because your either skinny and got nothing or your fat and they don't wanna hurt your feelings. Also they might so no to a muscular guy because because they don't wanna look shallow. It's hard wired in them from day one 1000s of years ago. a bigger stronger guy is gunna be a better protector for her and the family. You want a 10 you gotta be a 10 so get your ass in gear get yourself to a 10 get confident and get that girl.

**BuffedGuy** · 02-04-2009, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by johnnybigguns

number 1 theres no way you can say shes the one if she doesn't even know you exsist theres no way you would even know her or anything about her to know how she is. So how could you possibly say shes the one. Your way better off with someone that has been in relationships before and has some experience cause if not then eventually they are gunna want to be with others. You have no idea about her attitude or anything. Not to sound bad and cut her up she could be the biggest craziest lying cheating skank out there. Not to sound bad but she could be perfect too. I don't want to offend you there. Once she goes to university your screwed its party time and theres gunna be tons of guys showing her attention and hitting on her all the time. If you think your gunna find that one perfcet one and everything will be perfect and be together forever your setting yourself up to fail.

Hey Johnny, peace be unto you. Everything you said is applicable to the vast majority of people living in America. However, my set of circumstances is a bit different. Like I said earlier, we're not supposed to date in the orthodox Muslim community. We just go based on "bio-data." In regards to personality, we go off of what is known about her through people who know her; for example, in this instance my sisters and mother know of her and what her reputation is in the community. From what I have heard, her personality is superb, and my mother has given the green light. I honestly trust my mom's perception of a girl's personality much more than my own, since I am easily blinded by beauty.

The way we do it is based on a semi-arranged manner. It's not 100% arranged where the guy never sees the girl, or they never talk to each other at all, etc. But it is semi-arranged. It would take pages to explain how it works...I used to be a huge skeptic of the system, but after awhile I have learned that it works. I totally understand that it is completely unthinkable to most Americans that a person would agree to marry a person without dating them. I'm not here to debate which system is better. I was simply trying to explain my situation which would help someone understand the reason for why I am asking the question I did.

I understand that most American guys like girls with experience; I don't. It would be anathema to me to marry a girl who has been involved in relationships before. I completely understand that there are benefits to this, but there are also cons from my perspective.

Basically, to answer what you said: I'm not going in 100% blind here. I know a bit about her; I've asked around about her, so has my mother and sisters. We actually think that this method of finding out about a girl is more accurate than dating her. The reason is that girls who are "b***es" tend to be extremely nice to guys they like--until of course marriage or commitment is assured. In other words, the getting to know a person through dating is not exactly *that* accurate. We like to find out how the girl treats her parents (which we think is one of the best indicators), how she treats other girls in the community, her reputation, etc.

It's sort of like buying a car...you could either test drive it for awhile and get a feel for if you like it. Or you could just do research on the internet to see what the car's reputation is. Both approaches have their benefits and cons.

Anyways, like I said, I get that this is very difficult for others here to fathom...I'm not expecting anyone to agree with me here. I'm just saying that this is the way it is for me.

Do girls like muscular guys. HELL YES they do i don't knwo a single one that doesn't. Some might think someone liek ronnie coleman is gross cause he so huge but in general women definitely love a well built guy. If they tell you they dont; care its because your either skinny and got nothing or your fat and they don't wanna hurt your feelings. Also they might so no to a muscular guy because because they don't wanna look shallow. It's hard wired in them from day one 1000s of years ago. a bigger stronger guy is gunna be a better protector for her and the family. You want a 10 you gotta be a 10 so get your ass in gear get yourself to a 10 get confident and get that girl.

OK cool. Thanks for the advice. Appreciate it. Forgive me if I said anything offensive.